He wants to watch me come from my own hand.
My entire body flushes. No doubt my cheeks and chest are as red as my hair. There are nerves racing through my stomach, but there isn't a single part of me that wants to deny him.
I want to show him how I touch myself.
I spread my legs a little wider as I slide my hand below my belly button. His blue eyes stay glued to me. His expression stays intense and wanting.
He wants me that much.
Pleasure spreads through my torso as my fingers skim my clit. It's strange being on display for Ethan—we never did this—but it's strange in an amazing, hot as hell kind of way.
I hold his gaze as I stroke myself. There's all this desire in his blue eyes. His breath is heavy and needy. That's for me. He's wrecked with desire because he's watching me.
The intimacy is intense, but that feels right. I want to be exposed to him. I want him seeing all of me—my body, my heart, my soul.
The tension in my core knots. I hold Ethan's gaze until I can't manage it anymore. My eyelids flutter closed. I fall onto the bed, on my back.
Still, I stay on display for him.
I spread my legs wider.
With a few more brushes of my fingers, I'm at the edge. Then I'm there. I groan and shake as I come. My toes squeeze the sheets. My sex pulses with aftershocks. It takes a full minute for me to catch my breath.
I should feel shy, embarrassed, exposed. I don't. I'm exhilarated.
Ethan takes my hands and pulls me to my feet. His lips find my ear. "You're fucking amazing, Vi."
He kisses me, hard. I slide my tongue into his mouth. I dig my hands into his hair. Right now, it really feels like I'm his. I need more of that. I need all of that.
I only break the kiss to tug his t-shirt over his head. He kicks off his shoes and socks and shimmies out of his jeans.
Only the boxers now. Usually, I'd take my time exploring every nook and cranny of his body. Today, I'm impatient. I trace the lines of the lock tattoo on his chest.
Girls always ask if they have the key to his heart.
I want that key.
I want to unlock all of him.
He slides his arms around my waist and guides me to a spot in front of the closet and its mirrored sliding door. "I want to watch you come again. Want you to watch it too." He turns my body so I'm parallel to the mirror then he takes my hands and places them on the wall. "Tell me you want that."
"I do." I arch my back to press my ass against his crotch.
Ethan does away with his boxers. Then it's just him. Being across from the mirror gives me a hell of a view. I soak in the sight of his naked body—defined muscles, miles of tattoos, that soft tuft of pubic hair.
His cock, hard and ready for me.
Damn, I need that.
"Please." I rub my ass against him.
Through the mirror, his eyes meet mine. He grabs onto my hips and pulls my body onto his. He teases me again and again. He teases me until I'm dizzy with lust. It feels so fucking good. And the look on his face—the mix of desire, control, and pure affection—fills me with utter satisfaction.
Through the mirror, I watch him enter me. Every inch of it is ecstasy. I feel more awake, more alive, more at home.
Ethan's fingers dig into my hips to hold me in place as he thrusts into me. I grip the wall the best I can. It keeps me steady enough to watch our bodies move together.
To watch the pleasure spread over my face.
I've never watched myself come before. Even when Ethan and I would have sex below his super-hot mirror on the ceiling, I watched him, watched his body.
It's strange watching myself. I can feel all the pleasure in my core when he thrusts into me. I can feel the pangs of need that shoot through me when he plays with my nipples. I can feel the tension knotting inside me as it gets closer.
But watching my body stretching to take him, watching my nipples redden between his fingers, watching my lips part with a sigh of desire—it's intense.
It's fucking hot.
"Come with me, Vi." Ethan brings his hand between my legs to rub me.
God yes.
I arch my back to match his movements. I watch him through the mirror. His eyes flutter closed. His teeth sink into his lips. He moves harder and faster.
Then he's there. And I have to close my eyes because I'm there too. I groan his name as my orgasm knots tighter and tighter. My fingers dig into the wall as I go over the edge. I come in torrents, my sex pulsing so hard I'm afraid I'm going to push him out of my body.
He only moves harder, deeper. His thighs shake as he comes. His nails scrape against my skin. My name rolls off his tongue as he fills me.
When he's spilled every drop, Ethan scoops me into his arms and takes me to the bed. He positions his body next to mine, his forehead pressed against mine, his chest pressed against mine.
He's still looking at me like I'm the best thing he's ever seen.
Right now, I feel like the best thing in the world.
Right now, I really believe I deserve all the pleasure and happiness in the world. I really believe I deserve to keep him.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ethan
Joel arrives just in time for the show in Chicago. He kills it the way he always does.
After we finish, I spend an hour hanging out with fans. I've been skipping my usual autographs, conversations, and pictures thing in favor of hanging out with Violet.
Occasionally, fans get a little too grabby or rude. Otherwise, they're great and I love chatting with them. I can talk about Dangerous Noise music all night and I know how to make people feel special without pulling out all sorts of bullshit.
Still, I'm relieved when I finish mingling and make my way backstage. There's no sign of Mal, Joel, or Kit in the hallway, but I can still feel the tension in the air.
Fuck, this is stupid. Mal has always been bossy, but this time he's out of line. I'm not sure it's possible to talk sense into my older brother, but I'm going to try.
This band is too important for petty shit. It's not just that we're on the cusp of being the next big thing. We're a family.
We need to move past the stupid fight to the part where we forgive each other.
It's not happening right now. There's no sign of Mal in the hall or in either of the dressing rooms. No doubt he's locked in his hotel room with one of his fuck buddies. Mal has an M.O. Once he closes the hotel room door, he's not opening it unless it's an emergency.
Shit. There isn't much time before Violet and I have to leave. I go back to the strangely empty dressing room to look for Kit.
He's not here but Joel and Violet are. The two of them are sitting on the couch.
He plays with her e-reader. "How do you read this sci-fi shit?"
"It's a sci-fi romance." She grabs the device. "And it's good." She nods hello as her eyes meet mine. "Hey Ethan."
"Ethan, hey, don't tell me you've got a few groupies lined up." Joel slurs his words.
"You drunk?" I ask.
"Yeah, must be pretty motivated to be drunk this fast after a show, huh?" He shakes his dirty-blond hair. "Okay, I get that look. I'll stop cock-blocking you."
Her voice gets soft. "No, stay, Joel. We should go out, the three of us. Kit too. But then he doesn't drink so does he go out?"
"Sometimes, but I'm not sticking around. And Ethan's got a surprise for you." Joel winks at me. "He thinks I don't know, but word travels fast around here."
Violet looks up at me. "You have a surprise?"
I nod. "Yeah."
"What is it?" she asks.
"Valentine, it's a surprise. He can't tell you." Joel pushes himself off the couch. He scans the room. When he sees no sign of Kit, he takes a step backwards. "You seen Rhythmic One?"
"He was watching the Sinful Serenade set. Haven't seen him since they finished." Violet's eyes flare with frustration. "Joel, I'm sorry. I was just looking at numbers. I didn't want something like this to happen."
&n
bsp; "Not your fault, sweetheart." Joel's eyes flare with frustration. "Really, Violet, it's nice that you're around. I'm glad Ethan's happy for once. You're not the reason I'm about to get on a fucking train." He shakes off his frustration to shoot her a playful look. "Even with all that loud sex you two are having on the couch."
Violet blushes. "Who told you?"
"Fuck, I knew it!" Joel claps his hands together. "You should never fall for an accusation unless there's evidence. That's a tip for you. Though I'm sure you prefer a tip from Ethan."
She laughs. "Where's the train station?"
"Have to ask Google that," he says.
"How about I walk you? Or take a cab with you?" She looks to me for my blessing. Once I nod, she turns back to Joel. "Just the two of us. You can fill me in on all the gossip."
"Yeah. Okay." He nods. "But uh, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I know I'm all kinds of sexy. And Valentine, if you weren't Ethan's girl, I'd already have your panties off."
"Is that your technique?" she asks.
"I don't have a technique, Valentine. I read body language. Do what feels right in the moment. But you're my bandmate's girl. I'm not gonna fraternize with you. Loyalty means something to me."
She laughs, trying to keep it light. "Damn, I was hoping for a threesome."
He laughs but it doesn't wipe the frustration from his eyes. "I figured. I get that a lot."
She pushes herself off the couch and wraps her arms around me. "Is this going to ruin your surprise?"
"No. We'll be okay." I run my fingers through her short hair. "Thanks."
"For what?"
"Talking to Joel. It's sweet you want to help him."
She shrugs. "He's a friend." She presses her lips to mine. "Besides, I don't think Kit took the money either."
"Yeah?"
She nods. "But that's above my paygrade." She plants another soft, slow kiss on my lips. "Meet you back here?"
"At the hotel."
"Done."
Back at the hotel, I go straight to Kit's room and knock on his door. I haven't got a clue what the guy does for fun. He's always kept to himself but since rehab, he's doubled down on that trait.
He answers right away. He says nothing, just peers out at me from behind his mass of curly hair.
Fuck, no sense beating around the bush.
I stare back at him. "You know all this shit Mal's been saying about the stolen money?"
"You here to accuse me?"
"No. I don't think you took it."
He holds a poker face. "I didn't."
"You know anything about it?"
"From what Joel said, I figured it was that asshole manager we fired, Aiden. He's gone, the money's back. What's it matter?"
Damn, I wish Mal thought like that. But there's no wishing here. I'm fixing this. "You know Joel's taking this bullet for you."
"Tried to talk him out of that." Kit pulls the door open and motions come in.
I do.
We take seats in the plush armchairs lining the wall.
Kit leans back in his chair. His expression stays intense and mysterious. "I did a lot of bad shit when I was using. I don't blame Mal for assuming I took that money." His voice gets low and serious. "I get that he's trying to protect you, but running around behind my back is an asshole move."
"Yeah, it is."
Kit's curly hair falls over his face as he shakes his head. "Ethan, I'm only putting up with you being here because Mal is your older brother and everybody knows you look up to him."
Is it that obvious?
"I get wanting to impress somebody and never feeling like you can do it. And I've always liked working with you. You're a good guy, a good brother, and a hell of a guitarist. Fuck, I like Mal most of the time. But I'm not going to put up with this shit."
"One of you has to break the silence."
"I'll think about it."
"For whatever it's worth, I trust you, Kit. I wouldn't be able to step on stage with you every night if I didn't."
Kit chuckles. "You're a sweet kid."
"You're only two years older than I am."
He shrugs. "And you're a romantic about music."
"You aren't?"
"Haven't been a romantic about anything in a long time."
"Violet's talking to Joel. I'm not sure what she's saying, but I can tell she feels awful."
Kit nods. "He likes her."
I raise a brow.
"Not like that." Kit chuckles. "Like a sister."
"Yeah."
"I know Joel acts like he doesn't give a fuck about anyone but himself, but he's been pulling for you two. You should have heard the shit he said when you let her walk away the first time."
"Yeah?"
Kit nods. "Wasn't the most complimentary." He pushes his hair out of his eyes. "Don't worry about shit with me and Mal. Fix you and Violet. The way that girl looks at you—nobody's ever looked at me like that."
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ethan
At this time of night, the hotel lobby is mostly empty.
Violet is sitting on one of the plush couches. Her legs are crossed. She's playing with the zipper of her boots. Not the heeled fuck-me boots, but a more sensible pair of black riding boots.
She's not by herself. She's sitting across from the Sinful Serenade guitarist Drew and his fiancée Kara. The happy couple is pressed together on the couch. He has his arm around her and he's whispering in her ear.
Violet's eyes catch mine. She waves me over.
"Hey." She smiles and pats her seat.
Kara's dark eyes light up. "Ethan, hey. Hold on."
She starts to push herself up. Immediately, Drew is out of his chair to help her.
"I'm not that pregnant, Denton. I can handle this." She places her hand on her belly. "At five months people are still looking at me like they aren't sure if I'm knocked up or if it's all the grilled cheese."
Violet laughs. "You have that glow."
Kara smiles. "Mostly, I have heartburn." She looks up at Drew. "Alexandra is almost as difficult as you are."
Drew smiles. "Not possible."
"She's a girl?" Violet asks.
Kara nods. "Yeah, but I would have painted the nursery pink either way."
"We rent, we can't paint the extra room," Drew says.
"He's so uptight for a rock star, huh?" Kara rises to her tiptoes to plant a kiss on Drew's lips.
He murmurs into her cheeks. "You look fucking divine in that dress."
She sighs as she wraps her arms around him.
"I'll make this fast. I want to make you come right away." He kisses her again.
"You know they heard that, right?" she asks.
Drew nods then he leans in close enough that his whisper is only audible to Kara.
It's funny. Everything I've heard about Drew from Joel—back when Drew was the Dangerous Noise guitarist, he made everyone's lives miserable with his diva-like ways and his fights with his ex-girlfriend—paints the guitarist as a truly miserable guy.
But I'm not sure I've seen anyone as happy as he is.
As in love as he is.
I've worked with him enough to know two things—he's a perfectionist and he loves his fiancée as much as anyone has ever loved another person.
Drew nods to me. "Let's talk."
"Sure." I kiss Violet on the cheek and follow Drew to an empty spot in the corner of the room.
His dark eyes get serious. "Fuck, Ethan, I don't think it's possible for me to thank you enough for filling in for me." His smile widens as he watches Kara and Violet chat. "I couldn't have made this work without you."
"It was nothing."
"Fuck that. It was a lot. I know my shit is hard."
"It is. That on purpose?"
"More fun that way."
His gaze drifts to his fiancée. His eyes light up. He lets out a wistful sigh.
He's happy as a fucking clam.
This is none of my business. I should keep it to myself.
But I gotta ask. "Would you really have quit the band for Kara?"
"For Kara? No. Kara made me promise not to quit the band. If she asked? Yeah, in a heartbeat." He laughs. "You know what it's like when you love someone. That always comes first."
"Yeah, right." My words are hollow.
I'm not sure I can put anything ahead of music. Ever. I loved Violet when we were together. I want to be with her but I've been working on music since I was fifteen. I can't fuck up again. Not for anything.
Drew's voice is still dreamy. "I loved the guitar as much as anyone could, but music will never compare to family. Kara's always been my family. It's more obvious to other people now that she's pregnant, but she's always been my home. Wherever she is, that's where I want to be."
His dark eyes light up as he watches her.
He knows exactly where shit stands. Kara comes first. Their family comes first.
"Seriously, Ethan, anything you need, let me know. Can't offer much besides my skill on guitar but I'm more than happy to fill in for you."
"I'll think about that."
Drew looks to me and raises a brow. "You alright?"
Maybe. I offer Drew my hand.
He shakes his head and pulls me into a hug.
He steps back with a smile and returns to his fiancée.
I follow.
Kara is complimenting Violet's makeup and commiserating about graduate school. She's about to graduate with her Teaching Credential. She found a job that was willing to defer her employment for a year, what with her being due right when the school year starts.
Violet leans in to whisper something to her.
Kara laughs. "Aren't they always?" She turns to me. "Thank you, Ethan. I… I don't know what to say." She pulls me into a hug then plants a kiss on my cheek. "You're really a great guy. Thank you."
Fuck, I'm blushing now.
Kara steps back and whispers something to Drew.
He shakes Violet's hand. "It was nice to finally meet you officially."
She smiles. "You too."
We exchange goodbyes then the happy couple hurries to the elevator bank.
Violet moves close enough to whisper. "I think the two of them might be in love with you."
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