by Rae Agatha
Anna went to the bathroom and started crying.
***
She woke up in the middle of the night. Her eyes were sticky as the tears melted the mascara. Anna sat on the bed and turned on the night lamp. Funny, even though they had been together for months, Brian hardly ever stayed with her for a night. A few times during weekends, nothing more, so not seeing him around at night did not even feel wrong. Good.
Anna thought she needed to take a shower and a few minutes later, she was standing in the cubicle, allowing the water to wash all over her. She had her eyes closed and her head tilted, she felt the water running through her hair, flowing down the spine curve on her back.
She was thinking of Brian, of the break-up. It was the right, the best thing to do, before he got too attached to her. Before she got too attached to him. Perhaps all the revelations at his parents’ home were just an excuse, but the truth was, she did feel she had no future with him, at least the kind of future she was expecting. And she couldn’t be in the way, she couldn’t allow him to change his plans, he was too young, he had the right to search for his own purpose in life. It all made perfect sense. Well, if so, then why did she feel the need to keep on persuading herself she made the right decision?
Anna turned around and allowed the water the drop on her face. She stroke her wet hair and reached for the shampoo. Once again she thought about Brian’s parents and – it struck her – Tom! The Taurus! Goddamn it! She opened her eyes and hissed once the shampoo irritated them. Crap! Anna washed them, put the cosmetic in her hair again and, this time more focused, started analyzing Tom’s weird behavior from the past months. The son of a bitch was following her! Them! How sick was that! And, more importantly, what did he know? How could he use it? On the one hand she felt, kind of, relieved she knew why Tom was so curious, so intrusive, it made perfect sense now, on the other, it made her queasy. Did he have some kind of an obsession about her, or was he just looking for revenge that she did not want to be with him? Actually, did it matter? No, not really. He was spying on her, and that was the only thing that mattered. Sick bastard.
VIII
Brian texted her once. On New Year’s Eve he sent her a message with wishes for the upcoming 2013. Standard wishes, all the best, may all your wishes come true. She replied in a similar style.
Once Brian stopped coming to her apartment, Anna realized that Tom’s car was not around anymore. Maybe he realized that coming after them to Reading was too much, perhaps he knew she saw him and got nervous.
In January, Anna came back to work and one of the first things she spotted once Tom walked to the teachers’ lounge was how relaxed he was, how kind to her, to other people. He felt different, he was smiling to her. With her pulse racing, she came to him.
“Tom, hi!” She said and forced herself to smile to him. She hoped she looked natural.
“Hi, Anna, how are you?” He replied amiably.
“Good, good, just wanted to wish you a belated Happy New Year.”
“Oh, thank you, likewise,” he said and hugged her. Anna closed her eyes and hugged him back, a gesture that cost her a lot.
“How was your Christmas?” Tom asked her.
As if you didn’t know, she thought. “It was okay, nothing fancy, how was yours?”
“Great! Really awesome!”
“That good, huh? What happened?”
“It turned out I might be having a girlfriend soon,” he said and beamed.
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, she’s available again,” Tom said and winked.
Oh my God, he knows! That is why he stopped going after me! Jesus Christ!
Anna got so nervous she felt dizzy, she got a grip, though, replied: “That’s great, Tom, good luck,” and felt she had to get out of the room or else she would vomit.
“Well, it’s time for me to go, see you around, Tom,” she said looking at the clock above the doors.
“Yeah, see you,” he said calmly. Anna took her bag and left the teachers’ room. Her thoughts were racing, her heart was beating like crazy. She had no doubts it would not be possible for her to start the classes in such condition, she still had about half an hour before it’d begin, so she headed outside the building and went to sit in her car parked under the building to calm down.
Anna sat by the steering wheel and, breathing deeply, leaned her head on the seat. She looked ahead of her and realized that Tom’s Taurus was parked almost exactly opposite to her car. Was that a coincidence? Or did he want to see her driving off so he could follow her? Was she being paranoid? Jesus.
Anna took her phone and called the faculty office informing that she would not attend the classes that day. She said she had stomach flu and was absolutely unable to conduct her lectures. The woman at the office told her she would inform her students and wished her health. Anna called Brian, she had to tell him about everything.
“Anna, hi,” he said happily.
“Brian, we need to talk, it’s urgent. Where are you?”
“I’m at the gym.”
“Let’s meet, can you come to me today?”
“Of course, what’s happening?”
“I’ll tell you later. I’m not at work today, I’ll be home in about half an hour. I’ll be waiting,” Anna hung up.
When Brian appeared at her place, she told him about Tom, about his weird curiosity, his questions, and allusions about having a girlfriend soon. Brian was shocked, but he reminded her how he saw Tom’s car through the window in November. Anna admitted she remembered it, but it wasn’t relevant to her at that point. Now, it was.
He asked her if she had a plan what to do, Anna said she had an idea. She also asked him to keep on coming to her classes as she was now afraid of Tom, and she wanted, needed to know she wasn’t alone, that Brian was there, at least in the same building. Brian told her he had never thought of resigning from her lectures and assured her he would be there whenever she needed him. Anna started crying and Brian hugged her.
About two hours later, she looked through the window but couldn’t see Tom’s car outside. He probably had no idea Anna left work early and, besides, from his perspective she no longer had a boyfriend, so he didn’t have to keep an eye on her that much. Brian went out of the apartment and told her he would call her. Before leaving, he kissed her; spontaneously, impulsively. She looked at him surprised and he apologized her. Brian left and Anna wasn’t sure if she was uneasy about the kiss.
***
On the next day, Tom asked Anna out for coffee after work. She firmly declined, stating she did not want to see him outside work. He was vividly disappointed, but did not ask her about anything.
In the same week, Brian began coming to her again. He came to her lecture the next day and asked if she would like to eat something with him. Anna said nothing, only took out his key to her apartment from the bag and discreetly gave it to him. Their affair exploded again, and although Anna kept on telling herself it was only temporary, she felt she wanted and needed him, that she couldn’t help it. They spotted the Ford Taurus one evening, but Anna said she did not care about it anymore as she was about to inform the Academy’s authorities that she was being followed by one unstable, obsessed French literature teacher.
Anna didn’t manage to inform the authorities as two days before she was planning to file an official complaint, she got a summons to meet the president of the Academy, the dean of the literature department and the president of the school’s board. The document stated the meeting was urgent and that she was expected to meet everyone in faculty boards’ aula on Wednesday January 30th at 9 o’clock am.
Anna called Brian and told him about the summons. To her surprise, Brian told her he got one, too.
“They know about us, Brian,” Anna said.
“Yes, I think so, too.”
Anna felt her heart beating faster. That was it.
“What will happen now?” Brian asked.
“I don’t know. I’ve gotta go, I need to make one more phone call,
” she replied and hung up.
IX
“Ms. Fielding, do you know why you’re here?” John Bay, the president of the Boston Humanistic Academy asked. He was sitting by a wide, heavy, wooden table. On his right side there was Joan Lester, the dean of the literature department, Anna’s direct superior. On his left side, Michael Walt, the president of the Academy’s board.
Anna Fielding was sitting opposite to them on a big, ornamented wooden chair. Yes, she knew exactly why she was there; because Tom Miller was a scum, and that was why. Behind her, by a smaller table sat Brian Grant, Mark Hampton, Tom and the janitor. Anna took a sip of water before answering.
“No, unfortunately, I don’t.” She cleared her throat.
“You are here because your colleagues have serious doubts whether you can still work here as a college teacher.”
“Colleagues or just one of them? On what basis?” She said and licked her lips nervously.
“Ms. Fielding, it has been brought to our attention that your relationship with one of your students, Brian Grant, became unprofessional. We’re only trying to establish facts here,” Joan Lester said.
“I need to know how you define the word “unprofessional” before I answer.”
“Ms. Fielding, we’ve been informed you’ve started a romantic and sexual relationship with Brian Grant,” John Bay added.
Anna sighed and looked behind at Brian. He was sitting there tense, uncomfortable.
“Ms. Fielding, is it true?” Michael Walt asked.
Anna drank some more water and rubbed her lips nervously.
“Yes,” she said.
John Bay leaned back on his chair and unbuttoned his jacket; the official part was over, she confessed, they could proceed.
“How long has it been going on?” Joan Lester asked.
“Since the beginning of November,” Anna cleared her throat and replied.
“How would you describe the nature of your relationship?”
Anna sighed again. There was no point in denying anything, in changing the facts. They knew.
“Romantic.”
Tom snorted with satisfaction, Mark Hampton hid his face in his palm.
“Do you know it’s ethically unaccepted?” Michael Walt asked.
“Y – yes, I am aware of that, sir, however, Brian Grant is an adult –“
“That’s not the point, Ms. Fielding. We’re not talking about Mr. Grant’s age, we’re talking about the lack of your professionalism,” John Bay interrupted her.
Anna drank some more water and looked down.
“Excuse me, can I say something?” Brian asked and got up.
“We will have questions to you too, Mr. Grant, just a minute,” Bay replied.
“I – I just wanted to say I was the one who started everything, it wasn’t Anna’s – Ms. Fielding’s initiative nor fault –“
“I understand, Mr. Grant, however, next time please do not speak unless we ask you a question, all right?”
“Yes,” Brian sat down.
“Ms. Fielding, have you and Mr. Grant ever been engaged in any sexual activity at the Academy?”
This was the most humiliating experience in Anna’s life. Knowing that Mark, her good colleague was listening to all this, seeing the reprimanding sight of the commission, hearing the reproachful tones of their voices, knowing that she was going down, that there was no way she was about to leave this meeting as the Academy’s teacher, that they might expel Brian, too – all of this was hardly bearable. She felt dizzy.
“No.”
“Mr. Smith?” Walt asked the janitor. “Our internal investigation revealed that you saw Mr. Grant and Ms. Fielding in a rather unambiguous situation, am I right? Could you please tell the commission what you saw at the beginning of December?”
Mr. Smith got up and said nervously, “I saw Ms. Fielding and Mr.
Grant near the storage area, by the janitors’ room. They – they were having sex,” he sat down.
“Ms. Fielding?” Walt looked at Anna.
“Oh come on, it was an early morning, the building was empty, it’s not like that,“ Brian got up.
“Brian, it’s okay,” Anna turned around and looked at him.
“Sit down, Mr. Grant,” John Bay said.
“So, Ms. Fielding?” Lester asked.
“I – I have no comment.”
“Does this mean you’re admitting to what Mr. Smith has just said?” Walt said.
Anna did not answer.
“Mr. Hampton, we asked you to come because we want to know if you’ve ever seen Ms. Fielding and Mr. Grant behaving unethically in the Academy?” Joan Lester asked.
Mark Hampton got up, buttoned up his jacket and said, “The only time I saw them together was when they were drinking coffee in the teachers’ room, back in October.”
“Was their behavior inappropriate?”
“No.”
“Then what made you remember that particular moment?”
“Well, it wasn’t inappropriate, not at all, it was only surprising, because the teachers usually do not allow the students to come to the teachers’ lounge. That was why I paid attention to them. But they were only sitting by the table, talking, drinking coffee, nothing else.”
“Would you say that in that particular case, Ms. Fielding’s behavior wasn’t professional?”
“She invited a student to the teachers’ room and gave him coffee.
That’s it. It’s pretty far from “unprofessional”, at least in my mind.”
“Thank you, Mr. Hampton,” John Bay said.
“Mr. Miller, since you’re the one who informed the Academy about the possible love affair between Ms. Fielding and her student, I understand you have also witnessed some unethical behavior happening?”
Brian snorted and looked at Miller. He looked back at him with visible satisfaction in his sight.
Tom got up. “Yes, I did.”
“Can you tell us what happened?”
“I’ve also seen Anna in the teachers’ room with Brian, but I’ve also seen them visiting Mr. Grant’s parents during Christmas. They were holding hands and it seemed to me it was something the Academy ought to have taken a closer look at, as it seemed deeply unprofessional to me.”
“I understand you took those pictures, am I right?” Walt asked and showed a photograph of Anna and Brian holding hands and walking toward his parents’ house.
“Son of a bitch,” Brian hissed.
“Excuse me but is taking photographs of a colleague during her private time, is that a normal, ethical behavior?” Anna asked outraged.
“We’re not talking about Mr. Miller, we’re talking about you,” John Bay replied.
“Mr. Grant, how often did you and Ms. Fielding meet?”
Brian got up, “I don’t see how that is relevant. You’ve already established we’ve been romantically involved, so what’s the difference?”
“Perhaps it might be the difference between being suspended or expelled, how does that sound?” Joan Lester asked.
“Mr. Grant, there’s no doubt in our minds that despite the fact that both of you are adults, it’s mostly Ms. Fielding who acted irresponsibly and exposed this college to ridicule. However, we believe you’ve also crossed the line and thus we are taking your suspension under consideration.”
“So, he has a chance to stay at the Academy?” Anna asked.
“So, Mr. Grant, how often?” Lester asked ignoring her question.
“Almost every day. Can I ask the commission one question?”
“Go on,” John Bay said.
“Apart from that one time near the janitors’ room, we’ve never exposed ourselves. The photos taken by Mr. Miller were taken during a completely private situation, how can it be even seriously taken into consideration?”
“It’s a case of certain pattern of behavior, it doesn’t matter if you were meeting privately or in the Academy’s building, it’s about Ms. Fielding’s unethical behavior.”
“May I ask Mr
. Miller what he was doing in Reading on Christmas Day?” Anna asked.
“Mr. Miller?” John Bay asked.
Tom got up. “I was visiting my relatives there.”
“I have proof that it’s a lie. In fact, since we’re having that meeting, I’d like to inform the commission that I was planning on filing a complaint against Mr. Miller for spying on me, for stalking me and for ruining my private life,” Anna said firmly and drank some water.
Tom, visibly nervous, got up. “The allegations are outrageous, Ms. Fielding is desperately trying to extricate herself from the difficult situation.”
If I’m going down, you’re going with me, sick son of a bitch, Anna thought.
Brian was sitting there observing the situation with pleasure. One of the reasons that he started openly coming to Anna again about two weeks earlier was to provoke Tom to start appearing around her house again. It worked, about three days after Brian appeared at Anna’s to talk about Tom, Miller started parking his car, traditionally, on the other side of the street.
“I understand that I may have problems helping myself in the love affair accusation, I cannot help but have a feeling the commission has already made the decision about that, but I would like to have the opportunity to expose Mr. Tom Miller, a French literature teacher, who has been spying on me and interrogating me for the past months, most probably because I refused to date him. Since the commission’s concerned about the Academy’s teachers’ sense of morality, I’m sure you’d like to get familiar with the highly unethical behavior of Mr. Miller’s.”