The Strongest Little Brother’s Commonplace Encounters with the Bizarre?!

by Tsuyoshi Fujitaka

  Chiharu was empty-handed, and it didn’t look like she could have stashed it anywhere.

  She laughed again, cockily. “Just as sword arts can evolve to be without sword, so too has my art evolved to be without bow!”

  It didn’t make a lot of sense to him, but she sounded very proud of it.

  “Um, doesn’t that defeat the point of having ranged weapons?” Yuichi asked. Bows existed to let you attack someone else from afar, with no risk of retaliation. Without that, what was the point? It wasn’t the same thing as losing a sword.

  “Are you a fool, Yuichi Sakaki?” she exclaimed. “Battle is ever an unknown quantity! Bows get lost all the time! Are we then to be killed with no method of resistance? Our founder created methods to survive no matter what the situation! Besides, my bow exists in my heart! It’s hidden inside of my soul!” Chiharu thumped her chest. So she really was proud of it.

  “Fine,” he said. “If you want to fight, let’s get it over with!”

  Yuichi had no qualms about accepting a challenge from a woman.

  “Hold! I spoke to thee the name of my school,” the girl said. “In the name of battle etiquette, wilt thou not name thine?”

  “I don’t have a school!” Yuichi fired back, a bit too quickly. That was the one thing he didn’t want to talk about.

  The name of the martial arts style his sister had worked out was “Type-Zero Extreme Defense Arts,” but if he had to say it out loud, he would lose all will to fight. Thinking back now, he really should have talked with her about the name a little more.

  “Oh-ho! Surely you jest,” the girl mocked. “Even more inevitable, your certain loss has become.”

  “How is it certain?” Yuichi asked. “We haven’t done anything but talk.”

  “It was decided the moment I arrived here, for I came later than you! Such has the pattern been since the days of old, the days of Ganryujima! Ever has a late arrival signaled a victory flag! Well? Surely you’re annoyed that you didn’t think of that! Let that stress shave away at your ability all the more! On top of that, there are no circumstances in which one who does not name his art can ever win!”

  “I’m only annoyed by one thing here, and that’s the way you talk!” Yuichi exploded. “If you want a fight, bring it on!”

  Chiharu laughed again. “Then let it begin!” With that, she turned her back on Yuichi and began running at full tilt.

  “Huh?” Yuichi was confused.

  Chiharu was faster than her appearance might suggest; she arrived at the school building before he could even get his thoughts together.

  If he went after her right away, he could take her out with a single blow from behind. On the other hand, if he let her run away, maybe he wouldn’t have to deal with it... But no, he decided. If he just walked away now, she would probably make trouble later.

  This hesitation was Chiharu’s salvation... or perhaps it was part of her plan. If it was, he had to hand it to her. Her pompous, swift-talking attitude had shaved away at his enthusiasm and allowed her to get the drop on him.

  Yuichi quickly ran to pursue Chiharu. She was out of sight by the time he arrived in the building, so he tracked her using the reverberation of her footsteps. After walking down the hallway for a while, he sensed a presence from one of the downwards staircases. Yuichi had never been there before, but he knew it led to a basement storehouse.

  He turned to enter the stairway. Chiharu was already there, standing halfway down. There was an enormous bow in her hand, a compound bow used in Western-style archery.

  “I’m not sure what to comment on first... I thought you’d evolved beyond the bow? And why a Western-style bow?” Yuichi couldn’t help but ask.

  Chiharu cackled. “Got your guard down, didn’t I?! Western-style bows got more power, see? And they’re cooler!”

  “Have a little more respect for your traditions!” Yuichi shouted. Of course Yuichi, who practiced a mish-mash martial art, had no right to lecture her there.

  “Martial arts evolve to suit the environment!” Chiharu declared. “If better tools exist, it’s only natural to use them!”

  Chiharu held the bow parallel to the floor. It would just barely fit in the staircase.

  “If we made a drawing of this, archery otakus would lose their minds with criticism...” Yuichi muttered.

  She wasn’t wearing a yugake — the three-fingered glove used in Japanese archery — or the release used in Western archery. She seemed intent on drawing the string bare-handed.

  “Extend!” Chiharu shouted while Yuichi was still lost in thought.

  Needle-shaped anchors on both tips of the bow flew out, striking the concrete wall with a tremendous sound. Chiharu nocked the arrow.

  There was no head on it, suggesting she wasn’t trying to kill him — but still, it was as thick as a steel pipe. A hit from that would definitely be disabling.

  Chiharu then grabbed the string and fell backwards, as if she was going to topple down the stairs. Her body leaned back to be parallel with the staircase. (This happened to flip up her skirt to reveal her panties, but he wasn’t especially pleased by the sight.)

  “You think I’m heavy for no reason?” she shouted. “Weight is power! Yes, this is why! It is not at all because I love sweets!”

  “Um, shouldn’t you have done the preparations for this in advance? Like, before I showed up?” Yuichi asked. If this had been her plan, she should have set it up beforehand and fired the minute Yuichi arrived. He could be doing anything in the time it was taking her to ready and explain it.

  “Because it’s cool, of course!” she declared. “I wanted to show off the extension!”

  Something in the way she talked reminded him of Mutsuko. He was getting a sneaking suspicion that his big sister was involved in this gimmick somehow.

  “What’s your countermeasure if I just try to walk back into the hall?” he asked.

  The bow was fixed in place, so she couldn’t change the aim. In other words, if he wanted to avoid the attack, all Yuichi had to do was leave.

  “My countermeasure is... well... ah, I know! I’ll say you lost because you ran away!” Chiharu stammered, flustered. She hadn’t seemed to anticipate what would happen if Yuichi just walked away, or if he hadn’t come at all.

  “I’m starting to think I wouldn’t mind losing at this point...” Yuichi muttered.

  Even so, he hated to lose. Now that the challenge had been issued, he didn’t want to run away. He anticipated that Chiharu would also declare him the loser if he tried to stop her before she fired. That meant his only choice was to react after she did so.

  “Take this!” she shouted. The compound bow, stretched to its limits with her weight, released its arrow.

  As Chiharu tumbled down the stairs, the arrow tore through the air, letting out a howl as it went.

  Yuichi snatched it out of the air. The arrow hung there, inches from his face, trembling as if enraged.

  “Can we just say I won now?” He had known both the trajectory and the timing, so catching it had been simple.

  “Wh-What?” Chiharu looked up at Yuichi, dumbfounded, from the bottom of the stairs. It seemed she had only had the one arrow; she wouldn’t be firing at him again.

  “Urk... ah... I just realized I can’t set the bow back to normal!” she exclaimed. “I can’t get it home like this! I’m gonna get yelled at!”

  “That’s what you’re worried about?” Yuichi tossed the arrow aside, then descended the stairs. A weapon that couldn’t be reset after it deployed... it was sounding more and more like the work of Mutsuko.

  He knew it was none of his business, but Chiharu looked so pathetic that he decided he’d help her clean up.

  “Is it okay to break this?” Yuichi asked as he stood in front of the bow. He could probably retrieve it if he broke it in two.

  “Yes... inevitable that may be. Such a waste it is, but... yes. I’ll fetch some tools.” With that, Chiharu slipped past Yuichi and ascended the stairs. Once she had reached the
top, she whipped back around. “You fell for it, Yuichi Sakaki! This was all part of my plan! You see, clever schemes are a part of the Dannoura School! Now, I have you right where I want you!”

  “Plan? You were just panicking about it!” he exclaimed. She must have just thought of her new plan as she’d reached the top of the stairway.

  “Shut up! As long as I win, that’s all that matters!” she shouted. “Take this! Dannoura Flying Body Attack!”

  Chiharu leaped down at him.

  “Give a little more thought to the name!” he shouted.

  Her enormous mass — likely more than 100 kg — hovered in the air above him. It was an extremely intimidating sight. Chiharu turned her body horizontal to make his chances of escape all the less likely, and flew at him in a body press.

  It was a worrying trajectory. If she kept flying this way, she’d hit him right with her central mass. If he tried to climb down, he’d hit the bow, and even if he reached the bottom, the basement door was closed.

  If he was going to run, it would have to be up. He just had to get past her and run up the stairs.

  But Yuichi opted to strike back. He could catch her if he wanted to, but he refused to be so kind.

  Yuichi dropped his hips, stepped forward with his left leg, and struck up with his left fist.

  It was a tontian pao, a move from Bajiquan, more commonly known as an uppercut. It was generally used to hit someone’s jaw from below, rather than to counterattack against a fat person jumping down at you. Still, it could be useful in this situation.

  Yuichi’s fist hit Chiharu’s side. He then unleashed his next move, pulling back his left hand and kicking up with his right leg. The recoil of the kick brought his right leg down, and he then kicked up with his left.

  It was lian huan tui, another Bajiquan technique. Her fleshy mass finally lost its momentum and went flying back. Chiharu collided with the ceiling, then fell flat against the staircase.

  Yuichi had won.

  “Ugh... I-I lose... I admit it...” the fallen Chiharu said, looking up at Yuichi. She didn’t seem to be too badly hurt; her layers of fat must have absorbed some of the shock.

  “You said I’m the strongest here, so it’s admirable that you were brave enough to challenge me,” Yuichi said. “But if you wanted to test your strength, shouldn’t you have started with the weakest and gone up?”

  “Ah!” Chiharu’s eyes went wide. “I thought that if I beat the strongest person, it would mean my power level was over 18,000! That idea popped into my head, and I soon grew unable to think of anything else! I also thought that resolving things with one battle might save me time!”

  Well, she doesn’t seem like a bad person... a bit ridiculous, but...

  “Okay, whatever, but are you satisfied now?” He was pretty sure she was admitting defeat, but he had to be sure.

  “Ngh! Kill me!” she cried.

  “What the hell?!”

  “The winner has the right to have his way with the loser! K-Kill me! I’m ready! Do as you will!” As she spoke, she tore open her shirt. She had quite an ample bust, but that may have just been due to her overall circumference. It was hard to tell how much of it was breasts and how much was fat.

  She thinks I’m gonna molest her because she lost? Yuichi thought incredulously. She must have been playing too many porn games...

  “Um... sorry, but I’d rather not,” Yuichi apologized wearily.

  “Very well! Then I’ll let you join my reverse harem!” Chiharu seemed undeterred by Yuichi’s refusal.

  “Did you just demote me?” he burst out. “And harem? You’re kidding, right?”

  “You’ll be joining three turtles and one Pomeranian!” she declared.

  “Turtles and dogs? Those are just pets!”

  “Do not underestimate the Pomeranian! They have what it takes to survive in Tokyo Jungle!” she declared.

  “They can’t actually beat alligators and lions in real life! But I guess I should get something for beating you... Hey, could you answer a few questions for me?” he asked.

  “Interrogation, eh? Bring it on! I’ll answer even the most embarrassing of questions!” As usual, she was jumping to obnoxious conclusions, but he decided to ignore this and move on. He just had to deal with her the way he dealt with his sister.

  “How did you end up with those eyes? You weren’t born with them, right?” he asked.

  “No,” she said. “They awakened in me over summer vacation, without warning.”

  “Did someone give them to you?”

  “No, they did not. If I’d experienced such an incredible event, I should like to replay it now!”

  It seemed like she hadn’t been given them by an Outer, either. He wasn’t sure if this had something to do with the Evil God, but if she was possessed by a God Vessel, she could let them know when resonance was happening.

  “That bow you had,” he said. “Did you make it yourself?”

  “My elder, Sakaki, made it for me,” she said.

  “Dammit, Sis... why do you have to give dangerous stuff to crazy people?” Yuichi pressed a hand to his forehead and stared at the floor. He’d known it. His sister was the only person he knew who would have made something like that.

  “Did you challenge me to a fight knowing I was Mutsuko Sakaki’s little brother?” he asked.

  “What?! That’s right, you’re a Sakaki, too! What a fool I have been!” Her surprise was exaggerated, but it didn’t appear to be a lie.

  “Oh, come on. You should have realized it...” he sighed.

  “I’m afraid it’s not that easy,” she said. “Sakaki is not an unusual name.”

  “Compared to Dannoura, I guess it isn’t,” he said. “By the way, I’ve never seen you around before. What class are you in?”

  “1-G.”

  “Oh, the music curriculum,” he said. Seishin High School had a general curriculum, as well as a music curriculum and an economics curriculum. A through F were general courses, G was music, and H was economics. Since they had different requirements, the general courses and the music courses moved around at different times. That would explain why Yuichi had never seen her before.

  “I’m in the choir club, too,” she said. “The ones who called to me earlier are my friends from the choir club.”

  “Wh... What?” Yuichi asked, dismayed.

  “What? Why do you look so despondent?” she cried.

  It was only natural that Chiharu wouldn’t understand his reaction. Yuichi still wanted to join the choir club. But knowing that Chiharu would be there gave him pause.

  “Nothing... I was just thinking... that life can be really unfair,” he said morosely. “Anyway, I’m going now. Please, lay off the challenges, okay?”

  Yuichi slouched up the stairs and left the basement behind.

  ✽✽✽✽✽

  When Yuichi met up with Aiko again, he was acting very strangely.

  “So? Did you turn her down? What happened? And why do you look so sad?” Aiko pestered. She was a straightforward girl, so naturally, her first question was about whether or not he’d turned her down. When she’d seen the girl run away and Yuichi run after her, Aiko hadn’t been sure whether she should chase them or not. But, deciding things would get bad if she was seen, she had decided to wait where she was.

  The whole time she’d been waiting, she had been utterly restless. It didn’t look like anyone was confessing their love, but that had been the person who had sent the love letter. With no idea what was going on, Aiko had spent the entire time on tenterhooks.

  “Oh. I won,” Yuichi said.

  “Huh?” Aiko asked, unsure of how one could “win” a love confession. “I don’t really get it, but... hey, why are you staring at me?”

  Yuichi was staring at Aiko with an expression of simultaneous disbelief and relief. Feeling embarrassed, Aiko reflexively turned her eyes down, and glanced up at him.

  “Oh... I was just thinking, you’re so nice and compact, Noro,” he said. “It real
ly makes me feel safe.”

  “C-Compact? Safe?” Aiko said hesitantly, unsure if that was a compliment or not.

  It wasn’t until some time afterwards that she realized he was basically calling her short.

  Chapter 4: Fourth Week of October: The Yokai Fave-Stealer

  “Yokai... fave-stealer?” Yuichi tilted his head. Thanks to his sister’s hobbies, Yuichi knew the names of the major yokai, but he’d never heard about this one.

  They were in the survival club’s meeting room after class. As usual, Mutsuko was standing in front of the whiteboard, which was currently inscribed with names of yokai he’d never heard of: Blue Screener, Restart-Reroller, Fave-Stealer, Self-Accepter, Wall-Pinner, and so on.

  The people in the room were Mutsuko, Kanako, Yuichi, and Aiko. Natsuki hadn’t been showing up for club lately; any time class ended, she just headed right home. Yuichi was getting a little bit worried about her.

  The theme of today’s club meeting was yokai.

  “Yes! It’s a yokai that’s been causing a lot of trouble for people lately!” Mutsuko declared.

  “Yes! It is very terrifying!” Kanako agreed, joining in.

  “Judging from the names, they all sound like pretty sad yokai,” Yuichi said. “Like that pillow-turner one.”

  “The makura-gaeshi? That’s a very fearsome yokai, actually,” said Mutsuko. “Long ago, it was thought that human souls left their bodies while they were asleep, to travel to the world of dreams. The pillow was the gateway! So if you turned someone’s pillow over while they were sleeping, their soul couldn’t return to their body and they’d die! Of course, all the stuff about the soul has been forgotten, so now turning someone’s pillow over just sounds like a silly prank.”

  Yuichi remembered Makina mentioning something about the yokai he had fought during summer vacation being a subset of pillow-turner. That guy had seemed to eat souls, so Yuichi wondered if it had something to do with this legend Mutsuko spoke of.

  “But as legends drift and get abandoned, yokai lose their power, too,” said Mutsuko. “It’s believed that now, the pillow-turners don’t have much power left! But not the fave-stealers! They’ve only become more terrifying! There are people who believe yokai exist to explain inexplicable phenomena, so it’s natural we’d see new yokai arrive as civilization progresses! In other words, it’s a new breed of yokai for the internet era!”