T'on Ma

by Magnolia Belle

  "Day after tomorrow?" Her eyes flashed. "But I need to see my family before I go!"

  "Lana, honey, I don't have enough leave coming to take you there for a visit and back."

  "Then I'll go by myself!"

  "No! Absolutely not!" Liam's voice rose. "There are too many hostiles between here and your family."

  "Liam!" She jumped to her feet. "I'm not going anywhere without saying goodbye to my family! I may never see them again!"

  "There isn't enough time!" Liam stood up as well.

  "There would be if I didn't have to go to Georgia!" she retorted.

  "I need you to go to Georgia!"

  "And I need to see my family!!" Lana had never been angrier with anyone in her life.

  Trying to calm down, Liam lowered his voice. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. But if you're going to have enough time in Georgia to learn all that you need to, you have to leave for Shreveport day after tomorrow."

  "I WON'T GO!" Lana stamped her foot, stomped across the living room, and slammed the bedroom door so hard the windows rattled. Neighbors on either side of the triplex listened in fascination from the comfort of their own kitchens.

  Liam stared at the bedroom door in disbelief. Remembering his father-in-law's words on the eve of his wedding, Liam went out in search of a barn. He needed to cuss something awful.

  When he returned a few hours later, their uneaten meal had been put away and the kitchen cleaned. The house was dark except for a line of yellow coming from underneath the closed bedroom door.

  Liam tapped once and then slowly opened the door. Lana sat propped up in bed, her arms defiantly folded across her chest, her face tear-streaked. She looked at him with sad, resentful eyes.

  "Please, Lana. It will mean the world to me if you'll do this. It's for us, for our future." He sat down beside her on the bed.

  "But, Liam, my family…!" She burst into fresh tears. Liam pulled her to him, grateful that she let him hold her.

  "I know, honey. I know. But that's the way the military works. Everything is on its time, not ours." After a few minutes, she sat up and dried her eyes.

  "I tell you what," he smiled and laid his hand on his heart. "I promise that I will get your letter to your parents before I leave for Boston, even if I have to pay someone to take it. Will that be all right? Will you go to Shreveport?"

  Lana studied his face while she considered his offer. "I suppose," she reluctantly agreed, knowing neither one of them had any choice in the matter.

  "All right, then. That's what I'll do." Liam walked to his side of the bed and began to undress. Later, when he reached for her, she turned her back. "Please, no, Liam. I don't feel like it."

  Scowling, he slowly withdrew his hand and then, reluctantly, blew out the lamp. There had been more and more of this lately, and he hoped the move would lessen this distance between them.

  * * *

  Lana sat in the back of the wagon, under the canvas, her two suitcases by her feet. Two soldiers sat on the drivers' seat, one holding the reins and the other with his rifle at the ready.

  Liam stood behind the wagon, saying goodbye to his wife. "I'll miss you so much, honey," he said, reaching for her. "I already do."

  "I don't have to go," she reminded him.

  "Yes, you do. But it will pass quicker than you know." He was trying to encourage himself as much as her. "Let me kiss you before you have to leave."

  She offered her lips and returned his kiss with real tenderness. "Take care of yourself," she whispered. "I love you."

  "I love you!" The wagon jolted into motion, and carried her away from the fort and toward Shreveport. Liam stood there and watched until she was out of sight. It took all he had to keep from running after the wagon and pulling her off. It was going to be a long, lonely, distracted six weeks.

  * * *

  As Lana sat in the back of the wagon, watching the fort grow smaller and smaller in the distance, she couldn't help it. She burst into tears. Why did she have to leave? And, especially, why did she have to go to a place where no one liked her?

  It was bad enough when her family left after the weddings to go back to the homestead. But this? There had been no time for her to tell them goodbye, to explain what was happening to her. As she sat in that bumpy, uncomfortable wagon between boxes, crates and her suitcases, her tears turned to anger.

  What was she doing? Moving clear across the country to a place she'd never been for a husband she shouldn't have married! Would she ever see Texas again? Or her family? And politics? What did she know of politics? How on earth was she supposed to help Liam further that career?

  With every step the horses took, with every mile that rolled beneath the wagon wheels, she became more and more convinced she was making the mistake of her life. But what could she do? Nothing - at least nothing that she knew of.

  * * *

  The wagon had been on the trail for three days, passing a small, new settlement and a few homesteads along the way. Many places offered them meals in exchange for the rare commodity of cash money. They had just left the settlement when they passed a young woman walking in the same direction along the trail.

  As Lana saw her, Lana spoke to her from the back of the wagon. "Where are you going?"

  "Anywhere. Just away from here," the woman told her.

  Lana looked up at the sky where storm clouds were brewing. "And you're walking?"

  "Have to. Don't have a horse."

  "Well, we're going to Shreveport. Do you want to ride with us?"

  "You and two soldiers?"

  "Yes. My husband is an officer for the Army."

  "Oh, I see." The woman continued walking alongside the wagon as she considered this offer. "Shreveport, huh? That's a far piece."

  "Yes. It is," Lana agreed.

  "Think I could find work in Shreveport?"

  "I'd imagine if you could find work anywhere, it would be Shreveport."

  "All right, then. Thanks!" Without waiting for the wagon to stop, the woman climbed up the back and settled in beside Lana.

  "My name is Nan." No sooner had she made this announcement than raindrops began to pound the side of the canvas and raise little bursts of dust on the road.

  "Nan. I'm Lana." Lana looked at her new friend. Her dress had been mended several times and was now nothing more than rags held together by patches. The women looked to be about her age. "Hungry?"

  "I could eat," Nan admitted.

  Once Lana had given Nan food, she broached another subject.

  "I have some extra dresses in here," she patted one of her suitcases. "You're more than welcome to change into one. That one looks - well…"

  "Looks like it was rode hard and put up sweaty," Nan laughed. "But thanks. I'm all right." A violent jag of lightning lit up the western sky.

  Lana pulled out a sweet, light blue dress and shook out the wrinkles. "Are you sure? I bet this would fit you perfectly."

  Nan reached out and touched the dress admiringly. "It sure is pretty."

  "Well, try it on."

  Looking over her shoulder at the soldiers in the front and then back at Lana, she asked, "Do you think they'll peek?"

  "No. I'll sit between you and them. How about that?"

  Nan nodded and, within a few minutes, sat across from Lana, feeling like a princess in her borrowed dress. "Goodness," Nan smiled, studying Lana, "We could be sisters."

  "We do look a lot alike," Lana agreed. "I've got one sister-in-law and three brothers, but no sisters." Thunder clashed and boomed, making them both jump.

  "Shouldn't we stop or something?" Nan asked fretfully.

  "I don't know. I'm sure the soldiers know what to do. They might just be looking for a good place to get out of the storm."

  Nan nodded. "Yeah, probably." Storms made her nervous and she felt edgy. Lana noticed and tried to think of some way to distract her.

  "Are you from the settlement we just passed?" Lana asked.

  "That place. No! That place is awful! My folks' place got burned
out and they got killed. I've been looking for work or something ever since. Been slowly making my way east, toward civilization."

  "Oh. Well, perhaps Shreveport will have what you're looking for."

  "I hope so."

  They sat there silently, struggling to keep their balance as the wagon jolted down the rough trail. The two women tried to ignore the storm.

  "I saw you looking at my ring," Lana said. "Want to see?"

  "Oh, I'd love to." Nan moved to sit next to Lana. Holding up Lana's hand, she gently touched the ring.

  "I've never seen anything so beautiful in all my born days," Nan exclaimed. "What are the red ones?"

  "The red ones are rubies. The blue ones are sapphires."

  "And the white one?"

  "That's a diamond. This is my wedding ring. My husband had it made special."

  "Goodness. You must be rich."

  Lana laughed at that. "No. Not rich." Her distraction was working, the storm nearly forgotten. "Do you want to try it on?"

  "You mean, you'd let me?" Nan looked at her in astonishment.

  "Of course. Just give it back, all right?" They both laughed while Lana pulled the ring off and gave it to Nan. Slipping it on, Nan held it up to inspect her newfound, though temporary, wealth.

  "I feel like the Queen of England," she gushed.

  A clash of thunder boomed immediately overhead, instantly followed by wicked lightning searing the ground near them. The terrorized horses bolted and careened down the muddy trail. The trail turned but the horses didn't. The soldiers tried desperately to stop the runaway animals, but to no avail. They plunged off an embankment that led to a river. Horses, wagon and people flew through the air, dashing on the rocks below.

  Chapter 44 - Make Her Wake Up

  Liam stood facing his commander, receiving orders in the colonel's office.

  "We've received a report of an accident involving an Army wagon and possibly Army personnel. It's about three days east of here. Take a detail with a wagon and investigate."

  "Yes, sir." Liam saluted and, as he walked out of the office, tried to shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Lana left almost a week before. Surely, this had nothing to do with her. Within the hour, he led his detachment out of the fort.

  The trip east proved non-eventful. When Liam reached the settlement, he found the person who had reported the accident. The young man led the cavalry to the site where deep ruts ran off the road and eventually over the embankment.

  Thanking him, Liam sent him back home, telling him, "We'll take it from here."

  Liam sent scouts up and down the embankment. It took over two hours to find a safe route to the river, and the sun had almost set when Liam arrived at the scene. The first alarm went off in his heart when he saw a dress that looked like one of the new ones he had bought Lana. Walking over to it, he picked up the pink fabric from the rocky river bank and stared at it. No matter how hard he wished otherwise, he knew the dress was hers.

  "Lieutenant!" his sergeant called out.

  Carrying Lana's dress with him, Liam walked over to the sergeant. Wordlessly, the man pointed to the ground. There, behind busted boxes and sprung suitcases lay a young woman's torn body, her face beaten beyond recognition. As Liam forced himself to walk closer, he saw her wedding ring - the ring he had specially made just for her - the diamond and rubies and sapphires sparkling cruelly in the light.

  "Oh, God! Lana!" Liam didn't remember going to his knees - or screaming. He wanted to hold her, to make her wake up, but the sergeant wouldn't let him, as he held Liam by his shoulders. Her body was too badly decomposed from the heat and humidity.

  "Sir? - Sir!"

  Liam looked up, as if he didn't know where he was. "What?"

  "We need to make camp for the night. Don't you think?" The sergeant hoped to give the lieutenant something else to focus on.

  "Yes, I suppose." Liam slowly stood up, all life gone from his eyes. "In the morning, make three caskets as best you can out of the busted wagon. That will do to transport the bodies back to the fort. Bury the horses."

  "What about her things?"

  "Gather up what you can find. I'll take them back to her parents."

  "Yes, sir."

  "And, Sergeant, unless it's an emergency, don't come looking for me tonight. I'll be down the river." Liam handed the pink dress to him.

  "Yes, sir. Want me to bring you supper?"

  "No." The distraught young officer answered too quietly. When the sergeant turned away to give the orders, Liam knelt beside her body and, jaws clenched, removed her ring. Kissing it once, he put it in his top pocket and then, after covering her with a blanket, stood up to walk away, leaving his soldiers to their gruesome tasks.

  Somehow, his numb legs carried him a half-mile down the riverside. He stared at the water for a long time as the sunlight faded and the stars came out. Liam refused to let his mind think or his heart feel for as long as he could. But, in spite of himself, the pain rolled in like thunderclouds, black and billowing, full of wind and fury and inescapable destruction.

  "Why?" he whispered to the moon. "Why?" he asked the stars. "WHY!" he shouted at God. None of them answered. His mind went red, the anger and rage bursting from him like an erupting volcano, spewing from his mouth in curses and cries.

  Hurrying over to a large tree, he rammed his fists into it, first one and then the other. "Damn it! Damn it to hell!" His fists, not feeling the pain, pounded the rough bark, one punch after another. With his feet splayed apart, his torso twisting, each jab was accompanied by another curse. For several minutes, the uneven bout continued - man against tree. Suddenly spent, he flung his arms around the tree and sobbed uncontrollably.

  "Lana, no! Baby, no! I need you."

  Placing his back against the trunk, he slid down to the ground, hopelessly lost, eternally empty, the sorrow so heavy he couldn't get enough air in his lungs to breathe. Time passed by unnoticed. The moon rose and set; the constellations moved across the heavens. Somewhere in that time, Liam fell asleep, sheer exhaustion taking over.

  "Lieutenant?"

  Liam jerked awake, startled. For a split second - one merciful split second - he didn't know where he was or why he was there. But then it came rushing at him - the fanged sorrow, the black, airless grief - and wrapped its life-sucking tentacles around his soul. Liam looked around him, at the ground, at the river, and then up at his sergeant as he tried to get his bearings.

  "Yes?"

  "Sir, I just wanted to make sure you were all right. There's coffee on back at camp."

  "Thank you." When Liam put his hands on the ground to stand up, a sharp pain made him wince. Looking down, he saw both hands were a bloody, blackened, swollen pulp.

  The sergeant noticed them at the same time. "Sir, why don't you come with me and I'll tend to those."

  "I suppose you'd better." Liam slowly stood up, the muscles in his back, neck and shoulders sore and stiff, making his first few steps awkward.

  "The men wanted me to tell you how sorry we all are about your wife."

  "Thank you." Liam sounded expressionless.

  "We've already seen to her casket and her things are collected."

  "All right."

  "And if there's…"

  "Thank you, Sergeant, but I'll be fine." Liam stopped any further discussion. "As soon as everything is ready, we'll ride."

  "Yes, sir."

  Somehow, Liam made the trip back to the fort with his composure intact. Somehow, he gave rational orders and spoke in coherent sentences. At the fort, he requested and was given permission to take Lana's body to her family's homestead. Since he would be transferred soon, he didn't want her buried at the fort where she wouldn't know anyone. She needed to be home.

  * * *

  "Pa, we've got a visitor," Jake announced as he walked into the barn.

  "Who?"

  "Can't tell. He's in a wagon, though."

  Joshua and Jake stepped out into the yard to look. As the wagon got nearer,
Joshua broke into a wide grin. "Why, it's Liam! Go tell your ma."

  When the wagon pulled into the yard, Joshua's grin slowly faded as he watched Liam get down. Something in Liam's demeanor worried him.

  "Mr. Cooper," Liam walked over, hand extended.

  "Now, it's Pa, remember?"

  Liam said nothing to the lighthearted admonishment. The two men silently faced each other, one wondering what was wrong and the other unable to tell him. As Joshua tried to read Liam's eyes, the light in his own died.

  "I - I'm so sorry." Liam finally spoke, wishing that the tear he felt in the corner of his eye would disappear.

  "Liam, what is it?" Joshua looked alarmed.

  Turning to point to the wagon, Liam said quietly, "I've brought her home to stay."

  Joshua felt his heart stop, but he made himself look into the back of the wagon. At the sight of the casket, he slowly turned back to Liam.

  "No! Tell me no!" he demanded.

  May stepped into the yard, excited at the company, but one look at the two men, and she ran to the wagon. She screamed and dropped to her knees, her hands over her heart, as if she were trying to keep it from exploding in her chest.

  Rocking back and forth on the dirt, inconsolable, her wailing brought the others out. It took a long time before they understood - before they allowed themselves to understand - that Lana was gone.

  Liam reached for May, pulling her to her feet. Taking one look into his sad eyes, she flung herself into his arms, holding him tightly, as if that would bring Lana back.

  "What happened to my baby? What happened to my little girl?"

  Joshua took May by her shoulders and pulled her against his chest. "Come here, sweetheart." Looking over his shoulder at Nathan, he said, "Get the whiskey out. All of it."

  "Yes, sir."

  "Paul, Jake, take the wagon into the barn and take care of the horses. Then come to the house." Laying his hand on Liam's shoulder, Joshua said, "You'd better come in, son."

  They all gathered around the long table, waiting for Liam to tell them why they were in this nightmare. What happened? He told them all that he knew, which wasn't enough. After explaining about his new orders sending him to Boston, and Lana leaving to visit with his parents in Georgia until his arrival, he told of the accident.