Building the Nursery

by Amy DeMeritt

  “It means you were caught in the act of doing something wrong.” I search my pockets, looking for my phone, but I don’t have it on me. “Well, obviously, but why say, red handed?”

  “Does it really matter? We’re trying to…” I wave her off. “Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re trying to prove I’m a horrible person. We’ll come back to that. I need to know this.”

  I crawl over to the entertainment center and grab a tablet off of the charger. I lean over the tablet on my knees at the coffee table and type the search in with some difficulty because I’m really feeling the alcohol.

  “Wow, ok, don’t you ever fucking say that to me again. Damn, why do people say this to each other? It’s believed to have originated in Scotland in the fifteenth century and it was a reference to people caught with blood on their hands after a murder or poaching animals.”

  “Are you done being distracted now?”

  I keep scrolling on my screen, reading more about the history and transformation of this saying, but the tablet is suddenly ripped out from under me. I look up at Debbie and sit back on my heels.

  “Well, that was extremely rude.”

  “Have you ever kissed Jaime or Symone when it wasn’t for work?”

  “Do you ever think of anything else? You know, I’m starting to think you are a big pervert, Debbie.”

  There’s muffled snickering from around the room, but Debbie glares at me as anger and embarrassment makes her face bright red. I roll my eyes and rest my head on my upturned hand and exhale in annoyance.

  “Yes, I have, but my wives knew about it. Earlier this year, when Symone had to have an emergency appendectomy, I wanted to be there for her. I wanted her to have love and support while she healed. We had an agreement that while she was healing, I would be available to Symone however she needed me. Not sexually, obviously. So, for three days, I spent almost all of my time with Symone, and we spent some of that time making out.”

  “That was the only time?” My mouth feels dry, so I take a drink and my head really starts to feel it. I rest my head on my hand and rub my eyes. “Shit, this stuff is strong.” I lift the bottle to see what proof it is, but my eyes are unfocused, and I can’t read it. “Where did you get this stuff, Sara?”

  Sara reaches forward and takes the bottle and my half empty glass.

  “This is stronger than you’re used to. You shouldn’t have anymore.” I rub my eyes again and blink hard a few times. “Why is it blurry in here? Clean the windshield, will you?”

  “Shit. Kayla, are you ok?” Shannon grabs my face, turning me to look at her, making me smile really big. “Hey, baby. Where we going?”

  “We’re at home. You’re talking to my mom.” I rub my eyes again and look around at all of the blurry faces. “Looks like a washed-out oil painting. This is weird. What are we talking about?”

  “Aside from kissing Symone after her surgery, have you ever kissed them when it wasn’t for work?” I smile and kiss Shannon’s lips. “Baby, you know I have never done that. Well, I guess there was just now and that small one this morning when Sam got Symone and Jaime to kiss. I was just trying to make sure Jaime’s towel didn’t fall down, but she must have thought I was trying to kiss her. Were you surprised Sam kissed Symone like that? Wait, what did you say about your mom?”

  “You’re supposed to be having a talk with her.”

  Shannon turns my head to face Debbie. She shifts in my vision, and I get a little dizzy. I rest my head on my arms on the table and groan.

  “Oh, man, I don’t like that stuff. Damn firewater is no good. No good at all. My head does not feel right.” I slowly lift my head and take a deep breath. “Ok, what are we talking about?”

  “Are you in love with them?”

  “Them, who?” Debbie exhales hard and purses her lips. “Symone and Jaime.” I smile and lean forward some. “Yeah, they’re great. They feel good inside.”

  “Now, who’s being perverted? I don’t need to know…”

  “Whoa! Damn, what is with you? I have never had sex with Jaime and Symone. I was referring to their hearts and spirits.”

  “Are you still in love with your wives?”

  “Of course, I’m in love with my wives. I’m mad about them. Have you ever seen that glimmer that comes off of really hot asphalt in the summer? It’s like waves in the air. Have you ever seen that?”

  “Yes. What about it?”

  “Isn’t that awesome? Heat is supposed to be invisible, unless in a state of combustion, like fire. But the heat is radiating off the asphalt so strongly that it causes ripples in the air, making all of those microscopic particles of matter move just enough that you can actually see them with the naked eye. It’s an amazing phenomenon.”

  “What does that have to do with whether or not you love your wives?”

  “I don’t know, I was just thinking about it. But you know, love is like that. Love is this incredible phenomenon that seems simple on the surface, but the deeper you dig to fully understand it, the more complex it is. Like, ok, take the hot asphalt. You would think it’s just heat you’re seeing, right?”

  “I guess.” I smile and lean forward some. “Ok, but it’s not. You’re seeing the heat’s impact on particles of matter and them being disturbed. See what I mean? Amazing, isn’t it?”

  “So, what do you think love is?”

  “Love is everything good and positive. It’s the need to sacrifice personal comfort for another person. It’s the need to see someone else succeed and be happy. It’s the need to do something good for someone. It’s like that invisible heat – it’s this thing that radiates from you and seeks to impact everything around you, without being seen. Smart humans make it seen though, because love is so incredibly beautiful when its visible. And when its visible, it’s impact is greater on everything surrounding it.”

  “Have you ever cheated on your wives?”

  “No, and you know that. Everyone knows that. You know damn well what kind of person I am. So, why the hell do you treat me like this? Did you cheat on your husband? Is that why you’re so insistent that I’m like that?”

  Debbie looks down at her glass of whiskey in her hands and swishes it around, before taking a big gulp.

  “That was very revealing. Does he know?” Debbie takes a deep breath and narrows her eyes at me. “My lack of a response does not mean I cheated on my husband. This is not about me. I’m supposed to be asking you questions.”

  “Your questions are pointless, because the reasons for them have nothing to do with me. Your questions are a result of unresolved issues of your own. Why you have chosen me to outlet them on, I have no idea, but since we’re here and I’m drunk as hell, let it loose. What happened?”

  “Nothing happened. You are just trying to divert attention away from yourself.” I laugh and shake my head. “You are so exhausting when you get like this. Ok, since you won’t be honest, like me try to hypothesize on what happened, since you love doing that so much. You’re always accusing me of being unfaithful to my wives, even though you have no evidence that I have been. You probably view me as the male figure in this marriage, so it would be a reasonable assumption that either you have a terrible fear that your husband cheated on you, but you haven’t been able to prove your suspicions, or you did find your proof, but haven’t dealt with it, or just haven’t been able to get over it. Wait, I got that backwards. Stupid alcohol.”

  I rub my head and lay my head in my arms on the table. Everything is spinning. A hand rubs my back, making me jump. I look up to see Shannon next to me, with tears brimming in her eyelids.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?” Shannon tenses her jaw and shakes her head. “Come here.” She wraps her arms around me and kisses my lips, eyes, and forehead. “Finish, please.”

  “Finish, what?”

  “Your hypothesis.”

  She turns my face to look at her mom and a heavy weight fills my stomach, making the alcohol churn in a nauseating way. Debbie is staring at her now empty glass and her face is
red and blotchy.

  “I retract my first theory, because you have a habit of displacing your own insecurities and problems onto other people, trying to make them believe they have those particular problems, in order to avoid them in your own life, while attempting to have some kind of control over it.” I take a deep breath and smack my lips and tongue, seeking out moisture. “I’m really thirsty. Sara, give me my glass.”

  Sara hands me my glass and I take a few sips of the burning whiskey. I take a deep breath and Debbie slowly raises her gaze and meets my eyes. She has tears and pure regret and pain etched all over her face.

  “Does he know?”

  She nods once and looks back down at her glass. Shannon releases a small sob next to me and buries her face in my neck. I turn to face her and pull her in close and hold her while she cries.

  “Shannon, I’m sorry. I never wanted you to know. Kayla just had…” Shannon lifts her head, and spits out, “Don’t you dare try to pass any blame onto my wife! Don’t ever fucking say a bad thing about her ever again. All this time, you’ve been such a bitch to her, and all because you are the one who fucked up! When was it? How long did it last? Who was it?”

  “This isn’t the time or place.”

  “Answer the questions! My wife just allowed you to interrogate her in front of the entire family just to prove what everyone already knows. Now, it’s your turn.”

  “Shannon, I don’t think…”

  “Dad, stop. I’ve been dealing with so much bullshit from her for years. I deserve to know.”

  “It was your fathers friend, Chris. It started when you were starting college and it was on and off for about six years.” Shannon gasps and clutches my arm hard. “Six years! When did you find out about this?”

  Her dad looks completely broken. His eyes are bloodshot, with tears just sitting in the lids, waiting to fall down his cheeks.

  “Chris told me in January. We were at the bar talking about all of you and your mom’s craziness with Kayla, and he started acting weird. After several games of pool and several drinks, he told me. Your mother and I have been separated since, but we haven’t been able to figure out how to tell you.”

  “Dad, I’m so sorry.”

  Shannon gets up and everyone quickly moves so she can sit next to her dad and wrap her arms around him. Both of them break down crying. I look over at Debbie, who is still just staring at her empty glass. I try to stand up, but I’m unstable from too much alcohol and I fall back down. Sara quickly bends down, and offers me support, helping me stand. I sit down next to Debbie and try to take one of her hands, but she pulls back.

  “Debbie, I…”

  She suddenly turns and slaps me hard across the cheek. I fall a little bit to the side, but quickly recover. Debbie breaks down crying hard, and tries to strike me again, but I catch her hand.

  “Knock it off. I told you before, if you bring a fight to me, I’m going to finish it. You brought this upon yourself. Now, deal with it. Make it right.”

  “I can’t make this right.”

  “Everyone deserves a chance at forgiveness. Own up to what you’ve done, show remorse, and try to be supportive to your husband, however he needs you, even if he decides he wants a divorce. Stop trying to run from your problems and hide in the shadows. Look, you have a lot of work ahead of you in trying to heal your relationships with your family. But you know what’s great about love? It always finds a way to heal, no matter how bad the damage is. You know, I am really drunk right now, so I’m sorry if I’m rambling. Are you drunk? I hate feeling like this. I don’t know why anyone likes this.”

  I try to lean against the coffee table, but miss the table and start to fall over. Debbie catches me and helps me sit up straight.

  “No, I’m not drunk. Kayla, I’m sorry for everything. I’ve been so horrible to you.”

  “Yeah, you have. Can you stop spinning around? You’re making me really nauseous.”

  “Shit, come on, baby sister. Time to go hug the toilet.” Sara puts her arms around me and lifts me up. “I don’t want to hug a toilet. Do you know what goes in toilets?”

  “Try not to think about that till we get there.”

  Sara guides me out of the family room, but I stop and turn back, stumbling and almost falling.

  “Wait, my wife, she’s hurting.”

  Shannon lifts her head off of her dad’s chest, kisses his cheek, and stands up to walk over to me. She wipes her eyes, and offers me support on my other side.

  “Come on, sweetie.”

  Shannon and Sara help me get to the bathroom and I sit against the wall next to the toilet. Sara hands me a cup of water, and leans against the vanity across from me.

  “I feel sick. Why do I feel sick?”

  “That whiskey is twice as strong as you’ve ever had. I’m sorry, I didn’t notice which bottle you picked up. You’re not as loopy as you normally are though.”

  “I think I was a little too focused. Shannon, I’m sorry that happened like that.” Shannon sits down next to me and kisses my lips. “It’s not your fault. It’s good that it finally came out. I actually never would have guessed my mom could do something like that. I feel like I don’t even know her anymore.”

  “I hope that… Oh, no…” I quickly sit forward and acidic burning lava pours out of my mouth. Shannon pulls my hair back and puts it up in a ponytail for me. “Oh, god, that’s way worse coming back up. Oh, that fucking hurts.”

  I gargle and spit the water several times. Just as I’m about to sit back against the wall, another wave hits me. It’s not till I’ve completely emptied my stomach and I’m dry heaving that I can finally get my stomach to settle. My whole body is shaking and I’m weak and drained. I lay my head on Shannon’s lap and she runs her fingers through my hair and up and down my arm, tracing gentle strokes over my skin.

  “I’m sorry, Kayla. I love you so much.”

  “I love you too. Why am I freezing?”

  “Alcohol lowers your body temperature. You need to try to eat something. It will help.”

  Shannon and Sara help me stand up and support me while I rinse my mouth. I’m really shaky on my feet and feel like I’ve been beat up.

  “I feel like shit.”

  “I know, sweetie. Sit here. I’ll make you something to eat.”

  Shannon guides me into a chair at the dining room table, and I lay my head down in my arms, closing my eyes. Two hands grip my shoulders and start massaging them. I look up and smile really big. Jaime bends down and kisses my cheek with a beautiful glimmer in her golden eyes.

  “That feels really good.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Like hell.”

  All of my wives and Symone sit down around me at the table, and Shannon sets a sandwich down in front of me. The rest of the squad comes in, kicking some of my wives out of their chairs, encouraging them to sit in each other’s laps so everyone can fit at the table with us.

  “What’s going on in there?”

  “The parents are in a big counseling session. It’s very intense. Kayla, that was really impressive. How did you do that?” I look at Keira for a moment, before looking at Madison and smiling. “I study with my wives when I can. Madison and Sam read their textbooks to us in bed a lot because it helps them remember it better to read out loud.”

  “How romantic.” I laugh and smile really big. “Isn’t it? It’s really hot listening to them be super smart. Oh, right there.”

  Jaime presses her thumbs in deeper in my shoulders. My eyes close as I lean forward on my arms, opening my shoulders to her more.

  “You are really tense.”

  “I just sat through an interrogation and shot lava out of my face. Yeah, I’m pretty tense. Thanks for this.”

  “You’re welcome. You should eat.”

  “Ok, come here. I’m cold.”

  I pull Jaime around to sit on my lap and wrap my arms around her waist, laying my head on her shoulder. My body temperature seems to almost instantly increase w
ith her in my arms, which helps to lessen my feeling of flu-like symptoms. I kiss her shoulder, before pulling back enough that I can pick up my sandwich, while still keeping an arm wrapped around her.

  “Do you wish you had gone to work today?” Jaime shifts in my lap to sit side saddle so she can look at me and drapes an arm around my shoulders. “No, I’m glad I stayed. Please eat; you’re shaking.”

  Jaime places my plate on her lap and hands me half of the turkey club sandwich Shannon made for me. The sandwich is delicious, but my throat and stomach are so raw that I have to eat slowly. After only half of the sandwich, my throat and chest burn painfully. I clutch my chest and wince in pain, leaning my head on Jaime’s shoulder.

  “Kayla, what’s wrong?”

  “Heartburn. Really bad. Oh, fuck, it hurts.”

  “I’ll get you something for it.” Shannon stands up, followed by Awenasa. Jaime moves the plate off of her lap and pushes me up straight. “You have to stay sitting up, or it will push it up more.”

  She rubs the top of my chest, and even though my insides are in agony, her soothing touch feels really nice.

  “Here, drink this. It’s magnesium and will help to push the acid down. Shannon is making you a tea to coat your stomach to keep the acid from coming back.”

  Awenasa hands me a shot glass of white chalky water. I quickly swish it back, and instant searing pain shoots up my chest, up my neck, and into my jaw and ears. I slam the glass down on the table, wincing and whimpering in pain. Jaime wraps her arms around me, and rubs my back while she holds me on her chest. It takes a few minutes of horrible pain before it recedes. I slowly lift my head and take a deep breath.

  “I have never had heartburn like that. How do you drink that shit, Sara?”

  “I don’t drink that straight. We bought that bottle for mixed drinks. That stuff is one-hundred and ten-proof, so it’s extremely harsh on the stomach when you drink it straight. It’s worse for you because you don’t drink.”

  “I just realized something. Holy shit, my curse is broken!” I shoot my arms in the air, and shout, “Yes!” Everyone looks at me confused, and I just laugh a little as the realization floods me with excitement. “It’s been over a year since I needed stitches.”