“Oh God,” she growled, curling her fingers into claws on the table. “How could you do that to me? How could you lie to me?”
“I thought you were a junkie who didn’t give a shit about your baby. I saw it all the time and for once I had the chance to actually do something about it. To maybe change your way of thinking.” The bastard was actually defending himself. “Earlier that week, that week, I watched as a drugged up mother tried to drown her baby in a toilet. I saw you, lying in that hospital bed, and thought this girl is just gonna keep doing drugs, keep getting knocked. She would end up like that crazy woman drowning her baby. I couldn’t let it happen and I had a chance to stop it. To teach you a lesson about consequences.”
“That’s what made me a hardcore junkie in the first place! I thought I was doing better during the pregnancy. It gave me something to hope for. This life that I had created, something positive out of the shit situation it came from. Then it died. And you—it was you who told me it was my fault. I didn’t understand why!” He turned his face from her in shame or embarrassment, she didn’t know and she didn’t care which. She needed him to look at her, to see her. She slammed her hands on the table, forcing his gaze back to her. Angry tears streamed down her face. “I was a child and I was raped and left for dead in an alley. And you took advantage of my youth and naiveté…just like they did. Just like my aunt and uncle. For what? Your fucked up sense of justice?” Something didn’t add up, there was a detail here she was missing. Something that made this worse. “I looked at those medical records. They said the baby died. It was written there, in the file. How could that be?”
“I did that.”
“You wouldn’t have had access to those files unless you issued some sort of subpoena or warrant and I don’t think you would have gone to those lengths just to lie to me.” She leaned in close, glaring at the man who had caused her to spiral in a drug-fueled haze after thinking her baby had died, because of something she did to it.
“I’m not telling you how I did it.”
“You’re protecting someone,” she whispered furiously, aware of the looks they were getting form concerned customers. “Who helped you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said. God, did he even feel any remorse for what he had done? What he made her think?
“How can you say that to me?” Bleu pulled her hair back, revealing her scarred ears. “You did this to me. I blamed myself for that baby’s death. Maybe I had smoked a little too much pot before getting pregnant, drank too much. Something I had done wrong while being pregnant. I figured if I couldn’t do anything right, if I couldn’t do that one thing right then what was the point? I was high that day, Officer Evans, because I wanted it to end. Because I killed that baby.”
His mouth tightened in the first sign of regret she’d seen the entire conversation. “I thought I was doing something for the greater good.”
“You took my life in your hands, a life you knew nothing about, and you decided to play judge, jury, and executioner.”
“You need to leave,” a voice said next to the table. Bleu looked up to see Pete, one of Alexis’s many cousins, standing threateningly with his arms crossed, looking down at Officer Evans in his wheelchair. She felt a hand come down upon her shoulder and turned to see Daniela, giving Colt’s dad the same look of disgust. She took the comfort her new family offered and stared right with them at Colton’s father. Knowing that child was alive was a blessing. All the years wasted in an angry and depressed haze, blaming herself for the child’s death, were a curse.
“I’m sorry if we’ve disturbed the customers—”
“Get the fuck out,” Daniela said quietly, cradling Bleu to her side. “She’s family. You’re not. The only one upsetting the customers here is you.”
“I’m an officer—”
“We know who you are, Officer Evans. You saved our cousin’s life once,” Pete said before leaning down on the table and pointing his finger in Officer Evans’ face. “Which is the only reason I’m not beating the shit out of you right now for making Alex’s girl cry. If Alex were here right now he’d be telling you the same thing. We would appreciate it if you left. Don’t make a scene.”
He looked to Bleu one last time, his tough policeman façade fading away, and she finally saw genuine regret and sorrow for what he had done reflected in his eyes. “This is why I’ve avoided you. I did a terrible thing. I knew that the second I recognized you…so young and hurt at that bar. You were screaming from pain, crying for your baby. Saying how sorry you were. Repeating that it was your fault over and over. You’re right. I betrayed your trust as an adult and as an officer of the law. I’m sorry. I’ll never be able to make it up to you, but I will always be sorry for what I did to you.” He paused for a moment before continuing, a regretful smile tainting his would-be handsome face. “Colton’s a lucky man. You’ve become a fine young woman.” With that last peculiar parting statement, Officer Evans turned and wheeled himself out of the diner.
“You want us to call Colton or Alex, B?” Daniela asked kindly, wiping a tear away from Bleu’s cheek she hadn’t known had fallen.
“No,” she said, wiping at her cheeks to find many more tear tracks. “Thank you, both of you, for that. I appreciate it and I’m sorry for causing such a scene. He just made me so mad.”
“No worries. Our customers like to see a little drama every now and then.”
She smiled weakly at Pete’s joke. “I’m gonna head home. Don’t mention this to Alex or Colt, OK? I don’t want to upset them.”
Pete clapped her on her back as she stood, gathering her things. “Yeah, you’re dumber than you look if you think we’re not gonna tell our cousin about this.”
“Seriously,” Daniela said, handing Bleu her purse.
“Welcome to the family.” Pete grinned, helping Bleu to the door and walking her to her car where it was parked in the back lot. He offered to give her a lift, but she wasn’t intending on actually going home. After today the thoughts she’d been having on adding a new chapter to her tattoo had been clearly justified. Turning out of the parking lot she made the left to get to the highway and head north instead of right to head home.
* * * *
“This happened here? In my diner? Why didn’t you call me the second you saw her upset? I was only at my house. And Bleu never came home. She’s not answering her phone.” Alexis was pulsing with anger upon hearing the news of that afternoon’s argument between Bleu and Officer Evans. He’d just walked into the diner with Colton to meet Bleu for dinner and had instantly been barraged with questions on how Bleu was feeling. Of course he had no clue what anyone was talking about since she never came home.
“Did anybody hear what he said to her?” Colt asked Pete before turning back to Alex. “He told me he just wanted to talk to her, explain. That ass…I knew I should have forced him to tell me what was up,” Colton said, looking just as, if not more, furious on Bleu’s behalf. He pulled Alexis to him, forcing him to stop his frustrated pacing. “How many times have you called her?”
“Close to a hundred times by now.” The sensation of Colt’s fingers slipping through his hair was calming but not enough to contain his worry for their lover. “You think she went back to her apartment?”
“No. All her stuff is pretty much at your place. She’s just got some furniture she needs to get rid of.”
“We should check anyway.”
“Yeah and I’m gonna try calling my dad again, just in case.”
They rushed out of the diner and proceeded to drive around the island, searching various locations for their girl. Checking her apartment first to no avail, then to the YMCA since it was near her place and then to the shop. Looking back, Alexis would chuckle at their crazed antics, worrying about her like some lost child. She was an adult and could take care of herself. They didn’t need to know where she was at every moment of every day. That was suffocating. But in the moment, all Alexis could think of was the butt of that gun hitting her head again, and the way her body dro
pped to the floor with a sickening thud.
When they arrived at the tattoo shop, it was buzzing with its usual soundtrack of music, low chatter, and tattoo guns. Bleu wasn’t at her workspace and her car wasn’t parked in its usual spot out back. After asking some of the artists if they’d seen her since that morning when she’d unlocked the space, they all replied with a negative.
Alexis grabbed Colt’s hand and rubbed his knuckles in a nervous gesture with his thumb. He was really starting to worry now and having Colton near was the only balm to soothe the panic churning in his gut. As they headed back toward the car, he overheard a man asking after Bleu at the reception desk. She replied with the general response of the owner not being in today.
Alex looked at the strawberry-blond man and an odd feeling of familiarity struck him. The guy met his eyes, feeling Alex watching him, and gave him a short nod and smile before turning back to the pink-haired receptionist saying, “Well when you see Bleu I’d much appreciate it if you let her know Amedee stopped by to see her.”
Colton pulled Alexis through the front door, not having noticed the interaction, intent on getting back in the car and searching for her. Alex looked back as the man, Amedee, came out of the shop and turned toward a car with his hands in his pocket. Alex couldn’t keep his curiosity to himself.
“Wait, Colt…hold on.” He got out of the car and waved the man over as he paused by his car. “Hey!” He called with a nod, meeting him halfway across the lot. “Were you looking for Bleu?”
“Yeah,” he replied vaguely, looking between the two men.
“You a client?” He pursued, not appreciating the terse response when he was in such a rush.
“Nope.”
“Listen, man—” he began, feeling mighty pissed off and glad there was some unsuspecting schmuck he could take his anger out on.
“Amedee?” Colton asked, coming up from behind Alex and holding his forearm.
“Yup. Who’s askin’?”
“Amedee, drop the Southern shtick. Bleu told me you guys do that to piss people off. I’m Colton, this is Alex. We’re lookin’ for Bleu. Have you spoken to her today?”
He immediately straightened out of his slouch and his nonchalant Southern gimmick vanished. “Naw, I was just droppin’ by to say hi. She OK?”
“Yeah…she got into a fight with my dad earlier and now we can’t get in touch with her. She’s not picking up her phone and we can’t find her at any of her usual spots.”
He relaxed, the worry vanishing from his demeanor. “You guys ain’t never lived with a woman before have you?” At the shake of both their heads, he grinned and turned back to his car. “I’m sure she’s fine, just stewing about something. If she doesn’t turn up by late tonight gimme a call and I’ll come help you look for her.” Before getting into his car he turned back to them. “If you hurt my baby sister I’ll kill the both of you.”
“We could say the same about you and any other family who decides they want to mysteriously be in her life again all of a sudden,” Alexis responded calmly, not wanting to scare Amedee away from Bleu. She was excited about the prospect of this new relationship but Alexis and Colton continued to be wary. “She’s a part of our family now, and we look out for her. Got it?”
He grinned and shook his head. “Got it. Tell her to call me later.”
Colton and Alexis were moderately reassured by Amedee’s calm reaction to Bleu’s MIA status. They decided to give up the search for the evening and wait for her to call or come home. So they drove back to Alex’s house. Walking up to and unlocking the door, Alexis turned to Colt.
“Should we call the police?” he asked, brow furrowed, trying to think of what the next step should be in case she didn’t come home that night.
“No. I’m sure she’s fine. We’re probably just overreacting. I’m gonna try Dad again and ask what the fuck it was he said to her,” Colt said, pushing the door open.
Alex stopped Colt, hands gently cupping his face, and leaning in for a sweetly reassuring kiss. It had the potential to build into something more, an outlet for their worry and concern over what sort of state Bleu had gotten herself into. But before it could move beyond reassurance and into a desperate need, it was interrupted by an abrupt wolf whistle sounding from the bench window in the living room.
With a part-relieved, part-angry groan, Alexis ran over and swept their lost blue fairy up into a hug, her legs wrapping around his waist. “Where the fuck have you been?” He kissed her forehead, her temple, her nose, her eyelids. Anywhere on her face that he could get to, he kissed. “Nine hours, Bleu!” He turned and sat back on the window bench with her in his lap. He felt Colton slide in behind him, cradling him and Bleu in between his legs.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I visited my friend who does my tats. It was a bit of a drive. I left my phone here this morning and I’m an idiot and don’t have your numbers memorized.”
Colt leaned his head over Alex’s shoulder and flicked her nose in annoyance with her space-headedness.
“You could have looked up the diner’s number online and had somebody at the diner get you our numbers or relay a fucking message at least. When Pete told us what happened—”
“Thought I’d go on a bender?” she asked sarcastically.
“No. Wait. You were at your friend’s shop?” She nodded. “The one who you won’t tell us whether or not you slept with?” Alexis could feel his jealous hackles rising.
“Great. You have such confidence that I didn’t fall off the wagon but you think I’d cheat on you? What is your obsession with this?” She tried to wiggle out of his lap but they both wouldn’t let her move away.
“That’s not what I said,” Alex claimed, taking her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him.
“You’re implying it,” she said, angrily shoving his hand away.
“We know you would never cheat on us,” Colt said, leaning over Alexis’s shoulder again, nipping her bottom lip. “Alexis was just worried about you. We both were. I’m sorry my dad upset you, Bleu. What did he say?”
She sighed, her ire visually deflating at the reminder of the encounter. Her voice was small and her gaze averted when she spoke again. “Remember I told you about…what happened at a club when I was fifteen, and…being under house arrest by my aunt and uncle for a while because they didn’t trust me not to go all crazy teen on them?” They nodded, wondering where she was going with this. “I didn’t really tell you the whole story.”
“What do you mean, baby?” Colt asked, reaching over to rub her arm.
“Let me get this out.” She pushed off Alex’s lap and began to pace, wringing her hands. Just when Alex was going to burst with needing to help calm her nerves, she stopped and turned to them. “I got pregnant.” When they didn’t say anything, she continued. “They brought me down to the city and kept me under house arrest during the pregnancy because they were ashamed and embarrassed. That’s what they told me. What I didn’t remember was that they also kept me sort of drugged during the nine months because they thought I would try to run away. I remember that now, though. Your father told me that.”
“Is that what upset you?”
She shook her head, crossing her arms under her breasts. “I was told by a cop in the hospital that I’d lost the baby due to complications from drugs. The labor was a blur…I don’t remember much.”
“Fuck, baby.” They moved to comfort her but she stopped them, looking at Colt with an expression of such agony. Her hands clutched her chest, like she was trying to keep her heart in her body. Or trying to stop it from breaking.
“Well…turns out it was your dad, Colt, who told me that. But it wasn’t true. The baby is alive…and the couple I’d originally planned on adopting it to have him. Him. A boy. All this time I was so guilty. I thought I’d killed my baby because I was such a fuck up. I mean, he was never going to be mine, but while he was inside me it was my responsibility to take care of him. And I fucked that up. Or at least that’s what I thought. But
I didn’t. I did something right. Then your dad told me he died and…two months later I shoved glass shards in my ears.”
She didn’t stop them that time when they went to her, engulfing her with their strength and love. Alexis crouched down, resting his head against her soft belly and kissing her, loving her for the strength she’d cultivated to overcome the shit in her past. Alex felt more than saw Colt move behind her, wrapping his arms around her chest, pressing kisses to her neck and cheek. One of Bleu’s hands swept through Alex’s hair, he rested his chin on her belly smiling up at her. Her other hand was gripping Colt’s wrist.
“You’re not a fuck up,” Alex said, nuzzling her stomach, making her smile. He loved her smile.
“I know that now. But after I thought I’d lost the baby, I was so depressed…I took every drug I could find to make the pain go away.”
“Why would he tell you the baby died?” Colt asked. “I don’t get that.”
“He said something about teaching me a lesson, that he saw me as some potential junkie and …I don’t know. I was so mad that they lied to me and happy that the baby lived. I just couldn’t really focus on anything else. I really freaked out in front of all the customers.” She hesitated before continuing, looking apologetically into Colt’s eyes. “And Colt, I think he had your mom cover up the survival of the baby in official hospital records. I went back to see my file and what had happened with the baby after I’d recovered. It was all there. The death…only someone who worked at that hospital could have done that. Altered those records. I think that’s why she didn’t want me around, because she was overcome with guilt.”
Colt pulled away from her, walking over to the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Alex stood and slung an arm over Bleu’s shoulders, kissing the top of her head as they followed him. “And this is why my dad has avoided you for years as well. He feels guilty.” Colt rubbed his face, frustration evident in every tense muscle.
“He didn’t realize what he’d done until after the incident,” Bleu said, walking over and rubbing his back. “I think he looked into my background, saw how I got pregnant, looked into how fucked up my aunt and uncle were. That’s when he felt guilty. Then he saw me again at the bar that night. All these years I thought I was the failure…that I was the one who had to apologize. He should have said something. He could have told me so many times.” She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, Alex moving in on her other side to lean on the counter with them. “What do we do now?”
A Different Kind of Perfect (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 25