Life After Love

by K. G. MacGregor

  Bea was surprised to hear Allyn speak in such a starkly personal manner. If she’d been holding all her old friends at arm’s length to avoid word getting back to Melody, this might be the first time she’d talked about her feelings with anyone.

  “The worst part isn’t even that she left. It’s how cold she’s been about everything. I just don’t see how a person who promised she’d love me till she died could suddenly treat me like I didn’t even exist. It’s like I was hit by a truck and lying in the road, and she stepped right over me. All I wanted was one small acknowledgment that she cared whether I lived or died, and I got nothing. No calls, no emails. Not even a text on my birthday.”

  “When was your birthday?”

  “Eight days ago.”

  “Let’s celebrate now. I’ll buy you a beer.”

  Allyn shook her head. “Drinking’s about the worst thing I can do. I’d just get depressed, and the next thing you know I’d be calling her and making a fool of myself again.”

  Again . Guess she’d done that before. “Allyn, have you talked to anybody about how you’re feeling? I’m not trying to stick my nose in your business, but it’s hard not to notice that you’ve lost a lot of weight. Too much if you ask me, and you just gave most of your lunch to Dexter. I’m worried you’re not taking care of yourself.”

  “I’m fine. I just want my life back.”

  Bea hated to be the bearer of bad news, but she was pretty sure that old life wasn’t coming back. “Are you sure that’s what you want? Even if in your heart you really want to forgive her, you’ll always know what she did. Could you honestly take her back without constantly wanting to check her phone and email to make sure she wasn’t cheating on you? What about the first time she tells you she has to travel for work? Anyone who would do something like that once could do it again. The woman treated you like shit. She doesn’t deserve you.”

  Allyn wiped a tear away before turning all of her attention toward Dexter.

  “Look, I know you didn’t ask my opinion,” Bea went on, “and it’s easy for people like me to sit on the outside and act like the voice of authority. It’s just that I got the feeling from the way you’ve been talking that you already realize you can’t trust her again and maybe you needed somebody to tell you it was okay to feel that way.”

  “I would trust her again if she asked me to…if I thought she was really sincere.”

  Bea didn’t believe that for a minute, but she had to respect that Allyn did. They didn’t call it “clinging to hope” for nothing.

  “I appreciate you listening,” Allyn said. “It’s true I haven’t really talked to anybody about how I was feeling. Certainly not any of our old friends.”

  “What about your family?”

  “Oh, hell no. My parents live in Centralia. I called about a month after we filed the papers and my mom said not to make such a big deal out of it, it wasn’t a real marriage anyway.”

  “Oh, God. I think we might be related,” Bea said with a chuckle. “The only way my folks can accept me as a lesbian is if I don’t act on it. It’s a church thing.”

  “With my mother, it’s an ignorance thing. Willful ignorance.”

  The crowd began to disperse, a signal the water show was over. Allyn held Dexter’s leash while Bea rolled up the blanket.

  “They’re doing Shakespeare at two o’clock. A Midsummer Night’s Dream . Should we make our way over to the stage?”

  Allyn had already started walking in the direction of the car. “Would it be okay if we called it a day? I’m getting kind of tired.”

  It was true they’d walked a lot, and Allyn had held onto Dexter much of the day. Still, it was hard not to think her readiness to leave was related to their depressing discussion of Melody.

  “I’m sorry if I bummed you out, Allyn. Sometimes my mouth runs a little faster than my brain. I probably came off as insensitive. If you feel like talking some more, we can find a place to relax. I can even drop Dexter off at home if you want to go somewhere and grab a coffee…whatever you want.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but I really am tired. I’m not used to spending a whole day on my feet.”

  “You’re sure it wasn’t anything I said.”

  “Not at all. To be honest it felt good to have somebody listen. It may not seem like it but I’ve all but given up on Melody coming back. The problem is knowing it and accepting it are two different things. And you’re right—even if she did come back, I’d never be able to trust her completely.”

  During the ride back to the apartment, Allyn sat twisted in her seat so she could feed Dexter pieces of kibble. It was a good strategy for avoiding conversation, Bea thought, but she didn’t want this to be their only day out.

  “I don’t suppose you play softball.”

  Allyn tilted her head pensively. “That’s the game with the stick, right? No, wait. It’s called a bat.”

  Bea laughed. “I take it that’s a no. Too bad. We have a ragtag team in the Wednesday night recreation league. Kit’s the coach. Our season’s almost over, but I was hoping you’d come along and hold a glove out in right field. Otherwise we might have to forfeit this week because four of our players are on vacation.”

  “Right field? I played first base in high school.” She held up her left hand. “That’s where they put the southpaws.”

  “Are you kidding me? Can you hit?”

  “Maybe…if I can remember which end of the stick to hold.”

  “Please tell me that means you’ll come. Six fifteen at the Ballard Playground. Your old stomping grounds. I’d pick you up but I’m at the store till six. I barely have time to get there.”

  “I don’t have a mitt.”

  “We can fix that. I’ll ask around for a lefty.” In her head, she was already planning a trip to the sporting goods store, whatever it took to get Allyn on the team. “This is going to be so cool.”

  “I can’t believe I’m letting you talk me into this. I haven’t played in fifteen years.”

  “No pressure. We play for fun, and we usually go out for burgers afterward.”

  “I don’t know about that part,” Allyn said. “I’ll probably need to come home and soak in the tub.”

  Bea pulled into the parking lot at the apartment complex. “Thanks for coming with me today. I had a good time. So did Dexter. He really likes you.”

  “I like him too.”

  Kit’s voice was in her ear again, mocking her about going in for a goodbye kiss. Allyn wasn’t a romantic interest. She was a woman coming off a tough breakup who needed a friend.

  “Hey, Allyn?” She reached out and clasped the slender wrist as Allyn was exiting the car. “I hope this means we’re going to be friends. I’d like that a lot.”

  “Sure.” Her face began to turn red. “You know I’m not…”

  “Same here.” She held out her fist for a bump. “Friends.”

  Chapter Seven

  It was nice to see the celebratory camaraderie of the softball dugout hadn’t changed in all these years. When it came to sports, grown women still behaved like excited teenagers, and from the moment she arrived, Allyn was made to feel one of the gang.

  “I still can’t believe I said yes to this,” she muttered playfully as she slipped the dark green T-shirt over her white one. She’d spent every spare moment of the last three days working out in the fitness room of her apartment complex so as not to make an utter fool of herself, and now the muscles in her thighs screamed every time she moved.

  “You did,” Bea said, “and you’re totally rocking that shirt, if I must say so myself. Did you happen to notice that lovely Pak & Ship logo?”

  “I’m a walking billboard.”

  “That’s right. No pressure though. You don’t have to feel embarrassed if you drop a ball or strike out while wearing a shirt with the name of my business on it.”

  “Your confidence is gratifying,” Allyn said dryly.

  “Our record is two and six. We lose a lot, but nobody really care
s as long as we have fun.” Bea lowered her voice. “Except Kit yells at us every single game to take our heads out of our asses. Don’t take it personally. She’s just frustrated because Marta won’t let her play anymore. Bad shoulder from carrying that mail pouch.”

  Though everyone welcomed her, Kit acted the most enthused about having her on the team. She’d been all smiles, and repeatedly slapped Bea on the back for bringing her along.

  “Oh, and by the way. See that woman in the bleachers wearing the shirt like ours? Red hair and glasses? That’s Kit’s wife, Marta. She’s half-saint, half spitfire. You’ll meet her after the game at JoJo’s.”

  Their opponent was Hawthorne Medical Supply. The name was familiar but Allyn couldn’t place it. It was possible they’d contacted her for potential IT hires, someone to secure their customer network. She’d look it up when she got home.

  When Pak & Ship took the field, Allyn warmed up by tossing grounders to the infield and getting a feel for how everyone threw. It was impressive how much zip Bea put on the ball from third base, and while their stated objective was to have fun, it was clear this team was more competitive than their record let on.

  The first two outs came quickly in the form of a pop fly to shallow center and a line drive back to the pitcher. The third batter was caught looking at strike three.

  “Nothing to this game,” she said to Bea when they reached the dugout.

  Since she was last in the batting order, she went all the way to the end of the bench to cheer on her teammates. Kit had a rule against swinging at the first pitch to put more pressure on the pitcher, but they squandered a base on balls with a double-play grounder and ended their half of the inning with a long out to left.

  It was like that for three more innings until Hawthorne threatened to break it open with a two-out double. Needing just one more out, Pak & Ship intentionally walked the next batter to get a force on every bag.

  “Allyn Teague!”

  She was shocked to hear her name, and even more disturbed to realize the base runner was Jillian, Melody’s friend. With her hair pulled back through her cap, Allyn hadn’t recognized her earlier at the plate.

  “Wow, look how much weight you’ve lost. I hardly recognized you.”

  “I’ve been on a fitness kick,” Allyn answered gruffly, not taking her eye off the batter. Was Jillian stupid enough to think helping Melody hide her infidelity would have no effect on their friendship?

  “How have you been?”

  Allyn was saved from answering by a sharply hit grounder to her right, which she fielded and tossed to second to get Jillian out. By the time she got back to the dugout, she felt as if she might throw up.

  “Great play!” Bea said, slapping Allyn’s thigh with her glove. “You got us out of a jam. Now we need to get some hits.”

  “This was stupid. I shouldn’t have come.”

  “What’s the matter?”

  “That woman playing third base, the one we just walked.” Allyn nodded across the field. “I didn’t realize it until I saw her up close. That’s Jillian Rosenfeld. She’s Melody’s friend, the one who helped her cheat on me.”

  Bea followed her gaze with a sneer. “Gotcha. So how do you want to handle this? I can try to smack one down the line…right about shin level. That’s where I get the most bruises.”

  “What I’d really like to do is leave. I know I can’t because we’d forfeit, but since you asked, that’s how I’d handle it if I could. I bet she’ll go straight home and call Melody to tell her she saw me.”

  “What’s wrong with that? You’re out here having fun with a great bunch of women.”

  There were many things wrong with it. She’d hoped never to see any of Melody’s conniving friends again. She didn’t want details of her life to find their way to Tucson, and she damn sure didn’t want Melody thinking she was off the hook for causing so much pain now that Allyn was obviously enjoying herself again and making new friends. Anyone who could be that cruel didn’t deserve a clear conscience.

  “You can leave if you really want to. They’ll let us play with nine.” Bea started tossing up a ball so that it fell gently into her glove. “Of course, then she’d probably tell Melody she ran you off.”

  “No fucking way. I’m not giving her that kind of power over me.”

  “Damn right you’re not.”

  Kit clapped her hands twice. “Let’s go, Bea! You’re on deck.”

  As promised, Bea hammered one down the line. Jillian jumped out of its path rather than risk injury and endured a fair bit of teasing from her teammates as a result.

  Allyn was delighted to see that Bea had her back and was willing to go out there and exact revenge on her behalf. For as long as she could remember, it was Melody who stood up for her, who gave her a lift when things weren’t going her way. It was only now she realized no one had been on her side for a very long time.

  When the inning died with Bea stranded on second, Allyn grabbed both gloves and carried them out to the field. “Thanks. I owe you one.”

  “I missed. Maybe I’ll get another shot if we go extra innings.”

  They reached the last inning in a scoreless tie and Allyn came to the plate with one out and nobody on base. Her line drive sailed up the middle for a base hit, and when the center fielder bobbled the ball, she raced for second.

  “Tag up on a fly ball,” Kit yelled from her coaching box at third base.

  If she did that, she’d end up on third where she’d have to endure more small talk from Jillian. She’d rather see Caroline strike out.

  Instead she hit the second pitch high in the air to center field. With her heel on the bag, Allyn watched Kit for the signal to run. It came the instant she heard the ball hit the fielder’s glove, and she raced to third as fast as her feet would go.

  Kit was on her knee pointing at the ground. “Get down!”

  No way was Allyn going to slide. Pouring it on, she touched the corner of the bag on a wide turn and dug hard for home.

  “No!”

  It was too late to stop. Bea, who’d been in the on-deck circle, scurried to move the bat out of the way, her eyes wide and mouth agape. Then she broke into a smile and began jumping up and down.

  The catcher had hustled down the line to back up the throw to third, leaving home plate uncovered. Allyn crossed with ease.

  Their teammates poured out of the dugout for a celebration on the field, and Allyn let herself get swept up in the excitement. They didn’t have to know she’d only run for home so she wouldn’t be trapped on third with Jillian.

  “Hey, you!” Kit stormed over to the huddle and glared at her menacingly…before bursting into a grin. “Remind me to go over the hand signals with you before our next game.”

  Bea chucked Kit on the shoulder. “I’m pretty sure I saw her give you a hand signal when she ran by.”

  *

  “I wish I’d had a camera. The look on that third baseman’s face was priceless.” The observation came from Marta, who seemed as happy as Kit about having Allyn join their team. Bea suspected they were reading more into her friendship with Allyn than they should.

  The after-parties were as much fun as the game itself, especially on those rare occasions when they won. JoJo’s, a Ballard sports bar, was their favorite postgame hangout, and tonight they had the outdoor seating on the patio all to themselves.

  They would relive today’s epic finish for years to come, but as far as Bea was concerned, the highlight was seeing Allyn humiliate Melody’s friend. She doubted seriously Jillian would be sharing that part on her call to Tucson, but Allyn was probably right that she’d update Melody on everything else.

  Kit pounded her beer mug on the table and shook her finger, a typical over-the-top display that was all for show. “Who runs for home when the base coach is yelling like a banshee for you to get down? What the hell were you thinking?”

  “You mean right at that moment?” Allyn sipped her lemonade and looked about with feigned innocence. “I was th
inking you were crazy if you thought I was going to slide. I haven’t played this game since high school and I didn’t want my first time back to end in the emergency room.”

  “Besides,” Bea interjected, “the throw beat her there. If she’d slid, she probably would have been out. It was genius.”

  Kit threw up her hands. “I know. I’m only mad because I didn’t think of it.”

  “It wouldn’t have worked. If you’d been waving me around, their pitcher would have run over to cover home.”

  Bea raised her mug in a toast. “To Allyn, who outfoxed everybody, including our coach.”

  She was glad and even a little surprised when Allyn agreed to join them at the sports bar. After her near meltdown on the field over seeing Melody’s friend, Bea was sure she’d hightail it out of there, probably never to be seen again. Instead she’d faced down a demon and won.

  Allyn pushed her chair back and stood. “On that note, I need to get home. I have a call tomorrow morning at six a.m.”

  “Why so early?” Marta asked.

  “I start most days like that. The guy I need to talk to is in Raleigh, so it’s already nine o’clock in his office. He doesn’t care what time it is out here.”

  “I’ll walk you out,” Bea said, resting her hand on Allyn’s shoulder. “I’m really glad you came. In case you haven’t figured it out, so is everybody else. We’ve only got two more games this season, but we’d sure like to have you back.”

  “Wouldn’t want to waste my brand-new mitt.” Allyn paused before getting into her car. “I appreciate you going to bat for me—pun intended. I had no idea you were serious about smacking her on the shins.”

  “What can I say? I just went with the inside pitch.” With a wink, she added, “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”

  The party had broken up by the time she returned to the patio, leaving only Kit and Marta at a long table of empty plates, mugs and pitchers. Bea knew the two of them well enough to expect the third degree.

  “Can’t wait to hear this story.”

  “Don’t even start. It’s not what you think. We’re just friends.”