In Love by Design (The Adventures of Anabel Axelrod)

by Ellen, Tracy

  We sauntered down the hallway while chit-chatting easily about our families and upcoming events. Diego was polished and has the salesman’s gift of making pleasant conversation. After his first start of surprise, if he thought it was odd to see me at his store, his friendly demeanor gave no hint.

  He had no lipstick on his collar, only an I.D. swipe card attached to his pocket by a little silver clip, and I’d detected no red love rash on Mia Besosa’s face from getting scraped by Diego’s whiskers.

  If I had my way, I’d skip the investigating Mac has requested entirely. I’d rather chain Diego up in my basement at Bel’s, right alongside Pam, and make him talk the old-fashioned way; by brute force. And only talk, because while I’d agree Diego was drop dead handsome and passionately macho, those traits were trying to me when not matched with a keen sense of humor and an acute perception of human nature.

  ‘Holy Moly, have I been spoiled by the human trifecta that is Luke Drake or what!’

  ‘Wait! When did ‘an acute perception of human nature’ get added to the list of requirements in a man?’ asked the accountant voice, worriedly.

  That was a good point and I realized Luke was no mere trifecta, but a superfecta boyfriend. He’s not only intelligent, humorous, and endowed with manly muscles, but I loved his perceptive cleverness. Anna was right; he does keep me on my toes.

  ‘Not that I forgive him for being a Fibster,’ I added darkly, dwelling a moment once again on Luke’s secrets. There was a wisp of a thought tantalizing my memory, but like smoke, it was impossible to tangibly grasp.

  I lost even the wisp when Diego brought me back to the present by asking why I was dressed so pretty and in Faribault today, instead of working at Bel’s. He frowned when I explained that I’m spending the weekend with Luke, but met a friend for lunch. When he started to give me a hard time about “living in sin” before marriage, I gently reminded him that I was a big girl, and even more to the point, I was a heathen.

  “I am always the big brother and will never give up trying to get you to listen to reason, Anabel,” Diego stated and I peeked up at him surreptitiously to be sure he’s not kidding, but no such luck.

  I only sighed, and heroically held back my flippant retort of, “Well then, start speaking reasonably and I will listen!” I wouldn’t hesitate to verbally cross swords with Luke, but Diego takes himself and his position very seriously, albeit in a nice way. However, it was no fun bandying words with him, since I suspected his feelings got bruised easily, so I was gentle.

  Diego’s saving grace was that he’s good-natured in his determination. I understand Diego was raised in the Catholic Church and our family must be a sad trial to him. This was another reason why I don’t believe he’d cheat on his marriage vows to my sister. Of course, many an altar boy would laugh despairingly at those words.

  I can’t think of a downside to an individual believing in God, but organized religion has much to answer for come Judgment Day. I am decidedly not a fan.

  Entering back into the store, Diego walked with me to the express checkout lane and then insisted on paying for my food, claiming his big brother rights again. I only had the two items, so I smiled and didn’t put up much of a fight.

  Watching the women customers we encountered doing double and triple takes at the sight of Diego, and his female employees smile and simper in his commanding presence when he introduced me around as his sister, I felt amused pity for Mac. She’s chosen a seriously pretty man to marry who was prime Beefcake. I predicted a lifetime of women salivating relentlessly over his beef stick.

  Back at the truck, I touched up my lip gloss, got out my keys, and started to put my phone away when I noticed it was ten after three.

  “Crap!” I muttered and quickly texted Luke: E

  He texted back immediately: K. Your ten minutes late.

  This every hour, on the hour stuff was getting old fast, but I knew it was for my own safety and I felt bad I’d made Luke worry. This was the only reason I didn’t give the finger to the phone in response to the Deceiver’s addendum dripping in disappointment.

  I texted back: So sorry, baby, won’t happen again. Time flies, etc.

  Setting a reminder alarm on the phone, I went back to thinking about the results of my recon. I have no idea if Diego was having an affair or not. God knows, there’s no lack of volunteers, so if he’s bent that way, my sister’s marriage was doomed. Mia was young and beautiful, and they were arguing furiously in Diego’s office. I couldn’t imagine that kind of passion igniting over a customer service issue. Something sneaky did seem to be going on, yet Mia appeared totally pissed off. The air was definitely crackling, but not with the sexually charged atmosphere of a sizzling affair.

  I didn’t have a translation app on my phone, so the sooner I got the English version of whatever was being said between Mia and Diego on the voice memo recording, the closer I’d be to an answer for Mac.

  I knew investigating Diego was going to suck, but not this much. For all my surface cynicism, deep down I have an idealistic streak a mile wide. I have come to rather like Diego, even if he’s a tad stuffy for me. Maybe I couldn’t see the big picture clearly yet because I didn’t want to believe Diego was an untrustworthy, scum bucket of an asswipe using my sister for her money while feeding beef stick to ravenously unhappy housewives behind his Produce department. However, my idealism won’t get in the way of discovering the truth.

  Trust was a word that I’ve come to associate with an image of the sword of Damocles hanging overhead. There was the joyous edge a relationship has when trust was present, and the destructive edge when that trust was violated.

  Wouldn’t it be better to erase this word entirely from the lexicon of romantic relationships and take away the guess work?

  That’s what I think, too!

  A Penile Cheater Chip app would solve everything. Upon agreement to commit to a monogamous relationship, the man would get a simple surgical implant. Every time that man shot his jizz thereafter, the corresponding party’s phone would light up in a burst of fireworks or sound off to the ringtone of their choice. Then it was up to the corresponding party to decide if their man was just handy with his fives or a cheating prick.

  Before leaving the grocery store, I drove around and noted where Diego’s car was parked. I then cruised through the back alley area where the delivery trucks and vendors unload their products. For tonight’s ninja action, I wanted to be sure where all the exits of the building are located. I saw the emergency exit door. From this view, I noticed there was a window on either side of the door, as well. One would be in Diego’s office and I assumed the other opens into that locked room I didn’t get to glimpse. It didn’t matter because the windows were too high and too small to be of any use, anyway, even if they weren’t covered in black metal screening.

  Leaving Faribault, I drove east. Fifteen minutes later, I was parking on Division a block down from Bel’s. During the drive to Northfield, I didn’t notice any vehicles following me, especially not a light blue Honda Civic. I rushed up the street, smiling at several people, but not stopping to talk.

  Timing my entrance into the main lobby of my building, I unlocked and enter my apartment door unobserved. Sniggering softly at having to sneak into my own building, I ran up the stairs.

  I took off my boots and reflexively threw my purse on the white bench in the foyer. Then I picked it right back up again and pulled the strap over my head. Putting one arm through to wear the purse across my chest, I muttered, “Threat focus, situational awareness. Must keep gun on me at all times.”

  Detouring to grab a bottle of bubble water from the fridge, I slowed down my pace to appreciate this moment of perfect quiet.

  The apartment smelled faintly of orange citrus. This was from the list of acceptable nontoxic cleaning products Stella’s supplied my weekly cleaning service to choose from, and I think I preferred it over the coconut lemon fragrance from last Friday.

  The white shutters are opened on all the win
dows, since I wasn’t home last night to close them. Mellow afternoon sunshine flooded the living and dining rooms and brought to life the rich, jeweled tones of the Persian carpets on the gleaming dark hardwood floors. In fact, every surface was dusted and gleaming. All my treasures were tidied on the bookshelves.

  Velvet toss pillows were plumped up on my comfy leather sofa and club chairs. A twelve-foot tall, white tinsel Christmas tree from the seventies reigned in one corner of the living room. Red and turquoise glass balls dangled from the branches and glistened in the reflected sunlight. Underneath the tree was a really ugly tree skirt that my siblings and I made as kids. The brown felt cut outs were supposed to be reindeers, but looked more like mutant potatoes. Arranged on top of the skirt was a dozen, fancily wrapped presents all intricately tied up with curly ribbon and plastered with ‘Open Early and You Die’ festive stickers.

  I was playing with fire, but was there anything sadder in a home than a Christmas tree with no presents?

  I agree, and that’s why I turned my home office into Wrapping Headquarters right after Thanksgiving and try to wrap the presents I buy, as I shopped.

  Every year I surprised myself by how much I loved the holidays and all the hoopla. I am always positive that next year will be the year I grow up and no longer feel the magic. But come next December, I’m whipping out the cute little Christmas apron and baking cookies. I drive everyone crazy playing my favorite Christmas CD at top volume. It has twenty different versions, by twenty different artists, all singing my one favorite Christmas song, “O Holy Night”. Every hair on my body stands on end when listening to that song over and over, and I don’t care how much shit I get, it brings tears to my eyes. That’s my version of church.

  Blowing a kiss to my second floor haven, I went into the home office because I have finally grasped that thought that had been eluding me. Maneuvering around a banquet table set up with gift wrapping supplies and a shopping bag of presents, I booted up my desktop. I found the folder of papers James Byrd handed me last week on Luke’s financials. I’ve put off looking at them closer, but something Pam said struck a nerve. Skimming through them, I found what I was looking for and entered the name in a Google search.

  Thirty minutes later, I came up for air due to the ringtone of my phone alarm. I sent Luke the E text. It was four o’clock on the dot and Luke took a full two minutes to text the terse K in response. I didn’t know why his K text felt terse, since it was what we agreed to do, yet I shivered at seeing only that ominous K. I started whistling soundlessly and dove back into my internet research.

  Mechanic Pete called twenty minutes later to deliver the good news my jeep would be delivered back to Bel’s by five. I praised him and promised him my undying gratitude for going above and beyond, but like with most men, that wasn’t enough. So I listened with half an ear and said an extolling “Uh Huh” at appropriate times. Pete explained in minute detail everything he fixed, and gave advice on everything I should think about fixing in the future.

  Geesh, if I gave Peter my whole attention, I’d be able to fix my own blasted jeep next time. I loved cars, but grease under these fingernails wasn’t going to happen.

  So I kept scrolling and reading through websites, until excuse the pun, I realized he’d petered out talking. Into the awkward silence, I absently thanked him warmly again before pressing end. I hope I didn’t hurt his feelings, but I’ve got bigger things to worry about.

  ‘Holy Shit! The two Owatonna businesses, the used car lot and the travel agency, where Luke had invested his cash were owned by Carter Ogelbachen’s little moron brothers under their wives’ names!’

  Chapter XV

  “Jump Jive An’ Wail” by The Brian Setzer Orchestra

  Friday, 12/07/2012

  5:00 PM

  My phone alarm caused me to practically fall out of the office chair. Twirling back and forth with my head back and eyes closed, I was in a fugue state. I’d been thinking over all that I had learned and letting my mind free fall where it would. This was a very handy trick that often allowed me to make leaps in logic making no sense whatsoever, but somehow turned out accurate.

  Texting the required E to Luke, I cursed cell phones and boyfriends. This time it was a full five minutes before Luke’s K text was returned.

  I was still smiling at that pissed off K when the phone buzzed in my hand.

  “Anna! Where are you?” I asked immediately.

  “Hey, I called you!” she complained, then answered, “I’m at the Fare still. Why? Where are you?”

  “Did Pete drop off the jeep?” I asked, instead of answering.

  “Yep, I have the key right here.”

  “Cool, put it in your pocket for me. So, would you say it’s evening out about now or still afternoon?” I inquired, leaning forward to log off the computer.

  “It’s just five, so I guess its evening. Why?” Anna asked, and then demanded again, “Where are you, Junior?”

  “Right above you. Are you done down there? I need you desperately up in the apartment. If you are ready, I’ll buzz you up.”

  “Did you really change the code?” Anna exclaimed, indignantly. “And wait, I want to…”

  “Yes, yes,” I interrupted, laughing, “I changed the code, deal with it.” Or I would be in a minute, so close enough. “Yes, I know you want to come out with me and the girls tonight. That’s fine by me, as long as you wear dark clothes and shoes that you can run in. Wait, you can still run if you’re pregnant, right? Or at least trot swiftly, if needed?” I ignored her yelling and went on without waiting, “And yes, Anna, my best friend and the woman who is incubating my brother’s demon seed, I know you need to bring food over to Reggie’s for poker tonight. That works out great. You can drive my jeep and I’ll follow you over there. Just hurry up here, ‘kay?”

  There was silence and then Anna shouted, “I am going to kill you!” before hanging up.

  The minute Stella said Reg messed up the dates and was playing poker; I knew Anna would want to come with me tonight. I’d asked Mac’s permission to add another ninja during my earlier call. Due to Mac’s repugnance over the cheek kissing debacle, she’s beyond caring if I invite every friend and relative we have to go prove Diego’s a cheating, dago bastard.

  Her words, not mine.

  Before leaving the office, I took a moment to select a present from the pile waiting to be wrapped. I folded some tissue paper around it and placed it in a black and white checkered gift bag. Smirking, I stapled a frothy, curly white ribbon dotted with little pink hearts onto the top of the bag, sealing the gift and making it pretty.

  Setting the bag on the bench in the foyer, I reached the control panel right as Anna lay on the buzzer. I went to meet her, smiling at hearing her huffing and puffing while running up the stairs. Rounding the landing, Anna was loudly calling me every kind of stupid for not taking one measly day off without having to call into the store. Also, I was stupid for being here in the apartment, instead of with dreamboat Luke, especially when someone was trying to kill me.

  She reached the top and I raised my brows. “Finished? Do you feel better now? Because I can wait if you want to keep telling me, in your own special way, how you’re my bestie and have my back.”

  “And you’re an even bigger smart ass than your brother! There! Now I’m finished and I do feel better, thank you.” She flashed a brief grin and hugged me, but then an anxious look flitted over her face. “I’ve been worried all day. Have you heard any news from that fixer you hired?”

  I shook my head. “Not yet,” To assuage her concerns, I added, “Luke’s all over it, too. He’s convinced I don’t have anything to worry about today because the killer should think I’m dead, but we’re still being careful. We also started my self defense lessons today.”

  Anna’s face immediately relaxed at the mention of Luke’s name. On second thought, I decided I wouldn’t be telling Jazy and Tre about last night’s exploits, since it’s very fresh in my mind how overprotective they got wh
en the Hammer was on the loose. I reminded Anna that she and Reg are the only ones who knew about my abduction and I wanted to keep it that way.

  She agreed and reassured me that Reggie was sworn to secrecy this morning. She rubbed her hands, bright-eyed and excited. Anna loved a good mystery, as long as she doesn’t have to worry about death or dismemberment.

  “So why the desperation? What’s going down tonight, June?”

  Laughing, I said, “So much is going down, you won’t even believe it!” I stopped her from taking off her shoes and handed over my phone. “What time do you have to deliver the sandwiches to Reggie’s?”

  She glanced confusedly from the phone in her hand to my face while answering, “He said they’re starting early tonight, so six at the latest. Can you believe he freakin’ forgot it was their annual Christmas poker party night?” She snorted and shook her head sadly at the vagaries of men. “Reggie makes the chili himself every year. Ugh! His chili is so spicy hot, I don’t know how those guys all eat it,” she smiled and said, “but it’s got to burn like a son of a bitch coming out the other end.”

  “Oh, thanks a lot for that charming visual. Gross!” I exclaimed, as I lead the way into the living room.

  Anna laughter was tinged with evil, chipmunk satisfaction. “That ought to teach them all for screwing up my date night!”

  Waving Anna to sit, I said dryly, “I won’t even ask what you did to the subs.”

  Anna giggled, plopping down on the sofa.

  I sat beside her and asked carelessly, “What did Reggie say the other guys are all bringing tonight?”

  My brother’s been doing his annual Christmas poker bash for years and the men all bring their different contributions to the party. They eat holiday foods, smoke expensive cigars, drink good booze, and the pots are much larger than normal. Several wives and girlfriends have been really mad at my brother in the past for having this party in December. It’s been known to affect the size of their Christmas gift if their man loses. I know all this, but I had a thought and now I’m fishing.