by Susan Crosby
“Rick and I are going upstairs to the restaurant.”
“We just came from upstairs ourselves,” Donovan said.
“Early dinner?” Dixie asked.
“We met to discuss legal issues.”
Laura lifted her briefcase.
“Oh.” Dixie leaned over and pressed the up button again. “I’ll see you later, I guess.”
“Nice to meet you,” Laura said to the man. They got on the elevator. As the doors were shutting, Laura made eye contact with Dixie, who mouthed, “I’ll call you.”
Donovan shoved his hands in his pockets. “Looks like Dixie’s finally over Joe.”
“Or trying to be.”
Their mood turned somber as they left the hotel, not touching, not speaking, the thrill of the past few hours tempered by seeing Dixie out with another man after sixteen years of only seeing her with Joe.
“Are you going to tell your brother?” Laura asked.
“To what purpose? He’s already gone from fun-loving Joe to serious Joe, a stranger we hardly recognize. I don’t want to see him nose-dive further.”
“Maybe it would help him move on.”
“Possibly. And now that we’ve seen her out with someone else, maybe she’ll tell Joe, so that he can do the same,” Donovan said.
“I’m surprised he hasn’t. They broke up, what, about nine months ago?”
“Joe’s more complicated than he seems.”
It was Friday evening in downtown Sacramento. The streets and sidewalks were bustling. Soon the clubs would be jammed, music reverberating, the dance floors full. She hadn’t indulged in the club scene for a long time. Suddenly she wanted to break free of her quiet routine, to have fun, flirting with Donovan the whole time, teasing him, testing her own limits.
But he was a family man now, with responsibilities.
They reached her car in the huge, dark garage under her building.
“Where are you parked?” she asked.
He pointed to a brand-new silver SUV two cars away.
“You bought a car.”
“I picked it up this afternoon.”
So many questions came to her mind. She asked none of them. He would tell her when he’d made his decisions about his future if he thought she should know. But buying a car seemed to signal…something.
Laura opened her door and tossed her briefcase on the passenger seat. She slid the key in the ignition and then lowered the top. She loved her little red Miata, and since it was a warm evening and her hair was already down and messy, she decided to enjoy the night air.
Then it struck her. “Um, Donovan?”
He slid his hands around her waist. “What?”
“My hair’s a mess.”
His gaze drifted over her. “A sexy mess.”
“Dixie would notice something like that, and not just because she’s a hairdresser.”
“Meaning, she didn’t buy that we were upstairs hashing out some legal business?”
“Exactly.”
“What will you tell her?”
“I don’t know. But I’ll let you know, so you’re aware.”
“Okay.” He pulled her close. “No more wondering,” he said into her hair.
“No more wondering. And worth the wait.” She felt him relax into her, was surprised it even entered his mind that she wouldn’t have felt that way. He always came across as confident.
He kissed her, still tasting of strawberries and chocolate, neither of them having drunk much champagne because they would be driving home. She kissed him back, wishing it didn’t have to end.
“Always leave ’em wanting more, hmm?” he said finally, as if reading her mind, something they seemed to do with each other frequently.
She flattened her hands on his chest, could feel his heart thumping, steady and strong. “When will you move into Jake’s cabin?”
“Monday or Tuesday. It’s going to complicate things for us, isn’t it?”
She nodded. He couldn’t just walk from his mother’s house after Ethan fell asleep. “It’s going to take some planning.”
“Spontaneity is overrated.”
“Says the king of spontaneity,” she said with a smile.
“I’ve learned to adjust quickly.”
“Which is the definition of spontaneous, isn’t it? I’m a little more routine oriented.”
“I’ve noticed that,” he said, pulling her close for a final hug. “Will you consider it too chauvinistic if I follow you home?”
She slid into the car and started the engine. “See if you can keep up, newsman.”
He cupped his ears. “What’d you say? Keep it up? I think I’ve already proven that.”
“Show-off.”
“Lucky you,” he said, backing away. “I’ll call you.”
She zipped out of her parking space. Because she had a monthly pass instead of needing to stop and pay at the exit gate, she was on her way quickly, but he caught up with her before she got on the freeway. They played cat and mouse the whole trip home, each taking a turn getting ahead, then being behind, neither of them exceeding the speed limit by much. He let her exit first, then followed her home and waited as she parked in her garage. She waved before she shut the door.
Then she was alone. And already lonely.
Chapter Eleven
“C an I honk the horn, Dad?”
“That’s not how a gentleman calls on a lady.” Donovan put the car in Park and turned off the engine. He hadn’t called ahead to ask Laura if it was okay to stop by, but he and Ethan were taking their first drive together in the new car, and Ethan wanted to show it off to Laura. “In fact we should call first,” he said, pulling out his cell phone.
“She sees us! Hi, Laura!” Ethan unhooked his seat belt as Laura stepped outside. It was ten o’clock, but she was still wearing a robe, soft pink and midthigh length. Her hair was up in a big clip.
She stopped just outside her door. Her newspaper was a foot away. After a moment she picked it up, then waved in their direction.
“We got a new car!” Ethan shouted. “We came to take you for a ride.”
Even from a distance, Donovan saw her tense. He got out of the car and headed toward her, telling Ethan to stay put.
“Sorry,” he said quietly, when he reached her. “He’s excited. I was just going to call you, and then you opened the door.”
She looked incredible, her face makeup free, her hair less than perfect, her nipples pressing at the light fabric. He’d had dreams about her last night. Hot, erotic dreams based on reality now rather than fantasy. He knew what she looked like naked. Knew the sounds she made when she climaxed. Knew how her skin tasted, her own unique fragrance.
“As you can see, I’m not ready to go anywhere.”
“You slept in.”
She hesitated a beat. “I had a hard time getting to sleep.”
“Me, too. You should’ve called. We could’ve talked each other to sleep.”
“I hope I’m not that boring.”
“You’re—”
“Hey! What about me? I wanna talk, too,” Ethan called, leaning out the window.
“He sounds pitiful,” Laura said, smiling slightly. “Why don’t you let him out of his jail, Dad?”
Donovan whistled, then waved for him to join them. Ethan started to climb out the window. “Stop! Use the door, son.” He jogged over, reaching the car as Ethan slid to the running board, and then the sidewalk.
“It’s stuck.”
Because Donovan had the childproof lock on. He’d forgotten. “You need to wait until I open the door for you.”
“Why?” They headed back to see Laura. “I’m a good climber.”
“We’ll talk about it later,” he said as Ethan took off running and threw himself against Laura. Donovan wished he could do the same.
“Please,” Ethan was saying, dragging out the word.
“I haven’t gotten dressed or even had breakfast yet.”
“We can wait for you. I could go fo
r a swim.”
“No swim,” Donovan said, but otherwise stayed out of it. If Ethan could convince Laura to join them, Donovan would be happy.
“If you’re sure you don’t mind waiting,” Laura said as they all went inside. “Help yourself to anything you find in the kitchen. There’s fresh coffee, Donovan.”
He poured himself a mug, then a glass of orange juice for Ethan. They went into the backyard, Donovan taking the newspaper with him. He settled Ethan with the only toy in sight, a plastic car that must have been left after the party. Donovan glanced through the paper, something he hadn’t done much because the local edition left a lot to be desired. He generally got his news online, needing the broader scope. He’d written a few articles recently, stories he’d been able to gather by phone and Internet; plus, he’d been working on something else that could pay off, in time.
He set the paper aside and sipped his coffee, leaving Ethan to play on his own, something his son rarely did, always wanting company, usually not content to create any games for himself. Donovan had been the opposite as a kid, going off on his own a lot, eavesdropping on conversations in public places, creating stories in his head from what he heard. He loved his family, but he’d craved time alone, although obviously he couldn’t remember what he’d been like at age five.
Ethan never wanted to be alone, not even to play in Aggie’s family room, which was stuffed to the gills with toys and games. Donovan didn’t think his reluctance was only from the upheaval in his life, but a pattern. Anne had probably spent every nonsleeping minute with him. Who could blame her for that?
After a while, Laura emerged, looking cool and fresh in white shorts and a blue T-shirt. She was taking bites of a bagel smeared with cream cheese.
“Are we headed anywhere in particular?” she asked.
He stood, happy to see Ethan putting away the car without being asked. “We have boxes of our things to deliver to Jake’s cabin, and some of theirs to bring to the new house. Then we thought we’d head up the mountain a bit. That okay?”
“That’s fine.” They all piled in the car, Ethan chattering, Donovan totally aware of Laura. He could hear his pulse in his ears, his muscles tightening as memories assaulted him.
“Rides smooth,” she said a couple of minutes later, patting the console.
“Yeah,” he said, looking her over suggestively. “Best ride I’ve ever had.”
She raised her brows. “Best ever? That must be saying something.”
“Laura,” Ethan said. “I have my own DVD player. Wanna see?”
“What did we decide about the DVD, Ethan?” Donovan asked, glancing in the mirror long enough to see disappointment settle in his son’s eyes.
“Only if the trip is at least an hour long.”
“Tough dad,” Laura said under her breath.
“Building character.”
She laughed then. “Yeah, we’ll see who wins this battle.”
They pulled into Jake and Keri’s driveway and spotted another car parked near the little cabin nestled among oaks and pines.
“Dixie’s here,” Laura said, sitting up a little straighter.
“Son, you can go on ahead to the house, if you want. Laura and I will catch up in a minute.”
“Okay.”
Ethan raced across the open space. Dixie came onto the porch and waved at him.
“Are you going to talk to her?” Donovan asked Laura.
“Not here. I expect she’ll drop by.”
He put a hand over hers. “It was hard not kissing you this morning. And getting harder by the minute.”
“You’re still referring to kissing?” She wore that sexy smile he loved.
He remembered a moment last night when they’d been lying side by side, facing each other, not talking, and she’d looked like that—content, self-confident and showing a hint of power. Or maybe knowledge was a better word; the knowledge that she knew how much she affected him.
He ran a finger down her arm. “Remind me why we’re keeping this relationship secret.”
Her smile disappeared. “You know every reason, and if you’re thinking about ignoring them, this isn’t the time or place to discuss it.” She grabbed the door handle and climbed out.
He didn’t get it. What was wrong with him asking that? They had to be careful around Ethan, of course, but around others? Did it matter?
He watched her for a minute, noting her usually easy stride was stiff and rushed. She stopped as Dixie came down the stairs. They talked briefly before Laura continued up the stairs to the cabin and Dixie headed to her car, without a glance toward Donovan.
“Dix!” he called out, hurrying to join her.
She barely looked at him. “I need to pick up Nana Mae in ten minutes,” she said, hooking her purse straps over her shoulder, jangling her keys.
Like Joe, she’d gone from outgoing to restrained since they’d broken up this last time. The two of them used to be the life of whatever party they’d attended, but not anymore.
Was it grief? Were they mourning what they’d lost? Would they heal?
Donovan came up beside her. “I just want you to know that I understand your need to move on. You’ve been like a sister to me. I want you to be happy.”
She tossed her hair, looking like the Dixie of old. “You don’t know anything, Donny.”
Startled not just by the words but by the harsh tone in which they were delivered, Donovan clamped his jaw. “Feel free to explain.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. And I’m late.” She opened her car door.
“You need to tell Joe,” he said. “It’ll set him free, too.”
She closed her eyes for a few seconds. When she spoke again, her tone held more resignation than harshness. “Joe’s always been free. He made sure of it.” She got into the car, then looked up at him. “He’s just like you and Jake, you know. Except he never left home.”
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
He gave up, and headed back to his car. His gaze swept the area, the trees surrounding the property, the cabin set back into a grove. He’d been here uncounted times, yet he’d never noticed how dark it was, and right now it was almost noon in the middle of summer, as good as the light gets.
Jake came across the yard toward him, carrying a large box. “You look…confounded,” he said, using one of Nana Mae’s favorite words.
“The story of my life these days.” Donovan pulled his boxes from the back end of his SUV, opening up space for Jake’s to be added.
“I was surprised to see Laura with you and Ethan.”
“Ethan’s invitation.”
“Uh-huh. And you, as the adult, had no say in the matter.” Jake hefted a box, waiting for Donovan to do the same.
They walked side by side.
“Nothing to say?” Jake asked.
“Wait until Isabella can sweet-talk you. You’ll find it hard to deny her.”
“You know, I might’ve bought that if you hadn’t taken so much time to think about it.” Jake climbed the stairs.
Donovan followed him into the house, then kept going to the bedroom to stow his box of clothes. The house was so dark that lamps were turned on in every room. He remembered liking Jake’s cabin before—it’d felt like a man’s place. Which was probably the problem Keri was having with it, and why she wanted to move. It’d been a place for Jake to decompress after a tough security assignment, a job Jake no longer did. And it wasn’t a place for a family.
Ethan and I are a family.
He returned to the living room. Ethan was engrossed in a television program about fishing. Laura held a cooing Isabella.
“I’m thinking it’s a really good thing that Laura lives around the corner from us,” Keri said to Donovan. “Isabella had been crying for a half hour. Laura walks in? Instant calm. You’re free evenings and weekends, I hope, Laura?”
“Send up a smoke signal. I’ll be there.”
Donovan moved next to Laura and his tiny niece, whose forehead
he kissed, her baby scent mingling with Laura’s perfume. He straightened slowly, made eye contact with a very serious-looking Laura. She took a few steps back and turned away, making baby noises to Isabella.
Donovan picked up the last packed box from the porch and took it to his car. Jake had already taken care of the rest.
“Do you need these delivered right away?” Donovan asked his brother.
“I don’t think so. Why?”
“We’re going to take a drive, but I could go back to town and drop the boxes off first, if you want.”
“We’ve got plenty to do in the meantime.”
Donovan wished he could talk to Jake about what Dixie had said—that Joe was like them—but he couldn’t, not yet, anyway. He wanted to give her time to tell Joe she was dating.
“Everything going okay with Ethan?” Jake asked.
“He’s a good kid.”
“Are you feeling the connection?”
“Yeah, mostly. He misses his mom—and Millie, too. That makes me feel helpless.”
“How much do you think he’ll remember of Anne? He seems too young for much to have stuck.”
“I’m trying not to let his memory fade. I’ve been reading up on it, and I know it’s an uphill climb. But he’ll have photos and videos. That’ll help.”
They went back to the cabin, Donovan studying it with fresh eyes. Inside, he took one look at Laura and knew she’d rather not go for a ride. He also knew she wouldn’t renege, not because of him but because Ethan was expecting her to come along.
Suddenly the cabin became a metaphor for what his life had become in the past few years—dark and lonely. Was that what he wanted to bring Ethan into?
“I think we’re ready to go,” Donovan said.
Laura passed the baby to Keri. Ethan hopped up beside Laura and took her hand. His ease with her tweaked Donovan a little, since Ethan hadn’t yet showed much spontaneous physical affection with him. Donovan was very much looking forward to time alone together, to finding the closeness that Ethan had felt with Anne and Millie—and apparently already with Laura.
“Guess what, Laura?” Ethan said. “When I’m five, I’m going to take the training wheels off my bike.”
“You are? That’s only a couple weeks away.”
“I know. I’m very brave, you know. Mum always said so.” His face lost its glow in an instant. “She was sick a long time. I had to be brave.” His voice cracked, fading to a whisper.