Restless Storm

by Jamie Summer

  The living room was off to my right, and I was able to make out a brown couch and the edge of what I assumed to be a coffee table.

  “Maddy?” Jake’s voice pulled my gaze away from the room and back to him. Understanding flickered in his blue eyes a second later. “I’m so sorry. I completely forgot you haven’t been here since I fixed it up.” I waved him off. “Let me give you the grand tour,” he whispered, his lips suddenly inches from mine. I barely managed to nod before he pulled my own jacket off my shoulders. “Shoes,” he murmured, spurring me into action.

  After I took them off, he grasped my hand and pulled me farther into the house. The living room was our first stop, the brown couch and coffee table exactly where I had seen them from the hallway. I let my gaze wander. The couch stood in the middle of the room, working to separate the area. A TV shelf, TV and stereo on it, stood opposite the couch. There was a bookshelf next to it, filled with a few of Jake’s favorites. The other part of the room contained a desk and another shelf, this one bigger and packed with more paper than I could count.

  “It’s a little messy. I didn’t expect any visitors.”

  I nodded, not caring in the slightest about the supposed mess. It looked lived in, lively, as if someone took great care in making sure people felt at home here.

  “It looks great,” I admitted, seeing him nod out of the corner of my eye.

  “It took a bit of work, but I finally have it where I want it.”

  I turned to face him, the hint of guilt and shame something I didn’t expect to see.

  “Let’s see the other rooms,” he suggested before I was able to comment, walking away without waiting for my answer.

  I watched him leave, fear and doubt rushing through me. Something was up. Something had changed within a split second. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but the moment we had walked into the living room, it was as if a dark shadow had come over him.

  “Maddy?” he called from my left. I followed his voice, trying to ignore the gnawing worry seeping through me.

  I reached the kitchen where Jake had stopped, my mouth falling open as I caught sight of the beautiful gray granite countertops, the middle island, and the shiny appliances. If I ever had the chance to have my own kitchen, it would look exactly like this one.

  You had the chance to live in this one, my mind helpfully pointed out. I sighed.

  “Everything okay?” Jake asked, no doubt having heard me.

  “Yes, sorry. This is beautiful. It’s... It’s perfect,” I said, the truth banishing some of the darkness from his gaze. A sliver was still there, though, hidden behind the smile he gave me.

  “Thank you.” He moved over to the coffee machine and went to work. I had no idea why he thought I needed coffee, but something told me it wasn’t so much that we needed it. More like he needed to keep himself busy.

  “Did you do it by yourself?” I asked, curious as to how he came to live in this place.

  “Most of it, yes. I wanted to have it exactly the way I imagined it, but no one wanted to rebuild a house that was moments away from crashing in on itself. I had a few friends help, of course, but I made every decision myself. Took me about six months to actually get it to the point it was sturdy. Another six to be able to live here in peace and quiet.”

  I watched him talk, carefully trying to decipher the expression he sported. His eyes shone when he talked about the place he made his own, his whole persona a bit taller. It made me smile to see the pride on his face, yet I couldn’t stop the stab of disappointment within me at the fact I hadn’t been around to witness it.

  “The kitchen was the one room I wanted to have done to perfection. I don’t spend enough time in it as of now, but I eventually want to. So many possibilities to prepare a delicious meal, but I haven’t used it to its full potential yet.”

  “You have more than enough time,” I commented.

  He nodded. “When putting it in, I guess I just expected—” He stopped himself and looked at me, his eyes full of hope and darkened by desire. Then the expression was gone, replaced by a mask I thought we had gotten past. “I’m very happy with how it turned out,” he said instead. I had no idea where the change in his mood had come from, but it was clear the promises he made before we came here were a long-lost memory to him. Or so it seemed.

  “Me, too.” I walked past him and entered the next room, a pantry right next to the kitchen. Seeing it fully stocked, surprise clouded my face.

  “When the first news of a storm hit, I prepared. People laughed at me, telling me not to worry because it would just blow over.”

  “There’s so much food in here,” I stupidly commented, and the laugh from right behind me made me suck in a breath. I felt the warmth radiating from his body before I tasted the salt in the air. Remnants from our little dip in the ocean.

  I waited. Seconds. Minutes. Hours. I didn’t know and didn’t care. My body was sensitive to every movement around me, no matter how small. A soft breeze, barely enough to notice, passed my ear as he leaned in closer, his face right next to mine. I turned toward him, bringing our lips a mere inch from each other.

  His gaze flickered from my eyes to my lips and back again, as if he couldn’t decide what his next move should be.

  “Maddy, I’m—”

  I closed the space between us and met his lips with my own. Jake eagerly responded, spinning my body to his and pulling me close. His chest met mine in a rush, my heart beating overtime with the onslaught of emotions running through me.

  While one of Jake’s hands cupped my cheek, his other roamed my body. My neck, my chest, my stomach, until it got to the edge of the flimsy sweater I wore.

  For a single second, I wished I had worn something different, something a little better than a pastel pink sweater and faded blue jeans.

  As soon as the worry took hold, it was gone. Jake’s tongue invaded my mouth, devouring me. Whatever I thought of before disappeared the moment his hand slipped under my sweater, touching my back, goosebumps spreading instantly. He watched me, his gaze boring into mine.

  I nodded in answer to his unspoken question. He picked me up with ease, and I wrapped my legs around him. He carried me upstairs toward where I assumed the bedroom was, his hold never loosening.

  I didn’t have time to take notice of the surroundings. All I saw was Jake. The moment he put me down in front of the bed, he pulled my sweater over my head, cupping my breasts over my bra while kissing my collarbone. Another shiver went through me as I leaned back to give him better access.

  Every kiss, every touch was done with deliberate care. Eagerness and patience, softness and roughness, all wrapped in a package that was all Jake. I felt like he put my soul back together, piece by piece, with every second I spent with him. All those feelings I had spent years trying to forget came rushing back to the surface until Jake was all I saw.

  We didn’t speak.

  We didn’t stop.

  When I came up for air, Jake found new ways to take my breath away. He managed to make me feel worthy with every touch, treasured with every kiss.

  Shivers wracked my body as he continued to undress me while I did the same to him. I touched his lean stomach, the small scar on his chest he got when he was a little kid, the tattoo of an eagle he told me he got when he was young and reckless.

  His breathing quickened. I reveled in the fact I was able to make him as breathless as he did me.

  As the last pieces of clothing fell to the floor, I knew there was no going back. I didn’t want to anyway. Instead, I longed to feel all of him, my body yearning for the complete connection with his. Jake lowered us on the bed and grabbed a condom out of the nightstand. As he hovered over me seconds later, his body aligned perfectly with mine.

  No matter how much I wanted to ignore it, there was no way around it. Our bodies fit. It was as if this was the universe’s next punishment for me—falling in love with the one person I shouldn’t.

  He pushed into me, stretching me wide, but instea
d of pain, all I felt was the way he completed me…in more ways than one. He moved with care, watching my face. When he silently asked permission, I wrapped my legs around him, pushing him farther into me. He didn’t need any other encouragement as he bent down to kiss me, moving his body in sync with mine.

  I reached for him like a moth to a flame, hoping he’d catch me when I fell apart.

  When he did, he did so without hesitation or doubt. With nothing but love and trust. He held me when I reached the top, following closely afterward, my breath coming out in short bursts, as if I had climbed a mountain and was able to enjoy the view.

  It was a magical feeling. One I wanted to treasure as long as I could.

  We settled down in his bed afterward, my head resting on his chest, the sheets long forgotten. The room was warm, a blanket of heat wrapped around us. Jake’s heart drummed against my ear, and I tried not to get addicted to the sound.

  It was amazing what a few hours could do. I couldn’t wait to get off this island before. Now, as my eyes found Jake’s, his blue irises still riddled with desire, I wondered if the phone call he had made a few days ago was exactly what I needed to finally heal those wounds that had been open for so long.

  “I’m not sorry, in case you were wondering. Even if this is all I get with you, I wouldn’t have wanted to do it any other way. That makes me more selfish than I should be, but I think part of me hoped it would change your mind. That, if you saw someone here cared for you, you’d consider staying.” Jake didn’t look at me as he spoke, and I hated not seeing the expression on his face. I pulled myself up, resting my head on my hand.

  “Jake, I—”

  “Don’t, okay? If you still intend on leaving, don’t tell me. I’d rather enjoy these last minutes with you before everything falls apart again.”

  “I will be here a few days longer. In case you’ve forgotten, the boats won’t be coming until after the storm.”

  He glanced at me, hope rooted deep within his gaze. Hope I didn’t deserve.

  I hadn’t made a decision yet…had I?

  “Boats may still come, Maddy. Tomorrow should be a very calm day, so I think if they have any heart, they will send another boat.”

  There it was. The feeling of hope…directed at the thought of leaving this island. God, what was wrong with me?

  “So yes, while I know technically no boat is supposed to come tomorrow, I think there could be, which means you’ll be on it. And you won’t be coming back.” He took a deep breath, his eyes avoiding mine. The shadow on his face was back.

  “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’ll do if a boat shows up tomorrow.”

  His gaze snapped to mine.

  “Being back here turned out differently than I imagined.”

  One of his eyebrows arched, so I rushed to explain. “When you called about the storm, I thought the worst part would be having to be back on this island. Back where my dad spent most of his life and lost it, too. When I got here, I realized it wasn’t the hardest part at all. Seeing all the people I cared so much for and simply left without a word was. Seeing the love they still carried in their hearts for me.”

  “Love you don’t deserve,” Jake added before I could.

  “Yes. After being here for two days, I can’t even tell you how I feel. Scared. Overwhelmed. Loved. It’s all a little too much and I’m only now starting to sort through it. I would probably need a few more weeks, but it’s time I don’t have.

  “This place is my home, Jake. I may have forgotten for a while, but if I learned one thing after returning, it’s that you never truly leave your home behind. You may escape it, but it’ll always be home to you.” I felt every word deep in my bones, realizing I had already made my decision, no matter what I pretended.

  This was my home.

  I wasn’t going to leave it behind another time.

  I was going to stay.

  Chapter Twenty

  Jake

  With every word Maddy spoke, hope blossomed within me. I tried to squash it, not wanting to get too excited, but it was hard. The way she spoke about the island made me think there was a chance she’d stay. It was a stupid thing to consider after everything. Hope was dangerous when it came to matters of the heart.

  “Nothing has ever felt as much like home as this island has for me,” I said, finally meeting her gaze again. I knew she wasn’t aware of what the statement truly meant, but I had told her enough of my past for it to make sense. This island had been my salvation, and I was never going to be able to repay the people on it for what they had done for me.

  “You made sure it was home to you. You helped the people here without asking for anything in return. To the women and men on this island, that means more than anything else ever could.” There was a soft smile on her face, and I wondered if she got lost in memories the same way she used to. Daydreaming had been one of Maddy’s favorite hobbies.

  We stayed silent after that. I tried to focus on the feeling of Maddy against me, not the uncertainty the next day would bring. The way her shoulder was nestled into me, her head resting on my chest… It felt nice.

  Her breathing eventually evened out, letting me know she had fallen asleep. I smiled, unable to hide the happiness I felt at having her so close.

  I had almost ruined it earlier. The memories of Bridget in this place had taken over for a few minutes, reminding me of the woman I had shared my life with before Maddy showed back up. Part of me had loved Bridget, but never with the same passion I loved Maddy. It hadn’t been fair to her, and it sucked it had taken someone else for me to realize it.

  Once we walked through the door, doubts had settled in. Doubts about having Maddy with me. The truth was, though, Bridget hadn’t spent the night at my place in quite a while. That night a few days ago had been one of the only times she’d stayed over recently, but it had been due to her having had way too much to drink at Earl’s and me not feeling comfortable letting her go to her own place.

  Maddy. That was who I needed to focus on. Who I needed to convince everything she could wish for was on this island.

  I wanted to tell her every decision I made when rebuilding this house was done with her in mind. I had wanted to create something I knew Maddy would feel at home in. Every room, every little corner of this place had Maddy written all over it.

  At this point, I knew it was a useless and hopeless task. There was no chance of knowing if she’d ever return, and I had wanted to try my best to forget about her.

  I cursed myself for weeks afterward, knowing I should’ve tried harder to banish her from my mind, my thoughts, but it was no use. Every time I was in the house, something would remind me of Maddy.

  Actually, every little spot on this island spoke of her—the way she used to love to go to our place by the beach to think, the million times she ate lunch at Betty’s just so she could be closer to her dad when he returned from his fishing trips.

  I knew why she had to leave this place behind. I had always known. But understanding and accepting are two very different things.

  It eventually got better. Bridget helped. She was nice, kind, passionate, and loved this island as much as I did.

  Maddy moved next to me, bringing me back to the present. I tried to erase all doubts and fears from my mind, focusing only on what I had on hand. I needed to learn to live in the present, not think about the past or the future. Before I knew it, the present would be over and gone.

  With that in mind, I did the only thing I truly wanted. I fell asleep next to the woman who held my heart, who’d always have it in the palm of her hands, whether or not she wanted to.

  I fell asleep, a bit of hope within me.

  Movement woke me. When I felt an elbow in my side, I begrudgingly opened my eyes. The sight that greeted me brought a smile to my face.

  Maddy, still sleeping, lay sprawled out on my bed. I was careful not to wake her. I wanted to take a moment to enjoy. Her eyebrows were furrowed, as if whatever she dreamt about didn’t make her very
happy. Her lips pressed together and she bit her lip, the simple movement making my body stand at attention.

  I glanced at the clock on the nightstand, to keep myself busy with something other than staring at Maddy’s naked body, and noticed it was already after eight a.m. With the dark clouds I spotted through the windows, it wouldn’t have surprised me had it only been around six.

  I stayed in bed a few minutes before deciding to start the coffee. No matter how much I didn’t want to, we both needed to face reality eventually. I got up, tiptoeing downstairs and over to the kitchen. I turned on the machine, reveling in the amazing smell filling the room as it brewed. Part of me woke up on that alone.

  A creaking from the stairs made me look up from the cups I stared at on the counter, seeing Maddy come to a halt on the bottom step. She had on one of my shirts, and the view of her in it did weird things to my insides.

  “Good morning,” I greeted her, and her eyes found mine. I wasn’t sure what to make of her expression. Part of me hoped the confusion I thought I saw was merely due to the fact she just woke up.

  “I smelled coffee.” She gave me a sheepish smile. I wanted to go over and kiss it. I didn’t.

  “Lucky you, I put some on. Will be a few more minutes, though.”

  “That’s fine,” she replied, making her way to the kitchen counter. She leaned her hip against it and glanced out the window behind me. “Calm before the storm. Isn’t that what they are calling it?”

  I nodded. I had noticed how eerily quiet it was outside earlier. Dark clouds loomed on the horizon, and the few streetlamps on the island were all turned on because it was hard to see anything without them.