In Love by Design (The Adventures of Anabel Axelrod)

by Ellen, Tracy

  “Anabel!” Anna cried, using my full name in her horror. “I can’t believe you gave me the V sign! I didn’t even know I knew any Bible quotes!”

  I waved off her concern because I was sure Anna could recite the Bible from front to back, if she had any burning desire to do so. She’s probably mentally blocked this knowledge and I can’t blame her, not after having it shoved down her throat by Aunt Lily all her life.

  “I have nothing against any Bible quotes, Anna, it’s what or who is prompting them that has me worried.” I patted her arm. “The V sign was a small test. It’s good that the Viggo V upset you. If you were possessed by Aunt Lily, don’t you think you would’ve hissed and spit when I did that?”

  Anna nodded in relief. “I totally agree. I’m sure it’s my damn hormones.” She snorted in disgust and said, “Not that the Viggo V is anything like a test of Holy Water!”

  I smiled noncommittally and made a mental note to keep a close eye on Anna during her pregnancy. I’ve read too many scary books and watched too many occult movies where dark forces were afoot and wanted someone’s baby. Look at poor Rosemary, for instance. I’ll be damned before any minions from Hell will get their fat mitts on this future Axelrod.

  Looking back at the Murphy bed, I realized if Anna’s discovered this accidentally in fifteen minutes, I could really use her sniffing out talents to help me find the secret entrance to the bunker. It has to be reached from this room somehow, or through the two closed doors I’ve yet to investigate.

  ‘Too bad you gave your word to never tell,’ reminded the mean mommy voice, and we both sighed in resigned irritation at what a total pain in the ass it was being honorable.

  “Hey Anna, since you brought up not eating bread, we should probably have some dinner before we go.”

  She rolled her eyes at my teasing, but rubbed her hands together and agreed. “I’m always so hungry lately, since I’ve stopped hurling. It can’t be good to ninja on an empty stomach, right?”

  “Right! Last one up the stairs is possessed by Aunt Lily!” I cried, but let Anna bounce me into the wall and fly past me to lay her fears to rest.

  At the top, rubbing my sore shoulder, I used a shoe of Luke’s as a wedge to prevent the basement security door from closing and relocking while we’re gone. If I beat Luke home tonight, I may want to wander around down there, and you know, look at the old maps framed on the wall or something.

  ‘Oh yes,’ I told the surprised voices in my head that are starting to loudly cheer, ‘Of course I’m coming back tonight. Mr. Tricky and I have some unfinished business!’

  Raiding Luke’s fridge and cupboards, I concocted small chef salads while Anna put her feet up and relaxed at the kitchen table.

  She’d asked me earlier my opinion on why Luke needed the extensive Bat Cave security. I responded it was because he’s a tricky, sneaky, manipulative, control freak of a bastard that wasn’t happy unless he’s dominating everything within his domain.

  Now Anna’s busily gesturing and making up scenarios to explain why Luke definitely needed such extreme security measures. I listened to her wild ideas while chopping and dicing veggies and cheese, but I’m confused as to why my admiring responses to her question made Anna feel the need to stoutly defend and excuse Luke’s character.

  We ate, cleaned up the kitchen, and then moseyed around Luke’s house a bit after dinner. Anna decided she wanted to wear a hat too, and grumbling about losers, selected a Chicago Bears hat from Luke’s closet.

  We peeked here and there, as girls will do. The two spare bedrooms were furnished simply with the basics. I was turning back into the hall when Anna let out a whoop of success at discovering something stuck way back in an empty dresser drawer.

  Nose crinkled, she held up a metallic silver thong. The thong looked like something an astronaut would wear to protect their va-jay-jay from galactic cosmic rays radiation. As Anna stretched the elastic over her fingers and slingshot it off into the air, we both shouted, “Eww, Svettie!”

  At 7:40 PM, we were in the jeep cruising back to Faribault and energetically debating such important topics as what the upcoming season six of “Mad Men” may bring and the merits of Timothy Olyphant in “Justified” versus Idris Elba in “Luther” while jamming with Vampire Weekend blaring from the speakers.

  Pulling into Aldi’s, I parked in the back near a light pole. Within seconds, a brand new 2013 GMC conversion van pulled into the empty spot next to me and Tre J waved from the driver’s captain seat.

  Anna waved back, but then glanced at me and giggled nervously. “Oh man, Junior, not another van! I’m scared of vans since the Hammer!”

  Patting her arm reassuringly, I smiled gently. “Vans are our friends, Anna. It’s not vans that kill people, its people that kill people.”

  “Yeah, and I haven’t forgotten that this people is going to kill your people!” Anna threatened, shaking her fist over at me as we unbuckled.

  I laughed, grabbing my purse and the duffle. “Now that’s more like it! Let’s go save some Diego ass!”

  Greeting Tre and Jazy with smiles and bumping fists, Anna and I climbed into the back seats of the van. These were also luxuriously padded captain chairs like in the front seat. A small table sat between us that had two bottles of chilled water waiting in the cup holders and a bowl of trail mix studded with whole almonds and plump raisins. The pleated blinds were lowered on all the back windows and there were soft lights glowing on either side of the van’s ceiling. I have to hand it to Tre and Jaz, they really know how to ninja.

  The girls twisted around, both their faces wearing eager expressions. We all looked each other over for a mute second and then began laughing. All of us were wearing our hair tucked up into a hat, although we’d each chosen a different football team. Tre’s was Dallas and Jazy’s was Denver. Thankfully, nobody wore the Packers, but I said we still looked too much like a team. Anna volunteered to not wear a hat and wear her cheaters. Tre said she had a plain knit hat and she changed her look, too. Jazy turned her ball cap around and wore it backwards.

  Popping an almond in my mouth, I complimented Tre on her uncanny ability to get vehicles we all wouldn’t normally be caught dead driving in. Other than that, I didn’t make them wait any longer for the details of why we were meeting. I launched immediately into Mac’s tale and repeated her suspicions of Diego, my earlier results of reconnoitering Dos Santos’, and the outline of my proposed plan for tonight.

  Glancing around the three faces listening intently, I wound it up by asking, “What do you guys think?”

  Jazy and Tre exchanged quick eye contact, and since they’ve been best friends for years, they required no words.

  “Diego better not be cheating!” Jazy warned and then frowned slightly. “We’re down with it overall, but how does Tre get past the locked employee door?”

  I held up Diego’s I.D. card and waved it slowly in the air. I’d pinched it off his pocket when I hugged him goodbye.

  Jazy grinned in approval. “Little sticky fingers rides again!”

  Anna and Tre laugh at that nickname, as I handed the I.D. to Tre.

  Her smile was brilliant enough to light up the dim van when she repeated, “Little sticky fingers…! How I love that name! I’ll always think what you did was totally worth all the trouble you got into for doing it, I don’t care what anybody says, Bel.”

  For Anna, it was still a sore subject twenty years later and she retorted, “Yeah, but it wasn’t your sleepover party Junior missed from getting grounded!”

  “True.” Tre shrugged good-naturedly in response and assured her, “It was a fun sleepover, too, Anna.

  Tre’s referring to my little sticky fingers lifting the key off the school librarian to unlock her guarded treat drawer. I divided the immense hoard of candy inside with most of the kids in the fourth through sixth grade. Mrs. Thornburgh was such a selfish pig, she’d share her bottomless goody trough only with her little pets that were gold star readers, regardless of how hard some of my
classmates tried to be good readers, but never achieved gold star status.

  Days later, I got called down to the school office to find out I’d been busted, but only because I made a mistake that taught me a valuable lesson I’ve never forgotten. To sum up the lesson is the quote, “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer”.

  One of Mrs. Thornburgh’s little gold star pets, Sam Sheedy’s older sister, Susan, rat me out because she didn’t get her share of the candy. She was also jealous that I had more gold stars than her. It’s true I did miss Anna’s sleepover party due to NanaBel’s punishment, but with Aunt Lily being the adult in charge, I always considered that was karma’s way of saying. “It’s wrong to steal, but we still love you, kid!”

  Am I a bad woman to feel a teeny bit vindicated that Mrs. Thornburgh is a diabetic and Susan Sheedy has five unruly children under the age of seven that she home schools?

  I don’t think so, either. Being a librarian is an awesome, nurturing responsibility right up there with being a mother. Mrs. Thornburgh was a terrible motivator and a worse role model, and Susan Sheedy didn’t read half the books her mother signed off on.

  Tre was nodding at Jaz. “We need to learn how to pick pockets.”

  “Absofuckinglutely!” Jaz agreed fervently and they smacked high-fives.

  I tilted my head and contemplated them both for a moment. This reminded me that I never have gotten to the bottom of what these two girls are doing in their spare time because they are definitely doing something.

  Anna was frowning at them, too, and after giving me a little quizzical shrug, focused on our operation tonight and her concerns. “Are you sure we can get in and out of the emergency exit and do we have Diego’s computer password?”

  I shrugged back and nodded. “I’m sure the door alarm was broken as of three o’clock today. Diego verified he hadn’t called a repairman and he sure doesn’t have a clue where to begin fixing an alarm.”

  I handed Anna the list of computer passwords and Tre J the key to Diego’s office, both provided by Mac at my insistence.

  I said seriously, “If I’m wrong and the alarm goes off when Tre opens the exit door, then we abort the mission,” Anna giggled at my fancy lingo. I gave her the hard, professional stare that I’ve learned from my boyfriend and she giggled even more. Hiding my smile, I continued, “and we all run for the van faster than jackrabbits and drive off.”

  “Puma’s,” Jazy stated succinctly.

  “Excuse me?” I asked politely.

  “We run like puma’s, not like some wild-eyed jack rabbits that don’t know their asses from a hole in the ground,” my baby sister explained.

  I stared at her for a moment and am reminded by her calm return gaze that Jazy takes her animals very seriously.

  “Well, okay then, you all heard Nature Girl. Nobody better even think of acting like wild-eyed jackrabbits.”

  Tre and Anna openly snickered while Jazy only nodded happily at this new directive.

  My plan was no frills. Tre will go into the store, grab a basket, stroll through the aisles until she reaches the bathrooms, and then wait for the coast to be clear in the downstairs hallway. She’ll swipe through the locked employee’s door.

  The second part of the plan was for Tre J to verify Diego’s office was empty. Diego should be gone based on his schedule Mac gave me and the fact she hasn’t called to say otherwise. We will be waiting by that door in the back alley for Tre J to let us in. Once in the office, Tre will provide overwatch, Jazy and I will search the room, and Anna, the fastest of us all on the computer, will log in and search Diego’s files.

  Tre J asked a few more questions about the layout of the store. I went over again that we were looking for proof of infidelity, blackmail, or anything that seemed odd. After that, we were ready. Jaz and Tre changed places, so that Jazy was the wheel man.

  We drove the short, few blocks to supermercado de Dos Santos and did one pass through the parking lot and back alley area. I narrated, showing Tre where we’d park the van, in the event we had to make like puma’s. I pointed out our emergency exit door flanked by the two high, small windows on each side, and the location of Diego’s office.

  Diego’s vehicle was not there, so we looked good to go. Driving out of the alley, we took a right and drove up the side street. On this side of Dos Santos’, it was a long length of uninterrupted red brick with no doors or windows. We stopped shy of the corner to drop Tre off. We all did a final check to make sure our phones were silent and our disguises were in place.

  Three sets of eyes turned to stare at me expectantly. I was still learning about working as a team in my personal life, but I think this meant they were waiting for me to say some final, inspiring words before the start of the mission.

  I returned their stare, nodding slowly at each of my cohorts. I shoved my arm out straight and whispered fiercely, “To the Night of the Ninjas!”

  Anna slapped her hand on top of mine and whispered ferociously, “Ninjas fear nothing!”

  Jaz added her hand to the pile and growled softly, “Ninja’s own the night!”

  Tre J’s large hand covered all of ours and she nodded back to me, smiling savagely. “Ninja’s never fail!”

  I looked at our pile of arms and hands thinking we’re done here, but they were all staring at me again, faces aflame with mission bloodlust.

  “Er…One, two, three,” I counted out, reverting back to my brief career as a middle school cheerleader while bouncing our pile of hands and arms. Throwing mine up in the air, I called out, “Goooo Ninjas!”

  This seemed to work because the team was all smiles and back slapping, as Tre unbuckled and prepared to open her door to leave the van.

  “Oh, and Tre?” I called out. “One last thing, please.”

  “Yes, Bel?” She answered, promptly turning back to face me.

  “While you’re in there, don’t forget to pick up a dozen eggs in the dairy section,” I said, straight faced.

  Tre blinked at me and Jazy put in nonchalantly, “And bread for us. I think Blanca needs orange juice, too.”

  Anna sat up and eagerly asked, “Can you check for me in the candy aisle and see if they carry peppermints?”

  At Tre’s pained, confused expression, we broke into snickering giggles.

  “You ninja bitches, I’ll get you all for that!” Tre warned with a broad smile before she quietly slipped out her door while Jazy kept the dome light covered.

  Jazy waited for a few seconds and then pulled away from the curb, took a right again, and we passed Tre J walking with her loping, ground eating strides to the front entrance of the store. We entered the parking lot, leaving the van in the predesignated spot.

  The three of us kept our heads causally down and we stayed close to the wall of the store. We walked in the shadows through the dimly lit back alley area and stopped when we almost reached the metal emergency exit door.

  We huddled together, but stayed quiet. We kept our heads bent towards the pavement to avoid our faces showing on any security tapes, and we waited.

  Waiting patiently was boring and the hardest part of any adventure, but much as Luke described about surveillance, it was necessary to stay alert and be ready for anything. The night’s grown chillier once the sun went down, but it was still practically tropical for Minnesota. Anna was bouncing on her feet and had pulled on her mittens, but she’s always jittery and always cold. Keeping the bun in her oven at an even roasting temperature had messed even more with the calibration of her internal thermometer, so I moved closer to share my warmth. Jazy grinned reassuringly at Anna and moved closer from the other side. I smiled at the sight of my sister’s deep dimples and Anna’s chipmunk cheeks rounding in grateful response, but looked away to keep scanning the back alley.

  Jazy was starting to blow on her hands when the metal door squeaked open slowly and Tre’s head stuck out. “All clear!”

  I led the way with the duffle bag, and we slipped in and ran the short distance into Diego’s op
en office.

  The plan was working beautifully and we’re off to a good start, aside from bumping into each other in the darkened office and doing a little pushing, shoving, and muttering until we were all in.

  Tre pulled the door almost completely closed behind us, leaving it open an inch while she got in position to watch and listen. Dropping to my knees, I unzipped the duffle and took out a towel.

  “Situation report, Tre?” I asked while twisting the body towel I borrowed from Luke’s linen closet into a long, thick rope. I shoved it against the bottom of the door to fill in the gap where light could shine out underneath. I’d brought flashlights, but could only find two in Luke’s house, so I was glad this idea was working.

  “We’re cool here and no problems in the store,” she acknowledged softly, without taking her eye off the hallway.

  I whispered, “Okay, lights on.”

  Tre closed the office door tight, locked it, and flipped the switch for the lights. I heard everyone suck in a breath when the overhead fluorescent lights only flickered a few times. Finally they stayed on, but buzzed annoyingly loud. I mentally noted that Diego’s has a failing ballast to add to his repair list. The team let out a collective sigh of relief and got busy doing our assigned tasks while Tre leaned with her ear against the cheap, hollow-core office door.

  Anna was at the computer doing her thing, muttering softly to herself as she typed away. Jazy and I took a moment to quickly survey Diego’s office overall before moving. We made a face at each other when we realized that we’d both done the same thing. She moved right and started opening Diego’s desk drawers, working around Anna, and I went left and opened the miniscule coat closet.

  There was a jacket hanging from a rod, a plastic bucket sitting on the floor, and a short, nasty broom with straw sticking out at all angles. Propped on the wall next to the icky broom was one of those long-handled dust pans. I jumped up and down in place to verify the overhead shelf was empty.