Before We Fractured: Books 1-3

by Bradon Nave

  “’K. My heart is racing right now…I need out of here. I need fresh air.”

  “Let’s go, D. Let’s go grab some Starbucks and walk around.” Lily’s calm tone couldn’t settle me. My head was firing off in all directions.

  Sarah was calm and collected…and even pleasant as she approached me. “Relax, friend. All we can do now is wait. Let’s not drive ourselves crazy while we’re doing it.”

  “What if this isn’t the right choice? Don’t you think the authorities should know—”

  “It doesn’t matter what we think, Duke. Andrea asked us to keep quiet until she got to them. She kept her word and kept us out of trouble…we’re going to do the same. So, take a deep breath, let it out, and I’m going to treat you and your beautiful girlfriend to a coffee and a stroll through the park.”

  Obeying her command, I inhaled deeply through my nose. “I can do that…thank you, Sarah.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Pieces of bagel were attacked by hordes of paddling white ducks, all going at them each time I tossed a piece into the water. It was nice out. The sun was warm and there was zero wind. The three of us sat on a grassy slope leading to the water. Trees surrounded the area, along with walking paths. We were the only ones there. Maybe the entire community was in shock.

  “She bought that thing for you to eat, D. Not your little friends.” Lily teased—resting her head on my shoulder.

  “I can’t eat. I probably shouldn’t have had that coffee either. My heart is pounding right now.”

  “Duke…dude. It’s going to work out. Stop stressing. He’s coming home. They’re both coming home.” The confidence in Sarah’s voice unclenched my fists.

  “Sarah…thank you. I know you and Jess haven’t always been friends. Thank you for all you’re doing.”

  Sarah’s gaze out over the water was solemn…but not entirely empty. “He told me I would regret it one day.” Her soft words had me confused.

  “Huh? Jess did?”

  “No, Silly. Cory told me I’d regret walking away one day. I regret walking away every day. I was stupid…playing some role while this sweet boy doted over me.”

  Sarah’s gaze remained fixed on the water, but she had our attention entirely.

  “He spent so much time trying to impress me and I didn’t deserve a second of it. So dumb. It wasn’t that I wasn’t interested. I was so interested. But I was too self-centered and preoccupied with being the object of someone’s affection. I’m a shallow bitch.”

  “Sarah.” Lily lifted from my shoulder. “You were there for him when he needed you.”

  “I should have been there before. I should have been there making beautiful memories with him before he found out he was sick.”

  I found myself curious about what had actually went down…yet I was cautious about asking.

  “Sarah…what happened between you two. He had it bad for you. What happened?” After a lengthy and awkward pause, I got my answer.

  “It was all a show; it was all an act. I thought I was protecting myself. He was seriously the sweetest person I’ve ever met. I miss him…I miss him so much. He was my first. He was my first and I felt myself falling for him.” Wiping her eyes, Sarah’s voice began to crack. Lily’s glance was down…I had a feeling she’d heard this story plenty of times before.

  “He was a year older than me…I didn’t want to be that dumbass. That pathetic loser that fell in love with her first and then got her heart broke. I pushed him away to protect my heart and I ended up shattering it with my own hands. Yes, I was a good friend in the end. I was there to wipe his tears…but I could have been there to catch his smiles and that’s something I can’t deal with…it’s got my head so completely twisted. My head is legit messed up.”

  Sarah’s proclamation came at me like a train. The details and the reasoning for her actions had me feeling horrible for judging her. Almost involuntary, my hand went to her shoulder.

  “Hey. You’re not a shallow bitch. You’re not stupid and you’re only as messed up as the rest of us. You’re right at home with the rest of us.”

  Turning her tear-soaked face to mine, Sarah smiled. “Jess and I haven’t always been friends…but we’re friends now. Because of what we did, Jessie and Kacey might have a shot at getting past all this. Cory’s baby-brother might have a shot at getting over this. Of course I’m going to be a part of that. It’s the very least I can do.”

  She wasn’t shallow. There was more to Sarah than I’d allowed myself to see.

  “You’re a good person, Sarah. Sometimes…I guess sometimes a lack of knowledge and first impressions can be a bitch.”

  Lightly slugging my shoulder while wiping her face, Sarah smiled. “I couldn’t agree more, Sir Duke. I couldn’t agree more.”

  ***

  “I don’t understand. That makes no sense. That…that doesn’t make any sense, Lily. How? How are they not there?” Pacing in my living room while basically interrogating, my stunned girlfriend sat on my couch beneath me, starring at her phone.

  “I don’t know, D. She said the house hasn’t been touched…they were never there.”

  “No, no, no, no, no! They have to be there! Where the hell else could they be? They can’t be that far from home and not be there!”

  “Duke! Calm down! Kacey is a likeable girl…you think this Andrea woman is the only person that girl knows from the area she grew up in? She probably has hundreds of friends in that area.”

  Lily was right. The important thing was that they were alive. Knowing they were potentially breathing was somewhat settling.

  “Now that we know that they’re not there, shouldn’t we tell the police? I really think we need to tell the police, Lily. They could be looking for them right now.”

  “I don’t know, D. They specifically asked us not to.”

  “But now we know they’re in New Orleans, Lily. They’re in a city far away and right now they could have investigators tracking them down. We’re doing nothing for them if we don’t let the authorities know what we know. How can we not tell them?”

  “Okay…okay. I get it. What do we tell them? How do we tell them we know they’re in New Orleans?”

  There was too much going through my mind. My head was literally pounding. “I don’t know! This sucks…right now we should be celebrating knowing they’re safe and found. This sucks so bad.”

  “We’ll have answers soon enough, Duke. I promise. But I need you to relax, okay?”

  Her soft hand on my face worked to calm me somewhat, but I felt sick inside. This situation was completely out of my control—every aspect of it was beyond me.

  “Please, Duke. Relax. You’re going to drive yourself crazy.”

  “I am crazy, Lil. I’m losing it. I know this isn’t about me…but I can’t lose anyone else. I seriously can’t. If I didn’t have you right now I don’t know what I’d do! I can’t handle this shit anymore. Not knowing is killing me inside.”

  Inhaling deeply, Lily wrapped her arms around me. “You don’t have to worry about me going anywhere. I do love you, D. I’m here for you.”

  Her fingers tracing along my shoulder blade had me choking down the knot in my throat. Feelings suck sometimes. I didn’t feel small for continuously showing them in front of her…that’s how I knew it was real…that’s how I know we’re real.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Opening my eyes, I blinked them several times, yet couldn’t shake the confusion. I had no clue if it was the same evening…or if Lily and I had slept from the previous afternoon all the way through the night. I didn’t know if it was dawn or dusk. It didn’t matter really. I wasn’t even offered a moment’s peace upon awakening. As soon as my eyes opened I was hit with the sickening feeling of loss.

  Turning to me as I stirred, Lily smiled. “Hey, boy.”

  “Is it morning?”

  “Yep.”

  “We slept that much?”

  “We? Ha. You slept that much.”

  “You didn’t?”


  “On and off…but nah. Not really.”

  “And you didn’t leave?”

  “I told you I’m not going anywhere, D.”

  Kissing her forehead, I was sure to blow my morning breath away from her nose. “Maybe I’m getting sick or something. I never sleep this much.”

  Running her fingers through my hair while we remained side by side on my bed, she offered a hesitant smile. “D…your stomach growled all night. When was the last time you ate something of substance? You’re not taking care of yourself.”

  Even in the moments just after opening my eyes I had a strange feeling in my chest like I’d just downed a pot of coffee. It was more than a bad feeling. I had a physical sensation. “I can’t. I’ve said it before but I totally get it. I can totally see how anxiety bullshit could keep someone’s appetite away. I honestly think I could just close my eyes and go back to sleep.”

  “Well sleeping isn’t an option anymore. I need to stretch. It’s nearly ten—”

  “Are you serious? I slept from four in the afternoon to ten in the morning?”

  “Sleepy bear.”

  “Oh my gosh.” Rolling on my back, I wiped the sleep from my eyes while yawning. Her wriggling fingers began tickling my stomach as I attempted to stretch.

  “Get up, D. Freshen up and let’s go drink some tea or something.”

  “Drink some tea or something?”

  “Doesn’t tea relax you or something like that?”

  “I need something more than tea to relax this shit.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah. Like an induced coma.”

  “Whatever…come on.”

  ***

  Walking down my street, I found myself feeling weak and tired. My eyes felt like I’d been staring at a computer screen all day—worn and dry. Lily and I hadn’t conversed much. There wasn’t much more to say. It seemed we were in the middle of a waiting game and we were clearly on the losing end.

  I’d always considered myself a patient person, but this was different. I was done…I was completely done with the lack of knowledge. I was angry at the fact that Jess hadn’t reached out to me yet. No matter what was going on, he could at least let me know he was breathing.

  Approaching the Kasper house, it was nearly six in the evening. The entire day had been sluggish worthless. Just like me, sluggish and accomplishing nothing.

  Knocking on the front door, Joe was quick to answer it while talking on the phone. Waving us in with his free hand, we followed him to the kitchen.

  Within seconds he was off the phone and looking to us.

  “Joe…how you holding up, man?”

  Leaning over and resting his elbows on top of his counter, he looked away. “As best as I can I guess. This waiting bullshit has about got me.”

  “I hear that.”

  “I drove around last night…I drove around for hours and hours just thinking.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “When Cory passed away it was final…I knew the last time I told him goodbye, that was it. I’d never see him in the flesh again. With this…this is different, Duke. And you know what?

  You’re right. I’ve got to get my shit together. If there’s even a sliver of a chance that I can get my boy back…I don’t give a damn if he comes back with two heads and twelve different personalities, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my family a family and get him the help he needs.”

  Looking to Joe, seeing the resurrected hope in his eyes had me jaded. I wanted to be a part of this hope…but I was finding that difficult. Where he was finally finding optimism, I was losing it.

  “I’m glad to hear you say that, Joe. We were actually going to see if you wanted to go grab a bite to eat with us in a little bit.”

  Looking to me while smiling, Joe’s eyes were bright and ambitious looking. “Not tonight, Duke. You two kids have a good meal. I’m heading to the police station.”

  “Will you keep us posted?”

  “Yes, D. I will. You promised me we’d find him…and you’ve never lied to me before.” Walking to Joe, I hugged the man briefly as I headed out the door.

  Down the porch and to the darkening street, I looked to Lily. “He’s right…I never lied to him. What if I end up lying to him?”

  “You won’t, D. But this isn’t on you. You only have to worry about being there for him if and when we find him.”

  “I know…I get that…”

  “What is it?”

  “My phone is vibrating.”

  Pulling my phone from my pocket, I read an unknown number from Mississippi.

  “Who is it, D?”

  “Dunno. Probably a telemarketer.”

  “Answer it. You never know.”

  “Hello.” Placing the phone to my ear I heard deep breathing. “Hello…someone there?”

  “Du…Duke?”

  “Who is this? Jessie! Jessie is that you?”

  “Help me…”

  “Oh my god! Is that really you? Where are you?”

  In total disbelief in the middle of street, Lily stared at me as I verified what I’d been desperately longing to know—my best friend was alive.

  “The kitchen. Hurry. You have to hurry before he comes back.”

  His words were slow and slurred, he sounded completely hammered.

  “Jess are you drunk? Where are you?”

  “With my dad. He’s here I think. Or…I dunno. Is this Duke?”

  “Jessie!” Slapping my hand on my forehead as I paced beneath the streetlight, I felt as though I was talking to a ghost. “Where are you?”

  “The kitchen.”

  “Whose phone is this?”

  “His.”

  “I can come get you. I’ll come get you, Jess. Just tell me where you are.” My plea was high pitched as I begged.

  “How. It’s all different in my mind now. I can’t see it all this time.”

  “Jess. You’re not making sense. I need you to tell me where you and Kacey are.”

  “I don’t know how. I can’t. I called your number…I know your number…is this Duke?”

  “Oh my god, Jess. What is wrong with you?”

  “Help me, Duke. Please. I need your help.”

  “Okay…okay. Listen to me, Jess. I need you to look at the phone your using.” “’K.”

  “Is it a smartphone?”

  Staring at Lily, my heart felt as though it would explode. I couldn’t believe I was talking to him, yet he was incapable of answering my questions and I had no clue why. “Jessie! Is there a map icon on the screen?”

  “Huh?”

  “Touch the map icon on the screen.”

  “’K.”

  After several seconds, Jessie was conversing with someone else.

  “Jessie! Who are you talking to?”

  “I think…I think my dad.”

  “Your dad is here, Jessie.”

  “Huh? Are you here too?”

  “Jessie. Do you have the map pulled up on the phone?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Screenshot it.”

  “’K.”

  “Did you do it? Did you screenshot the map?”

  “Duke?”

  “Jessie! Screenshot the map and—”

  “I did.”

  “Okay. Now touch the picture and send it to me. I need you to go to the…”

  And then the phone went dead. “Shit.”

  “Oh my god, Duke. Is he okay? Are they okay?”

  “I don’t know. He’s so drunk or high. I can’t tell.”

  “What? Where are they?”

  Just as I went to call him back, a text message appeared on my screen.

  “What…the…hell. This says they’re in Mississippi.”

  “What? Duke, how the hell are they in—”

  “I don’t know.” Calling the number back, I was beyond thankful when I heard him on the other end.

  “Dad?”

  “Jessie, it’s Duke. Are you in Mississippi?”

  “Yes.”
/>
  “Why!”

  “I need help. Is this Duke?”

  “Yes! I’m going to go to the police. Stay where you are.”

  “Duke? Are you there? The police are going to kill me. Please, Duke. My head. Everything isn’t making sense. My head. Help me.”

  “No, Jess. We know what really happened. No one is going to kill you.”

  “Duke?”

  “Jess. Stay there. I’ll come get you. I’ll leave and come get you. Stop drinking.”

  “Help me.”

  “I will! I need you to sober up and keep this phone with you.”

  “Don’t call this phone. You can’t call this phone.”

  “What if I need directions or—”

  “Duke…I need you to help me. I need help. I can’t talk anymore. I need help.”

  “Okay, bud. I’m gonna come get you, okay. I’m gonna come and get you two.”

  “I think I’m dying…I think my head is dying.”

  “Jessie! Listen to me! I don’t know what’s going on but you have to hold on until I get there.

  Whatever happens, hold on until I get there.”

  “It’s all different. Nothing’s right. I’m here and I’m not really.”

  “Jessie…listen to me, okay. Stay safe and I’ll be there—Jessie? Jess are you there?”

  Turning to my stunned girlfriend, my face was stuck between a smile and a, what the hell just happened. Instantly she was inches from me. “Duke! What the hell? Is he okay?”

  “Nah…no he’s not.” My words fell from my mouth like kindergartners laughing and playing ring-around-the-rosy—slow and methodical.

  “They’re in Mississippi?” Her fingers dug into either side of her hair, pushing it back.

  “We gotta go.” Turning from Lily, I began walking toward my house.

  “Duke! We can’t just leave right now.” Her voice echoed in the quiet street behind me, bouncing off of parked cars and filling the sky.

  “I have to.”

  “No. We need to go to the police and tell them everything we know—”