“It will be okay, Em,” he says. “It’s all going to be okay.”
“Do you really believe that?”
He drags his hands down over his face. “It has to be.”
Then he turns and slips out of my room without another word. He doesn’t even look back, and I think that hurts most of all.
I fall back against my pillow, too tired to hold back my tears anymore. I cry for what could have been, and what can never, ever be.
Chapter Eighteen
EMMY
“Will, you can be my partner!” Lilly tells him.
The guys decided they wanted to go for a swim before dinner, so here we are—floating around the lake while they choose teams for chicken.
I glance over from my inner tube and see Lilly, for what feels like the millionth time in the past two hours, draping herself all over Will.
She’s wearing what might be the tiniest bikini on earth. She looks hot, and of course she knows it, but she’s trying way too hard.
Will looks annoyed, but Lilly doesn’t even notice. Not that I’m surprised.
Most of my day was spent hanging out with Violet and Peyton. I have to admit, it was good to be with my friends. I’ve missed them so much. We did a little shopping and went to lunch at one of the local restaurants before going on a short hike through the woods. We didn’t go anywhere near the treehouse, though. That would’ve sent me reeling.
Lilly had zero interest in joining us for any girl-bonding activities. She made it very clear that she wanted to spend the day with Will. That was the catalyst to get the hell away from the cottage. I wasn’t going to stand around watching her throw herself at him for the entire day.
“You’re not playing, Em?” Sully asks.
“Nah. I’ll be the judge in case you need one.”
Will glances over at me, his face concerned.
Hmm. Maybe I’m not hiding how I feel very well after all.
To be honest, I’m a total mess trying to keep my feelings under lock and key, yet Will doesn’t seem the slightest bit affected. Not one little bit. You’d never even know anything happened between us. He seems—other than the occasional worried glance he shoots in my direction—exactly like he always does.
But this problem is completely my own. Will was upfront with me from the start. He told me not to confuse his affection with desire, and I did exactly that. But my heart got all tangled up in every sweet word and gentle touch.
I need to face facts: other than being one of his best friends, I’m exactly like every other girl he’s hooked up with. I should have known that last night when we were alone in my room together. He immediately and very clearly drew an uncrossable line in the sand. As it is, I’m probably only getting the worried looks because I’m his friend.
“You’re a total party pooper,” Peyton says, splashing me. “Okay. I’ll partner up with you, Sully.”
I slide on my sunglasses. “I am not. It’s just that someone has to keep you people in line. You guys cheat.”
“Doesn’t matter anyway. When Dylan gets back from the store with our beer, this game is over. C’mon let’s get moving.”
Will slides down so Lilly can hop onto his shoulders. I study his steady hands as he grips her thighs and a white-hot flash of jealousy courses through me. I want those big, capable hands on me.
Lilly lets out a blood-curdling shriek when Will stands, and he cringes.
“There go my eardrums,” he mutters, darting a look in my direction.
“It’s so high,” she whines, clutching at his shoulders.
Violet walks down the length of the dock with a towel wrapped tightly around her. She’d forgotten to pack her bathing suit for the trip, so we stopped at one of the local shops to pick one up. The suits they had in stock were way sexier than Violet’s used to wearing, but Peyton convinced her to purchase one.
“Violet, Axel needs a partner!” Peyton calls, a scheming glint in her eyes. “Get in the water.”
“Not happening,” Violet says, tugging the towel tighter. “I’m a little bit too big to be riding around on someone’s shoulders.”
Lilly lets out a tiny giggle, and it takes every bit of restraint I have not to shove her off of Will’s shoulders and into the water myself.
Axel swims over to the dock and pushes his wet blonde hair away from his face. “Too big where, honey?” His eyes do a slow perusal of her body. “You’re gorgeous. Curves for goddamn days.”
I can’t hide my grin. Take that, Lilly.
A look of stunned surprise crosses Violet’s face, but then she smiles at Axel. And damn if that smile doesn’t light up her whole face.
She drops the towel on the ground in front of a very captive audience. I glance over at Sully and see his gaze rake appreciatively over her body. I can barely contain my glee. She’s been noticed and appreciated.
The purple bathing suit hugs her in all the right places. She’s tall and curvy and totally beautiful.
Axel lets out a low wolf whistle. ”Damn girl. Get in the water with me right now.” He tugs at her hand, and she falls into the lake with a splash. But when she surfaces, she’s laughing.
“Hey, no fair!” she complains, flicking water at him.
“Totally fair. C’mon doll, slide on my shoulders,” Axel says in his cute Swedish accent. “Let’s take them down.”
My brother’s watching this scenario carefully, and if I’m not mistaken, he looks a little bit jealous.
Peyton grins at me behind Sully’s back. “Mission accomplished,” she mouths.
“Peyton and I will play the winners,” Sully mutters as Will and Axel face off.
Lilly lets out another ear-piercing shriek after I yell, “Go.” She grabs on to Violet and soon, they’re really wrestling.
After two minutes of listening to Lilly scream in frustrating fury, Violet puts our ears out of misery and topples her. Lilly falls—ungracefully, I might add—from Will’s shoulders and belly flops into the water. She surfaces, sputtering and glaring at Violet.
“Well, you’ve certainly gotten quite aggressive since taking up roller derby, haven’t you, Violet?”
“Be a good sport, Lilly. She took you down fair and square,” I point out.
Lilly pouts and moves closer to Will. “I’d hardly call that a fair matchup,” she sniffs. “Violet’s a lot bigger than me.”
Peyton’s eyes narrow as she floats toward Lilly. “You’re such a bitch when you lose at anything. It’s not Violet’s fault you suck at this game.”
Violet waves a hand dismissively, letting Lilly’s insult roll right off. “Let it go, Pey. You know how she gets when she loses.”
Sully slides in front of Peyton and splashes water at Lilly, who lets out an indignant shriek.
“What the fuck, Sully?” she snaps. “What the hell was that for?”
“For being a sore loser,” he tells her. “Suck it up, buttercup.”
Sometimes I really love my brother.
He turns and gives Violet a curious look. “So you’re playing roller derby now, eh?”
Violet reties her damp ponytail and nods, a blush staining her cheeks. “Yeah. It’s fun. I’m only fresh meat right now, though, so I’m not on an actual team yet.”
“Fresh meat?” Axel asks. “What’s that?”
“Rookie,” she explains. “I’m just learning.”
“Yeah, learning to be a bully,” Lilly mutters. “Roller derby? It’s so…”
“Awesome? Amazing? Cool as fuck?” Will finishes. He wrenches away from Lilly’s grip on his arm and high-fives Violet. “That’s totally badass, Vi. Good for you.”
“Thanks. I really love it,” she says, smiling.
Sully’s looking at Violet like he’s never seen her before. “How long have you been playing derby?”
“Only a few months. One of the derby girls comes into the pizza shop regularly. She invited me to a game last season, and told me I should try out when they have their Fresh Meat program.”
�
�Sweet. Let us know when you join a team,” says Sully. “We’ll come see you play for sure.”
“Oh, okay. Cool.” Violet’s eyes meet mine. She’s just as stunned by Sully’s reaction as I am.
I glance over at my brother, and he’s still staring at Violet. Between the hot bathing suit and finding out she plays roller derby, she’s really shocked him today.
It’s about damn time.
Dylan drives past us and pulls Sully’s SUV into the parking space next to the cottage. He leans out of the driver’s side window. “Beer’s here!”
“Guess a rematch will have to wait,” Peyton says.
Lilly tugs on Will’s arm. “Isn’t it almost time to start dinner? It’s late, and I’m starving, Will-Will.”
Will-Will?
Ugh. I’m going to puke-puke. And, judging by the look on Will’s face, so is he.
“One Will is plenty,” he says to Lilly as she climbs the dock ladder. She pauses to adjust her bikini bottom, making sure that he gets an eyeful of her ass.
“See you all inside,” she says, strutting down the dock.
“She wants you.” Sully bats his eyes at Will. “She wants you bad, Will-Will.”
Will shoots him the finger. “Yeah, well, she’s not getting.”
“But she’s a sure thing,” Sully argues. “Why pass that up?”
Peyton rolls her eyes. “Can you two continue this gross discussion elsewhere?”
“No, because this discussion is over,” Will says flatly. When he looks over at me, his face goes pale. “I’m going to fire up the grill. Dinner in an hour.”
He pulls himself up onto the dock and towels himself off. His swim shorts dip low on his hips, revealing that cut “V” that makes me completely dizzy with lust. I close my eyes and try to force the image from my mind.
Will and I don’t have a future. We’re over, and I need to forget this chapter of my life and move on.
Though I might as well face it—nothing about what I did with Will is going to be easy to forget.
“Damn, Mav. Those steaks were absolute perfection,” Sully says, reaching across the picnic table to fist bump Will. “And the stuffed baked potatoes? I really think you missed your calling as a chef, dude.”
Axel pats his stomach. “Yeah, I think I gained five pounds from this meal, but it’s worth it.”
I laugh and point my fork at Will. “He’s been cooking like this for me the past few days. I’m pretty sure I’ve gained a couple of pounds, too.”
“Speaking of fabulous food, I happen to know a great little Italian restaurant in Toronto,” Lilly says, placing her hand suggestively on Will’s forearm. “It’s adorable and the food is homemade. We should go, Will.”
He shrugs noncommittally.
“Well, I know lots of other places if you don’t like Italian food,” she says, squeezing his arm.
Will pulls away and begins clearing the table. “You guys all look too full to move.”
“I’m not. I’ll help you clean up,” I offer. It’s the least I can do after he made all of this food.
“Emmy, I’m perfectly capable of helping Will-Will clean this up.” Lilly shoots me a look that clearly conveys she wants me to back off. “After all, I helped him with all of the prep work.”
I rub my forehead. God, here we go with “Will-Will” again.
“That’s fine,” I say, standing. “I think I’m going to head upstairs and lie down for a little bit. My head is pounding. Too much sun, I guess.”
“You do that,” Lilly says, giving me a tight smile.
Will shoots me a questioning glance, but I ignore it. I simply can’t watch Lilly put her hands all over him for another minute. Even though he’s been deflecting every one of her advances, it doesn’t keep me from seeing them together in my head, and it’s making me crazy.
I go upstairs and sink down on the edge of my bed. Suddenly, I just feel utterly defeated.
“Em?”
I glance up to see Will standing in the doorway of my room.
“What are you doing up here?” The question comes out much harsher than I intended.
“Checking on you.”
“Well, you can stop now. I’m fine.”
“Okay.” Though the look on his face says that it’s anything but okay.
I walk over to the mirror. “How did you manage to escape your shadow?”
He runs a hand through his hair. “I told her I had to go to the bathroom. She can’t follow me in there, right?”
“Don’t bet on it,” I mutter. “She’d probably follow you off of a cliff.”
“She’s driving me fucking nuts,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Can’t she take a hint?”
For a moment, I almost feel sorry for Lilly. If I were in her position and had free reign to flirt with Will, I’d do it, too. Her heart’s obviously as tangled up as mine is when it comes to Will.
“I hate watching her drape herself over you like a blanket, but what did you expect, Will? You slept with her, so she obviously thinks she can have some more fun with you while we’re up here.”
“Whoa, what?” He walks into the room holding his hands in front of him. “Back up a minute. What the hell are you talking about?”
“She told me a few months back that you guys hooked up.” I pull my hair back in a ponytail and double tie it with a hairband. I’m trying to act casual, but it’s difficult.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” His eyes narrow.
“Um, no?”
“Lilly told you that we slept together?”
I lean back against the dresser and cross my arms. “Yes, she did. I wasn’t supposed to say anything, but—”
“Oh, I bet you weren’t, because it never fucking happened. I didn’t sleep with Lilly, Em. Ever.”
“She told me that you’d deny it,” I say slowly. “That you didn’t want anyone in our group to know. That it was a secret, like it is with us.”
“This is nothing like us,” he snaps. “Is she the one who told you I’ve been screwing women all over Toronto?”
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Will look so pissed off.
“Yes.”
“Emmy, the only thing I ever did was turn Lilly down. Many times. Many, many times.”
“So she lied?” I ask. “I don’t understand.”
But sadly, I was beginning to. How many times had I talked to Lilly about something Will had said or done over the past year? Maybe she began to suspect I had feelings for him.
Somewhere along the line, she’d also developed feelings for Will. And she wanted to make sure that my feelings were kept in check so I didn’t make a move on him. Enter this concocted bullshit story.
Wow, that’s low even for her. Despite making a move on my boyfriend in high school, she’s never outright lied to me before. But then again, who knows?
“Yeah, she fucking lied!” He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. “Jesus Christ. She’s unbelievable.”
I put down my hairbrush and glance up at him. “Why haven’t you ever slept with her, Will? She’s really into you. And like Sully said, she’d be a sure thing.”
He reaches out and cups my face, gently tracing my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Because she’s not who I want.”
The air whooshes from my lungs, and my knees go weak and wobbly. It’s barely been 24 hours since I’ve been with him, and I crave his touch so much. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.
My breath hitches as he stares down at me. ”Will,” I say softly. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Well, isn’t this fucking cozy.”
My brother’s voice cuts right through our stolen moment, and I jump back, startled. His green eyes, so much like my own, lock onto my face. Fury blazes there, hot and bright, and a cold sliver of fear snakes up my spine.
This is going to be bad.
Chapter Nineteen
EMMY
My panic escalates as the color completely drains from Will’s face. He squeezes h
is eyes shut, and the agony that rips across his features nearly drives me to my knees. It’s his worst fear coming true, and I can’t help him. I can’t stop it. We might have been able to play it off if I hadn’t leaped away like a teenager getting caught making out in the backseat, but now, there’s no turning back.
My brother steps into the room. “Would you look at this. It’s like fucking Romeo and Juliet up in here, eh?”
“Sully, listen—” I begin.
“Shut the fuck up, Emmy,” he snaps. “It’s my best friend I need to talk to right now. I’ll deal with you later.”
I rear back, stunned by my brother’s vitriol. He’s never told me to shut up before in our entire lives. The words are like a slap in the face.
“Don’t talk to her like that, Sully,” Will says, his voice deadly soft. “You can say whatever the hell you want to me, but leave her out of this.”
Sully stalks over to us. “How long has this been going on, Maverick? No wonder you don’t want anything to do with Lilly. You have everything you need right here with Emmy.”
He takes another step toward Will until they’re standing nose to nose. “How fucking long?”
I slip between them and put my hand on Sully’s chest. “Sully, please don’t do this. You don’t know the whole story.”
Will gently tugs me behind him in a protective gesture. Unfortunately, this doesn’t escape Sully’s notice.
“Aww. How fucking sweet. Guarding your lady.” Sully’s practically vibrating with rage. “Are you that fucking stupid to think I’d hurt my own sister?”
Will doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t look away from Sully, either.
“Sul, would you just listen for a minute?” I try to move closer, but Will’s grip keeps me firmly behind him.
He ignores me. “Tell me how long you’ve been after my sister, Maverick. Tell me, or I’ll beat it out of you.”
“I haven’t been after her,” Will says calmly. “Nothing ever happened before this trip.”
“Oh, I see,” Sully says, barking out a laugh. “So you waited until she was alone to make your move? That’s classy.”
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