Just Making Out

by Mark Roeder

  Jacob closed in on me, stepping right through my bed. I backed away, but it was no good. There was no stopping him. In moments my back was against the wall. I shivered from the chill air. It might have been my imagination, but the air felt less chill than before. Still, there was an unpleasant nip in the air.

  My breath came hard and fast, and I fought back a scream. Maybe I should’ve screamed, but I didn’t want to explain to my parents why I was screaming. Besides, I didn’t think it would do much good. What could anyone do against a ghost?

  Jacob grasped my chin and made me look him in the eyes. I struggled against him, but he was strong for a dead boy. I had a momentary fear he was a vampire and not a ghost at all, but I reminded myself that this was reality.

  Jacob didn’t look purplish-blue anymore. He didn’t look alive, but he wasn’t zombie-scary dead looking, either. He took his hand away from my chin, and I kept looking at him. I couldn’t stop gazing at him, but I wasn’t sure if it was because I physically couldn’t look away or just didn’t want to. Jacob was extremely handsome now that he wasn’t all purple. He was better looking than he was in that old team photo in the gym. If he was alive and I wasn’t dating Tim, I could have gone for him. Those were two huge points, however. I was dating Tim, and Jacob was dead!

  My body didn’t share my opinion. It reacted to Jacob again. Jacob pulled the sheet away, revealing my naked body. He ran both hands over my bare chest. I became increasingly aroused. This was sick! I was turned on by a dead boy!

  “I’m going to make you mine,” Jacob whispered, and then he disappeared.

  Shit!

  I ran for my bed, jumped in, and pulled the covers up over my head. He’d spoken to me! He’d never done that before! His words disturbed me. What did he mean he was going to make me his? That wasn’t possible, and it was wrong on so many levels.

  I feared Jacob would come back during the night. He’d never appeared twice in one night before, but I felt as if anything could happen now. I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t. I kept waiting to feel Jacob pulling back the covers or groping me through the sheets. I eventually did fall asleep, but I wasn’t well-rested when I awakened the next morning.

  ***

  I pulled Tim to the side the moment I spotted him the next morning.

  “Jacob came back last night,” I said. “He spoke to me!”

  Tim’s eyes widened.

  “What did he say?”

  “That’s the truly scary part. He said, ‘I’m going to make you mine.’ I’m really scared now, Tim.”

  “I’ll come stay with you tonight.”

  “Yeah, like my parents would go for that! If they’d caught you sleeping with me the other night, it would not have been pretty.”

  “Maybe if you explain.”

  “You want me to tell my parents a dead boy is after me? They’d probably send me off to a shrink.”

  “They might understand.”

  “No, they’ll think I’m having emotional problems because of everything that happened with Boothe.”

  “You could show them the coin.”

  “They wouldn’t believe me.”

  “It’s not as if you lie to them a lot, Dane.”

  “I know, but they’re not going to believe I’m being haunted. If I show them that coin, they’ll just think I’m delusional. They’ll think I found the coin somewhere and have built up the whole ghost thing in my mind. I can almost hear them telling me they believe that I believe I’m being haunted. That will be minutes before they have me taken away.”

  “Dane, your parents would never have you taken away.”

  “You know what I mean. They’ll try to help me by sending me to a shrink, and I’ll be bombarded with questions by someone who is sure I’ve been hallucinating. Think about it, Tim. I wouldn’t even be sure I wasn’t nuts if it wasn’t for that coin.”

  “I’m not sure how to help you, but I’ll do anything I can,” Tim said.

  “I know.” I smiled. “Just having you in my life helps more than I can express.”

  Tim hugged me.

  “We’d better get to class,” I said. “I don’t think being haunted by a dead football player will fly as an excuse for being tardy.”

  “At least it would be original,” Tim said.

  Tim could always make me smile.

  I really wanted to kill Boothe. It was bad enough when he stuck me with a ghost that showed up to scare the crap out of me, but now the ghost wanted me. Had Boothe known that would happen? I’m sure he didn’t care if it did. Boothe only cared about one person: Boothe.

  I didn’t exactly know what “I’m going to make you mine” meant, but it couldn’t be good. There was a time when I wished a jock would want to make me his, but this is not what I had in mind! For one thing, I had definitely meant a jock who was alive! This was just too messed up.

  My past had really come back to bite me in the ass. If I hadn’t run away, come to Verona, and been forced by circumstance to work for Boothe, I would never have met him. If I hadn’t met him, he couldn’t have stuck me with a ghost, and I’d be able to sleep or take a shower without worrying some dead dude was going to molest me. Of course, then I would never have met Shawn, which means I would never have met Tim. I wouldn’t be living in Verona with my parents, either. We would still have moved from Marmont probably, but chances are we’d be somewhere else. As much as Jacob freaked me out, Tim was worth it. I’d suffer anything to be with him.

  Despite the fact I’d eaten an extra-large breakfast, I was starved by the time lunch rolled around. I took everything I could get when I went through the line: fish sticks, coleslaw, French fries, green beans, and orange Jell-O.

  “Dane has finally lost his mind,” Brandon said as I sat down.

  “Huh?” I asked.

  “You got the fish sticks? Are you crazy?”

  “They’re good,” I said.

  “There’s no accounting for taste,” Brandon said. “Well, look who he’s dating.”

  “Hey!” Tim said.

  “I was just seeing if you were paying attention, although Dane could do better. He could date a soccer player.”

  “That sounds like an offer. Finally getting around to kicking for the other team, huh, Brandon?” Jon said.

  “That’s bat for the other team, dumb ass,” Brandon said.

  “I didn’t want to mix sports. We were talking soccer.”

  “I wasn’t talking about me,” Brandon said.

  “Sure you weren’t. Admit it, you’re hot for Dane.”

  “No offense, Dane, but if I was going to get it on with a guy, which I’m not, you would not be my first choice.”

  “He’d pick me,” Marc said.

  “Don’t flatter yourself,” Brandon said.

  “Come on, Brandon. I’ve seen you check me out in the showers. You can’t keep your eyes off my hot ass,” Marc said.

  “Oh, this is getting good,” Casey said.

  “You wish,” Brandon said to Marc. “You should talk, Mr. Roving Eyes.”

  “Like you wouldn’t look around if you were in the girls’ showers,” said Marc.

  “Don’t go there,” Jon said. “He’ll start drooling.”

  “Actually, Marc would be a good match for Dane,” Brandon said.

  “Excuse me,” Tim said. “Dane’s boyfriend is sitting right here.”

  “Jacob’s here?” Brandon asked, looking around as if he expected him to walk up.

  The mention of Jacob made me uncomfortable, but I tried not to show it.

  “I think Dane and Tim make a great couple,” Marc said.

  “Thank you,” Tim said.

  “So, why don’t you have a boyfriend, Marc?” Jon asked. “I thought you and Shawn were going to be an item there for a while.”

  Shawn looked slightly uncomfortable for a moment, but then he took Tristan’s hand and squeezed it. They smiled at each other.

  “Tie myself down with just one guy? Are you insane?” Marc asked.

&nbs
p; “I like the way you think,” Brandon said.

  “You’d better not let Jennifer hear you say that,” Jon warned.

  “I don’t see you and Jennifer together much,” Nathan said.

  “Yeah, you’re always hanging out with Jon instead,” Brendan pointed out.

  “She has her life, and I have mine. We see each other plenty, and when we do…mmm.”

  “Spare us the heterosexual details,” Marc said.

  “Yeah, gross,” Casper said and grinned.

  “I should give you the details just to make you all squirm.”

  “How would hearing about Jennifer rejecting you make them squirm?” Jon asked.

  “Good one, Jon,” Casper said.

  “Listen, Deerfield, just because you’ll die a virgin doesn’t mean I will. I’ve already taken care of that.”

  “Masturbation doesn’t count, Hanson,” Jon said.

  Brandon and Jon were a welcome distraction. I was still edgy, although I felt a good deal better at school than I did at home. Tim’s presence was comforting. He made me feel as if I could endure anything—even Jacob.

  “Hey, can you come over for supper tonight?” Tim asked as we walked toward our lockers after lunch. “Tristan is coming over, and Shawn thought it would be cool if you could come, too. It can be a double date.”

  “Yeah, I’d like that. I don’t really want to spend the evening at home. I’m afraid you-know-who will drop in. I’m sure Mom and Dad will let me come.”

  “Great, I’ll tell Shawn you’ll be there. He said supper will be at six. It might be a bit later, but you can come over any time. The sooner the better! Shawn doesn’t have to work, so he’ll be around, but hopefully we can find some alone time. See you later, stud puppy.”

  Tim kissed me on the cheek and disappeared. Stud puppy. He’d never called me that before. I liked it.

  It might not seem like a big thing, but I was really looking forward to supper at Tim’s place. I loved spending time with friends and, of course, my boyfriend. Shawn meant a lot to me, and I really liked Tristan, too. I was sexually revved up, but I was looking forward to time with Tim, whether or not we had sex. I loved that boy!

  I hurried home and hit the books so I could finish up before going over to Tim’s. Keeping busy kept my mind off Jacob, too. I went outside and picked a bouquet of daisies a little before six and then headed over to Tim’s. It was a nice evening for a walk—warm, but nowhere near hot. I wore a pair of khaki shorts and a red polo shirt. It was my idea of dressing up for dinner.

  Tim greeted me at the door with a hug and a kiss. I gave him the flowers, and he put them in a vase and set them on the table. Tristan was setting the table, while Shawn moved back and forth between a simmering skillet, a large steaming pan, and the oven.

  “Supper won’t be ready for a while, come on,” Tim said.

  Tim pulled me to his room, closed the door, and then immediately pulled me to him and kissed me. We worked in some quick kisses at school, despite the no PDA rule. They were mere pecks, however. Now, Tim kissed me deeply, sliding his tongue into my mouth. My hand immediately went into his shorts. We knew we probably didn’t have long, so we didn’t get naked. We just stood right there, making out, groping each other. Soon, our shorts were around our ankles and our hands were busy. We kept making out and groping until we thought we’d better be getting back.

  Shawn was still busy in the kitchen when we returned. Tristan was on the couch talking to him. Tim and I plopped down by him.

  “You’re going to make someone a good housewife someday, Shawn,” Tim said.

  “Shhh, don’t taunt him. I’m trying to get him trained,” Tristan said. “It’s hard to domesticate him.”

  Shawn merely shot them both a look of pretend annoyance.

  “So, you still haven’t gotten tired of my brother yet,” Tim said.

  “Not even close,” Tristan said.

  “You know he’s actually been talking about reading a book that hasn’t been assigned,” Tim said. “I never thought I’d live to see that.”

  “We’re teaching each other a few things,” Shawn said. “I’m going to teach Tristan how to play football.”

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Is that so unbelievable?” Tristan asked.

  “Well, yeah. I mean, you just don’t seem…I don’t mean it in a bad way, but you don’t seem very athletic.”

  “Oh, he’s athletic—very athletic,” Shawn said, wiggling his eyebrows.

  “I meant outside of your bedroom,” I said.

  “Don’t go there, Dane,” Shawn warned.

  I wondered if they’d done it yet.

  “I’m not into organized sports, but I like stuff like bicycling or playing soccer with a few of the guys. I just don’t like getting too serious about it. I’m not a jock. I don’t have the natural athletic talent of Shawn.”

  Shawn paused a moment to flex his muscles.

  “Don’t encourage him or we’ll have to change his name to Narcissus,” Tim said.

  “Big word for you Tim,” Shawn said. Tim stuck out his tongue.

  “I like Shawn’s cockiness,” Tristan said.

  “Yeah, I’m sure you like his cock…iness,” Tim said. Tristan smacked him. I laughed.

  “Um, who is Narcissus?” I asked, feeling a bit stupid.

  “Narcissus was a beautiful youth who fell in love with his own reflection,” Tim said. “He pined away gazing at himself, and the narcissus, the flower, sprang up where he died. It’s from Greek mythology.”

  “Oh!”

  “How are you doing, Dane?” Tristan asked.

  “I’m…okay mostly.”

  “Just mostly?”

  “Yeah, I’ve been having some…freaky experiences lately.”

  “Such as?”

  “Well, you know about Jacob. He’s been showing up more frequently, and he’s beginning to scare me. Listen guys, this can’t leave this room, okay?”

  “Sure,” everyone said.

  “Jacob actually touched me—twice—and last time he spoke to me.”

  “I told Shawn about the shower incident,” Tim said. “I hope that was okay.”

  “And he told me, but it went no further,” Tristan added.

  “That’s okay. I don’t mind you guys knowing. I just don’t want everyone to know.”

  “This is fascinating,” Tristan said.

  “You sure you don’t think I’m nuts?”

  “No. You seem perfectly sane to me.”

  “And you really believe me?”

  “You don’t have a reputation for lying, so why wouldn’t I believe you?”

  ‘You don’t seem surprised that I saw a ghost. Even the first time I told everyone, you didn’t seem shocked at all.”

  “I wasn’t. Lots of people have seen ghosts.”

  “Have you?”

  “Yes.”

  “When?”

  “Not too long after my cousin died.”

  “You saw Taylor?” Tim asked.

  “Yes, and I’ve seen him a couple of times since.”

  “So, what happened?” Tim asked.

  “The first time I saw him was just after I found out he’d died. I was taking it really hard and feeling very guilty. I kept wondering if there was something I could have said or done to have kept him from killing himself.”

  “A lot of us were feeling the same thing,” Shawn said. “Brandon just about lost his mind.”

  “Taylor came to me that night. It was maybe ten. I wasn’t in bed yet, and I was just sitting and staring into space. I felt him enter the room. He looked kind of misty white. I wasn’t afraid, because I knew it was Taylor. He didn’t speak to me, but he gazed at me, and without words, he told me that everything was going to be okay and that I had nothing to feel guilty about. I even heard his voice in my head. One thing that really struck me later is when he said, ‘Mark and I will always be together now.’ I didn’t learn until a few days later that his boyfriend killed himself, too. That’s w
hat made me certain I hadn’t just imagined the whole thing. That and the fact that it felt so real. It wasn’t like a dream at all. It was reality.”

  “Did it feel cold when he appeared?”

  “No,” Tristan said. “If it was colder, it wasn’t enough to notice.”

  “It was icy the first time Jacob appeared, but it’s been less cold each time. Last time, it was merely chilly.”

  “I wonder why the change,” Tristan said.

  “Me, too. I also wonder why it wasn’t cold when Taylor came to you.”

  “I’m afraid I don’t know much about ghosts,” Tristan said. “I’ve seen Taylor since then. He came to check on me when my dad died and again right before Mom and I moved to Verona. He appeared to me recently, too. I know he’s watching over me. It makes me feel very secure.”

  “Jacob definitely isn’t watching over me,” I said. “He scares me. The last two times he touched me. His fingers felt chilly and, well, dead, yet they felt like fingers.”

  “I think I would have crapped my pants,” Shawn said, pouring the contents of the big pan into a colander in the sink.

  “That’s not the worst of it. The last time, he also spoke to me. He told me he was going to make me his. It freaked me out, and I’m still pretty scared.”

  “Shit,” Shawn said.

  I said nothing about Jacob’s touch sexually arousing me. There were some things I wasn’t going to share even with the closest of friends.

  “I’m afraid he’ll come back again soon. It was freaky when he haunted me before, but I just don’t know how long I can handle him touching me and talking to me. I don’t know how to stop him, either.”

  No one had an answer to that.

  “Sorry for bringing everyone down,” I said.

  “You haven’t brought us down,” Tristan said. “We just don’t know how to help you. If there is anything we can do, let us know.”

  “I didn’t expect any solutions. I just wanted to talk about it with someone. I’ve told Tim, of course, but I just couldn’t mention it at school.”

  Tim took my hand and held it.

  “Okay, supper is just about ready. Everyone, take a seat,” Shawn said.