“Peyton snores,” Lilly complains. “Besides, I’d rather share with Will. I wonder if he wants some company tonight?”
I grit my teeth. “This vacation is staying PG-rated, Lilly. You can room with Violet. The room at the end of the hall has two beds. Peyton, you can take the room next door.”
Lilly and Peyton head to check out their rooms, but Violet stops next to me.
“Em, are you okay?” She puts her hand on my arm. “You look a little stressed.”
“I’m just tired,” I say, attempting a smile. “I’ve been getting up early and swimming and stuff.”
She gives me a skeptical look, and I can tell that she doesn’t believe me. Violet has an excellent bullshit detector, especially when it comes to me. I feel totally shitty having to lie to her.
“Hmm. Well, if you need to talk, I’m here,” she says finally.
I give Violet a huge hug. She’s one of the sweetest people in the world, and I wish others could know her the way I do.
For the past two years, she’s had a huge crush on my brother but hasn’t done anything about it.
Sully’s the complete opposite of Vi. He’s outgoing, loud, and wild, where Vi is quiet and can usually be found holding up the walls at any party. He doesn’t see her as anything but a friend, and he never will, until she makes him see her.
Unfortunately, another problem is that Sully’s a total player. I hate saying that about my brother, but it’s just a fact. He doesn’t take anything seriously except for hockey. Girls are just another way for him to blow off steam and have fun.
However, the few girls he’s dated for more than a second have usually resembled Violet—blonde, curvy, and attractive. So she’s definitely his type, at least physically. But he gravitates toward girls who dress sexy and flirt hard, and that’s just not Vi. So unless she does something drastic, he’s not going to notice her. Which totally sucks, because she’s worth noticing.
“I really missed you, Vi,” I say, kissing her cheek. “It will be so nice to have some girl time with you and Peyton.”
“Not Lilly, though, eh?” She cocks an eyebrow and gives me a knowing look.
Vi knows me way too well. Things between Lilly and I have been rocky since high school. I haven’t fully trusted her since I caught her making out with my boyfriend behind my back at a party. He was drunk, and I was breaking up with him that night anyway, but she didn’t know that. She was stone-cold sober and just didn’t care. She wanted him, and nothing was going to stop her.
I shrug. “Lilly is Lilly. It’s fine.”
But it won’t be fine if I have to watch her suction herself to Will for the rest of this vacation.
I think sometimes, when you grow up with someone, it's hard to let go of the person they used to be. We'd been close for so long, but Lilly's changed, and not for the better. I know it's only a matter of time before she's not a part of our group at all. But old habits die hard, and for some reason, we keep including her in our plans.
I’ve noticed that Peyton and Violet have started pulling away from Lilly a lot over the past year. She’s pissed them both off a few times.
It doesn’t help that Lilly has a nasty habit of gossiping about people behind their back and then being nice to their face. It pisses me off. One of the last texts she sent me was how she was worried that Violet was gaining weight, and how she should be careful because she already needs to lose thirty pounds.
It took me all of two seconds to put Lilly back in her place, and it made me wonder what kind of crap she says behind my back when I’m not around. But I won’t tolerate her talking shit about my best friend. Violet’s tall and curvy, and she could really rock those curves—she just chooses not to. I always tease that if she’d put on a pair of cute booty shorts, guys would come running just for the chance to stare at her awesome ass. But Violet would rather bungee jump off a cliff than wear something that sexy.
I mean that literally, too. She’s a secret adrenaline-rush junkie. She was able to jump out of a plane last year because she wanted to try skydiving, yet she can’t muster up the courage to talk to my brother. For some reason, when it comes to Sully, Violet just shuts down.
After the girls drop off their stuff and change into pajamas, we go back downstairs to the kitchen. All of us are there except for Lilly, who later saunters casually into the den and squeezes in next to Will on the sectional sofa. She’s wearing tiny blue shorts and a matching camisole that clings to her curves. It reminds me of the outfit I had on the first night I slept in Will’s bed—the one he told me he thought was sexy.
Lilly’s very attractive, and she’s flaunting it big time right now. I can’t blame her, because he obviously thought she was hot enough to sleep with before. To my relief, Will’s got a game controller in his hands and doesn’t pay her the slightest bit of attention when she sits down.
I microwave a bag of popcorn and take a seat at the island next to Violet and Peyton. We drink wine coolers and spend the next hour or so catching up.
“So, how did your summer class go?” Violet asks me.
I take a deep swig of my wine cooler. “I passed, but please, guys, talk about something else. I don’t want to go there right now.”
They exchange a worried glance, and I wave my hand dismissively. “I just had a blow out with my dad over the class today, and I’d rather talk about anything else. Tell me what’s going on with you guys.”
“We text you all the time,” Peyton says, smirking. “You should know.”
“I mean what’s new.” I toss a piece of popcorn at her.
There’s not much to tell,” Violet says. “We’ve just been working at the pizza shop.”
Violet and Peyton both recently started working at Pizza Delicious, a small, family-run business on Danforth Avenue. The area is technically considered Greektown, but there’s a handful of pizza shops in the area, and Pizza Delicious is one of the more popular ones.
Peyton sighs. “Yep. Now they have me making subs every day. Violet runs the cash register, and sometimes she helps make gnocchi or meatballs in the prep room when they’re short-staffed. But once the fall semester starts, we’ll probably just work on the weekends.”
“Actually I’ve been thinking about taking the fall semester off,” Violet says. “Why waste the money when I still have no idea what the hell I want to do with my life? This ‘general studies’ stuff isn’t helping me make up my mind, either.”
“You should,” agrees Peyton. “You need to get out there and explore. See what you really want to study.”
“Yeah, but that means I’ll probably have to keep working at Pizza Delicious full-time. My dad isn’t going to let me take a semester off if I don’t have a job. Which doesn’t leave me much time for exploring and completely defeats the purpose of taking time off. I don’t know what to do.” She sighs and glances over at Peyton. “It must be nice to know what you’ve wanted to do with your life since exiting the womb.”
Peyton rolls her eyes. “Please. All I’ve ever really known is that I wanted to be creative. Majoring in graphic design was just a natural choice.”
“But at least you’re making money with your online t-shirt business,” she counters.
Peyton takes another drink of her wine cooler. “That’s just for fun. I’m not going to be making t-shirt slogans forever.”
“All of this work talk. No one’s even mentioned a guy or dating. What’s going on here?” I complain.
Violet’s cheeks turn red, and she darts a gaze at Sully, who’s laughing at something Axel’s just said. “You know I’m not dating anyone.”
“Can we just write a note and slide it under Sully’s bedroom door?” Peyton asks. ‘Do you like Violet? Check yes or no.’ This is getting painful, Vi. I can’t take watching you be so hung up on him while he fucks his way through the entire eighteen- to twenty-four-year-old demographic.”
“Peyton!” I chide, glaring at her.
“I’m just saying, she needs to make up her mind to actuall
y do something about it or move on. I hate that she’s wasting her youth doodling Mrs. Evan Sullinger on her notebooks.”
“I’m sitting right here.” Violet snaps. “Don’t talk about me like I’m not in the room. And I haven’t ever done that!”
Violet’s expression is so horrified that I can’t help but laugh. The idea of her doodling my brother’s name on her notebook is completely hilarious. Other than us, absolutely no one knows she’s crushing on Sully. She keeps those feelings on strict lockdown.
I reach over and squeeze Violet’s hand. “Despite Peyton’s unsubtle way of putting things, she’s right. It’s time to make your move, Vi. I know it makes you uncomfortable to put yourself out there and get social, or dress sexy, but that’s the kind of girl Sully wants. Maybe you can just do it a few times and get him interested. Then he’ll see what he’s missing.”
“That’s terrible advice,” Violet complains. “I shouldn’t have to be anything but myself to get a guy interested in me.”
“I get it Violet, and I agree,” I say, nodding. “But if you want a chance with him, I think you need to try a different approach. Right now, it’s like you’re throwing an awesome steak down on his plate when he’s craving lasagna. It’s just not working.”
“Now I’m being compared to food,” she says, glaring at us. “Wonderful.”
“But at least this way you’ll finally know, Vi. Then if he isn’t interested, screw him. You have to bait the hook and dangle it a little,” Peyton argues. “Besides, you have a lot to dangle, and all of it’s good.” She stares at Violet’s boobs and waggles her eyebrows suggestively.
“I’m changing the subject,” Violet announces. “Speaking of crushes, Peyton’s got a crush on Dylan.”
“Oh my god.” I stare at Peyton. “Say what? Since when? And why am I the last to know?”
Peyton sighs. “She’s exaggerating. He just intrigues me a little. All that quiet intensity he has, you know? Makes me wonder what he’s like in the sack. Can’t blame a girl for being curious, can you? And that beard is working for him.”
“And have you done anything about it?” Violet asks pointedly. “No, you haven’t.”
Peyton shrugs. “No, I haven’t yet, but only because I’ve never even seen him with a girl. Have you?”
Violet shakes her head. “Not really.”
“Maybe he’s gay,” I suggest.
“God, I hope not,” Peyton murmurs. “Though I love the thought of him getting it on with another hot hockey player in the shower.”
Violet looks up at the ceiling. “Seriously? Did you seriously just say you want to see him make out with one of his teammates?”
“C’mon, that’s totally hot, and you know it! Back me up on this, Em,” Peyton says to me, and then she tosses a handful of popcorn into her mouth.
I pretend to mull it over, and Violet claps her hands over her eyes.
Violet’s so buttoned up about sex, and Peyton loves to tease her about it. Half the time I think Peyton just says this stuff to get a reaction from her. The other half of the time, well… it’s Peyton. That’s explanation enough.
“I just want to go for a little ride,” she says, winking at Violet. “I bet he’s packing under those tight jeans, eh?” Her glance darts toward Dylan, who leans forward with the controller in his hand, completely focused on the video game.
“Probably,” I say, nodding.
“He’s what, 6’5”? I’d climb him like a damn tree. And he’s really built, too.” Peyton waves a hand dismissively. “Ah, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t seem like the type of guy to go for a one-night stand. And right now, that’s all I’m interested in.”
I exchange a glance with Violet, who frowns. Last year, Peyton was in a long-term relationship with a guy named Finn from the University of Toronto. He broke up with her six months ago, and I don’t think she’s gotten over him. She’d fallen really hard for him, and the breakup blindsided her and broke her heart.
When Peyton gets brokenhearted, she gets restless. She parties too hard, drinks too much, and hooks up with guys to prove to her exes that they’re missing out.
Of course, they are missing out, but I wish she didn’t feel the need to go to extremes to prove to herself that she’s worthy of love. She has a habit of picking guys that just aren’t good for her—stereotypical bad boys.
I glance over at Dylan. Maybe he’d be able to tamper down Peyton’s wild side. They say opposites attract, right?
“What about you, Em? Any prospects after the Aidan disaster?” Peyton asks. “Have you at least gotten back on the horse and ridden that jerk out of your system?”
Somehow, I manage to answer their question without raising any suspicion.
“Nope. I plan on laying low for now. I just want to enjoy this vacation and forget the rest,” I say airily.
Not being able to tell my best friends that I’m crushing on Will really sucks. We tell each other everything, so not being able to discuss the best sex of my life and gush over a guy I’m totally falling for? Well, it doubly sucks.
Peyton lets out a yawn. “Sorry, ladies, but I’m beat. Been up since six a.m. I think I’m going to head to bed.”
Violet nods. “Yeah, I’m fading fast here, too.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I say. “I’ll head up with you guys.”
We clean up in the kitchen and wave goodnight to everyone. Lilly, of course, is still parked next to Will on the couch.
“Night, all.” I wave. “See you guys tomorrow.”
They barely even look up from their game to acknowledge us, except for Will. His eyes lock with mine, and I can see the concern on his face plain as day. But I ignore it and go upstairs with my friends. Maybe a good night’s sleep and a fresh start in the morning will help me process everything.
Aaaaand so much for getting a good night’s sleep. It’s now three thirty in the morning, and I’m still staring at the ceiling.
I heard Will come upstairs about a half an hour ago, and Lilly was right behind him. She tried to talk him into letting her sleep in his room, but he turned her down cold. I’d nearly gotten up and done a silent victory dance around my room.
Honestly, I wouldn’t have been sure what to think if he’d accepted her offer. In my heart, I seriously doubt he would have after what I saw downstairs, but knowing their history of sex together, I still panicked.
My phone buzzes with a text, and I grab it off the nightstand.
Will: How are you holding up, Sunshine?
Tears sting the back of my eyes. How do I even begin to answer this question? I just want to be in his arms.
Me: I don’t know. Not that great.
Will: Me, neither. Will you be awake in twenty minutes?
Me: I’ve been staring at the ceiling since I came to bed, so yeah.
Will: When I’m sure everyone’s asleep, I’ll come over. We’ll talk.
An odd sense of relief rushes over me before I realize he’s actually taking a huge chance. Odds are everyone will be totally asleep by then if they aren’t already, but it’s still risky.
Me: Okay. See you soon.
Twenty minutes drags by oh so slowly. Finally, my bedroom door opens. I hear the faint noise of the television from Will’s bedroom as he steps inside.
The moon is bright, illuminating the bedroom so I can see him clearly. He’s wearing a fitted white cotton t-shirt and his sleep pants—the sexy ones that hang low on his hips. He closes the door silently behind him then turns the lock.
“Hey, Sunshine,” he whispers, sitting down next to me.
“Hi,” I manage. I need him to hold me, but I’m terrified he’ll reject me now that things are all over.
He runs a hand through his hair. “I just wanted to check and see how you’re doing.”
I hug my knees to my chest before looking over at him. “Honestly? I just want everyone to go home. Maybe that sounds terrible, but it’s true. I just want to be with you.”
He sucks in a breath before looking dow
n at the floor. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want things to end like this.”
“What happens now?” I ask. “Is this… I mean, are we back to being friends?” My voice cracks, and I glance away as the tears threaten again.
He goes to his knees in front of me and brushes the hair away from my face, then gently caresses my cheek. “Did we ever stop being friends, Em?”
The look on his face is so broken that I lose my breath. “You’re my best friend, Will. These past few days have only made that more clear to me.”
His gaze drops to my lips, and I see the spark of heat there, even in the darkness. I have to know if he feels the same way I do right now.
“Do you still want me?” I ask, my voice shaking.
“Emmy.” He lets out a deep, shuddering sigh. “Of course I do.”
Then the gentle look on his face quickly disappears. “But I meant what I said. This is over. It has to be, Em.”
A soft sob escapes me, and I quickly look away. He’s already pulled back, and now the only thing left for me to do is grieve.
“Okay.” I barely get the word out without totally breaking down.
“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I’m so sorry we couldn’t end this right.”
That’s the hardest part. I know that he’s sorry. He’s not doing this to hurt me; he’s just doing what we agreed to do. Now, I have to hold up my end of the bargain.
I ask the question that’s been on my mind ever since our friends arrived. “Are you sorry for kissing me that night in the rain?”
He reaches for me but pulls away quickly, like he feels that he doesn’t have the right to touch me anymore.
It breaks my heart.
“No, Sunshine,” he says gently. “I’m not sorry for any of it.”
“Me either,” I whisper, placing my hand on his chest. I feel his heart beating fast through the thin material of his shirt. All I want is for him to pull me into his arms one last time, but he doesn’t. Instead, he removes my hand and places a chaste kiss against the back of my fingers.
“Try and get some sleep.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
He stands and looks down at me for a moment before turning and walking toward the door.
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