Forbidden Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  She then heatedly charged, “There was only one thing you wanted from me, and it was not friendship or affection. You didn’t care how I felt, or what I thought. You didn’t even consider my emotional or physical condition. All you ever saw in me was something you wanted. Powchutu was the only one who offered me real kindness and respect. As soon as you withdrew your orders for my protection because I wouldn’t become your mistress, the other men quickly revealed their true natures. The Indians have displayed more honor, understanding, and generosity than any of you did. I wasn’t to blame for being taken captive, and I refuse to allow you to make me feel sullied or intimidated ever again!”

  Fury and insolence glimmered dangerously in Jeffery’s blue eyes. His lips grew taut and pale in a wintry sneer. The muscle in his jawline quivered in unsuppressed anger. His caustic tone informed her, “I remember everything where you are concerned, my dear Alisha. I’ll never forget that day you threw my generous offer into the dirt and chose that blasted half-breed over me!”

  “That’s a lie, and you know it, Jeffery Clayton Gordon! Powchutu is only a friend, nothing more! Do you comprehend, nothing more! He risked his life to help me escape from the Sioux camp. He brought me here to St. Louis to catch a boat to New Orleans. I’m going home to England just as soon as I can get ship passage following this war. I can hardly wait to get away from this horrid, cruel land of yours. You see, Jeffery, there is one major difference between you and him: his generosity and friendship do not carry an impossible price; yours did. As for your ‘generous offer,’ exchanging one life of slavery and degradation for another is about the lowest proposal a man could make to a woman!”

  Disregarding her denials and accusations, he sneered presumptuously, “Just how close are you two? And don’t hand me that brother-sister malarky!”

  “You wouldn’t believe the truth if it bit you on the leg! There is nothing but friendship between us; I swear it,” she stated earnestly with futile hopes of halting any further reprisal upon them. It failed miserably.

  “Then why didn’t he just drop you off here? Why is he still hanging around you like a little, moon-eyed puppy?” He closely scrutinized her expressions and words as she spoke with him. He was resolved to have the entire truth about the scout and Gray Eagle. He had never met any woman who so captivated, infuriated, and pleased him to such great lengths. Despite Alisha’s humiliating rejection of him at Fort Pierre, he was still determined to have her in some way. The only thing left to decide was, in what capacity did he want Alisha Williams to serve him?

  “I don’t owe you any explanation for my behavior. If it had been left up to you and those other soldiers, I might be dead right now. You’re the last person who has any right to question me about anything!” Her beautiful face was flushed with the heated emotions of anger, shame, and anxiety.

  “You’re still afraid of me, aren’t you? Why?” His keen gaze was piercing and demanding. It was obvious he was immensely enjoying her disquieting predicament.

  She sharply retorted, “Don’t I have good reason to be? Do you think I don’t know who was responsible for my vile treatment at the fort those last few days? Do you think I didn’t realize you were trying to force me to beg you to restore your protection? But I also knew what that proffered safeguard would cost me; you made that clear on several occasions.”

  “I wasn’t asking or expecting any more than you paid Gray Eagle or Powchutu for their protection,” he acidly declared.

  Alisha’s eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped in amazement. For a moment he thought she was going to slap him, but she did not. Perhaps she was too stunned by his scathing remark to move.

  She finally managed, “How dare you! I was his prisoner! My strength was nothing compared to his! There was nothing I could have denied him. As for Powchutu, he has never touched me in such an intimate manner. He is a hundred times the gentleman you claim to be! Besides, you are the one who made matters between us impossible. Powchutu had nothing to do with my rejection of you. You wouldn’t give me time to get over all the terrible ordeals I had been through; you kept forcing yourself on me. We both know the only thing you wanted from me was sex! You didn’t care about me as a person. Never once did you consider my feelings. Jeffery’s needs were all that mattered.”

  She was breathing rapidly and shallowly. She quickly continued before he could interrupt her tirade, “Just like now! All you want is revenge for some imagined wrong which we’ve supposedly done to you. All I want is to be left in peace, to return home to England. My God, haven’t I suffered enough here in this savage land of yours? What is it you truly want from me, Jeffery?” Tears welled in the corners of her jade eyes; her chin trembled noticeably.

  Like quicksilver, Jeffery altered his strategy. He flashed her a rueful, wistful grin. His tone became soft. “The only thing I’ve ever wanted is you, Alisha. That first time I saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful creature alive. All I could think about was having you for my wife. We were perfectly suited to each other. We would have been good together.”

  Alisha doubted she was hearing him accurately. She stared at him in skepticism and scorn. “You certainly have a strange way of revealing such noble intentions and loving affections. Besides, you never asked for marriage, never even hinted at it; your only proposal was to make me your paramour.”

  Alisha’s chest heaved with indignation, and Jeffery had his chance to interrupt. “Only because you didn’t give me a chance to reveal how I truly felt about you. You kept placing that red bastard in my rightful position! You knew how much I despised him. I’ll never play second fiddle to any man, but especially not that damn infuriating scout! Ever since the first day I came out here, he has battled me in some fashion or another. He was constantly searching for some way to discredit me before my troops. He was always trying to make me look incompetent. Many times he cost me the respect and obedience of my own men. The only reason he got away with his despicable treachery was because his scouting services were so valuable. General Galt didn’t have the courage or sense to dismiss the troublemaker. And everybody knows half-breeds are just as bad as Indians, maybe worse.”

  “Your private war with Powchutu had nothing to do with me or with my relationship with him,” Alisha retorted. “He could no more help being a half-breed than I could help being a captive of the Sioux. If you had tried to get along with him, there might not have been any conflict between you two. You’ve never permitted him the chance to show his true personality; none of you did. That was a terrible injustice. No matter what you believe, Jeffery, you were the one who forced a choice between your friendship or his, not me. I tried to make you see reason; you refused.”

  “Hogwash, Alisha!” he snarled, placing his hands upon her narrow waist, insolently daring her to continue.

  She slapped away his hands and audaciously picked up where she had left off. “I’m not finished yet! Powchutu never put pressures on me like you did; he never threatened or intimidated me. You claimed I was not good enough for you after my sojourn with Gray Eagle; you said no man would marry his leavings. You were spiteful and cruel when I refused to share your quarters. You even went so far as to have your men harass me. You allowed their obscene insults and vicious taunts, perhaps even suggested them. I’ll never forget those awful things you said to me that afternoon. Now, you calmly inform me of some secret affection and previous marital intent. Pardon me if I cannot accept such implausible news,” she sarcastically sneered.

  “Don’t press your luck, Alisha love,” he ominously warned. “If you think that life at Fort Pierre was bad, I hate to tell you that it won’t hold a candle to the torment I can cause you here. The devil comes out in me when I’m crossed, especially for the second time by one person.”

  Alisha flinched at the truculence in his eyes and voice. “Are you threatening me, Jeffery Gordon? Are you saying you’ll tell everyone about… my past if I refuse you?”

  “Not unless you force my hand,” he replied with deceptive sweetness.
Without further delay, he dropped his first clue to his future scheme. “Or I should say, not unless you refuse to give me another chance with you.” His eyes gleamed malevolently.

  “Chance with me? Exactly what does that mean?” she inquired with dread storming her senses. She vainly struggled to conceal the petrifying effect which he had upon her. To Alisha, he possessed no sense of mercy to which she could appeal.

  Jeffery chuckled in candid amusement and satisfaction. He playfully caressed her flushed cheek, then replaced a stray curl which had blown into her face. His naked gaze devoured her flawless beauty with frightening deliberation and undisguised pleasure. At last his leering gaze returned to settle on her bewitching, watchful eyes. He smiled at his own dark secret.

  “Do not fear, ma petite. Surely I deserve an opportunity to make up for all the unpleasantness and misunderstandings between us? Things are very different here in St. Louis. I fully intend to change your mind and your icy feelings about me. I only hope you won’t force me to use threats or pressures to gain that opportunity. But, I might as well be totally honest with you from the start, Alisha; you will grant me my chance, or you will most assuredly regret coming here and reminding me of losing you.”

  “How can one lose what one has never possessed? What do you hope to accomplish with these veiled threats, Jeffery? Are you trying to force me to become your mistress as you did before? Your silence in exchange for my… services as paramour, is that what you’re hinting at?” she questioned in a shaky voice, yet knowing she had to fully comprehend what new ordeal she faced.

  “On the contrary, my lovely Alisha. I fully intend to persuade you to marry me. If not with your genial agreement, then with some gentle coercion.” He wickedly intimated his determination to have his own way, whatever that might be…

  Alisha was momentarily stunned by his implications. “Surely you jest! Marry me? That’s utterly ridiculous! We don’t respect each other, much less like each other! Why would you want to marry me? You’re not making any sense, Jeffery.”

  His broad chest rumbled with laughter—that sardonic, taunting, blood-chilling laugh. “Why indeed, my beautiful and ravishing delight? I think marriage makes perfect sense. Furthermore, you don’t have to agree with my logic; just comply with my reasonable request.” His impious lingering over the word “request” informed her his command would be anything but a polite request.

  “But marriage, Jeffery? You never alluded to wedlock at Fort Pierre. Why now? Somehow I do not think wedded bliss is what you have in mind,” she said suspiciously.

  “Had you rather I demand you become my whore? I could, and you wouldn’t be able to refuse me. Just imagine your future position here if I merely dropped the news you were an ex-squaw to the ignoble Gray Eagle. Just consider how the townfolk would view a girl who turned down a proposal from me because she preferred the memory of her demon lover to a respectable marriage. Men would be hanging around you like a shedog in heat. How many of them could you fend off? How many could that scout pull off of you before they beat him senseless? There’s no respect or kindness toward an Indian’s ex-whore. You see, Alisha, you’re too beautiful and delectable for your own safety. I can promise you, marriage of any kind to me will be better than what you’ll face here if you refuse me. Tragically, there isn’t a man or woman here who would give you a second thought if I let the truth out. I don’t want that, Alisha; I would rather have you.”

  “You’re actually serious?” Alisha protested. “But I don’t want to marry anyone. I just want to return home to England. Please, Jeffery, let me go in peace this time. There couldn’t be any happiness for us. You only want me in your power, under your sadistic control. You know a wife is nothing more than a legal slave to her husband! Tell me what you’re truly after, Jeffery. Revenge? Do you simply want me at your mercy so you can torment me? Pay me back for refusing your attentions?”

  “Think about all I’ve said, Alisha,” he advised, ignoring her questions. He was clearly not going to explain his plan to her. “I’ll give you one week to make up your mind. If I were you, I wouldn’t put any heroic ideas into that scout’s head. He’s vastly outnumbered here; it could be very dangerous for him to cause me any inconvenience. Get the drift of my warning? Another thing, make certain you two have separate rooms at Horne’s; that’s where you’ll be staying as my guests. I seriously doubt either of you have any money, and I won’t have you camping out near town. I also wouldn’t advise your trying to leave here. If you managed to get past my guards, there are nasty river pirates to worry about. Sad to picture what they might do with a splendid female like you. Just so you understand, a few of them are slightly acquainted with me and delight in assisting me with problems. Before I’ll permit that scout to win you over a second time, I’ll see to it you spend the winter as Frenchy’s guest.”

  She whitened and shuddered, because she had heard that name before. “Frenchy?” she repeated in unsuppressed fear.

  “I see you’ve already heard of him. Excellent! Then there is no need to repeat my warning, is there? Just make sure Powchutu steers clear of you in private, and don’t dare leave here. Savvy, Alisha?”

  She dumbly nodded in comprehension. “Shall we say dinner in one week to hear your decision? Or should I say to make plans for our wedding?” he teased, assuming her answer.

  Alisha remained silent and still for a few moments, trying to gather her remaining wits. She meekly entreated, “Can we keep this between us until then? Promise me you won’t antagonize Powchutu into defending me. In return, I promise he won’t come near me except in public. As far as anyone else is concerned, he is my older brother. All right? He won’t be harmed or harassed. Agreed, Jeffery?” she insisted.

  “As you wish, my blushing bride-to-be,” he drawled in a mellow tone which only heightened her anxiety.

  “I doubt if he’ll believe me, but I’ll tell him we… we might renew our friendship. I’m not certain I can make him accept this sudden change of heart where you’re concerned. He’ll be hurt and disappointed with me,” she sadly murmured.

  At Jeffery’s sarcastic clucking, she vowed angrily, “I’m warning you, Jeffery Gordon; I won’t permit you to hurt him. More than once he’s saved my life. Whether or not you believe this or even understand it, I do love him like a real brother. I’ll give you your answer in one week. Until then, stay away from both of us. If you must have me guarded, then fine. Just be sure Powchutu doesn’t get wind of your intentions; he would kill you. I don’t want that because he would be caught and hanged. One week…” she fearfully agreed, feeling she was facing a death sentence.

  He grinned triumphantly. “Until then,” he acquiesced politely, giving her a sweeping bow. He possessively seized her hand and returned her to the scout’s side.

  “See, Paul, just as I promised; I returned her safe and sound. I’ve already told Alisha I insist you two be my guests at the Horne House, and she has kindly consented to accept my hospitality. I’ll send someone to see to your lodgings before Celeste and I go on to dinner and a party. Christmas, remember? If you require any help here, ask for Tommy Hardy. Tell him I said to treat you as he would me. If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to call on me. Ask anyone where to find me. Good to see you again, Paul,” he stated to the still speechless Powchutu, then gave his hand an amicable shake.

  To Alisha, he smiled roguishly and chivalrously kissed her cold, quivering hand. “Until we meet again, Alisha,” he softly murmured, gently squeezing her hand. She could only manage a civil farewell without giving away her agitated state of mind.

  Jeffery caught Celeste’s elbow and politely led her away, heading for a large house ringing with peals of merriment. Before entering, Jeffery called a robust man over to him. They talked for several minutes, nodded frequently in agreement, glanced in Alisha and Powchutu’s direction a couple of times, then separated to go in different directions. The husky man hurried off down the semi-dark street as Jeffery ushered Celeste inside.

  Powchutu wat
ched Jeffery’s nonchalant retreat with mounting suspicion. He glanced toward Alisha to find her glaring at the man’s disappearing form. There was a strange expression upon her closed face, one he could not pierce.

  “Alisha? What did he want?” he inquired as soon as Jeffery and Celeste were out of hearing. When she did not appear to have heard his question, he repeated it in a firmer tone.

  Her stormy gaze came up to lock with his curious one. “To apologize for his treatment at Fort Pierre. He blamed it on anger and jealousy aimed at you. He offered his friendship and assistance while we’re here. I thought it wise to cordially accept both,” she woodenly informed him.

  “You can’t be serious!” he exclaimed irascibly.

  “I can, and I am,” she replied.

  “At what price, Alisha?” he angrily retorted.

  Not wishing to create a problem between them on this special night, she wearily replied, “I’m certain he will let us know before too much time has passed. I could be mistaken, but he seemed quite serious. No matter which, we cannot afford to offend him until we learn how he intends to treat us. Please don’t fight or argue with him. Just stay away from him, and hopefully he will stay away from you. Can’t we wait to see if it’s to be truce or war?”

  “If I know Lieutenant Gordon, there will be a high price for his favors. From what I saw and heard, Fort Pierre was totally demolished. How did he get away from there alive?”