by Bradon Nave
A feeling of betrayal came over me as I gathered the belongings and placed them back in the box. Poor Avery. He was so affected by the loss of his son that he lied about ever being a father. And here I was, snooping through the man’s belongings. I felt despicable.
Leaving the box and its contents just the way I found them, I made my way to the house. Once inside I again went to check on Jessie—he was still sleeping. It was nearly ten and he was still zonked out.
My mind was racing with the possibilities—had Brock been sick? Had it been an accident? I was certain I more than likely would never know as Avery clearly would not be discussing the subject and I knew for certain I would not be snooping through the man’s belongings.
***
I’d cleaned the house and was putting away the dishes—all but ran the vacuum sweeper when I heard Avery pull into the drive. Jessie was still sleeping.
Putting dishes into their proper place, I was pleased to see Avery walk through the door with Burger King bags.
“You’re an angel…I’m starving, Avery.”
“Well look at this place. It looks pert-near perfect in here, little lady.”
“Dusted and everything.”
“I sure do appreciate this, Kacey. I have to work out in the barn for a quite a bit. I’ll just leave this here food for you and Jessie.”
“He is still asleep.”
“What? That sleepyhead.”
“Right? Were you able to mail my letter?”
“I did. Now we just have to wait.”
My heart fluttered mildly at the thought of my secrets being exposed. Taking the sack of food from Avery, I placed it on the table and made my way to the back bedroom to wake Jessie.
Avery exited the house for the barn.
The closer I got to the bedroom door the more prominent Jessie’s snoring became. This was the loudest I’d ever heard him snore, and as far as I knew he’d slept well the previous night. I assumed the stress had Jessie basically subdued.
Opening the door I found him completely passed out—his mouth agape and his chin distended.
“Jessie.” My calm tone did nothing. “Jessie, wake up.”
I walked to the bed and began shaking his shoulder. His eyes fought to open—fluttering as he quickly drifted back to sleep.
“Jessie!”
Finally—his eyes pried and he looked at me. “Kace…Kacey?”
“Hey. Wake up.”
“Help me.”
“What?”
“Help…” His eyes closed once more.
Grabbing both shoulders I pulled him forward. “Jessie!”
“Yea! I’m…I’m sorry. I’m up…I’m awake.” He looked about the room with a drunken gaze slapped across his face. “I’m awake now.”
“You sure?” I sat next to him as he yawned and stretched.
“I think so…” His squinting eyes and slouched position told a different story.
“Jessie…look at me.”
“Hi.” His sleepy smile assured me he hadn’t lost his sense of humor; however, I was becoming increasingly concerned with his inability to focus on my face.
“Jess…Jessaroonie. Did you take something to help you sleep?”
“Nah. My eyes…it’s a struggle.”
Regardless his morning breath, I offered him a full on kiss—attempting to get his blood pumping.
“Well good morning, Kacey.” His eyes were finally opened a bit more.
“Wake up. Avery brought food.”
“I’m trying.”
As he lowered his head once more I pressed my lips to his neck—kissing my way up to his ear. “I’m going to close the door, Jessie.”
His attention was immediately captured as he watched me walk to the door and close it softly. Returning to the bed I gently pushed him backward onto the mattress as I worked the front of his boxers down.
“Well hello.” His groggy voice was coupled with his arms stretching to the wall behind him.
“Just a little stress relief to start your day off.” My shirt was tossed to the floor.
“God knows I need it.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The rains raged outside the thin walls. Touching my eyes, I was slightly surprised to find my view wasn’t obstructed by blankets or bedsheets—but it was pitch-black in the room. Making my way clumsily in the bedroom I reached blindly for the light switch and became instantly disheartened to find the electricity out once more. “Dammit!”
Jessie’s snores were muffled by the roaring rains pounding on the tin roof. There was no light source—and no means to find one. Reaching for the fat white candle atop the dresser, I exited the bedroom to the hallway of the trailer and was slightly relieved to find a soft glow creeping down the hallway from the kitchen.
“Avery?”
As I entered the kitchen I found the man’s back to me—he was looking out the window with his arms crossed. His trance-like appearance had me cautious to approach; I didn’t want to startle him.
“I give you praise, my Lord and savior…show me the light and guide me, sweet Jesus.” His hand reached for the window, flattening out as he pressed his palm to the glass.
Completely unsure of what time it actually was, I wondered if the man was possibly sleep walking.
“Avery.”
“Oh, Kacey…hey sweetheart.”
“Hey. Are you…are you okay?”
“Yes ma’am. I prayed…I prayed for rain…but I wasn’t expecting this much this fast.”
“Oh…yea. It’s like Niagara out there. What time is it, Avery?”
“It’s nearly six. You’re up awful early.”
“Wow…I wish I could sleep as well as Jessie. That’s all he’s been doing I swear. If he’s not eating or in the bathroom he’s in bed. I don’t get it.”
As Avery turned to me, giving me his full attention, I noticed his eyes were bloodshot in the dim candlelight—it appeared as though he’d been crying.
“Well, Kacey…he’s under a lot of stress and worry right now. Some folks handle that stuff different. Poor fella.”
“I’m anxious to hear back about my letter. I want to get Jessie home to his dad and back in school. I don’t want this hanging over us any longer.”
“Kacey…sweet girl. This will hang over you kids the rest of your life. That’s just how it is. Even when they come back and say you two were acting in self-defense, this will always be a part of your history.”
“I hate hearing you say that…I really do.”
“I got him some more chocolate milk while I was in town. I think he drinks it like it’s water.”
“Right?”
“I got you some flavored water if you want.”
“Thanks, Avery. You think his milk will stay good if the electricity doesn’t come back on soon?”
“It’ll be fine as long as we keep the door closed.”
“Okay. You…you okay, Avery?”
His gaze instantly fell to the floor as his arms crossed. Something about his posture beckoned my arms to embrace him. Almost involuntarily, I hugged the man—completely grateful for everything he’d done for us. I wanted to let him know he could talk to me—he could communicate with me about his loss if he wanted to. I couldn’t, however, let him know that I’d snooped through his things.
“Thank you.” His low tone and shaking voice assured me he wasn’t okay. He needed me. After everything he had done for us, I knew for certain I could be a friend for him now.
“Avery…you’re my friend. We’re friends now. You can talk to me if you need.”
Hugging me back, Avery exhaled forcefully.
“Some days hurt worse than others…today is one of them days, Kacey.”
“Having to host two runaways can’t make things any better. I’m sorry to have added more stress—”
“I love having you kids here. I really do. I…I like coming home knowing there’s someone here.”
His misery and loneliness—I’d assumed we were a burden but
apparently we were something else; apparently we were the company he’d been lacking. Even with our baggage we were someone to talk to over the rain and wind—over the pain of loss.
“I’m thankful to have met you, Avery.”
From down the hall I heard the bathroom door fly open and the sounds of Jessie heaving. I immediately pulled from Avery and ran down the hall to Jessie. I heard the sound of vomit hitting the toilet water, but I wasn’t able to see him. Avery was soon behind me, holding a candle as I entered the bathroom.
I rubbed his bare back as I squatted next to him. His violent heaving made talking impossible.
Avery sat the candle down on top of the bathroom counter and began running water over a washcloth. I immediately took it from him and placed it on Jessie’s forehead.
“Some…something’s wrong, Kacey. My stomach is killing me.”
“It’s just a bug or something, Jess. You’re okay.” Water and vomit splashed the back of my hand as I attempted to shield his face.
“Maybe the food I brought you kids home weren’t good.”
“No. I don’t think that’s it. I feel fine and I ate the same thing he did.”
“Boy, you got the shits, too?” Avery crouched down next to me—waiting on a response to his crass question.
“No.” Jessie continued to spit as his body occasionally convulsed.
“It may just be your nerves. You two kids have been under a heap of stress.”
“No! My stomach hurts. It burns.”
Kissing his back I was helpless to comfort him.
“I got some stomach medicine in the kitchen. I’ll find ya something and see if you can keep it down.”
As Avery exited the bathroom I rewet the washcloth and continued wiping Jessie’s face.
“Can you get me those sweatpants? They’re in the floor by the bed.”
“No problem, Jess.”
Etching my way into the room, I felt about the floor with my foot until I found a mound of clothing—and the sweatpants Jessie was talking about. They were inside out so I quickly corrected them and made my way back to the bathroom.
Avery had returned and was helping Jessie take the stomach medicine he’d found for him.
He stood slowly and put his sweatpants on.
“I’m going to set the trashcan by the bed, Jess. Avery…you mind giving us some light?”
With one arm around a shivering Jessie and a trashcan in the other hand, I assisted him back to the bed. I tucked him in up to his chin and he was snoring within minutes.
“Avery…you think something is wrong? He’s too sleepy. I’ve never seen him this sleepy, and now he’s throwing up.”
“No, Kacey. I threw up and slept for nearly two weeks straight after the funeral…I mean…I think stress is a big part of this. I really do. Might have worn an ulcer or something. If it were food poisoning or a stomach flu he’d be blasting from both ends.”
“Oh…well, thank you for the lovely visual.”
Kissing Jessie’s forehead once more, I followed Avery from the room and back to the kitchen pretending to have been un-fazed by the funeral comment. I was thankful to see the morning sun kissing the kitchen cabinet.
***
My own stress level was mounting as well—and with Jessie laid up and the rains finally subsided, I decided to walk. The squishing noise beneath my shoes was somewhat calming as black crows glided about the treetops on either side of the road. The clothing I wore was all but pathetic—a large gray sweatshirt and a pair of yoga-looking pants. I assumed they were his wife’s—or ex-wife’s. I didn’t ask when he presented the things for me.
Being alone with my thoughts was relentlessly overwhelming. Part of me wanted to collect Jessie and fly to the local police department. I wanted it to be over. The sickening feeling in my stomach was that of reality. The reality was that Jessie and I were in trouble and the only way to get out of trouble was to face it.
Then I thought about Jessie and his reaction to being incarcerated and unsafe. Waiting on a response to the letter seemed to make more sense when I thought about him.
Looking toward the gray sky I thought briefly of my mother, and how I didn’t really care if I ever saw her face again. I didn’t hate her—but the history there had me lacking the emotional connection I’d once felt with her. At least for now, I didn’t care if I saw her again or not.
Nearly a mile from the house, I heard the sound of an engine coming down the road. Hiding among the vegetation wasn’t an option as the majority of the tall grass was dead and lacking color. The trees were naked too. Head down, I prayed it wasn’t a police officer or a nosy neighbor familiar with my situation in the newspaper.
I was beyond thankful to see Avery’s truck pull up next to me. “Avery! Oh my gosh, you scared the hell out of me.”
“Sorry, Kacey.” He smiled at me through the truck window. “You need anything from town?”
“Um…gummy bears would be awesome.”
“Oh…yea. That’s no problem. Do you uh…do you…listen, Kacey, if you need any girl things. You know, girl products, there’s a whole heap of that stuff in the hallway closet that she left behind.”
“Oh. Well okay then.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you or anything.”
“You didn’t. I actually hadn’t thought about it until you mentioned it. Stress does do a lot of strange things to our bodies.”
“Yep. The boy is still asleep.”
“I’ll see how he’s feeling when I get back. I’m starting to reconsider this morning walk. The last thing I want is a police officer pulling up on me.”
“Oh no. This here truck is the only vehicle you’ll probably ever see on this dirt road. Only vehicles on this road is ones coming to my place.”
“That’s comforting. Drive safe, Avery.”
Driving away he waved through the back window. I waved back as I turned in the direction of the house. I imagined what Joe and Duke were thinking—the amount of worry that they must have been under. My insides ached for their heartache. Joe had suffered so much brutal loss and now his pride and joy was gone and he hadn’t a clue if Jessie was alive. Duke was such a loyal friend to Jessie and he had to be riddled with anxiety.
The sky above me grew darker as the winds around me increased in speed. Increasing my pace, I found myself wishing I’d asked Avery to drive me back to his place before he went to town. The mist in the air was now menacing as thunder rang out in the distance.
From my peripheral vision I noticed something black in the ditch—a cat sprang from the weeds and frantically ran toward me. Unsure of the creature’s intentions, I instinctively backed away. Its horrendously loud meowing gave me the impression it was frightened.
“Do you bite?”
The cat stood next to me and looked all about, as if it had been running from something. I’d heard coyotes howling and yipping the evening before—perhaps it was running from one of them. Either way, we were both about to be drenched if we didn’t make it back to Avery’s soon. The cat followed close behind as I walked briskly down the road, hoping I’d reach the trailer before additional downpour.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I watched the feline eat expired hotdogs in the kitchen. We’d made it indoors before the rains returned.
“What the hell?” Jessie’s voice sounded harsh and raspy as he entered the kitchen.
“Well, look who is awake and functional.”
“I’m awake…but not functional.”
“You want some chocolate milk? Avery bought you some.”
“No…god no. There’s literally nothing left in me. The thought of eating anything or drinking anything other than water makes me gag. But I feel I bit better. I actually feel awake.”
“Maybe the medicine worked.”
“Nah. I puked it up.”
“Your belly still burning?”
“Not really. I think it just needs a break…at this point I don’t really care. I mean that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like…I’m tired of worrying about if something bad is wrong. I’m tired in the sense that if it is, then so be it.”
“Jessie, boy, you had an upset stomach…that’s it. No big deal. That’s all it is.”
“I know…you’re right. So where did you find this nasty critter?”
“It found me. It followed me home so I decided to feed it.”
“It’s so ugly…hideous.”
“That’s mean, Jessie. It’s probably had a rough life.”
Jessie’s scowl and look of disgust assured me the new house guest wasn’t his favorite being on the planet.
“Where is Avery?”
“He went to town.”
“Last night was a blur. The past few days have been a blur…it’s a jumbled together.”
“All you’ve done is sleep, silly.”
“The letter…do you think we’ll hear something soon? I feel like I’m going to explode just sitting here.”
“Trust me, Jess, I know the feeling. If we wait for a response I think it will go better for us in the long run. If we just…turn ourselves in they’re going to slap handcuffs on you and separate us.”
“I miss my dad, Kacey. I miss him a lot. Like, I think maybe that has something to do with me being so tired. Maybe I’m depressed or something. This whole situation is just too freaking much.”
“I know, Jess. What do you want to do? Do you want to wait for a response the letter or do you want to go to the police?” My heart raced at the thought of him choosing the latter option.
“Well that’s the struggle, sugar-puss. How the hell are supposed to know if or how they respond? The electricity never works out here and Avery’s phone service has to be the biggest piece of dog shit ever. He never has the internet. For all we know this crap could be all over CNN or that Nancy Grace lady’s show.”
“I know, right? So annoying. Part of me didn’t want to know but now it feels like we’re just sitting here when we should be at least attempting to get our lives back.”