In Love by Design (The Adventures of Anabel Axelrod)

by Ellen, Tracy

  I smiled briefly and pointed a piece of spring roll in her direction before dipping it in the chili pepper sauce. “What can I say; I’m a curious kind of girl.”

  Pam slumped down again and continued playing with her soup. She brought the spoon to her mouth, swallowing a tiny amount and then said, “Carter did say he loved me and for years that was enough. This big, important man loved me, treated me like I was made of glass, our families approved, and I felt safe and protected.”

  Her odd words brought Carter to mind. Big was an apt description. He reminded me of Jack Banner with his blonde, Teutonic looks, but Jack was still in fighting shape at close to fifty. Carter’s bulk had gone soft around the middle before thirty-five and last I saw, he’s balding, too.

  The important man aspect of Carter’s curb appeal has always eluded me. I’ve never understood why people born into wealth and position think they’re such special creatures. Usually, it’s such a detriment in life to the formation of any interesting character traits that I considered it almost a handicap. Give me a self-made man any day and I’ll show you a man that knows what’s important.

  Pam switched food and played with her half of the spring rolls, breaking it apart with her fork. “I really think the blinders started coming off about the time we were getting married, but Carter had waited nine years to propose!” She glared over at me and popped a piece of the appetizer in her mouth. Talking with her mouth full, she stated, “Hell if I was giving up on us after all those years of hoping. This was my dream come true!”

  “Ah yes. The Dream Plan wedding syndrome, I know it well,” I said with a sigh.

  Pam threatened me with her fork tines and I raised my hands in mock defense while saying, “Hey, if you’ll recall, I was part of that disgusting extravaganza you called a wedding and actually loved my bridesmaid dress!”

  “You’re nothing but a Dream Plan basher!” Pam accused, and then the bravado disappeared. Swallowing, her bottom lip quivered. “I do have good fashion sense, don’t I, Bel?”

  “Buck up, Pammie. Your taste in clothes is second to none,” I grinned a little, “bar mine, of course. Do we need to hunt somebody down for hurting your feelings?”

  She nodded solemnly. “Carter’s mother is an original mean girl and my sisters-in-law are just like her.”

  I thought of Luke’s darling parents and his only child status and sent a quick prayer of thanks out into the Universe. I thought of Luke dealing with my family and all our shenanigans and giggled.

  Our server brought our entrée of spicy Pad Ped, already divided onto two plates. She topped off our waters and then left us alone.

  “After hearing this conversation between Carter and his father, it opened my eyes. I realized I’ve been living a lie. Carter doesn’t love me. I don’t have a real marriage.” Pam waved her deadly fork. “Bel, it’s been a hard truth to swallow, but the main reason my husband married me was to please his father. We hardly even talk now, let alone have sex, but I’ve realized something else whenever I think of divorcing Carter. We live two separate lives and have since the beginning. I don’t know what he’s doing most of the time,” Pam gave a low, nasty laugh, “and he certainly doesn’t know what I’ve been doing these last months. Divorcing Carter will hardly cause a ripple in my life and how sad is that after twelve years together?”

  I wanted to get to the good part of that nasty laugh and find out what Pam’s been up to these last months, but go with the flow.

  “Very sad,” I agreed quietly, taking a sip of water to cool off my mouth from the spicy food. The day-by-day commitment Luke and I have makes more sense every time I talk with my married friends. I’d be willing to up the ante to a month, but that would be the max. “Are you positive about this, Pam? You don’t want marriage counseling?”

  “I’m very positive I want a divorce. I have a lawyer on it already. We have a pre-nup, and without kids, everything’s cut and dried.” Pam speared a bite of chicken. Chewing slowly, she said, “If the family wasn’t spending all their time putting out financial fires on all sides, I wouldn’t still be living there. Since Carter’s never around or I’m gone flying, I’m taking my time and putting aside money.” She shrugged listlessly, drained of anger after telling her story. “I have my eye on a condo in Burnsville that will be available in February.”

  I gritted my teeth, but my offer was sincere. “If you need a place to stay for any reason, let me know.” Pam mistily smiled her thanks in acknowledgment and I asked, “Have you ever considered if Carter is having sex with women his father wouldn’t approve of like prostitutes, or if maybe he’s gay and in the closet?”

  Pam’s blue eyes rounded in shock. She may fly the friendly skies for a living and be close to thirty, but in many ways Pam was still the sheltered, small town girl from our childhood.

  “No, I’ve never considered either of those things, since he’s never been able to keep a stiffy! I just thought he took his aggressions out on animals, since he likes to hunt a lot…” Her voice hesitated and she whispered loudly, “My God, are you thinking “Brokeback Mountain”, Bel?”

  I laughed and said, “I’m not thinking anything. I was just curious what you’ve thought over the years, since you know Carter best.”

  “Not that!” Pam exclaimed, cracking her knuckles in nervous agitation.

  “Okay, here’s another question for you. Do you think the Ogelbachen’s are in serious money trouble?” I asked, mainly to take her mind off Carter spooning in a sleeping bag, but also there’s a wee bit of nosiness, too. I was always interested in the financial world and was curious what could be happening to cause this uproar Pam’s described in their lives.

  “Honestly, I haven’t paid much attention. I’ve heard arguments about large amounts of cash missing and something about access to land maybe?” Pam answered with disinterest, unconsciously taking another bite of her lunch. “Carter’s younger two brothers are complete morons, so I’m not surprised they’re having problems with their businesses.” Then she sniggered. “I’m being the mean one now, but I find it funny that Carter’s youngest brother has run his “upper class” wife’s family business right into the ground.” She added with a big smile, “It’s nice to know that soon I won’t have to sit at family meals and listen to them bitch and bicker about Delta Airlines ruining their travel business, as if I’m personally responsible!” She scoffed, “It’s not like it’s a national secret that Carter’s brothers also gamble and leak money like sieves. Father Ogelbachen has bailed them out numerous times in the past.”

  “Holy Moly, I had no idea how miserable you’re life has been with this family,” I sympathized, shifting in my seat. My butt was healing, but sitting in one spot for too long got uncomfortable and these chairs were hard.

  There was something floating around in my brain I wanted to ask, but Pam rushed on speaking and I lost my train of thought. “Oh, please don’t feel bad. I haven’t let anyone know how crappy things were in my life.”

  I raised my brows. “Were?”

  She looked around furtively. Voice lowered, she said, “I was depressed after hearing Carter and his dad. You don’t know how lowering it is to understand that I’ve been used all these years. Then, like I was telling you, there was this man on a flight and the attraction was unbelievable.” She smiled impishly. “You know what a flirt I am. Men take it seriously and hit on me, but I’ve always been faithful to Carter. This time I didn’t resist.” She breathed out in awed wonder and murmured, “And ooh-wee, the sex…!”

  Expecting to hear about hearts and flowers, Pam almost made me snort tea through my nose when she said, “We were like two jungle animals mating for the first time! He actually smelled me between my legs, SMELLED ME, and then we literally tore each other’s clothes off. We did it five times, FIVE TIMES, in two hours.”

  I eyed my friend askance and said, “You’re single-handedly ruining all my theories on one night stands.”

  She sat back with a triumphant smile and delivered the coup
de grâce, “We lost the damage deposit on the room!”

  “Bloodstains?” I asked, apprehensively.

  “What? No!” She covered her mouth and giggled. “He wasn’t violent, just athletic! We broke a lamp and tore down the curtains!” She stated proudly, “We had to order T-shirts from the hotel gift shop to be sent up by room service before we could leave!”

  I stopped listening at the word “athletic” and passed my phone over again. “Here, take another look at my boyfriend. Are you sure he doesn’t look familiar? Imagine him with different hair or…”

  Pam laughed in puzzlement, even as she took my phone and looked closely. She shook her head, passing the phone back. “You can’t disguise that nose. I have never seen that nose before on any man. What’s wrong with you anyway?”

  “Nothing’s wrong.” I smiled down at Torquemada’s image. We were sitting together at the dining room table and his hand was up my skirt, not that Anna knew this when she was snapping away. “His nose is pretty bossy.”

  “Okay, I have got to meet this man. I’ve never seen you act this way!” Pam declared and jumped up in her seat. “What are you guys doing tomorrow night? I have this thing I can’t get out of, so let’s all go to dinner and make it fun!”

  “All?” I asked warily.

  “Yes, Carter won some sportsman prize for shooting the most of some poor animal,” she waved off the pesky details, “and there’s an awards banquet at the Porterhouse in Lakeville. The place will be packed with his crowd, but the food will be great and the booze will be free.”

  “Oh, I am so not down with that, Pam! That doesn’t sound fun!” I laughed in horror. “You and Carter…”

  She reached across the table, grabbing my hand and interrupted, “I know, I know, but it’s not like we hate each other. Carter doesn’t know of my plans to divorce him yet.”

  “Oh, well, count us in then. Not!” I said, rolling my eyes.

  Pam laughed while clarifying, “I meant that I gave my word I’d go and Carter’s counting on me. These things can get boring for me and I could use the moral support.” She sang in a wheedling tone, swaying my hand to and fro, “Come on, you and I can dress up and spend time together. We can flirt with all the men at the bar. We’ll have a few cocktails and I’ll meet your man.” She wiggled her nose. “I can check out his nose!”

  Pam’s determination was legendary. Add that to her flirting and people-pleasing tendencies and it explains why she’s such a hot commodity at charity events. She keeps the drinks coming and smiles naughtily the whole time she badgers men into writing bigger checks than they intended.

  I pulled my hand back, but she interrupted me again before I could say anything. “Call him! What was Beefcake’s name again--Luke? Call Luke right now and if he says yes, then you have to agree to come.” She leaned forward and added with a big, challenging grin, “Deal, Axelrod?”

  Sometimes having old friends that know your Achilles heel was a pain, but I had a hard time keeping my own grin under wraps.

  There was no way I could lose this deal, so I asked nonchalantly, “That’s fine and good for you, but what do I get out of this deal if he says no? After all, I don’t want to go to some boring sportsman’s banquet, regardless if Beefcake does.”

  Pam belted out a laugh that’s surprisingly deep for such a slight woman. “Ah, Bel, you sure know how to make a girl feel special!”

  I stayed silent, smiling, and her eyes got squinty. “What do you want?”

  “Agree you’ll read the romance novel of my choice,” I answered, promptly.

  “Strange, but deal,” She said at the same time I added, “Within one week of receiving and skimming no words.”

  “Shit.” She hesitated, and motioned to my phone. “Speaker phone?”

  I nodded.

  “Deal. Call him,” Pam ordered, smiling a little more nervously. She really hated to read.

  I called Luke and the phone rang once.

  “Anabel. Miss me so soon?” asked Luke in a voice that conjures up silk sheets and velvet pillows, and I felt enveloped in testosterone.

  I said without preamble to my Prevaricator, “Empress.”

  The smile could be heard, even though his voice was serious. “Khan.”

  Pam’s looking confused, but I said, “You’re on speaker phone. I’m supposed to ask if we’d be interested in joining my friend Pam and her husband, Carter, for a sportsman’s banquet tomorrow night at the Porterhouse restaurant in Lakeville.” I added dryly, “He’s won an award for killing small, defenseless animals, and sadly, will only be figuratively roasted.”

  Pam slapped her hands over her mouth, shoulders shaking.

  “Hi, Pam. Nice to meet you,” Luke said, ignoring my question. “I hope you’re having a fun lunch with Anabel.”

  Pam’s eyebrows were raised and she was grinning. She’s impressed by Luke’s manners. “Hi, Luke, it’s nice to meet you, too.” She batted her eyelashes at me. “Bel and I always have fun.”

  Luke replied, “Yeah, I find Anabel to be a pretty good time, as well.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  Luke went on smoothly, “Thank you, Pam, for the invitation. Our answer is yes, we can’t think of one thing we’d like to do more than join you and your husband tomorrow night.”

  “I can!” I blurted, jerking up straight, my mouth an O for the second time in an hour. “I can name a hundred things off the top!”

  Pam shook her fists together over her head like a prizefighter winning a champion bout, stuck out her tongue at me, and said excitedly, “Oh, you have no idea how happy you’ve made me with that answer, Luke! Should we all drive together? We can pick you up—it’s on our way.”

  Without missing a beat, Luke answered, “Pam, if it was up to just me that would be great, but you know Anabel’s rules. She’s got to have her own car on dates, even double dates, in case she gets bored and needs to bail.”

  Slapping a knee over her ridiculously tight skirt, Pam agreed with Mr. Tricky’s slick twisting of one of my basic and very sensible rules on dating, especially first dates.

  She teased, “My, I’m impressed. You really do know Anabel!”

  “Inside and out,” Luke deadpanned, and that answer set Pam off into a fit of dirty giggles.

  I ended the call and Pam stopped laughing abruptly.

  She stared at me, shocked. “How rude! You just hung up on your new boyfriend!”

  “It was an accident.” Leaning forward on crossed arms, I ignored her disapproving sniff and got us back on track. “I get why you said your life is falling apart with Carter, but why are you scared?”

  Pam’s face fell and she sighed loudly, blowing strands of her bangs up in the air. “I feel stupid even saying this out loud, but I’ve fallen in love with my one night stand, rebound lover.”

  Thinking it was a good sign she’d labeled him correctly, I asked, “Are you sure it’s love and not just the jungle sex?”

  “Oh, it’s both, believe me. Bel, this man is interested in me! We’ve been meeting for months and yes, we have sex for hours, but we also talk. He wants to know everything about me and the way he listens is so intense.” Her laugh was brittle, yet entreating. “Am I being stupid?”

  “Well, do you wear your wedding ring when flying?”

  Pam glanced at her left hand where a tastefully large diamond glittered. “Yes, why?”

  I shrugged a little helplessly. “Obviously, he’s made you happy, but he also hit on a married flight attendant. Honestly, as your friend, there is no easy answer. I really believe only you can be the judge of what goes on privately between the two of you. Has he told you how he feels?”

  Frustrated, she groaned, “No, and that’s why I’m scared! I hear what you’re saying about him coming onto me, but it’s been so much more than one night. I don’t want to lose this man by doing something wrong.” Her slight laugh was tinged with desperation when she implored the second oldest girlfriend question of all time, “If you were me, what would you do?�
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  I sighed because I’d much rather answer the first girlfriend question of, “Does this make my butt look too big?”, but valiantly rose to the task. I came to this lunch with my eyes open.

  “There’s no two ways about it, Pammie, love is scary, but you shouldn’t have to feel scared. I’d take it slow. I’d think about how I’d like to live my life as a single woman of the world. I’d think about how cool it’s going to be to makes my own choices and live by my own rules, unafraid about what a man thinks or wants me to do.” I encouraged, “Get your divorce final first and then see where you’re at with Tarzan. You can tell him then how you feel,” I replied encouragingly, “because what’s the big rush?”

  Pam’s eyes grew wide. “I can tell him that?” She sputtered, “Aren’t girls supposed to wait until the boy tells them how they feel first?”

  At those words, I felt like I was transported back in time and staring at the clueless tomboy Pam in the lunchroom of our high school all over again. Poor Pam has only been involved with one man since she was a girl, and that relationship was warped big time.

  I smiled wickedly. “Pam, maybe girls are supposed to wait for boys to tell them their feelings first, but you’re a woman. Women don’t have to wait for men to do anything first,” I flipped my hair back and purred, “Unless we want to, of course.”

  Chapter XIV

  “She Wants To Move” by N.E.R.D.

  Friday, 12/07/2012

  2:01 PM

  I stood by the Ford-150 and watched Pam’s Beemer go squealing out of the small parking lot. Her dickless wonder was out of town tonight and Jane of the Jungle’s off to mate with her Tarzan at a Minneapolis hotel near the airport.