Break Point

by Rachel Blaufeld

  It was like a fantasy, one I’d never even imagined. Yeah, I’d dreamed of fast cars and even faster women, but never a daughter.

  Yet there I was, satiated like a man post-coital after I’d spent most of Saturday with the girls. I’d carried Darla on my shoulders on our way for pancakes, even though my knee was screaming at me. My heart didn’t let my stupid joint win out; I was carrying my girl around. It was a high I’d never dreamed of.

  My spirits soared. I was a bird, a plane, no . . . I was . . . who even cares. My life had transcended to something epic. It didn’t even bother me when I tried to pull Jules close and she whispered, “No touching,” as we made our way into the diner for breakfast.

  I was there. With Darla. With Jules. I’d touch later.

  Except Jules insisted on going to work, and someone named Molly came to watch my daughter. I’d never been so torn.

  I wanted to go with Jules, but I also wanted to stay and watch this Molly character. Maybe I could run a background check, or have Sully call in a favor down at the police station.

  I also couldn’t allow Jules to go to work without me being there. There was that cock—her boss—and then all the men leering at her. I’d seen enough of that shit the few times I’d been there.

  In the end, I went with Jules, because I knew staying with Darla would be a battle I wouldn’t win.

  Until next time.

  Sunday morning, I worked out like I’d just won the Olympics. If you looked up pussy-whipped pansy in the dictionary, you’d find me with all my oversized dreams and comparisons. One minute, I was Superman, and the next I was in the Olympics.

  Truth was, I’d just found out I was a dad, and was scared shitless about doing it all right.

  Or wrong.

  Today was the day Darla and I would start our lessons. Jules and Darla were scheduled to meet me at the club after my workout. I had a group of eight- and nine-year-old boys at ten o’clock that Darla could keep up with.

  Of course she could. She was my freaking flesh and blood.

  “Hi, Coach Drew,” Darla chirped, knocking me out of my stupor.

  “Hey, Darla, you ready?”

  My daughter stood before me in crisp tennis whites. Her mom stood to the side in yoga pants and a long-sleeved T-shirt, no makeup, and messy hair.

  “Yep.” Darla bounced from foot to foot, her pink shoes sparkling.

  “Why don’t you do some jumping jacks and warm up while we wait for the others?”

  “Mom said we were early, but I didn’t care.” She dropped her racquet on the court and jumped into a small X and back.

  “Do twenty, and I’ll be back and look at your grip.” I walked toward Jules, who looked exhausted. “You okay?”

  “Yep.” She stifled a yawn.

  “Why don’t you go up to the restaurant and get some coffee? She’ll be fine.”

  We both turned and looked at Darla, who was counting out loud.

  “Fifteen, sixteen . . .”

  “It’s okay.” Jules stared at the green concrete court.

  “Done.” Darla ran over and tapped my elbow. “Done, Drew!”

  “Darla, tell your mom you’re good down here, and she should go get some coffee.”

  “Yeah, Mom.”

  The tiny person twirled back and forth in half circles, her hair flying in the air. If looks could kill, I’d be dead by Jules.

  “Let me put your hair up, Dar.”

  “Mom, it hurts. You pull it too tight.”

  Something told me I needed to back up Jules. “Darla, you have to be able to see. You’re playing with the big kids, and I need your A game.”

  “Okay. Can you put my hair up, Mommy?”

  And just like that, it was thirty–love. Me–Jules.

  “Great, so go grab some coffee and a newspaper, and I’ll run Darla up to the café after the lesson.” Without giving Jules a chance to respond, I turned to Darla. “Let’s go check out your grip.”

  As I finished speaking, a bunch of boys made their way onto the court, laughing and burping.

  “Good morning, boys. We have someone new joining us. This is Darla.”

  Seth, one of the older boys, scoffed at me. “A girl?”

  “Girls can play tennis too. My mom played,” Darla said stubbornly, defending herself.

  I bit back a smile. “It’s true. Now, let’s hit the baseline.”

  “She your cousin or something? She looks like you,” Seth said.

  I shook my head. “No, she’s not my cousin. Now, hit the baseline or you’re running suicides.”

  Jules

  It was the first time in six years I’d sat in a restaurant reading a newspaper and sipping my coffee like a lady of leisure. And I was neither a lady nor a person of pleasure.

  Of course, I owed it all to Drew . . . of all the fucking people.

  Like my words meant nothing, as if my feelings weren’t traitorous enough, my mouth had changed course and easily agreed to everything he suggested.

  I smoothed my messy hair with my hand, tied it back, and closed the paper, leaning back in my chair and taking a long breath. Although I was tired, this was the best I’d felt in a long time.

  I sat back up and looked at my watch. It had been an hour, so I tried to get the server’s attention for my check when I spotted Drew. He was telling my server something, Darla by his side. He patted her on the shoulder and shook his head before pointing over at me.

  I stood up, and they made their way toward me.

  “Mom, I did great, Coach Drew said. He did.”

  “She did,” Drew said with a grin. “Kept up with my eight- and nine-year-olds, but I’m sure you figured as much.”

  I nodded. “She’s very skilled for her age.”

  “She comes by it naturally.”

  “Mom.” Darla tugged on my shirt. “Drew said he would get me a strawberry smoothie if you would allow me?”

  “Wait, let me get some money.” I reached down to my purse hanging off my shoulder until a hand settled on mine.

  If I weren’t a grown woman with a kid, I would have swooned, physically swayed from side to side. To say our attraction hadn’t waned would be putting it lightly. A slight caress of his fingers, and I was mush. Jell-O, sludge, pudding, all goopy.

  “It’s on me, Jules.”

  “My mom is Claire.” Darla looked up at him with a confused expression.

  “I’ll explain to you later, Dar,” I said, hoping she would forget after sucking down a smoothie. “Why don’t you go get the smoothie? A small one, though.”

  With Darla tramping back to the counter, her sparkly shoes reflecting off the windows, I nearly growled at Drew. “You can’t—”

  “I know; I’m sorry. I want to rewind and do every day of the last seven years over. Can you understand that? I missed all of this. Even you being pregnant.” His hand wrapped around mine, his thumb moving over my skin in a caress. “She’s so good. God, she’s a miniature you, that determined look on her face as the ball makes its way over the net.”

  “I don’t know if being a mini-me is a compliment.” I tried to move away, but as soon as I shifted back on my heels, Drew tightened his grip on my hand.

  “I’d like to take you to dinner this week. Either just us or the three of us, depending on what you want. Anywhere you want. Italian, sandwiches, vegetables, whatever.”

  He stared me down with his blue eyes, and for the briefest of moments, I was lost at sea again. I didn’t care about life jackets or maps; I wanted to be lost in him.

  Drew swallowed and his brow furrowed. His fear of rejection was so palpable, my silence clearly making him uneasy, that I changed course. And just like that, my resolve to maintain boundaries went out the window.

  “Yes. We should do it. I don’t work on Mondays, but I’ll have to see if Molly can come. She already comes a lot, which makes me sad to leave Darla again, but I think we should do this without her.”

  “Do you know Molly well? I meant to ask.”

 
; “Drew, I need a sitter and I found her through Care.com. Give it a rest.”

  “You don’t really need a sitter. I can set you up . . .”

  I shook my head as Darla made her way back toward us. I wasn’t quitting my job for a man. Even if he was the man of my dreams and the father of my daughter.

  “Mommy, this is so good. You have to try it.” Darla shoved her straw toward me.

  I bent down and took a sip, feigning ecstasy. “Yum!”

  “Darla, see you next week? Maybe you and your mom will have lunch with me after the lesson?”

  “Yay! Can we?”

  The weasel; he’d gotten a dinner and a lunch out of me in two minutes flat. I really needed to put up some boundaries.

  “Darla, be careful of the straw,” was all I said in response. “Thanks, Drew.”

  Then I took Darla’s hand and hightailed it out of the posh club before I agreed to anything else.

  Drew

  On Monday, I hit the gym hard and then went to the office, avoiding any extra conversation with anyone. I was a man on a mission.

  After lunch, I pondered whether to text or call Jules. A call was more romantic, but a text more pragmatic. When it came to dealing with single moms, I was starting to realize pragmatic was best.

  DREW: Does tonight work? Were you able to get a sitter?

  I also considered asking my office manager, Marge, to watch Darla. I knew Marge’s family and where she lived. She was a nice lady, a soon-to-be grandma, a little soft around the curves, and she baked a mean brownie. Surely, she was better than this Molly.

  JULES: I did. Molly can come at six.

  DREW: Great. I’ll pick you up around six. What is Molly’s last name?

  This whole being-a-parent thing was eating away at me.

  JULES: Drew, let it be. See you later. Can we do something casual?

  DREW: Sure thing. There’s a great Middle Eastern place in town with a lot of veggie options. Sound good? It’s not fancy.

  I’d prefer to take her somewhere exclusive and expensive, show her how life could be with me, but that wasn’t Jules. She was nothing like the other women who had tried to worm their way into my bed to reap the fruits of my labor. Jules wanted nothing to do with my bed.

  JULES: Perfect.

  Forty–love, me.

  I left work around five, which was a bit unusual for a Monday, but I needed to shower and change. At home, not in my office. I had to attend to other needs so I didn’t blow my wad at dinner. And I didn’t mean on the check.

  At quarter after six, I arrived at Jules’s place. I was sure she didn’t want me to come up, but I did. As someone opened the door to her building, I jetted inside behind them.

  Something else I’ll have to deal with. Security.

  “Hey.” Jules answered the door out of breath, slipping a Tom on one foot and hopping on the other. “I’ll be ready in a sec.” She kept me at bay, only holding the door open a quarter of the way.

  “Can I say hello to Darla?”

  “She’s in my room watching a movie.” Lowering her voice, she whispered, “Let her be, Drew. This must be confusing enough to her.”

  “Okay.”

  When Jules shut the door in my face, I stepped back toward the opposite wall and leaned against the drab paint. Thirty seconds later, she came out, and I got to take in all of her.

  “Ready,” she said, but I barely heard her over my pounding heart.

  Dark skinny-jean capris covered her legs, and a long white tank hung off her right shoulder. She’d left her hair down, and big gold hoops tangled in her messy red hair. When my gaze made its way back up to her red-glossed lips, I reached out and swiped off the gloss with my thumb.

  “Sorry,” I whispered, and without thinking, I leaned in and kissed her. At first, she was reluctant, but then she gave in, moving her lips along mine.

  I nudged her gently back against the door, my front melded to hers, my dick seeking friction with any damn part of her. She opened her mouth to speak and barely got out a squeak before my tongue shoved its way inside. A moan rumbled up my chest.

  “Drew,” she finally got out.

  “Yeah?” I murmured against her mouth.

  “Not here,” she said after swiping her tongue along mine.

  I took that as a good sign, a promise of something more to come later. Maybe?

  With a gentle closed-mouth kiss, I ended it. “I couldn’t help it. I’ve been wanting to do that since . . . forever.”

  She giggled. “You’re getting cheesier and cheesier.”

  Like magnets with opposite forces, our lips were back together. She’d said not here, but that wasn’t what her lips were telling me. They were soft and not the least bit reticent when they met mine. She was hungry for me, and she opened greedily when my tongue sought entrance.

  I slid my hand down her side, over her clothes, and back up underneath so my thumb could trace her smooth skin. I wanted her here. Now. But she was better than that. She was the mother of my child, no longer my student. Not that she ever was. She’d been my player. Whatever.

  Our tongues melded and molded, a mash-up of the best kind. Moans harmonized in the hallway until I was the one who broke free.

  “Any louder, someone’s gonna call the cops.” I placed a chaste nip on her nose.

  She laughed, seeming relaxed. I liked that look on her.

  I laughed back. “By the way, I’m only cheesy when I’m with you. You make my whole brain collapse into nothing.” I took her hand and squeezed, pumping it over and over. “And you make my heart pound like fuck.”

  When she smiled and ducked her head, making her hair fall in a drape over her eyes, I brushed it out of the way. “Come on, let’s go.”

  “You got it, King.”

  We went downstairs and I opened the passenger door of my car. As she slipped in, I took a moment to stare at her before shutting the door.

  “This car isn’t very dad-ish,” she said when I slid into my seat.

  “I have an SUV too.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Of course you do.”

  I winked and turned the car on, letting the engine roar to life. Whoever said German engineering wasn’t the best, was wrong. Period.

  “You look great, by the way.” I kept my eyes on the road, but caught her sly smile in my peripheral vision.

  “Thanks.”

  “Want some music?”

  “Can we put the windows down?”

  “Sure thing.”

  I flicked the air off and opened all the windows. The evening air was still humid, but as we entered the highway, a breeze kicked up. Jules leaned into the headrest and closed her eyes, her hair blowing all around her face.

  “Like that?” My voice carried over the wind noise.

  “Feels like freedom. You could give me a million bucks, and it wouldn’t feel as good as this.”

  The burden she’d carried weighed heavy on her, but she wasn’t shaming me. She was sharing with me. Somehow I knew that as well as I knew my own date of birth.

  I wanted to answer, to say something profound, but I didn’t want to disturb her moment. So I let it be and she stayed like that, her hair blowing furiously and her eyes at peace until we exited the freeway.

  “Jules,” I said, drawing her out from her languor. “I want you to know, I’m here now. Whatever small moments of freedom I can give you, you need to ask me.” I stopped at a red light and turned, grabbing her hand. “You hear me?”

  She nodded. “It’s not easy giving up control. For the last six years, every sleepless night, every puke fest, and every glorious moment, it’s only been me.”

  “But you can. Look how good this feels. You’re practically having an orgasm from the wind blowing in your face.”

  The light turned green and I removed my hand to shift gears. “Imagine how good it will feel when I blow on your—”

  “Drew! Don’t say it.”

  “What?” I taunted her, enjoying the sexy smile on her face. “You’re
still a woman, right? Not only a mom. I’m sure you have wants and desires, and lucky for you, I know exactly how to find them. I just take the tip of my—”

  “Stop it,” she said over a laugh.

  I liked to make fun of Jules. Her cheeks pinked every time I got a rise out of her, and it never failed to make my dick hard. Crap, I needed to adjust myself in the worst way, and this car was a stick shift and I was coming to a light.

  “It’s not funny. It’s been a long time.”

  “How long?” I asked, both intrigued and hopeful.

  She shook her head. “Nope, not copping to that.”

  I turned to the driver’s side window and smirked. Since me, I think.

  “You hungry?” I needed a quick change of subject. My body was continuing to react in ways it shouldn’t when I was operating a motor vehicle.

  “Yeah, I am. It was a busy day. I played catch-up. Laundry, bills, groceries, and then getting ready for this. I’ve actually never done this, gone out for the night. Not since Darla.”

  I pulled into a parking lot and shifted into park. “I’m glad you agreed. I’d like to do it with Darla too. There’s this awesome ice cream parlor near the library, and a pizza place next door. Maybe we could do all of it. Oh, and there’s those water fountains that kids run through.”

  “How do you know all this?” Jules turned and looked at me, her brow furrowed. She shoved her hair back and scooped it into a bun.

  “I’m on the board at the library, and we had a meeting the Monday after I saw Darla for the first time. I couldn’t think straight, so I spent some time walking in circles around the area, and everything I saw . . . I wanted to do with her.”

  Jules didn’t say anything in response. I wasn’t sure whether her silence was out of anger or surprise, but I added, “And you.”

  Jules

  My head hurt, actually ached at the thought that he’d spent time wanting to do all that with Darla. My body also fully lit up, although it had already been somewhat aroused during the car ride. But now it was a fiery mess. I was an asteroid burning through the sky, and Drew . . . Drew was the source drawing me in.