The Strongest Little Brother’s Commonplace Encounters with the Bizarre?!

by Tsuyoshi Fujitaka

  Even so, when he considered what had happened yesterday, Yuichi did find her theory fairly plausible.

  “Um... you think it might have been that yokai again?” Aiko asked. “Maybe she was trying to atone...”

  Yuichi and Aiko exchanged a look.

  “Is she stupid?! What if she gets her account deleted?!” Yuichi hissed.

  “Yeah, it’s going a little too far...” Aiko agreed in a low voice.

  This was likely the work of the fave-stealer; the two were sure of that.

  The faves that had increased so suddenly immediately declined. The fiction site must have stepped in and taken measures.

  Kanako received no punishment. That was only natural, since she hadn’t actually done anything wrong. Besides, if her account had been deleted under false charges, Mutsuko would likely have taken action.

  Still, perhaps because she had gotten attention for it, her faves did increase a little in the grand scheme of things. And after that, Kanako never suffered a sudden spike or drop in faves again.

  But the Fave-Stealer could still be out there, stealing your faves, follows, and likes...!

  What an annoying yokai... Yuichi thought.

  Chapter 5: Fifth Week of October: Mika

  “I’m Mika, and I’m right behind y— bwaaaaah!”

  The moment it appeared behind Yuichi, he lashed out with a backfist.

  His senses told him that it hadn’t sneaked up behind him; it had actually appeared out of thin air. That meant it was some sort of supernatural being, which meant he didn’t have to hold back.

  A second later, Yuichi turned around, smartphone in hand. The thing he had sent flying had hit the wall, and now sat limply on the floor below.

  “What happened?!” Mutsuko cried, arriving in Yuichi’s room in a hurry.

  Yoriko, who he assumed had been downstairs watching TV, showed up a moment later.

  “Yu... did you bring another little girl here?!” Mutsuko said with theatrical shock.

  The person who had hit the wall and then fallen was indeed a little girl.

  “Don’t say it like that!” he shot back.

  It wasn’t as if it was his fault. He wasn’t bringing the little girls here. They just seemed to keep following him.

  Yuichi looked at the unconscious girl.

  Calling her a little girl seemed slightly deceptive. She looked about fourth grade age, and was done up exactly like the Dress-up Mika doll. The label “Mika Doll” hung over her head, as well, so that was probably exactly what she was.

  “Family conference time!” Mutsuko declared.

  “Again?!” Yuichi shouted in frustration.

  Yuichi hadn’t personally been involved in what had caused all this, but it had all started a few days back.

  They were having their survival club meeting in the usual room, where for once, Mutsuko was actually discussing something relevant to survival.

  There were five of them in attendance today: Mutsuko, Kanako, Aiko, Natsuki, and Yuichi.

  “Today, we’re gonna learn self defense techniques!” Mutsuko declared.

  “Wow, that’s pretty survival club-esque,” Yuichi snarked. He actually still felt it wasn’t quite there, but he swallowed his objection. The club was really just a place for Mutsuko to do whatever she wanted.

  “This will be a class for the ladies! Our club is full of cute girls, any one of which would make a tempting target for dangerous weirdos! So I’d like to teach you how to deal with gropers!”

  Yuichi glanced over at Natsuki. She certainly was a pretty girl, but he couldn’t imagine that she needed any such countermeasures.

  “What?” Natsuki looked back at Yuichi, her cold eyes reflecting their usual unknowable emotion.

  “Um, I was just thinking you probably already know how to deal with gropers...”

  Natsuki was a skilled fighter. Your everyday pervert wouldn’t stand a chance against her. Even a superhuman one, she could probably handle.

  “Really? I was just thinking I’d like to learn how to deal with stalkers,” said Natsuki.

  “You let one live in your house!” shouted Yuichi.

  There was a man who served as Natsuki’s underling in her serial killings. Yuichi didn’t know the details of their relationship, but it did seem as if they lived together.

  “I think stalkers are a bit of a different thing,” said Mutsuko. “That’s not really a self-defense problem... Ah, Yu, you might not have a lot to do this time around.”

  “Yeah, guess not,” Yuichi agreed. He didn’t really need self-defense techniques at this point.

  “Which means you get to be the groper! Come over here and glare at your sister with your bestial eyes of wanton desire!” cried Mutsuko.

  “Can’t you put that some other way?!” Yuichi stomped up to the whiteboard to stand facing Mutsuko. The club room was full of clutter, so this was about the only place where they’d have enough space to move around.

  “Okay! Well, I call it self-defense, but to be honest, stopgap self-defense tricks won’t be any help to you at all!” Mutsuko declared.

  “Did you really just say that?! What’s the point of the class, then?”

  “So, you might think it’s just a matter of having more in-depth knowledge, right?” Mutsuko added. “But you still hear about girls with long years of martial arts experience losing to guys who aren’t anything but strong.”

  “Um, so are you saying this is all meaningless?” Aiko asked.

  Yuichi agreed. If you could lose even after years of training, it was hard to imagine what the point of learning would be.

  “Well — and this isn’t just about women — if you end up freaking out in a real conflict situation, there’s not a technique out there that will do you any good,” said Mutsuko. “So the first thing to learn is presence of mind! That’s what you need! Not to panic! If you don’t learn that, any self-defense technique will be pointless!”

  Presence of mind. It was easy to say, but far more difficult to achieve.

  How well could you keep your head in a real combat situation? Yuichi had been through quite a few in his time, and even he couldn’t attest to doing that perfectly.

  “So, if a pervert attacks you, the first thing you should try to do is run,” said Mutsuko. “Don’t even think about fighting back! The next thing you do is call for help. That’s also something you can only do if you’re calm.”

  “This is more sensible advice than I expected from you, Sis...” Yuichi was impressed. He’d assumed she’d be rolling out the killing moves with glee.

  “You be quiet! Ah, and when calling for help, it’s better to shout ‘fire’ than ‘help me’!” added Mutsuko. “It increases the chance that someone will come. Of course, the psychological isolation seen in modern cities suggests that people might not come even then, so it’s still good to know at least a few self-defense techniques you can pull out for times like that!”

  “May I ask a question, Sakaki?” Kanako raised her hand.

  “Yes?”

  “What about strength differential between men and women? If men are naturally stronger, is it even possible for a woman to fight back against them? Um, I don’t really like saying this, but I’ve heard there are places where they’re taught that it’s better not to struggle, since it can get you killed.”

  “What the heck?” Mutsuko burst out. “That’s loser talk! Never just roll over for someone! Between playing dead and fighting, you should always fight! Even if casting off your pride would save you, what’s the point in living after that?!”

  “Um, do we really have to make this a life-or-death thing?” Yuichi decided to pour some cold water on Mutsuko’s growing fire. If he let her go on, she’d probably take the conversation more and more into the wrong direction.

  “Ah, sorry,” said Mutsuko. “You’re right. Certainly, there is a difference in the strengths of men and women. Individuals differ, naturally, but women on average have less muscle mass than men. That’s going to be a disadvantag
e, but I can also say it doesn’t matter too much. Let’s say a man’s strength is ten, and a woman’s strength is five. But if you want to kill someone, you only need a two!”

  “Sis, I really don’t think this is about killing...” Yuichi said.

  “What are you talking about? The potential to kill is a part of deterrence techniques!” Mutsuko declared. “What’s the point in just hurting them a little? Well, anyway! Just talking won’t get us anywhere, so let’s move to the demonstration! Okay, grab your big sister’s left wrist and give me your best sweaty panting!”

  “I’m not gonna pant!” Yuichi reached out with his right hand and grabbed Mutsuko’s left wrist.

  “There’re a lot of things you can do if you’re grabbed, but let’s go with the most orthodox one! This is sort of like the yorinuki technique of Shaolin Kempo!” Mutsuko opened her left hand, and without moving her wrist, dropped her elbow and pushed forward. That slightest of motions was enough to free her. She then used her freed right hand to strike Yuichi in the face.

  As it hit him, Mutsuko stepped forward, spread her feet, dropped her hips, and plunged her elbow into his solar plexus.

  “You said it was yorinuki! Where’d the elbow strike come from?!” Yuichi said angrily, after the elbow landed.

  “This is the yorinuki dingzhou! It’s a combination of Shaolin Kempo and Bajiquan!” she declared.

  “Don’t just cram stuff together like that!”

  “Aww, but I feel like, ‘I’m right in position! I’ve gotta go for the elbow!’ That’s how well they work together!” Mutsuko seemed very confident about the combination, but it didn’t seem suitable for a self-defense technique.

  Just getting your hand away was good enough; a proper dingzhou elbow strike would require a lot more training.

  “Um... but Sakaki doesn’t seem too affected. Does that move really work?” Aiko asked dubiously.

  It was true that an attack for self-defense wasn’t any good if it couldn’t cause the enemy to flinch.

  “Well... Sis’s attacks aren’t that tough,” said Yuichi. It was easy for him to endure an attack he knew was coming.

  “Yes, you looked surprised, but you could have dodged that, couldn’t you?” Natsuki asked, speaking as someone well experienced with Yuichi dodging her attacks. She clearly found it strange that he would let Mutsuko’s pitiful-by-comparison attack hit him.

  “Uh, yeah, I could’ve dodged, I guess...” Yuichi trailed off. Mutsuko’s martial arts skills were considerable compared to your average girl in high school, but they were nowhere near Yuichi’s.

  The reason Yuichi had let her attack land had to do with a certain compulsion in his mind, which told him that if he opposed his big sister, it would spell trouble later. Even so, he was hesitant to admit that in front of a bunch of girls.

  “Now, let’s see what happens if you’re grabbed from behind!” Mutsuko announced. “Noro, want to come up and try?”

  “Me?!” Despite her surprise at being named out of the blue, Aiko walked up to the whiteboard obediently.

  “Okay, Yu! Grab Noro from behind!”

  “Um, are you sure? Maybe you’d better do this, Sis.” Yuichi was hesitant. Even if it was just practice, it would still feel a bit awkward to grab Aiko from behind.

  “I-I’ll be fine! Don’t worry!” Aiko said, flustered.

  Yuichi timidly approached Aiko from behind, and wrapped his arms around her. He kept just enough distance so that they were only just barely touching. After all, given the difference in their heights, the most natural way for Yuichi to grab her would be her upper chest. That would be really awkward.

  “Hold her tighter! And do some sweaty panting!” Mutsuko ordered.

  “No way! And what’s with the panting obsession, Sis?!” Yuichi dropped his hips and wrapped his arms around her waist. He didn’t have to be breathing heavily to feel Aiko’s sweet aroma tickling his nose. It was making Yuichi even more tense.

  “Both of your arms are locked down in this position, but put simply, the areas you can move are your head, your legs, and your hips,” said Mutsuko. “If you’re close to the groper in height, you can try to break his nose with the back of your head! But in this case, you probably can’t reach. So Noro, drop your hips and spread your legs.”

  “Like this?” Aiko did as she was told.

  “It can be surprisingly easy to get away if you just go limp and sag, but let’s assume your opponent bears your weight,” said Mutsuko. “You’ll end up slouching forward. See, you might think you can’t move if you’re grabbed, but you can do more than you’d expect. Now, grab Yuichi’s leg from between both of yours. Once you have it, pull forward as much as you can, and when his leg is through... then squat down and break his knee!”

  “Okay!” said Aiko.

  “Don’t you dare! You too, Sis! This is crazy!” he complained as he restrained Aiko from following Mutsuko’s orders.

  “This is one way to make up the man-woman strength differential! Use your weight! Of course, this is only one situation,” Mutsuko added. “You never know how they might grab you, so it’s important to judge your opponent’s posture to find out what you can move and in what directions!”

  “So, would this work on Sakaki?” Natsuki asked coldly.

  “W-Well... I guess it wouldn’t work,” Mutsuko said awkwardly. “Ah, but you can kick your heel into his crotch! There’s no way to train the... balls...” But Mutsuko trailed off even as she spoke. She was probably remembering that that wouldn’t work on Yuichi, either. “Umm, s-so what about this, then? Yu, this time, try to clamp a hand around Noro’s mouth from behind!”

  As she said that, he cast a glance at Aiko. She nodded, so Yuichi did as he was told.

  He wrapped his right arm around her waist, and clamped his left hand over her mouth. It really did feel incredibly awkward.

  “This one’s much simpler, because your hands are free!” Mutsuko declared. “Noro, try grabbing one of the fingers on the hand covering your mouth, and breaking it!”

  “Yes, ma’am!”

  “Hey, Noro, don’t just do whatever she says!” Yuichi shot back.

  “H-Huh?! I can’t move it!” Aiko grabbed Yuichi’s index finger with both hands and applied pressure. Even if she wasn’t really trying to break it, it was still probably all the power she could muster. It just wasn’t enough to break a finger that Yuichi could do a handstand on.

  “Um, what I’ve observed is that there aren’t any techniques that will work against Yuichi...” Kanako said, in a statement that shook the very foundations of self-defense.

  “Which means that if Sakaki ever attacked a girl, she would be completely at his mercy?” Natsuki continued, delivering its finishing blow.

  “Oh, how can this be? I’ve created a monster!” Mutsuko cried.

  “You’re only realizing that now, Sis?!” Yuichi shouted.

  The self-defense class came to its end with the entire club feeling dispirited.

  ✽✽✽✽✽

  “Personally, Lady Aiko, I feel you require no self defense,” Nero said as he walked at her feet, in dog form.

  They were in the forest on Aiko’s family property, walking the long road from the gate to her mansion.

  “I guess not,” she said. “I just thought it would be cool if it worked.”

  “They say that ‘a little learning is a dangerous thing.’ And you have me to protect you, Lady Aiko.”

  “You know a lot about our local sayings...” Aiko had thought Nero came from another country. But if he spoke their language fluently, maybe it was natural that he would know the proverbs, too.

  After walking for a while, Aiko caught sight of some commotion going down in front of the mansion. There were a large number of people there, coming and going. Aiko walked in the front door cautiously, finding it all very suspicious.

  “Welcome home, my lady.” The maid, Akiko, bowed reverently as she arrived.

  “Akiko, what’s going on?” Aiko asked.

 
“Well... the mistress decided abruptly to throw out all the trash lying around...” Even the usually level-headed Akiko seemed a bit out of sorts.

  Aiko looked at the people coming and going. They were dressed in work clothes, and looked more or less like sanitation workers.

  “Did we have that much trash here?” she asked.

  “Well, ah... your mother seems to be considering anything she bought and left lying around to be trash.”

  Aiko’s mother, Mariko was a shut-in who did nothing all day but watch TV in her room. Home shopping programs were a particular favorite of hers, and anything she saw that she liked, she immediately bought.

  Those were the things Akiko was referring to. She had more health and beauty items gathering dust than Aiko could count. But while Aiko certainly thought they were useless, Mariko had always been stubborn about keeping them. It was a tremendous surprise to see her mother suddenly decide to throw them out.

  “Hmm, I think I’ll go talk to her.” Aiko climbed to the second floor, but instead of going to her own room, she headed to her mother’s.

  She opened the door without knocking and peeked inside.

  She was surprised.

  The windowless room, for once, was brightly illuminated. That allowed her to ascertain, immediately, that the room was almost completely empty. Even her mother’s beloved TV was missing.

  Standing at the center was Mariko, in a track suit, looking around the room with a satisfied smile.

  Mariko Noro was a pure vampire. Because of that, she couldn’t be out in the sun, so she spent the daylight hours locked up in her room. That might be why her skin had always looked so unhealthily pale, but today, she seemed very energetic.

  “Mom! What on earth is going on?” Aiko exclaimed.

  “Oh, Aiko! I’m decluttering! Decluttering! I’m bidding goodbye to my attachment to simple possessions! I never realized how good it would feel to throw everything out and tidy up!”

  “Um... well, I guess that’s okay... I mean, since it’s your own stuff you’re throwing out...” It still seemed a bit excessive, but when Aiko thought back to the cluttered state the room had been in before, she thought maybe it was fine, after all.