Forbidden Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  She inhaled deeply and painfully. Her eyes came up to lock with his accusatory ones. “The biggest mistake I have ever made was that day when I saved your life. I should not have interfered with your unjust execution! Not a day has passed since then that I have not paid for it in one way or another. You have done nothing but torment me since that mistake! I didn’t chose any of them to protect me or to help me! I should not have required any help. You have finally recovered your loss. Do as you wish. I will not stop you; I won’t plead for the mercy which you have never possessed. There is nothing more you can do to me. I have no one to live for, and I have nothing left but my life. You destroyed everything else.”

  With that accusation, she turned her back upon him. It was too painful for her to relive those events. It was too agonizing to be near him without touching him. All she could do was wait and see what his brutal intentions were this time. She did not have to wait any longer.

  His arm closed around her chest like an iron band, nearly cutting off her breath with its great strength. The gleaming blade of his knife flickered before her eyes before it came to rest at the hollow of her neck. Cold metal touched her warm flesh. She tensed as she decided he was about to slit her throat. She accepted this fate: it was just punishment for her own crimes.

  He could feel the violent drumming of her terrified heart and the restricted pressure of her erratic breathing. She was now trembling uncontrollably; yet, she still did not plead for her life. The tears which dropped on his hand beneath her chin seemed to burn his flesh like sparks from an inferno.

  He was irrationally filled with rage and disappointment. He craved to hear her pleas for mercy; he hungered to hear her explanation for her past betrayal of his love and trust. He wanted her to offer him some sacrificial bribe for her life. He yearned for her to feign innocence and love. He needed to intimidate and to terrorize her. He needed this reality to match his dreams.

  It did not. She refused to comply. It was not that she doubted his deadly threat, for she knew he could easily slay her. She honestly didn’t care if he took her miserable life.

  Damn her! he fumed. Why couldn’t she react as she was supposed to? Why couldn’t he end this war between them? Why would she not resist him? Why was she making this so difficult for him, for it should be the easiest act in the world? What new deception was this?

  Her voice was soft and shaky as it broke into his mental battle. She nearly whispered, “What are you waiting for, Wanmdi Hota? I lack the strength to stop you. Even so, I would not. Finish what you have wanted to do from the first moment we met. You’ve always hated me and wished me dead. Why do you hesitate now? Is there some new torture you wish to inflict upon me first? Our private war has been long and costly. End it here and now. I am a naive fool, but I did not believe those lies you spoke to me that last day in the wilderness,” she vowed, recalling too well how she had accepted every single word he had spoke as truth, knowing she would give her soul to hear them all again right this moment. She did not realize that it thrilled him to hear she had not believed his words of love that day, even though each one had been true.

  To him, she was simply admitting to her final defeat and pleading for a honorable death. Yet, her next words confused him once again. “Your need for saving face is great. Else you would have betrayed my secret identity to Black Cloud that day when you learned the truth. Why didn’t you tell him I was not his precious,-long-lost daughter? You could not, for you had battled Brave Bear for my hand in marriage. You would go so far; yet, not far enough. Your hatred is so deep you will allow no one to slay me but yourself. You forbid me to find freedom and happiness. I see no great warrior in you; I see a man filled with childish hate and spite. Why did you have to come here? I hate you with all my heart,” she lied, hoping he would not guess the tormenting truth behind her pain.

  His arm tightened, forcing the air from her lungs with a loud rush. He hastily shoved his knife back into its sheath, unaware of the stunning impact of her troubling words and sad tone upon his guilty mind and aching heart. He yanked her around. They would have this war done tonight! He seized her wrists and slammed her against the wall. He forcefully pinned her there. He was panting hard. His obsidian eyes blazed like two smoldering black coals from the fires of Hades. Unleashed, his fury stormed the innocent girl.

  He had ignored the thud of her head against the wall. He flung heated words of Oglala at her, so fast and furious that she did not catch any of them. Dazed, all she could comprehend was his volatile temper. His hands released her wrists and closed around her ivory throat. But before he could tighten them and force the life from her body, she collapsed against his inviting chest.

  He automatically caught her limp body as it fell against him. He lifted her into his arms and lay her upon her bed. He stared down at her for a long time once he knew she was not tricking him. His violent anger spent, he realized how close he had come to killing her. The strange thing was that he was relieved he had not, but the reason for this relief escaped him.

  He studied her pale face, searching it for the answers to his many unasked questions. He wondered how he could have lost his temper and reason as he had. He had been completely without control. He knew he had to place a tight rein upon his emotions and temper; he must avoid another such violent outburst. Perhaps the Great Spirit had hoped to teach him patience with this long journey to locate Alisha. Gray Eagle became icily calm.

  His hand reached out to caress her cheek. With the sudden thought that Powchutu and Jeffery had both probably done this very same thing, he quickly jerked it away. He paced the room for a few minutes, just as he had seen pumas do when deciding what course of action to take next. There was only one real choice: he could kill her now, or he could take her with him and decide upon her fate later.

  He went to stand over her and to scan her from head to toe. Unwilling to settle for a hasty and irretrievable decision, he wrapped her in the bedspread and bound her into a light bundle with the drapery cords. He rapidly searched her armoire and drawers for the necessary clothing for their journey. Deciding which items to pick, he carelessly tossed them into a pile and secured them into a tight package.

  He tossed her and the smaller parcel over his shoulder and casually strolled out of the room as if he were simply going for an evening walk. Once downstairs, he lay his two light burdens on the sofa. He returned to her room and lit the lantern. He looked around the place where he had first sighted her after these many tormenting months. He tossed the lantern upon her bed and watched the covers ignite.

  Downstairs, he repeated this action in the study and the drawing room. He quickly retrieved Alisha’s body from the sofa and headed for the front door. He glanced back only once to make certain the flames would do their job: destroy the belongings of his dead brothers. Hopefully Gordon’s death would be a warning to others like him, those who earned their living by evil!

  Gray Eagle quickly moved to where Chula was waiting for him. He mounted as easily as if he had ridden this confining way all of his life, even carrying the extra weight of Alisha. He lay her across his lap and held her much as he had a day very long ago, that day when he had first captured her. He instantly dismissed those unbidden memories, knowing they might lessen his mood for justice against her. He headed off toward the direction where White Arrow was camped, waiting for his solitary return.

  He grinned to himself, imagining White Arrow’s reaction to this light burden upon his lap. The smile faded almost immediately. He would make certain White Arrow did not befriend her this time or be innocently deceived by her false nature. He would make certain she could turn to no one for help or protection except him. Of course, that would be determined by whether or not he wanted to show her mercy or protection! She was his wife!

  Wife…he had remembered, and yet he had forgotten, this fact. He could not very well take her back to his camp as his prisoner, not when everyone back there believed her to be the daughter of Black Cloud and his beloved wife! If he exposed her part i
n his attempted murder and her pretense as Black Cloud’s daughter, he would be forced to put her to death instantly.

  Question was: did he want her death? For certain, he would not tell her anything about his decisions. He would allow her to fear her precarious position!

  Chapter Twenty

  It was mid-morning before Alisha stirred in Gray Eagle’s embrace. Her lids fluttered, then gradually opened. She gazed up at the truculent expression which was vividly written upon her first husband’s portentous features. She struggled to come to a sitting position.

  “Sit still, Woman! Or I’ll be forced to tie you to the back of my saddle,” he warned in a tone as crisp as the morning air.

  His black mood and angry tone were as chilly as the frost of a November day. Alisha forced herself to remain still, but not silent. “Why trouble yourself to haul me back there? Why not kill me here and now? Why not last night? Unless that would deny you the pleasure of torturing me first,” she taunted angrily to this forceful man who still possessed her heart and soul.

  His hand came to her throat as he warned, “Silence! Or I will cut out your chattering tongue, Wasichun.”

  She glared at him, then braved, “Does my annoying tongue speak the annoying truth, O Brave Warrior?”

  His black eyes locked onto her pale face and rosy cheeks. “Your annoying tongue has never spoken the truth. Why should it begin now?” he sneered, allowing her to accept his mysterious claim as only an insulting sting.

  “Nor has yours, dear husband!” she instantly and uncontrollably flung back at him.

  His hand tightened upon her soft neck, cutting off her air. She automatically struggled to breathe. She weakened and relented first; she ceased to resist him. He-bored his obsidian eyes into her emerald ones, daring her to speak again.

  She wisely did not. She turned her head away from his copper shoulder and manly smell. She focused upon the swiftly changing scenery which they hurried past. Spring was almost upon them. The trees were sprouting new buds and tiny leaves. The grasses were growing rapidly, shouting their green message to the blue sky. Early wildflowers had risen here and there to reveal their uncultivated beauty to the human eye.

  But Alisha’s thoughts travelled a much darker and sinister road. Gray Eagle had confessed to slaying Jeffery last night; therefore, she was a widow in one sense. She could only assume he had some spiteful plan in mind for her, or he would have killed her upon sight. She wondered if he had come for Jeffery alone, or perhaps both of them. She wondered if he already knew about Powchutu’s death, for he had not mentioned him at all. No doubt that news would please him.

  Hours later, Alisha’s back was aching and cramping from this constant strained position. Unable to bear it any longer, she stated firmly, “I cannot ride this way any further. At least stop for a little while,” she entreated.

  “If you’re hoping for another rescue, don’t waste your time,” he acidly informed her.

  She looked up at him. “I seriously doubt anyone knows where I am or what has happened to me. You aren’t one to leave any clues behind,” she sneered. “My back hurts,” she explained.

  “Not as much as…” he halted his loosened tongue before it told of how deeply she had hurt him, physically and emotionally.

  “Not as much as it will very soon? Another five lashes, or perhaps ten this time?” she concluded from his brief slip.

  “Wait and see. I need not tell you my plans!”

  “We certainly cannot begin a new tradition, can we? Let me sit up, or I’ll force you to begin your punishment right now!” she issued a bold threat of her own.

  He snorted in amusement as he halted Chula, then casually dropped her to the hard, stony ground. Confined in the bedcover, she helplessly tumbled over. She instantly strained to come to a kneeling position, resolved that he would not shame her this way. Her blazing, emerald eyes came up to glare at him.

  He eased his right leg over the saddle horn and leisurely let it rest across his left thigh. “Then rest,” he taunted with a chuckle.

  “Will you please untie me?” she frostily implored.

  “You cannot escape me again, Alisha. Face it! I can do what I please with you,” he haughtily threatened, irresistible maleness exuding from every pore of his towering frame.

  “If it does not please you to untie me for a few minutes of privacy, then your pants will soon be mighty uncomfortable,” she retorted with a crimson face and trembling voice.

  He burst into hearty laughter. He jumped down to the ground with natural agility and animal grace. He removed his knife to cut the drapery cords. Alisha defensively retreated a few steps. He laughed again as he reached for her and yanked her to him. He cut the constricting bonds.

  Before she could head into the nearby bushes, he seized her upper arms and pulled her to within inches of his ruthless body. “If you make any attempt to trick me or to get away again, I need not tell you what I will do to you,” he stated.

  “My foolish, daring days are over, Wanmdi Hota. You have proven escape is impossible. I will return shortly. You have my word, for what it’s worth to you,” she declared in a wounded tone.

  “It is worth nothing to me. But I do trust you know when you are defeated!”

  Within a few minutes, she did return. She strolled around as she attempted to restore some circulation in her legs and back. She rubbed the taut, aching muscles near her waist. She longed for some water, but refused to ask for it. Long ago under similar circumstances he had refused her rest or water. Why should he grant her either of those luxuries today? She sighed heavily with unrelenting fatigue. Strange, she would gladly exchange that day for this one…

  “Let’s go!” his terse voice called out, as if he had read her thoughts.

  She meekly came over to him and held out her hands to be bound. Noting the seductive allure of her state of scanty attire, he handed her the small bundle which had been taken from her room. “Put something on. If we meet up with others, I do not plan to risk my life to keep the men off of you. Besides, a near naked female might cause too much interest or suspicion.”

  She took the bundle and opened it. She was relieved to find some of her own clothing inside of it. She pulled out a floral cotton skirt and white blouse. He had chosen well, for nothing she had could be better for this type of travel. She headed for the bushes to change.

  He halted her and ordered her to put the clothes on immediately. “You forget, Woman, I have seen far more of you than is revealed now,” he said smugly. His dark eyes deliberately removed what little clothing she now wore.

  She flushed, half in anger and half in modesty. She did as he commanded. Noting her bare feet, he shrugged his shoulders and remarked, “Guess I did forget something. Let’s go,” he called out again, his thoughts definitely somewhere else.

  He mounted up and lifted her up behind him. When he headed out, she was forced to slip her arms around his narrow waist or be thrown from his horse. She was grateful for the shirt he was wearing; she did not think she could endure contact with his flesh.

  They rode in total silence for hours. He wished he had two horses, for her nearness and touch were disturbing. There was no doubt in his mind as to what action he wanted to perform at the present time; yet, he fiercely controlled his desires. He would never permit her to know of her effect upon him. Coming to the secret place where White Arrow was camped, he reined in Chula. He threw his leg over the saddle and hopped down. He reached up and unceremoniously yanked her off of his horse.

  White Arrow came forward. Astounded by the incredible sight which greeted his eager eyes, he stammered, “Where did you find her?”

  Alisha whirled around at the sound of his familiar voice. Her face glowed with happiness and relief; her old friend was here, and she would not be alone with Gray Eagle. She shrieked his name and rushed to meet him. His withering glare and instant withdrawal warned her of his unanticipated hostility toward her.

  She halted so quickly that she nearly fell forward into his arms.
She fixed puzzled eyes upon his stony features. “Wanhinkpe Ska?” she softly inquired. She reached out to touch his arm.

  He jerked it away before she could make any contact. He glared at the girl who had betrayed his affection and trust in her. His scathing look scanned the female who had dared to strike at his blood brother, all for the love of another man. Worse, she had pretended to love his friend. She had feigned friendship with him. She had permitted him to be her friend and protector. Such deceit and dishonor could not be accepted by either of them. She was unworthy of Gray Eagle’s love and trust; she was unworthy of his own respect, friendship, and protection.

  Witnessing the animosity and repulsion in White Arrow’s face, her expression and tone of voice suddenly changed. It now hinted of a strange sadness and disappointment. “I see… no longer kodas, if we ever were.” Resignation and bitterness edged their way into her silvery voice. “As you wish, White Arrow.” She turned to face her other antagonist, trapped between them. “What now, Wanmdi Hota?”

  “You are my captive once more. Do as I command,” he tersely informed her. “We will leave here soon. Do what is needed before we ride.”

  They rode until sunset. After several furtive glances in White Arrow’s direction, his vivid resentment prevented their eyes from meeting. She kept her face turned the other way, fiercely struggling to keep her tears in check. His behavior denied her the hope of ever seeing a friendly face again. Unable to reason out this abrupt change, Alisha merely accepted it as fact.

  The only words spoken were between the two men. Catching a familiar Sioux word here and there, she knew the conversation centered upon Gray Eagle’s defeat of Jeffery and his capture of her. Hearing those names so closely linked, she risked another glance at White Arrow.