Next To You

by Rebecca Brochu

  Chapter Three

  After his alarm went off that night Ricci woke up from a surprisingly restful, if distressingly short, sleep only to spend the next five minutes staring at Layton’s slumbering face on his shoulder.

  The curl of warmth and want that twisted through his chest only took him partially by surprise. Ricci knew his urge to talk to Layton that first night came from the distant echo of attraction he could feel even then in the pit of his stomach. He had been too exhausted at the beginning of that first ride to have more than a faint interest in anyone around him. At the end, he’d been almost too focused on getting home, but he’d still noticed Layton.

  After it happened a second time, this time willingly on his part, Ricci couldn’t help but think about the strange situation he’d ended up in. He wasn’t really surprised by the curl of attraction that twisted through him as he looked at Layton, face soft and hair wild. Hell even the memory of his slightly accented and sleep rough voice perked Ricci’s interest.

  Beyond that was the fact that Layton fit almost painfully into the category of guy Ricci had always been helplessly attracted to despite his best efforts. He’d had a type even as a teenager, and having Layton sit right down beside him was too much to ignore. Ricci had come to terms with his sexuality years ago, had dated men and women with a fluid kind of ease during and after college although none of the relationships had lasted long enough to really note. Now, two years since his last real relationship and months since his last hook up, Ricci found his interest piqued to record-setting heights despite his exhaustion and everything else going on in his life.

  He stared at Layton for a bit, reluctant to wake him up, but Ricci knew that he would have to. Finally, when he could wait no longer, he reached out, wrapped his fingers gently around Layton’s shoulder, and shook him lightly.

  “Layton.” Ricci kept his voice low and calm, ignoring the urge to tangle his fingers in his seatmate’s hair. Layton groaned and curled closer to Ricci’s warmth like he had that first night. Ricci had to tamp down on the automatic reflex to curl his arm around Layton’s shoulders and draw him in closer. “Wake up, man. We’re at the end of the line.”

  Like the first time, he saw and felt the moment Layton came back to reality and realized the position they were once again in.

  “Me saying ‘I’m sorry’ is probably beginning to lose some of its effectiveness by now, isn’t it?” Layton sounded almost sheepish when he finally pulled back and pushed himself upright in his seat.

  “Hmm.” Ricci hummed low in his throat as he stood and stretched his arms above his head. He was still tired, but the nap had done him a world of good. He felt almost astonishingly refreshed considering. “I think it’s unnecessary mostly. I could have woken you up, but I figured it’d be a waste for the both of us. I followed your lead and passed out.”

  “Well I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.”

  Ricci barked out a short laugh as Layton’s ears flushed when he seemed to realize just what he’d said.

  “You know, that whole getting punched thing is sounding more and more realistic since you seem incapable of filtering what you say.” Ricci liked it though, liked the way Layton obviously said the first thing that came to his mind like that. That sort of honesty and wit was something he had always found appealing and he found himself flirting without really thinking about it. “Luckily, I happen to like that. Makes things more interesting.”

  “Really?” Layton asked, voice low and interested and eyes brighter than ever before as he stood and followed Ricci through the train doors and out onto the platform.

  “Yeah, really. Makes moving things along easier since you learn all sorts of interesting things about a person.” Ricci smiled as he looked Layton over slowly and obviously. “Can be sexy in certain situations.”

  Layton grinned back at him, but whatever response he’d been about to make was cut off by an almost brutal looking yawn that Ricci was obligated to immediately echo.

  “Damn.” Ricci muttered as he shifted his bag on his shoulder. “Looks like I’m more tired than I thought I was.”

  “Obviously the nap wasn’t enough to keep me going for too much longer either. I hate to cut such an interesting and illuminating conversation short, Ricci, but my bed is calling my name.” Layton seemed genuinely reluctant to leave, and Ricci found he felt the same way.

  “Yeah, I need to head out, too.” Ricci jerked a thumb over his shoulder towards the exit that went in his direction. “Be careful and…uh…I’ll see you tomorrow night?”

  Ricci asked the question hesitantly. He wanted Layton to say yes, wanted the chance to see him again, to talk with him, maybe to get to know him a little better or hell just have another chance to nap together on the train. He knew it was kind of pathetic, and maybe kind of creepy, but he was pretty sure he could get addicted to it. The feel of waking up next to Layton.

  “Yeah,” Layton said with a smile before he turned to go. Relief and anticipation rushed through Ricci with surprising strength. “I’ll see you tomorrow night. Maybe this time we can have a full conversation without either of us passing out.”

  “Maybe, but if not I’ll still consider it time well spent,” Ricci called out. He heard Layton’s light, appreciative laugh echo back to him from across the room. He set out for his bus stop with a smile on his face and a sense of eagerness he hadn’t felt in too long.

  That night, when he crawled into bed, he didn’t even try to fool himself into believing that Layton and their light flirtation wouldn’t factor into his dreams.

  Chapter Four

  In the end, the nap arrangement did cause a problem, just not the one that Ricci had vaguely had in mind at the beginning. Instead, his impromptu decision to let Layton sleep and to take a nap himself seemed to create some sort of strange pattern they were both reluctant to break after that second time.

  Layton showed up on the train just as he said he would the next night and sat down beside Ricci, who’d been sure to save him a seat, without asking. They talked for a few minutes that night. Ricci mainly spoke about his company and his house. Layton talked about the extensive application process the shop he worked at had to go through in order to find a new pâtissier to take some of the workload off of his shoulders.

  Like before the conversation petered out relatively quickly as Layton soon drifted off to sleep. A small bump in the track put Layton’s head on Ricci’s shoulder once again, and Ricci didn’t bother to try and pretend like he didn’t like it. Instead, he once again set his phone to wake him up and let himself slip off to sleep as well. When they parted that night it was the same as before, light flirtation mixed with a heavy dose of yawns, and for Ricci particularly good dreams that night.

  It happened again the next night, and then the night after that as well, and kept on going until the end of the week. Every time they grew more comfortable with each other. They chatted about different things. The conversations were mainly about work or a book or occasionally whatever game they’d both missed seeing that night. It was never long before one of them drifted off to sleep. The alarm on Ricci’s phone was set to automatic after a few days, and they took their practically scheduled nap with each other without either of them making a single effort to change things.

  Then Layton came onto the train one night, face troubled and shoulders slumped. Ricci, tired and stiff from work, was immediately on alert.

  “What’s the matter?” He wasted no time on pleasantries and simply asked the question straight out as soon as Layton had collapsed into his customary seat.

  “I’m not going to be taking the Tube this weekend. Since I’m working so much without the help I really need in the kitchen, the owners have started closing the shop on the weekend. Just until they find a new pâtissier to work with me. I’d forgotten until I left for the day.” Layton worried his bottom lip with his teeth.

  Ricci wanted to reach out and run the pad of his thumb over the skin, but he managed to stop himself as Layton’s
words registered.

  He was off too, the job site shut down for the weekend thanks to him being overworked and a forecast for heavy rains. He hadn’t thought about not seeing Layton, had gotten so used to the train rides and the naps already that he’d started plugging them into his daily routine without much thought. Ricci frowned; he was displeased at the idea of going two days without seeing Layton even if he knew it was ridiculous.

  “I’m off, too. I’d completely forgotten until you said something,” Ricci said as he looked at Layton. “You’ll be back on Monday right?”

  “Of course, Monday.” Layton nodded to Ricci and then settled in for their nap. Ricci tried to get comfortable, tried to let himself doze off and enjoy his extra hour of sleep like he’d been doing for the past week. He felt like he was on edge, like he couldn’t get comfortable no matter what he did as the knowledge that he wouldn’t get to see Layton until Monday hit him. The way Layton’s face was pinched in his sleep, the way his shoulders were still stiff, showed Ricci that he wasn’t the only one affected.

  He did finally manage to doze off for a few minutes towards the end of the ride, but afterwards the goodbye he shared with Layton was stiff and oddly uncomfortable. Ricci reminding himself on the walk home that Monday would come quickly. He also thought about the fact that not having Layton around shouldn’t ruin his first two days off in what felt like forever. He’d use the time to get caught up on his sleep and to work on the house a bit. No big deal.

  Except, as it turned out, it was a big deal.

  Ricci tossed and turned the entire weekend. He was tired, but sleep was difficult to come by. He forced himself to stay in bed for as long as possible in the hopes he’d be able to get comfortable eventually. It didn’t work and by the time Monday night rolled around and Ricci saw Layton stagger, pale and obviously still exhausted, onto the train, he could have cried tears of pure joy.

  “You look like someone ran you over, Ricci.” Layton mumbled as he flung himself into the seat behind Ricci.

  “You know, I think I’d almost rather they had. I spent the entire weekend almost completely unable to sleep.” Ricci could feel his eyes begin to grow heavy and the tension drain out of him as the scent of burnt sugar and chocolate enveloped his senses.

  “Me too.” Layton said back, voice barely more than a mumble as he laid his head against Ricci’s shoulder without any hesitation. “This weekend was hell.”

  “Yeah…” Ricci could feel it as sleep closed in around the edges for both of them. Instead of fighting it, he allowed it to push him down. He’d not had a decent hours sleep since Friday, and he refused to miss a minute now.

  They both dozed off and later barely managed to stumble their way off the train before splitting up and going their separate ways on the platform. That night when he finally crawled into bed, Ricci slept so deeply he was almost missed his train to work the next morning.

  The rest of the week passed in much the same way. They fell back into the routine from the week before, talking lightly for a few minutes before they settled in for a short nap. Ricci with his pack hooked around his foot and Layton with his messenger bag hugged to his chest.

  After a few days, Ricci had to face facts. Once he gave it some real thought, it didn’t take much to connect the dots despite the fact that it seemed farfetched. He’d already grown used to having his nap with Layton, to falling asleep for at least an hour each night beside his warm body. Now he actually dreaded the next weekend since it would mean two days of no Layton, which would apparently translate into an entire weekend of no sleep at all.

  Unsure of what to do, Ricci carried on like normal as best he could. He soaked in the moments he spent with Layton. He couldn’t stop thinking about what it would feel like to really sleep beside Layton, to wake up in the morning and find Layton beside him in his own bed. To have his sheets slowly start to smell like burnt sugar and chocolate. To be able to wrap himself around Layton’s back at night and to kiss him awake in the morning. He went home each night with memories of Layton’s scent and the phantom heat of Layton’s body against his side.

  When Friday finally came again, Ricci was filled with dread and almost desperate for a way to keep the previous weekend from repeating. He was restless and so was Layton. They were both barely able to settle into the nap like always and when they finally parted ways on the platform, Ricci could see his own reluctance reflected easily in Layton’s eyes as they went their separate ways.

  Ricci only made it a few feet towards the stairwell before his resolve crumbled. Mind suddenly made up, he turned on his heel and backtracked a bit until he could see Layton at the end of the stairs on the opposite end of the subway shuffling towards the exit.

  “Hey!” Ricci called out to his seatmate and did his best to ignore the curious looks the few stragglers in the area gave him. “Layton!”

  “Ricci?” Layton looked back over his shoulder at him, face a mixture of confusion and surprise with an eyebrow raised in question.

  Ricci ignored the way his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest and quickly jogged over until they were standing a little too close together to be casual.

  “What’s wrong?” Layton sounded worried, his eyes wide and mouth pulled down into a frown that made Ricci wince.

  “Nothing, nothing’s wrong. I just … God I don’t want to sound fucking creepy or anything, but I was thinking I could give you my number?” Ricci ran a hand through his hair and tried to ignore the urge to tuck tail and run due to embarrassment. “Just, you know, in case you can’t sleep this weekend either.”

  Layton stared at him for a long moment and the frown on his face morphed into an expression of surprise. Ricci felt his face heat and had to force himself to keep speaking. “That way you could call me and we could … I don’t know meet up for a nap or something?”

  When he didn’t get an immediate answer, Ricci took a large step back and away from Layton and began to curse himself in the back of his mind. He’d messed it all up, had ruined whatever it was he’d thought was beginning to build between him and Layton by coming on too fast and too clumsily. Despite the strange arrangement they already had, he shouldn’t have assumed that Layton would want to make it anything more than what it already was.

  “I’ll just go. It was a stupid idea anyways. I hope I’ll still see you Monday?” Ricci phrased it like a question but didn’t stick around for an answer. Instead, he turned tail and made to leave even as he refused to acknowledge the fact that he was actually running away.

  Just then, before he could take more than a few steps, a hand snagged the edge of his shirt and he was jerked to a halt. Ricci slowly turned around and was surprised to see Layton behind him, one hand still on his sleeve as the other held his phone out.

  “You took me by surprise is all. It sounds like a lovely idea, Ricci. Can’t hurt anything at least, and I’ve been meaning to get your number for days now.” Layton had a small smile playing around the corners of his mouth, and Ricci let out a completely unsubtle sigh of relief but couldn’t bring himself to care.

  “Great. That’s great.” Ricci grinned lightly as he took the phone from Layton’s outstretched hand, plugged in his number, and then quickly sent himself a text before he handed it back. “Just call me, or text, whichever you’d rather do, and we’ll do something or go somewhere. Or hell we can just meet up here and ride the train until it closes.”

  “I’d like that. Honestly, I wasn’t looking forward to spending another weekend in my flat too tired to go out and yet unable to sleep. At least with you I know I wouldn’t ruin our relationship by falling asleep.” Layton full out smiled at Ricci as he tucked his phone back into his pocket.

  Ricci wanted to bundle him up and take him home with him right then. He knew he couldn’t, but he still wanted to.

  They stood in silence for another moment, both once again obviously reluctant to part. Ricci was the one who moved first. He adjusted the strap on his bag, gave Layton another smile, and turned
to move back towards his end of the platform. When he turned to look back at the bottom of the stairs, Layton was still watching him from a distance.

  Chapter Five

  Saturday proved to be as miserable as Ricci had feared it would be. He’d had little to no sleep the night before unlike he usually did after a nap with Layton. He found himself awake late into the morning, unable to drift off as he turned his last encounter with Layton over and over in his mind.

  He had finally given up on getting any real rest sometime around dawn. He had instead crawled out of bed and spent the rest of the morning going over paperwork. Then he’d painted the downstairs bathroom, which was something he’d been putting off for weeks.

  When night finally rolled around, Ricci showered, ate, and crawled into bed, intent on trying to go to sleep early. He hoped that if he lay down early enough that no matter how long he tossed and turned, he’d eventually fall asleep with enough time left before morning to get some decent rest. He gave up after about three hours and with a frustrated punch to his pillow sat up and reached for the remote to his TV so he could watch cop drama reruns in a daze.

  An hour or so later, he was pulled back to reality when his phone rang. When he managed to scoop it up off of his side table, he was surprised and pleased to see the caller ID flash Layton’s name at him.

  “Hello?” Ricci aimed for casual, but he was sure he sounded a bit too eager.

  “Ricci? I hope I didn’t wake you? I know you said to call, but it is rather late.” Layton sounded hesitant.

  “No, no I’m awake.” Ricci rushed to reassure him. “Been trying to get some sleep, but I gave up a while back actually. You?”

  “Ah, I’m in the same boat I’m afraid. I was wondering if your offer of getting together was still open despite the hour?”

  Ricci could hear the low drone of the same show that was playing on his TV in the background before it went quiet.