Before We Fractured: Books 1-3

by Bradon Nave

  I wanted to wait in the waiting room, hide until she came out. I wanted to see her face again—that smile.

  As I walked out the door, I saw Duke in his car violently playing air drums and singing to Phil Collins’s “In the Air Tonight”—dork.

  “Hold on!” he serenated me as I climbed in.

  “Dear God. Dude. No…just no.” I quickly pressed the Power button to his radio.

  “I’m hungry, Jess. I want K.F.C.”

  “Let’s go.”

  “Mom’s at a client’s house, and I don’t have any cash—”

  “I got you, D.”

  “I’m, like, really hungry.”

  “When are you not, like, really hungry? I got you. So, when did Judy start making house calls?”

  CHAPTER NINE

  “Okay. Class…please…class!” Ms. Davenjer yelled, catching our attention. “Seriously. You all have had an entire week. Hush…please.”

  “Dude,” Duke whispered.

  “Yeah,” I replied. We sat next to each other first hour.

  “You look like ass. Did you just climb out of bed and come to class?”

  “You smell like ass, so shut the hell up.” Duke was right. I was wearing plaid pajama pants and a holey white T-shirt. Even my sneakers were horrendous—stained from mowing grass the previous summer.

  “Jessie Kasper,” the teacher snapped.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Please come to the front of the class and tell us what is so important that you need to continue talking…while using foul language.”

  “Really?” I asked. Ms. Davenjer liked me. She’d said several times I was one of her favorite students. I didn’t know if she was joking or not.

  “Really.”

  “Why you gotta be mean?” I responded, smiling. She almost instantly returned the smile—she couldn’t be mad at me.

  “Please be quiet.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “You too, Duke,” she continued.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he replied.

  She turned to the smartboard as the classroom door opened. In she walked—the girl from Dr. Cline’s office. Head down, she walked bashfully to the teacher, handing her a piece of paper.

  “Okay…take a seat, dear,” Mrs. Davenjer instructed.

  The girl sat several desks away from Duke and I. The entire classroom seemed entranced by her casual movement through the classroom.

  “Damn,” Duke whispered.

  “Kassandra?” Mrs. Davenjer confirmed.

  “Kacey…please, just Kacey,” she said as she sat down.

  “I have a cousin name Kassandra. It’s a lovely name.”

  “I’ve always been Kacey.”

  “Where are you from, dear?”

  “New Orleans…just outside of New Orleans.”

  “What brings you to South Carolina?”

  “My mother,” she said.

  “Oh…okay, well it’s nice to have you. I’m sure the class will make you feel more than welcome.”

  “Hell yeah I will,” Duke muttered.

  “Really?” Lily snapped from behind him.

  ***

  In the hall after class, I stood next to Duke by our lockers. “Jess, dude. Cajun girl is a ten. That girl is beautiful.”

  “She is really pretty. I saw her the other day—”

  “D,” Lily said as she walked up to him.

  “Hey, Lil,” he said playfully, trying to hug her.

  “I get it. I’m just a hookup or whatever, but you don’t gotta say stuff like that right in front of my face.”

  “What? Woman…what the hell are you smoking?” he said, smiling at Lily.

  “I’m serious, D. I like you. That sucks. That’s not cool,” she replied with her arms crossed.

  “Silly Lily,” Duke said as he touched her nose with his index finger. “Boop,” he said playfully. “What the hell do you mean, ‘just a hookup’? That’s preposterous. You said all you wanted was D’s D. You said you wanted to be able to do what you want, when you want…you said that, not me.”

  Lily’s shoulders relaxed as a smile fell across her pretty face. “Maybe I changed my mind,” she replied.

  “Are you asking me out?” Duke enquired.

  “Is that cool?”

  “Can you cook? I’m gonna have to taste a few samples,” he joked as he tickled the girl’s stomach.

  “Nauseating,” I said in a disgusted tone.

  “Her cooking?”

  “No, just the two of you in general,” I replied.

  “Oh, Jess. I promise I won’t hog him all to myself,” Lily said happily while Duke hugged her from behind.

  “You’re good, Lil,” I replied.

  “Jessie!” I heard Sarah say excitedly from behind me. “Here,” she said as she presented me with a coconut protein power bar—my absolute favorite. I ate them like candy bars even on days I didn’t lift.

  “Thanks…how did you—?”

  “Cory. He told me.”

  “Um. Thank you, Sarah.”

  “Friends?” she asked sweetly.

  “Hell yeah. Friends,” I replied as she hugged me briefly, then she and Lily walked away arm in arm.

  “The hell was that about?” Duke asked.

  “She wanted to give me a power bar. I dunno. So you gotta girlfriend now?”

  “I guess.”

  “You were practically dating anyway.”

  “True that.”

  “My boy, D…catching some feelings.”

  “She’s a cool girl…I enjoy her company.”

  “Yeah…I know,” I said, shaking my head.

  As we walked into class, three minutes early, I was surprised to find no one else there. I walked to my seat and set my bag down.

  “Hey, Jess,” Duke said lowly from behind me, but I didn’t turn to him. I stretched my arms out and burped—loudly.

  “Oh…wow,” I heard a girl say. It was her; Kacey. I hadn’t seen her.

  “My bad,” I said, smiling.

  “It’s okay,” she replied.

  “I guess that means no to prom?” Duke asked her.

  “Yeah, I’m that uptight,” she replied while smiling. “But uh, I don’t know if I can be seen with a guy that wears his pajamas to school,” she said jokingly.

  “Not every day,” I replied.

  “Only Mondays?” she asked.

  “Yep. It’s a system.”

  “I can do that. It’s a date,” she said.

  “That easy?” Duke asked, smiling.

  “Easy?” she replied with sarcastic look.

  “Well, you don’t even know the guy’s name”

  “Jessie? Jessie Kasper? Right? I was nervous, so I stood in the hall a minute or two before I walked into class. I heard the teacher get on to you.”

  I walked to her, extending my hand to shake hers. “Yes, I’m Jessie.”

  “I’m Kacey.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Kacey.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  “Have you ever played Grand Theft Auto so long that your initial reaction when you see bystanders is to plow through them in your car?” Duke asked as he picked me up after my appointment.

  “Nah. The hell is wrong with you?” I asked.

  “How’d it go?” he asked as I buckled my seat belt.

  “Progress.”

  “Was that Kacey girl in there?”

  “Hell no,” I said.

  “Is that her?” Duke asked as a Land Rover pulled into the parking lot. Kacey sat in the passenger seat. “New girl’s got money. And issues”

  “Douche. Thanks,” I said.

  “Ha! Man, I’m just messing with you. I probably need counseling.”

  “Geez, D. Ya think? Talking about plowing your car into crowds of innocent people.” I watched Kacey walk calmly into the office.

  “Dude! Check out Moms!” Duke said.

  “Holy…” Kacey’s mother was gorgeous too. They looked like sisters. As we stared in her direction, the woma
n glanced at us and gave us a hesitant wave.

  “Wow,” Duke said.

  “Right? Let’s hit the gym. I’ve got homework.”

  “Davenjer?”

  “Yeah,” I chuckled.

  “That woman’s something else. I like her.”

  “Me too.”

  ***

  “Dude…don’t…talk to me…when I’m running. Go away,” I said to Duke as I continued my pace on the treadmill.

  “Don’t talk to me when I’m running,” Duke said in a high-pitched voice, making fun of me. “Jess, is that your dad’s truck?”

  I looked out the window to see my father driving through the parking lot like a maniac. “What the hell?” I muttered as I reached to stop the treadmill.

  I watched my seemingly irritated father storm through the doors, scanning the patrons, mostly high school kids, for Duke and me.

  The person behind the desk eyed him curiously as he came blazing toward me. As I stepped off the treadmill, I knew he was angry at me. I had no clue what I’d done, but I knew he was mad.

  “I’ve been trying to call both of you shits for nearly an hour!” he yelled, catching some of my classmate’s attention from the weight benches.

  “My phone’s in my bag, Dad. What…what’s wrong?”

  “Did you not hear the damn ambulances and firetrucks?” he snapped.

  “No, sir.”

  “Well, I didn’t know what to think. That’s why you’ve got that phone, Jess.”

  I felt a lump develop in my throat. I hated it when my father was disappointed in me. Looking at the floor, I muttered two words—“I’m sorry.”

  “Mr. Kasper, my phone is in my car. I usually don’t bring it in. I apologize. I didn’t hear the sirens.”

  “You should probably go call your mom. I may have gotten her worked up,” my dad said to Duke.

  “Yes, sir.”

  I heard Duke walk away, but I refused to look at my dad. His gaze hurt. “Jess…dammit, Jess, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You always answer…always. Neither of you boys responded…the sirens, so many of ’em. I just freaked out.”

  I nodded my head. In my life I could remember a handful of times that my father had yelled at me. Each time it crushed me—left me speechless.

  “Jess. Let’s go to the locker room,” he said.

  I led the way, feeling sick to my stomach. As we walked past the showers, assuring there was no one in the room, I leaned my back to the lockers, continuing to look at the floor.

  “I apologize for yelling at you. I…when I heard the sirens I…are you okay?” he asked.

  Perhaps it’d been the intensity of my therapy, recalling everything with Dr. Cline. Maybe it was a combination of everything. My nerves were raw. My throat was tight, my eyes were fighting to keep from releasing tears. I didn’t want my dad to see me cry. He was always quick to remind me that men don’t cry.

  “Look at me, boy,” he said softly. I hesitantly made eye contact with him.

  “Aw. Dammit. I’m so stupid,” my dad said under his breath as he notice how affected his small outburst had left me.

  “I don’t wanna disappoint you, Dad. I’m sorry,” I choked out as a few tears escaped my eyes. I felt pathetic.

  “No…no, Jessie. This is on me. All you did was come to the gym. There’s not a damn thing wrong with that.” He extended his fingers and placed his hand on top of my sweat-drenched head. “You could never disappoint me. I just worry…I worry too much,” he said as he lightly shook my head. He then wiped the sweat on his palm on his jacket as Duke appeared in the locker room. He looked irritated. When he saw me, he got pissed.

  “Really?” he snapped at my dad.

  “D,” I said, but I knew it was useless. Duke was genuinely a good person, but when he got pissed, he genuinely got pissed. There was nothing I could say.

  “Mr. Kasper…Joe, you had my mom in tears. What the hell? And you make this dude cry? Seriously? That’s a bunch of bullshit, if you ask me,” he said as he blatantly stood in between me and my father. “He’s got enough going on as it is, but you go making him look like an ass in front of half of the rowing team and we didn’t do a damn thing wrong. We’re working out. Big deal!”

  “D…dude, chill,” I said.

  “He’s right, Jess. I freaked out. I apologize…to both of you.”

  “Dad…D. It’s cool. We’re good,” I said. I could tell my father’s apology was legit, and I was hoping it would quell the anger coursing through Duke. I’d never heard him speak to his mother like that, or even his own father before the man left. I was thankful my dad hadn’t been offended by his disrespectful tirade.

  “Well, Jess. We could be doin’ a lot worse stuff. Trust me,” Duke said.

  “You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry. I really am,” my dad said in a defeated tone.

  Duke seemed to ease up some, glancing at my dad from the corner of his eye. “I’m…I’m sorry for speaking to you like that. It was disrespectful.”

  “Duke, you’re practically family,” my dad said. “And in all honesty, I had that one coming. We cool?” my dad asked.

  “We’re cool,” Duke replied as he shook my dad’s hand.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  She sat in the desk next to me. I think perhaps she would have been open to conversing quietly the duration of English. She seemed to be looking at me on occasion—like I could feel her gaze on the side of my face. Easily one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever laid eyes on, but my focus was on a lingering ache in my belly, just below my belly button. It started first hour, right after Davenjer’s class. It was last hour now, and I was desperately wishing the remaining minutes would simply vanish. I knew Dr. Cline would check it out—offer peace of mind or confirm my need for concern. If it was gas pain or cramps, it would have resolved by now. This is something more. It has to be something more. I continuously pressed deep into my abdomen, trying to feel for masses or prod for a pain source.

  “Bellyache?” Kacey finally asked. I’d fantasized about her talking to me the entire evening before; now I just wanted her to leave me alone. I wanted to bottle the conversation for later—my head wasn’t there.

  “Little bit,” I replied.

  “Here,” she said, handing me some antacids. I took three out and tossed them in my mouth.

  “A little bit?” she said. I presumed she thought three to start with was a bit much. “Did you eat breakfast here?” she asked softly.

  I forced myself to turn my attention to her. “I did today.”

  “Bad move,” she said, smiling as the bell finally rang.

  ***

  “Jess. You’re working yourself up. My stomach kills me at least once or twice a week,” Duke said.

  “Look at what you put it in, D. This is different. Somethings going on in there.”

  “Yeah…it’s called digestion. It’ll pass, man…literally.”

  “Dammit, Duke. I’m serious. It’s not funny.”

  “I’m not laughing, Jess. Actually…I hate seeing you get worked up like this. It sucks, man.”

  “I’m gonna go in. Maybe he’ll see me a few minutes early. You gonna ride around?”

  “I’m gonna go grab Lily. We’ll be back to get you in an hour,” he said as I climbed from the seat, holding my stomach.

  As I walked through the front door, his office door was open. He looked surprised to see me fifteen minutes early.

  “Jessie. Jessie, are you okay?”

  “Dr. Cline, my stomach…something’s going on,” I blurted out. “Will you please…I know I’m early—”

  “Come in, Jessie. Lie down on the couch.”

  I made my way to the couch, anticipating the worst—I’ve been right the entire time. It more than likely had started in my colon, they just didn’t listened to me. It has to have spread by now—just like Mom; just like Cory. They didn’t catch it in time.

  As I lifted my legs on the couch and removed the pillow beneath my head to lie flat, Dr. Cline approached
with a stethoscope. I lifted my shirt to my sternum and pointed to where the pain was radiating from. “Right here. What…what if it’s colon cancer?” I said, pushing into my belly as Dr. Cline sat on the coffee table in front of me.

  “Stop, Jessie,” he said as he grabbed either of my hands, moving them from my stomach. “Jessie. You have bruising on your stomach. How long have you been messing with this area?”

  “All day.”

  He placed the earpieces of the stethoscope in his ears and then began listening to my stomach, moving the piece to multiple positions beneath my belly button. He lightly pressed on the area, nowhere near as forceful as I’d been.

  “It’s here,” I said, grabbing his hand and pressing into my abdominal muscles.

  “Stop…Jessie, now,” he said sternly. “Anything else out of the ordinary?”

  “Huh?”

  “Any changes in bowel habits? Any bleeding?”

  “Um. Normal I guess…no bleeding.”

  “Good. And when did you turn fifty?”

  “What?”

  “When was your fiftieth birthday, Jessie?”

  “You know I’m obviously not fifty,” I said, completely confused, somewhat annoyed.

  “Unless a patient is at high risk, we don’t even screen for this type of cancer until they are fifty, Jessie.”

  “But—”

  “You go to the gym a lot?”

  “Yes, Dr. Cline, but—”

  “Did you go last night?”

  “Yes.”

  “Try some new abdominal exercises? Perhaps ones that require lifting of the legs?”

  “Um…yes.”

  “You strained a muscle. And it more than likely would feel fine by now had you not harassed the area constantly throughout the school day.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes. You have normal bowel sounds, you’ve had this discomfort for what? Eight hours? You’re fine.”

  I remained on the couch, looking toward the ceiling, waiting for my heart rate to decrease.

  “Did you fill your prescription?” he asked as I pulled my shirt down.

  “Yes, sir. I did. I’m sorry…”

  “Don’t get discouraged. It’s not going to be a straight shot to recovery, Jessie. This is minor. You had a pain, a legitimate pain, and you followed up with your doctor on it. That’s okay. What isn’t okay is the fact that you more than likely didn’t retain anything from school today because you were so worried about it. Am I right?”