“C’mon.” Alex tugged at his waist and he knew it didn’t matter that he had no clue what to say, because there was nothing left he could say to change her mind. He let Bleu and Alex pull him toward the door. Maggie met him there with their coats. She pulled him into a hug.
“I’ll talk to her…and Dad. It might be rough though. I haven’t seen her like this since when Dad got shot. She’s probably just freaked out that we’re actually gonna have to talk about that night now, and whatever the hell else is going on.”
He grimly smiled down at her as she pulled away. “Yeah we never do talk about the real stuff, do we? Thanks, Mags. I love you.”
“Love you, too.” She turned to Alexis and Bleu, giving each of them a hug as well. “And I will be getting your phone numbers from Colt so I can get to know you both. Be warned, I’m a champion texter.”
They said their good-byes and left the house, piling into the car. Alexis drove. As they pulled out of the driveway and began to head back toward the house, Bleu reached up from behind the passenger seat and circled her arms around his chest.
“Thank you,” she said.
“For what?” Colton asked, gripping her arms closer.
“For being you. Being wonderful. And loving us.”
He turned back to her and this time his smile was genuine. “I’ll never stop.”
Chapter 17
Colton eyed the model house he’d been working on for years. His secret project. He’d rented the little studio apartment for just this purpose. It was small and quiet and had the most delightful bay floor-to-ceiling windows that let intense amounts of light in during the day. Not that it mattered since recently he’d only been working on the model and renderings at night.
This project was his dream home. It suited his needs and desires to a T and evoked the very essence of his personality. But that’s not what he wanted anymore. Ever since Bleu and Alexis, his needs and wants had expanded and his soul had evolved. And with his evolution came the evolution of his dream home. It was no longer just his, it was theirs.
Alexis thought all the little construction projects he’d done to his house was for them, to make a three-person living situation easier. In reality he had brought in a few real estate agents while Alex and Bleu were working and had asked them what would up the resale value. Alexis loved his home and Colt knew it would take a lot to convince him to move. He hoped that seeing the model and what their home lives could look like would make him cave. If not, the hefty selling price and how much it was going to cost to open up a new restaurant probably would.
Colton loved that house, he really did. But he didn’t want to live in Alex’s house or Bleu’s house or even his own house. He wanted to live in their house. Leaning against the floor-to-ceiling window and observing the subtle nuances of a sunset as its light bounced around the small studio apartment, Colt smiled. A true smile that filled him with confidence and joy at the thought of his lovers living in this house once it was realized. A thing of beauty.
A knock startled him out of his revelry. Only a few people actually knew about this address and he couldn’t fathom which one it was. His mother hadn’t spoken to him since the confusing dinner the night before and Maggie had texted, saying she was out of town for New Year’s. His dad would never be able to get there on his own. He opened the door. Well, he was right about one thing. He hadn’t come on his own.
“You have something you need to tell me, Colt?” His father looked almost as perplexed as he felt. His mother stood behind him, wearing a heavy down coat and knit hat.
“Call me when you need me to pick him up.” She smiled tersely at him and walked down the ramp he had installed leading up to the door, in case his father had ever needed a place to just escape and hang out.
His dad wheeled himself inside and parked near the floor-to-ceiling window. He waved to his wife as she drove away then turned that five-thousand yard stare at Colt. He felt like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Your mom is upset, Colt.”
“I know,” he said, sliding down a wall to sit on the floor, elbows resting on his bent knees. “I didn’t want to upset her. I didn’t want to upset any of you. I just…I couldn’t keep this part of myself from you guys anymore.”
“And what part is that?” his dad asked, eyes narrow and face lacking any sort of reaction or facial expression.
“Well…the–the bisexual part I guess. What did Mom tell you, exactly? What did Maggie say?”
“Your sister told me I needed to get my ass over here and talk to my son because apparently there is shit we need to discuss. Stuff that you felt you couldn’t come to me about. Your mother has said very little about last night’s dinner…which is how I know she’s upset.”
“She didn’t tell you what happened? What about what she said?” Well, now he felt like an ass for just blurting out his big secret, but he also wanted to get to the bottom of his mother’s upsetting behavior.
“No.” He squinted at him. “I’m guessing this being bisexual is the big secret?”
“Yeah.” He hesitated before thinking fuck it and just let the whole ugly, wonderful, complicated truth spill out. “And I’m dating a man and a woman…who happen to be Bleu Leroux and Alexis Mirskii. I love them. I want to spend the rest of my life with them.” He stared his father down, daring him to say one bad word about the loves of his life.
“Leroux and Mirskii?” He nodded, more to himself than to Colt. “That why this house looks a lot bigger than I remember it?”
“Has to fit the needs of three people…then, ya know, the possibility of kids…guests…although I’m thinking of just putting in a guest house and forgetting about all that shit. Who wants guests barging in on our privacy?”
“Now you know why I always hated your mom’s family visiting.” He chuckled, shaking his head. But he didn’t look Colt in the eye.
“Yeah. Listen, I know you’ve got some sort of issue going on here, something to do with Bleu. I can’t figure it out, but I know it’s big and I can see it’s driving mom a little crazy. She wouldn’t tell me anything. And what could you possibly have against Bleu? How could you not tell us about that first call at McNally’s?”
“I can’t tell you, Colton. It’s between me and the girl. Anyway, I didn’t tell you or your sister about that call at the time because I didn’t want you kids to blame some helpless junkie on what happened to me. She was just a kid. And after I looked into her background, found out who she was, I couldn’t let you form a grudge against her. She didn’t deserve it.” He wheeled his chair so it was facing the window.
“Found out who she was? You knew her before the accident?”
“Listen, the issues I have with Ms. Leroux are my own to deal with,” he said gruffly. “I realize I’ve been an ass about that, hiding from my own problems. But Colt, you’ve been hiding yourself from me for years. How long have you known this about yourself?” The look of hurt in his dad’s eyes nearly broke his heart and also made him forget about all the secrets he’d kept from him and Maggie over the years. Colt decided to jump this hurdle first and tackle the next later.
“Since I was a kid, probably. It was the most natural thing in the world for me to want men and women. I didn’t think it was weird until someone told me it wasn’t normal. I saw what lengths kids went to, to hide their sexuality from friends and family. I thought that’s what I had to do. I thought it’s what you would have wanted. You’re a cop for Christ’s sake. That shit won’t go down well at the station.”
“Colt, I’m retired. And since when have I discriminated against people because of their sexuality? I have given you no reason not to be able to trust me with something like this. To know that you’ve kept this part of yourself separate from us for so many years…it hurts. It hurt your mother. If Maggie didn’t have a hide of steel she probably would have been at least a little affected.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re my son. I’m gonna love you no matter who you date…or how many
of ’em. As long as you’re safe and there is love involved with whatever you have going. I just want you to have someone to care for you. You’re lucky I guess…if there are two someones.”
He smiled, thinking what an idiot he’d been to keep this from his father for so long. “I am lucky.”
“So…a threesome. How the hell does that even work?” His dad laughed at his embarrassed look. “I don’t want the mechanics, just…I don’t get it.”
“I know. That’s what Ma said. But when you see us together, when things settle down, maybe you’ll get it then.”
“Maybe. Tell me about them. Are they…doing well? Is she doing well?”
“Yeah. Bleu’s great, owns her own tattoo shop. Alexis owns and runs the diner, Annabelle’s…near the ferry.”
“Yeah…some of the guys at the station tell me they drive all the way out there for the burgers.” He chuckled in that raspy old man way his father had.
“Alex would love to hear that. Dad, why can’t you just tell me what happened with Bleu? And how is Mom involved?”
“It’s between me and Ms. Leroux. I need you to know, Colt…I love you no matter what. I’d love you even if…you didn’t think I was such a great guy anymore.”
“Dad—”
“No.” His father’s voice was harsh, brooking no argument. “I need you to know I’m ashamed of what I did concerning that girl and how I got your mother involved. I thought I was doing something righteous…taking the law into my own hands. She gets to know first, though. Can you tell me if she’ll be around tomorrow?”
Colton stood, pacing over to the model. “Dad…it is my concern. Bleu, for all intents and purposes, is my wife. She’s Alex’s wife. If you’re gonna do or say something that has the potential to hurt her, I want to know.” He turned back to his dad, arms defiantly crossed. “I need to know.”
“You will…if she wants to tell you. But I need to have this conversation with her first. She has that right. Please understand.”
Colton eventually nodded, conceding the point to his father, even though it worried him what he had to tell Bleu. “I love them, Dad.”
“I can see that. I see it in this house you’ve built. Is it done?”
“Maybe.”
Chapter 18
Bleu sat at a small table in the back and out of the way at the diner. She liked this spot when the guys were busy and not able to meet her for a while. It was quiet, or as quiet as a table in a popular diner could get, and she could spend hours at a time sketching with the calming background noises of customers eating a good and hearty meal. Sometimes it was just too riotous in her shop to concentrate. Other times she thrived on the noise and chaos. Not today.
For days, even through New Year’s, she hadn’t been able to keep the look on Colton’s mother’s face out of her mind. It kept circling and circling, making her feel as though she would never be worthy of her son. At this point she knew it was bullshit. She knew she loved Colton and Alexis with such a fire that some days she felt as though she would burn up from the intensity of her feelings for them. Now she just needed to convince herself that approval didn’t matter. She’d had dinner with Maggie a few nights this past week before she went out of town again and was coming to truly like Colt’s sister. She was a quirky, out-of-the-box young lady who loved her big brother.
“Mind if I have a cup of coffee with you?” Her hand froze over the line she was about to add to Liam’s new pinup girl tat. She looked up and directly into the hard eyes of Officer Evans. Eyes so similar and yet so different from his son’s. Her initial reaction was to leap up out of her seat and offer the man her thanks for all that he’d done for her ten years ago. But the evening at Colt’s house had been enlightening, even though Officer Evans hadn’t been there. She wasn’t going to beg for an audience with him anymore. Colt was right. This man had a secret and it involved her. A secret so severe he purposely ignored her for ten years.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I came to talk.” He moved one of the chairs himself and slid into the spot.
“Why? You’ve been avoiding me for years.”
He folded his hands on the table. “I went to see Colt the other night. He told me about how you and he met Alexis here…how you told him what really happened that night.”
“So?” she said, instinctively going on the defensive. “It was my story to tell.”
“I know, but you left out a little detail.” He placed his folded hands on the table, looking at her with a steady gaze.
“No—”
“We’ve met before, Bleu,” he said gently, not allowing her to hide from her past anymore. “Before the incident at the bar.”
“No,” she said vehemently, taking a sip of her coffee with shaking hands. “I would remember you.” She racked her brain, trying to think of how she could have met this cop when he was on active duty. She’d had a rough youth, but there was one incident she knew for certain cops had been involved in.
“Do you remember why you were at the bar that day?”
She shrugged. “I can’t remember any specifics about that day. I was probably pissed at something my aunt or uncle had said. That year had just sucked.”
“Sucked enough to make you shove glass into your ears?” he asked, doubtfully. It incensed her, shook her out of her cowering at the prospect of learning something else about herself she didn’t want to know. Something that made this man avoid her.
“Yes. It really fucking sucked. You could never understand the shit I’ve been through. You have no right to come in here, to my boyfriend’s place, and judge me.” She began to gather her things, fed up with the company and not willing to listen to anything else he had to say.
“I have kids, Bleu. I could only imagine what giving up a baby does to you.”
She froze. Her blood ran cold. Her breath was wrenched from her chest. Sweat pooled on her brow. Nobody knew about that. She’d made the conscious choice not to tell Alex and Colton because hurt too much to even think about it. “How do you know about that? Nobody knows about that…did you say something to Colton?” Her heart pounded at what her lover must think of her now.
“This is between you and me, Bleu. I told Colton exactly that when he asked me what my deal with you is.”
“So…this has something to do with…that?” She hated the quiver in her voice but she couldn’t help it. This topic, the one she kept closest to her heart, was the only thing he could have mentioned to make her stay. “With the pregnancy?”
“Not the pregnancy. With the birth. I was with the EMTs who got the call about you going into labor.”
She crossed her arms, checking to make sure none of Alex’s relatives were near.”I don’t remember the labor.”
“That’s ’cause you were so drugged up you wouldn’t have been able to recognize your own family let alone remember a stranger. You were screaming so loud the neighbors thought someone was bein’ axe-murdered in your house. Which is why the police were called.”
She didn’t remember any of this. She remembered waking up in the hospital and then… “Well…I’m sure my aunt and uncle were gonna bring me to the hospital. Which they must have since I woke up there.”
“They weren’t there. You were alone…in a locked room. Just screaming, sitting in a puddle from where your water broke.” He shoved his hands through his hair, a haunted look flashing through his eyes for a brief moment. Then it was gone and he got back to business, telling her about something she’d forgotten and would have rather never remembered.
“I–I don’t remember that. How can I not remember that?” She looked at him furiously, remembering something he’d said about that room. She did remember that room. “You’re wrong about one thing. I didn’t do or take any drugs while I was pregnant. I was…I was happy when I was pregnant. I thought of it as something good coming out of that awful mess. There was a couple we were gonna give the baby to. If it hadn’t died—”
“It didn’t die, Bleu,” h
e interrupted.
Her world stopped. “What?”
“Your aunt and uncle…who I thought were your parents at the time, found me at the hospital. They told me you were a wild child, running around and sleeping with people, doing drugs and drinking booze all night every night. They asked me not to tell you the baby survived. They said you needed to learn the consequences of your actions.”
“I don’t understand…”
“You were still hazy, but me and my partner at the time came into your hospital room and told you the baby didn’t survive.” His almost emotionless stream of conversation halted for a second. Letting her take it all in. This one massive lie that’s defined her guilt and shame for years. “To teach you a lesson. It wasn’t until later that I discovered your aunt and uncle were the ones giving you the sedatives…keeping you calm so you wouldn’t freak at being locked in a room for nine months. Which you pretty much were.”
“The baby is alive?” she asked, not caring about the rest. Later she’d think about how her aunt and uncle had been drugging her throughout her house arrest. Not now. The baby was alive. Her baby. It would be ten years old now.
“Yeah, he was pretty ill at the birth, but after a few months in the ICU he came out just fine.”
“He?” Her heart stuttered. A boy. She gave some couple a lovely boy to love and raise as their own.
“Yeah a boy. I checked in on him recently, after seeing you at the YMCA. He’s doing good. He’s happy. You picked a good family for him. They still gave him to that same couple you’d originally planned on.”
She smiled, thinking about that precious baby and what it had been like to feel the kicks and grumbles within her body. She remembered finding the couple, speaking with them and having their background checked. Then she remembered the pain of having some fuzzy face tell her the child had died…and it had been her fault. Reality rushed back into her brain, and she saw Officer Evans with crystal clarity. And she was pissed.
A Different Kind of Perfect (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 24