by Olivia Fox
Ana waved then. Oh, she was a mind reader alright. Her lips twisted smugly, and Seb tried to remember wanting to fuck her. Because he had wanted that. A long time ago. For a while he'd thought of very little else. Funny now that seeing her waving up at him made his erection deflate nearly as quickly as Lily had made it rise. Funny that after all this time, Ana didn't want more for herself than this.
He almost felt sorry for her. Almost. She was overdoing the whole dejected and vulnerable thing and it was starting to erode his sympathy.
He'd do right by Ana. She didn't need to remind him of the promise he'd made. He wasn't a monster. When the time came to split, he'd make sure she was provided for. But in the meantime he was damned if he'd be putting up with any more of her games.
What the hell did she say to Lily?!
Mon, 17th Jan
Dear D,
So, today a rich and beautiful baronesa (Spanish baroness- I Googled it) offered me her husband as a fun-filled fuck buddy. Erm... I literally have no idea what you say to something like that. And in other news, it turns out my fuck-wit ex boyfriend was cheating on me with Emma's mentally unstable little cousin. Effing brilliant.
I phoned Emma after work, and Celia was there, in her flat, high as a helium balloon. Em swears blind she didn't know, and I don’t suppose she'd lie about it. Anyway the whole thing is pretty gross and just goes to confirm Tom's status as a major prick.
L x
Sat 22nd Jan
Dear Diary,
You’d think, having prepared every minute detail for this daft flaming Bacchanal, that the prep squad would get some down time. After all, we’re not allowed on site during thrill season. But no! That would mean rest time for Lily- we can’t have that. Every day there’s been something- always totally obscure. One of the guests suddenly fancies a hazelnut liquor, or angel wings, or (my favourite) a curly ginger mirkin. And guess what! I then have to track down said item and deliver it to the ‘drop-off’, in front of Hatherly, where a shivering, toga-wearing housekeeper trots out to meet me. Phenomenal. I will never have a weirder job than this. Even today - a Saturday for Christ’s sake - I’ve had to be on high alert, just in case the guests had any sudden whims.
But that's quite enough energy spent on other people’s weird antics. The good news - in theory - is tonight’s our girls' night out. Cayley - God love her - has bought me gel cushions for my chic new heels, so I'm about to rifle through my wardrobe for something to match. All of which should be exciting, I guess, but if truth be told, my heart's not entirely in it. I could do with an early night. My bed's calling to me... Lily you great ninny, jump in, be one with your inner lazy-arse self. But no, it's not to be. Mojitos, cosmopolitans, blue lagoons... Here I come.
Ever yours,
Lily x
PS Wonder if Lord Seb has been indulging. Probably not. Having worrying thoughts about him and that mirkin!
7
The girls met in Emma and Lily's favourite little Italian Cafe, around the corner from Leicester Square tube station. It was a little down-market for Cayley's liking, but that was the compromise, as she had chosen the totally over-the-top drinking venue. Lily hadn't had a chance to tell Cayley what had happened at Hatherly, regarding Ana’s bizarre offer, and she wasn't sure that she wanted to. Fortunately, the confidentiality contract limited the amount Lily and Cayley could say in front of Emma. Unfortunately, Cayley was still all a-flutter after their morning with Grayson and was extremely keen to talk.
"OK, Em honey, you mustn't ask questions - Lily and I spent this morning working for some very private clients - but I just have to say, WOW!! Lily, wasn't I totally right about Mr Big Buff American?!”
Emma cocked an eyebrow. “Are you trying to make me jealous, Cayley Hughes?”
“Not at all. Anyway, you've got Harry to fawn over. We singletons have to take our thrills where we find them,” she said, dismissively.
“Hey, I'm single! I'm very single. Harry's not my boyfriend, he's my boss!” Pouted Emma.
“Who you screw.”
“On occasion.” She jutted out her chin in mock-defiance.
“And who phones you all the time,” added Lily.
“Hardly. Don’t you start too!”
Lily laughed, “And who's told you countless times, that he's not interested in seeing anyone else.”
“He may have said that.”
“Cayley's right, Em, you're in denial.”
“Anyhow, Lily, I've got something to tell you,” said Cayley, flapping her hands as if to waft away all other conversation, “about the other male client we saw today. You know the one?”
Emma threw her hands up in despair, “Look, shall I just sit somewhere else? Would that be easier?!”
“No no, just wait.”
Lily focused on keeping her breathing stable. “What about him?”
“He wants to see you tonight.”
“What?! No!”
Cayley winced, knowing Lily’s reaction could only get worse, “And I said, maybe he could meet you for a drink while Emma and I go on ahead-”
“You said what?!”
Emma was grinning from ear to ear. Flitting her eyes from Cayley to Lily as though watching a particularly tense ping pong match.
Cayley continued, “And he said to see if I could convince you to meet him at the Kings Head on Charing Cross Road... It's not far.”
Lily pushed herself upright in her chair. “Cayley, what the hell?! When? What if I don't want to?”
“Then I'll text him. But please go… It's going to be really awkward if you say no.”
“It might be just a teensy weensy bit awkward for me if I say yes! He is married you know?!”
Emma's jaw nearly landed in her salad.
“Well yes, but - well - it's not exactly a mainstream marriage is it. And you wouldn't have to do anything.”
“Cayley, I don't believe this. No. No, I'm not doing it. Text him and tell him.”
“A word!” Interjected Emma, grabbing Lily by the arm and hauling her into the toilets.
“I'm not going.”
“Do you fancy him?”
“No.”
“Oh my God, you fancy him!”
Lily rolled her eyes.
Emma hopped up and down as she spoke, “You should go then! You promised yourself you'd be adventurous this year and here’s your chance! Say you'll go - please - please -”
“It's too messy.”
“Not for you. You're single, and if he's got some kind of weird open-marriage then what's to stop you?!”
Lily was about to say 'his wife' but stopped herself, wondering exactly how Ana would feel about her meeting Seb.
Emma took Lily's silence for confirmation.
“That settles it.”
“No, Emma. It doesn’t. Oh for fuck’s sake. Look, I'll go to be polite, just so I don't leave him standing, but that's it.”
“Go Lily! Go Lily -” sang Emma, soon stopping when she caught sight of Lily’s death-stare.
Emma updated Cayley, who, much relieved, told Lily that Seb would be expecting her in ten minutes time.
Lily said nothing. As she slunk down Charing Cross Road, she was sorely tempted to jump back on the tube and go home. She could be in bed with mug of hot chocolate within twenty minutes.
"Lily!” While she’d been fuming, Seb had come to a standstill in front of her. “Sorry, did I startle you?" His velvet voice alone sent waves of pleasure through her body.
Her attraction to him was endlessly irritating. She decided to get straight to the point. "Why did you want to see me?"
"Shall we go inside?” he suggested, “You must be freezing." He gestured toward the King’s Head.
"I don't think that's a good idea actually. I mean, as soon as I sit down with you I'm going to feel like I'm doing something I shouldn't."
"OK. Well, shall we walk then? Would that feel more innocent?"
Lily folded her arms.
"This is innocent! I mean, I'm innocen
t..."
"Is that right?"
"You know what I mean. Look. I'm not interested in swinging. I'm sorry, I'm just not,” she said, cheeks already flaring.
"Swinging?” He said, apparently amused by the idea. No me neither."
"Well... then what am i missing? Because you are married. Obviously you're having problems, but your wife clearly doesn't want to lose you. Do you know she told me I should sleep with you?"
Seb seemed to consider this.
"She’d do anything to keep you. It's too messy."
He didn’t respond at first, and for a while they walked in silence; Seb with hands in pockets; Lily with arms crossed defensively.
Then he stopped. He closed his eyes. "And what if I told you she's not really my wife."
Lily said nothing. If only that were true. It just didn't compute.
"At least, not in the conventional sense," he said.
"If you told me that, I'd think you were being deliberately evasive."
Seb fumbled in his pocket for a lighter. After a few long drags of his cigarette, he stared into the middle distance and answered despondently, "I'm not."
"Explain then. Just explain. I'm all ears. Tell me how you're not really married, how I've got it all wrong."
Another long drag, then Seb stubbed out the half-smoked cigarette.
Shame that’s not your only vice, thought Lily, waiting impatiently for Seb to rejoin the conversation.
"It's not my secret to tell. I'm sorry. That’s all I can tell you," he said. “Honestly, Lily, I wish you’d believe me.”
Lily slowly exhaled into the January evening, the mist of her breath faintly visible in the dim-lit back street. Somewhere between Covent Garden and Neals Yard, she faltered, conflicted. She couldn't cope with the idea of being the other woman, but Seb was so convincing, so sincere. Was that just wishful thinking? Every inch of her body wanted to just give in to him, to believe him without question, no matter how thin his argument, yet every ounce of reason was telling her not to.
"I want you Lily. And I'm used to getting what I want. I'm not going to deny it. I've wanted to fuck you ever since we first met."
His candour left her breathless.
"Why?" She gasped. Straight away, she felt ridiculous.
"Do you really not see it? The effect you have on men? On me?" Seb half-frowned as he leaned in closer to Lily. “You want to know why? Because you're a living, breathing contradiction. You're insanely sexy, but you have no idea. You're body is telling me to screw you, but your lips tell me it wouldn't be right. Even when my wife- if we must call her that- has told you it's OK! So the way I see it, the only person stopping you is you.”
He sighed, stroking her face, then holding it with both hands and leaning in so that his lips brushed her ear, "...Just do what you want for once, Lily."
He withdrew just long enough to gage her reaction.
His voice was hypnotic. She felt her lips part automatically, as she allowed herself to be drawn to his fierce gaze. That was all the confirmation he needed. Lily's breathing hitched as Seb planted his lips upon hers, forcing them apart further. Then massaging her tongue with his own, he pressed Lily against the cold wall, raising her wrists above her head in one, firm motion. Her body responded automatically, pressing herself fully against him.
"Spread your legs," he groaned.
Lily's resolve was entirely broken. It was all she could do not to rip his coat off. She brought her stilettos further apart, and he greedily pushed himself between her legs. His rigid cock pressed hungrily against her through layers of clothes, sending a rush of fire through every muscle in Lily's body. Then holding her wrists in place with one hand, and without lowering his eyes from hers, he brought his right hand down between her thighs.
His overcoat screened Lily from the world as he hitched up her skirt and roughly ripped a hole into the crotch of her tights. He pressed his palm flat against the lace of her panties, then tugged them to one side, baring her sex.
"I'm going to fuck you, Lily, but not yet. First I want you to give yourself to me." He pulled his hand away and smoothly licked his thumb. Then he grasped her again, sliding his thumb deep into her. She melted around him, barely able to stand, hands pinned in position as he withdrew and thrust into her, first slowly, then more rapidly.
It was her turn to groan. Her nipples hardened with each thrust. She wanted his lips again, the press of his body on hers; but he held back, watching her, his eyes daring her to let go. His thumb twisted inside her, sliding in - out - faster - wetter - pushing her closer and closer to the edge. So close.
She was drowning in him; delirious.
He slowed just enough to hold her there, teetering on the brink of orgasm; just long enough to see her raw and wanting. And then he pulled out.
“So, Lily Wilde. What do you want?” He said, circling her wet clit with the tip of his thumb.
Lily was speechless. She panted, staring at him wide-eyed, as he teased her.
“You’re going to tell me,” he said, withdrawing his hand completely, then lowering her wrists, and stepping back to admire his work. She said nothing but shook her head a fraction in disbelief. He licked his thumb. “You taste amazing,” he sighed. “Now tell me what you want.”
“I… I… want you to…” Lily stammered. God damn it. Her mouth and brain were refusing to connect.
“Such a shame. I guess I’ll just have to tell you what I want, instead. I want to rip those little lacy knickers off you, and lick you. I want to flick my tongue against your clit. I want to undo my zipper right here in the street and slide my cock right up inside you. I want to fuck you hard, Lily. That’s what I want.” And to Lily’s astonishment, he lit up the remains of his cigarette, and watched her, challenging her to respond.
He took a few long drags then shook his head, smiling to himself, “Sorry, old habits die hard,” he said.
He stepped forward again, shielding her with his coat.
“Here let me sort out your skirt…”
What, that’s it?! Thought Lily.
Seb adjusted Lily’s knickers while she gawped at him, motionless. Then he smoothed out her skirt and offered her his hand.
“Another time,” he said, “Let’s try a slow build up. Like I said, I’m changing my ways.”
“I think I liked the old you,” Lily muttered. But she remembered her previous resolve, her irritation at the offhand way he’d dismissed his marriage. And before long she was certain she’d had a lucky escape. It would just have been complicated - like Rubik’s Cube complicated - and she was not in the market for complicated. Of that, she was almost certain.
“I’ll walk you back to your friends,” he said, “Where are they?”
“It’s fine.”
“Don’t pout, Lily. All in good time. Now answer my question; where are we heading?”
“A. I don’t pout. B. Leicester Square. It’s a bar near there. But you don’t have to escort me."
Seb grinned. "Better had, you look a bit wobbly."
She cast him a sullen glare. He looped an arm around her waist as they made their way slowly in the direction of Leicester Square.
"Control freak."
"Yeah, yeah," he smiled.
They walked slowly, Lily wondering all the while what the hell she’d done. Seb was just so good at messing with her resolve. They crossed Charing Cross Road and soon rounded the corner onto Leicester Square. The cocktail bar was tucked to one side, well lit, and sectioned off from the crowds of hurried cinema goers by a red cord.
"This is my stop," she said.
"Want me to go in with you? Make sure they're in there?"
Lily didn't answer immediately, fighting the urge to say yes. She'd have been fine in the bar, with or without her friends, but she couldn't quite bring herself to let him go just yet. She sighed, reminding herself he wasn't hers, only on loan, then unlinked her arm.
"Thanks, but no, I'll be fine," she said.
"OK. Get ready for an ambush f
rom Cayley."
Cayley's the least of my worries she thought. Emma would be as hyped as a kitten in a wool shop by the time they regrouped.
Seb kissed her on the cheek then stood back, "Be seeing you then, Lily Wilde."
An involuntary half-smile graced her lips as she kissed him back. It wasn’t easy being mad at him. She’d have to try harder, she told herself. Entering the bar, she turned in the doorway to see him still standing there, watching her with an amused grin. She had the strong compulsion to stick her tongue out at him, but instead she wiggled her fingers in a wave and went in.
Not seeing Cayley or Emma, she sat the bar and dug her phone from her pocket to text them. But before she'd had a chance to type, an excited squeal from behind told her they were already here. Emma hopped up onto the bar stool next to Lily's.
"You're flushed! Cayley, look, she's flushed, right? That's definitely the flush of a ravaged woman!"
Lily rolled her eyes, "I've just come in from the arctic winter. Course I'm flushed."
Emma lent in closer.
"Did you just sniff me?!" Lily laughed.
"You've been smoking!"
"Oh, seriously! In all the time you've known me-" Lily started.
But Cayley interrupted, one step ahead, "Seb smokes."
Emma glowed with pride, "Yay! You kissed him didn't you! Go girl! Get in there! I'll drink to that!" She waved at the barman and ordered three Mojitos.
"Emma apparently never heard of pacing herself. This will be her third," said Cayley.
"Tsh, tsh, stop judging and drink up."
Cayley gave Lily a knowing look. Back in uni, Emma had been known for misjudging her limits, and Lily had spent half her nights out babysitting her best friend.
"Don't worry, we'll make sure her next one's a Coke," Lily said, absentmindedly scanning the place for an empty booth. A large group of twenty somethings spread across the main seating area. On the edge of the group, a tousled dark blonde lad in designer specs was giving Lily the eye. She looked away, embarrassed, out of habit. Then she stopped herself. She was single, relatively speaking, so why deny herself a little casual flirtation!