With These Two Hands

by Lori Ryan

  Ben straightened and turned. “What the hell’s going on with Devlin? Is she okay? Are the babies okay?”

  Aaron wasn’t surprised Max hadn’t shared the news.

  “Yeah,” he said, “she’s fine, just normal stuff with the pregnancy.” Aaron didn’t want to say more. It was Devlin and Max’s story to share.

  “Oh, good. Shit man,” Ben wiped his forehead, “you scared the hell out of me.”

  Aaron turned to Doc. “I ordered the ultrasound machine we talked about.”

  “Aaron, we can’t afford it,” Doc said.

  “It’s all right, I found a state grant that funds almost all of it. And I talked to my colleagues in Chicago and we’re all pitching in. I ordered a used one from Northwestern. It’s in great condition. And I think Kayleigh can use it at the vet clinic too when she needs to. It’s portable.”

  He hadn’t told Kayleigh, but he’d been researching ways for her to save money at the clinic. And more importantly, ways for her to receive more money, in the way of grants. He knew she was already doing so much for free, but there were ways she could get reimbursed for that. He’d wanted to talk to her about it the other day, but his phone call had interrupted their conversation.

  “Hey, um…” Aaron kicked his shoe, not sure how to start this conversation. “I need to talk to you guys about something, but I’d appreciate it if it stayed between us. For right now anyway.”

  “This sounds serious,” Doc said. “Should we sit?”

  Aaron glanced at his brother.

  Ben stood up from the computer and stared at him, brows furrowed.

  “Yeah, maybe so.”

  Doc walked around his desk and sat in his worn leather chair, motioning to the two on the other side. Aaron and Ben both sat. The two men stared at him.

  Aaron clenched his hand to steady it, even though it wasn’t really trembling right now.

  “There’s a reason I came back to Canyon Creek. More than what I’ve told anyone.”

  “Well, no shit,” Ben said.

  Aaron glanced up and saw concern and fear in his brother’s eyes.

  “What’s going on, Aaron?” Doc Olson wasn’t quite as blunt as Ben.

  Aaron kept his eyes trained on Doc, knowing he would understand without tons of explanation. “I’ve been diagnosed with what they call benign essential tremor.”

  “Oh, my God,” Ben sucked in a breath, “is that cancer?”

  “No,” Doc answered for him.

  “Aaron?” Ben pushed.

  Aaron looked at his brother. “No, it’s not cancer. It just means I have a tremor in my hand that science has no explanation for.”

  “How bad is it?” Ben asked. “I haven’t seen it since you’ve been here.”

  “I worked hard so you wouldn’t.” Aaron stared at Doc. “You saw it.” It was a statement not a question.

  Doc nodded.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Wasn’t my place to pry,” Doc said. “You know that’s not my style.”

  “So what does that mean for you?” Ben said.

  “Short-term, it means I can’t perform surgery.”

  “And long-term?” Ben asked.

  Aaron stared at his brother, willing him to understand without having to say the words.

  Ben nodded once, as understanding dawned. “Fuck, man, I’m sorry.”

  The three sat in silence for several moments.

  “So does it get better? I mean are their meds or therapy or surgery or something?” Ben finally asked and Aaron almost wished he’d only told Doc for now. He wouldn’t have to answer so many questions.

  “There are meds, but they’re not working for me anymore,” he said. “My team can’t take the liability of me being in the operating room with an unsteady scalpel.”

  God, saying the words had his throat burning, making it hard to swallow. Aaron looked down, struggling to steady his breath.

  “How long has this been going on?” Ben asked.

  Aaron didn’t look up. “Since medical school.”

  A strong hand gripped his shoulder. “We’ll figure this out, bro.” Ben said. “There’s got to be something we can do.”

  Aaron appreciated the way his brother had inserted himself in the cure. He cut his eyes to Doc Olson. He was a medical professional, had seen more than his fair share of just about everything as a small-town doctor.

  Doc’s face remained passive. He wouldn’t placate Aaron with empty promises.

  “What are you going to do now?” Ben asked.

  “I’m not sure. The hospital wanted me to take six months off for rest and relaxation to see if it would help.”

  Ben laughed. “We’ve hardly let you rest and relax.”

  “Actually, it’s been great being back home, helping at the lodge, being with the family.” He glanced across the desk to his mentor and friend. “Working with Doc.”

  Doc smiled. “I’ve enjoyed it, too.”

  “You thinking about staying in Canyon Creek?” Ben asked.

  “I’m not sure. The hospital called me a few days ago. Offered me a non-surgical position.”

  “Are you going to take it?” Doc asked.

  Aaron leaned back in his chair and released a heavy sigh. He was almost ninety percent sure he wasn’t. “It would be torture, being so close to the specialty I loved and not being able to do rotations.”

  “True,” Ben said.

  “It all just feels like a huge failure.”

  Doc leaned over the desk, steepling his fingers and resting them under his chin. It was a classic gesture anytime he was about to impart words of wisdom, or a reprimand, when Aaron was younger.

  “Now why would you say it’s a failure?” Doc asked.

  “All I ever wanted to be was a heart surgeon.” Aaron said.

  Doc raised a brow. “Ever?”

  “Okay, maybe not ever.” Aaron nodded. When he’d left for college his intent had always been to return to Canyon Creek and practice there.

  “Is it the surgery you’ll miss or the title?” Doc Olson asked.

  Aaron stared, his face wrinkled. “I love the heart, it’s an amazing organ. I loved operating and saving people.”

  “You can save people in any branch of medicine, Aaron. You know that.”

  He did. He’d seen Doc Olson save many patients during his time volunteering during high school.

  “I’ve got to admit,” Ben said, “cardio thoracic surgeon does sound impressive. Is that what you’re going to miss the most?”

  Aaron shrugged. “Maybe.” Probably. “Not the only thing though. I just liked being the best. And I was the best.”

  “Conceited much?” Ben asked.

  “It’s the dreaded God Complex,” Doc said.

  “You know, when I came home after Dad’s funeral, I never thought I’d stay,” Ben said. “I loved my single life in Seattle, loved my business. But once I got here and remembered what it was like to live in a small town, I re-evaluated everything.”

  “Didn’t hurt that you had Maggie in your bed.” Aaron snorted.

  “True,” Ben nodded. “But rumor has it you have a little blonde-haired doctor in your own bed.”

  “Max,” he growled.

  Ben shook his head. “It wasn’t Max.”

  “Then who was it?”

  “Maggie.”

  “Who else knows?” Aaron sat up in his chair.

  “I don’t know, why?” Ben shrugged off Aaron’s alarm.

  “Kayleigh wanted to keep it low-key and under wraps. She didn’t want anyone to know,” Aaron said.

  “And you?” Ben asked.

  “You know how Ma is when she finds out any of us have feelings for a girl.”

  Ben looked smug. “So you do have feelings for Kayleigh?”

  “And this is one of the reasons I don’t want to live in a small town.” Aaron huffed. “Frigging rumor mills.”

  “Is there anything you do like in Canyon Creek?” Doc Olson asked.

 
; “Kayleigh,” Aaron said before he could stop himself.

  “Boy’s got it bad.” Doc laughed.

  Ben stood and slapped Doc’s outstretched hand.

  “Nothing wrong with staying for a woman,” Ben said.

  “I did.” Doc nodded.

  “Seriously?” Aaron studied his mentor. He’d never heard this story.

  “Yep. Bernie’s dad wouldn’t give his blessing to our marriage because he thought I would take her away. I was in town on vacation with my family.”

  “But you stayed?”

  “I finished med school, came back on breaks. But yeah, after I graduated I moved here. Canyon Creek needed a doctor, and I’d lost my heart to Bernie years before. The sad thing was, Bernie’s father passed away six months after we married.”

  Gone too soon. Just like his father, Aaron thought.

  “You liked to operate on hearts, Aaron,” Doc Olson said. “You’re damned good too, I know. It’s time you figured out what’s in your heart now. Cut it open and figure out what you love to do, where your passion lies. You’ll never go wrong when you follow your heart. In love and life.”

  A knock sounded on the door.

  “Come in,” Doc called out.

  Fiona poked her head in.

  “Hey, dear.”

  Worry lines wrinkled Fiona’s eyes and forehead. “Listen, we just got a call from the ranch. Izzie’s running a high fever.”

  “Again?” Doc and Aaron said in unison.

  “Yeah,” she nodded. “They’re bringing her in now. We’ll work her in.”

  “Thanks, Fiona, we’ll be right out.” Doc studied Aaron with an arched brow.

  “Yeah,” Aaron answered the silent question, “we’ll be there.”

  “Hey, Ben,” Doc said, standing and pointing to the computer, “you think you can get that contraption going? I’d like to talk to Dr. Stephenson. He’s an ENT I refer patients to in Denver sometimes. I’m pretty sure he’s linked up.”

  “If not, we can Face Time him,” Aaron said, pulling out his phone.

  Doc tugged a white jacket off the coat rack and handed it to Aaron. “Ready, doctor?” He smiled.

  Ben shook his head. “Still sounds weird.”

  Aaron laughed.

  “Super proud of you, bro.” Ben smiled. “We’ll figure it all out together, okay. You’re not alone in this.” Ben squeezed his shoulder and Aaron nodded.

  He wasn’t in this alone, and that would make all the difference.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Aaron sagged against the outside of the wedding barn. He’d never been groped more in his life. And some of the women at the book conference were older than his mother.

  He shuddered as he worked to forget the last hour of his life.

  “Pretty cool, huh?” Max said.

  Aaron stared at his brother like he was insane. “What part of any of that was cool?” he asked.

  “Oh, come on, when was the last time you got man-handled?” Max laughed. “Oh, wait, yeah, don’t answer. Kayleigh’s been man-handling you for a while, huh?”

  Devlin joined them and Max leaned down, kissing his fiancée full on the lips like he hadn’t seen her in a year instead of thirty minutes “We need to get you home, get your feet up.”

  “Several of the authors gave me their cards,” she said, pulling out a handful of business cards. “Said if you’re ever interested in modeling—”

  Max held up a hand. “Never. Ever.”

  “Only for me?” She lifted a shoulder as if innocent. Her swollen belly said she was anything but.

  “How are you feeling?” Aaron asked.

  Devlin’s hand grazed down her protruding belly. “Much better. Thank you so much for giving me a second opinion. I love my doctor, but it was reassuring to have someone else confirm things.”

  “Hopefully by your next check-up we’ll have our ultrasound here and Doc Olson can examine you.”

  Max scowled. “Well you’re sure the fuck not going to examine my wife.”

  Devlin giggled and shoved at Max. “I’m your fiancée, we’re not married.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” he growled, his eyes never leaving Aaron’s.

  “When are you two going to get married?” Aaron asked.

  “Oh, please, don’t get on that train ride.” Devlin rolled her eyes.

  Max glared at his petite fiancée. Aaron wondered how she was going to carry not one, but two offspring of an ex NFL football player.

  “She won’t marry me until after the babies are born,” Max said, his usual fun-loving smile gone.

  Aaron studied Devlin. She twisted her bag in her hand. “Why?”

  She remained silent.

  Max slipped an arm around her shoulders and tucked her protectively against his side. “She says she doesn’t want to look like a whale coming down the aisle.”

  Aaron shook his head. “You don’t look like a whale.”

  “I will,” she said, her head resting on Max’s shoulder.

  “You won’t.” Max kissed the top of her head. “We could both be naked if you want. Would that make you feel better?”

  She laughed and swatted his chest. “Let’s go home. I’m tired.”

  “And hungry?” he asked.

  “I’m always hungry. I’ve got two beasts inside me fighting for food. Hence the reason I look like a whale.”

  “May I say something?” Aaron asked, studying them both.

  Devlin nodded. “Sure.”

  “Life’s short, Devlin. One minute you see the way you want things to be, the next it changes in a heartbeat and you lose everything.”

  Max tilted his head. “What the hell does that mean?”

  Aaron shook his head. He had no idea where the hell that comment had come from.

  “That was about as uplifting as gonorrhea,” Max said. “Thanks, Oprah.”

  Devlin scooted close and took Aaron’s arm in hers. “Are you talking about your dad?”

  Sure, he’d go with that. “Partly,” he said.

  “You’re right, Aaron. It changes in the blink of an eye.” She reached up and kissed his cheek. “I’ll think about it.” Devlin butted up to Max, love shining in her caramel-colored eyes. “Come on, beast.” She held out a hand. “Take me home. Feed me.”

  As they walked away, Max’s head bent and he whispered in Devlin’s ear before kissing her head and tucking her in tighter.

  Aaron knew his brother would be doting on her all the way home. Everyone had told him Max had been waiting on Devlin hand and foot since finding out she was pregnant. Something he knew for a fact irritated Devlin. With the recent scare he also knew that Max would only become more protective.

  Despite Devlin’s uneasiness about getting married, Aaron had never seen him look happier. Love agreed with Max, with all his brothers actually.

  Aaron turned his attention to Kayleigh’s familiar voice coming out of the barn.

  She was talking to someone so he waited until she’d passed by him. He reached out and grabbed her wrist, yanking her toward him.

  She yipped. “What the—”

  “Don’t scream and I won’t hurt your books,” he said low in her ears as he took her plastic bag.

  “Hey,” she screeched, reaching for her books.

  He stepped out of her reach and opened the bag. There were at least ten books, all with similar covers to the one on her nightstand. “Shit girl, you got lots of mommy porn in here.”

  “What?” she said, snatching the bag and tucking it behind her.

  “You okay, Kayleigh?”

  Oh, hell, it was Doc’s wife, Mrs. Olson.

  “I’m fine Bernie,” Kayleigh said over her shoulder.

  Mrs. Olson rounded the corner and saw them standing close. “You looked very nice tonight, Dr. Sumner.” She winked at him.

  Aaron glanced down at his clothes. He’d forgotten they’d dressed him up in a tuxedo that was two sizes too small, the pants hitting him at the ankles. “Uh, thanks.”

 
Kayleigh held back a laugh.

  “You still need a ride home, Kayleigh?” Mrs. Olson asked.

  Aaron stepped around Kayleigh, who still clutched her bag of books. “Um, no,” he said, “I’m going to take her home.” Who wouldn’t want to take home a chick who’d just spent three hours inside a romance novel hot house?

  Mrs. Olson glanced around him. “Kayleigh?”

  Aaron watched as Kayleigh worried her lower lip. Shit, did she not want to go? Her lashes lifted and her blue eyes met his. He studied her intently, wondering what was going on in that beautiful mind of hers.

  She let out a deep breath as if she’d been trying to decide what to do. “Thanks Bernie but I guess I’ll let Dr. Sumner take me home.” She smiled up at him and his heart began to beat again. He hadn’t realized until that moment how much he wanted her. He’d just assumed the feeling was mutual. Maybe not.

  “Okay, well you two kids have fun,” Mrs. Olson said.

  “You too, Bernie,” Kayleigh said, waving.

  Mrs. Olson gripped her bag to her chest. “Oh, I will.”

  Oh, fuck, had she just waggled her brows? Aaron turned so she wouldn’t see him gag. Thinking of Doc Olson and his wife—

  Nope. He wasn’t going there.

  Kayleigh turned to face him. “So, to what do I owe this surprise chauffeur service?”

  He shrugged and reached out to wrap an arm around her waist but she pulled away, walking down the path to the lodge.

  “What’s going on with you?” he asked catching up to walk alongside her.

  She glanced up. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re pulling away.” Literally.

  She glanced over her shoulder. No one was behind them. “I thought we agreed to keep this under wraps.”

  Aaron surveyed the large acreage between the wedding barn and the lodge. Only a handful of people were around, none of whom he knew. She was right though, that was the promise, although now he wasn’t so sure he wanted to hide his feelings. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked quietly beside her.

  They walked into the lodge and wound their way around the small crowd of people inside.

  Emmett stood by the registration desk.

  “Everything okay?” Aaron asked his brother.

  “Yeah,” he said, “just a computer glitch. Ben has the night off so I’m trying to figure it out.”