by Sheila Kell
His gut churned at the sadness that emanated from her words. While they hadn’t taken her away from her home and work, they’d taken part of her work—what had sustained her all these years—away from her.
“How about we make some lunch?” he offered. Being with her in close confines of the kitchen appealed to him. Maybe he’d find something they had to cook or prep together so he could touch her.
“That sounds good.” Without looking at him, she turned to her home.
Now, he had to figure out how he got as exuberant a hug as she’d given AJ whom she’d always thought of as a kid, even though he was only one year younger than she was.
WITH THE NEW arrivals staying at the hotel, nothing changed around her home. Caitlyn still didn’t see the security team except at mealtimes. In the evenings, like this one, they went straight to the room they shared after the kitchen had been cleaned so as not to intrude upon her life. They’d insisted on taking on the task of doing the dishes. She’d never seen more polite men, and Ken ma’amed the hell out of her. Granted, growing up in the south, she’d seen plenty polite men, but these guys took it to a whole new level of gentlemanly.
Sitting on the couch with Matt, they watched a movie—a comedy she barely registered. Hopefully she laughed in the appropriate places. At some point, Matt executed a high school move where his arm made it on the back of the sofa behind her head. Only, he didn’t stop there or try to cop a feel. His warm hand massaged her neck, relaxing her muscles, but the contact sent a tingling down her spine and lit her nerve endings.
She wasn’t afraid of his embrace any longer, but she still feared an increased level of intimacy. What if she froze when he tried to… to penetrate her? God that word sounded so clinical. When he tried to push inside her? She had no idea whether she’d be able to have sex ever again even though she wanted it… with Matt.
“Come here.” Matt’s hand on her neck nudged her closer, removing the small space between them.
The movie had obviously ended as the news was on the television. Still feeling the loving effects of his touch, she slid closer, and a sliver of elation slipped through her veins when she didn’t tense when their bodies touched.
Matt slid his hand on her neck down the couch behind her until it was under her butt, and placed his other hand under her legs. He hefted her in the air and deposited her onto his lap. “I want you, Caitlyn.” One hand slipped around to her hip and pulled her against his erection.
Desire blossomed and her heartbeat raced. Something inside her told her that she’d made a breakthrough already. She was going to have more before this night was through. She’d keep reminding herself it was Matt and knew he’d never intentionally hurt her. She wanted Matt with every fiber of her being. It’d been too long since they’d made love. Too damn long.
“I want you, too.” She wrapped her arms around him and placed her head on his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat until it seemed their hearts beat as one, even as fast as they moved.
“Caitlyn.” He cleared his throat, and the rumble from his chest eased her last shred of nerves. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I never stopped.”
She swallowed as her vision blurred, and her heart swelled in delight. When he’d said the words when he’d orgasmed, she hadn’t been sure he meant it, but now…. Could it be true he’d never stopped, even after she tried to ruin what love they’d had? In no way did she deserve this wonderful man. But she loved him with every fiber of her being and didn’t want to let him go. She had to be honest and hope all went well from there. She wasn’t a stranger in dealing with disappointment and despair. She could deal with it again, but didn’t wish to have the displeasure.
Pushing aside that they lived in different states and had jobs that tied them there, she looked up at him and blinked her vision clear. “Matt, I love you, too. I never stopped. But you have to know, I may not be able to”—she audibly gulped—“to be with you.” When she saw his jaw tighten, she rushed to add, “But I want to. I want to right now, but I’m scared.” Okay, so her nerves had come back. With encouragement from him, she could beat them away. But shouldn’t she have some nervousness anyway? It had been a long time for her. And the last time had ruined any desire she’d held. Until now.
With a slow smile on his face, Matt raised a hand to her cheek and rubbed her jawbone with his thumb. “We’ll work it out. I promise.”
How could he promise such a thing? He wasn’t in control of her body and mind. “But what if I—”
His finger on her lip silenced her. “Shh. We’ll worry about it later. Now”—he raised an eyebrow—“did you say you wanted to be with me right now?”
She nodded slowly since his finger still sat on her lips. Then the finger began tracing her lips and her pulse shot out of control. The things he did with his touch. Did he realize he turned her to mush so easily? With his confidence, she guessed she may have told him that at some point when they were together. Maybe he’d just learned her body.
“If I do this, you have to look at me, and you have to tell me if you can’t handle it.” Once her eyes landed on his, he asked, “Promise?”
Caitlyn took a deep breath, released it, and nodded. “Promise.”
“Good.” He leaned down and touched his lips to hers, lightly, soft and sweet.
A tingling left her mouth and rode down her body like it was chased by the devil leaving an urgent need behind. When it reached her core, she wanted to cheer. She also wanted more. Burying her fingers in his short, unruly dark hair, she clutched his head, trying to get him to deepen the kiss, but he kept his lips gentle on hers. Without considering the consequences, Caitlyn nipped his lower lip to gain his attention. When he opened his mouth and eyes in surprise, she took control and moaned in pleasure. With an intense need, she took charge and surged her tongue forward, devouring his mouth in a searing lock of their lips.
After his apparent shock had worn off, he tried to regain control over the kiss, but she wouldn’t allow it, and he must’ve realized she had to be in command, because he followed the movements of her tongue as they explored each other’s mouths and tangled like wildfire. At his submission, she shivered with a surge of power and control. The power to bring a man as big as Matt to follow her lead. To be able to explore and taste this sexy male specimen’s mouth on her terms.
Oh, how she loved his taste. Like a scent he carried, it was masculine. Not like the sickening taste of—
Abruptly she pulled back from the kiss and looked at Matt to clear her mind. So she didn’t look as frazzled as she felt, she tried to play off her breaking the kiss. She would not allow thoughts of that night to intrude and ruin what she’d decided would be the best night of her life. “Do you want to go to my bedroom?” she offered.
He searched her eyes for what seemed like forever, before he smiled and nodded.
Butterflies bounced around in her tummy. His smile was one of the most attractive things about him. It brightened up his face, and his eyes glittered with something that made one feel like that smile was special—just for them.
Scooting off his lap, she grabbed the TV remote and turned off the television and satellite box before going to her bedroom with Matt hot on her heels. An eager excitement built inside her bones. They were going to make love.
Inside her bedroom, Matt’s presence made the room seem so much smaller. He had a bigger-than-life feel about him. When he locked the door, a small tremor of unwelcome fear slid through her.
I can do this, she told herself. Purging the fear, she called upon her fortitude and moved to Matt. Reaching for his shirt and pulling it from his jeans, she didn’t look at him—only focused on her task. When he stood stock still, she finally looked up into his eyes. Those eyes burned with desire. It pushed her to an almost recklessness to be near him… be a part of him… be with him.
She tossed her arms around his neck and pulled herself up on her tiptoes. “Kiss me,” she whispered her demand.
That was all it took. His arm
s wound around her and pulled her snug against him. His mouth crashed down on hers in a hungry, demanding kiss. One that reset the fires that burned deep inside her. The fire that flashed to her core. A place only Matt had ever brought to life.
Before Matt, she’d never been with a man. Of course, since it had only been her father and her growing up, she’d not really understood exactly what to expect during sex. It hadn’t been like she could check out instructional books at the school library. It’d been before she went into college that Aunt Liz had explained the birds and the bees in depth to her. Matt had been her first lover after that, and he’d far exceeded her aunt’s explanation of the pleasure that could be had with an inexperienced college boy.
Matt broke the kiss. “Are you sure?”
How did she get so lucky to have Matt back in her life? He cared about her. He loved her. She didn’t know how it could get better. Sex excluded. “Yes,” she breathed.
“Remember that you can call a stop at any time.”
“I remember. Now, make love to me.”
With a lopsided grin, he slowly reached to slide Caitlyn’s shirt over her head. Without hesitating, she raised her arms, allowing him to pull off her top. Then eagerly, she grabbed his and did the same. Her hands came against his hard chest, and she moaned at the comforting heat she felt touching him.
He reached for her bra and stopped. “Are you still okay? Still ready for this?”
“Yes, now quit stalling.” She laughed.
“This won’t be the last time I check. It’s important I not take over and move too fast. I love and respect you too much.”
“I love you.” When he didn’t move, she reassured him, “Yes, I want more.”
With uncanny skill, he easily unclasped her bra and slid it down her shoulders. When the cool air hit her bare breasts, her immediate reaction was to cover them—hide them with her hands. It was that small voice that screamed at her to throw her arms around herself and hide her body from him, but she squashed it and stood proudly. She wouldn’t hide from Matt. So she stood before him bare-chested, and a driving need to be with him flooded out the noise of that screaming voice. As for her figure, granted she could be bigger up top, but Matt had never seemed to be displeased before. A sudden wariness crept into her thoughts. Had he changed what he liked? It had been a long time since they’d been intimate.
“God, you’re beautiful.” The rasp in his voice beat the wariness away. When his hands touched her aching breasts, she arched her back in pleasure.
“So are you,” she replied in a hushed whisper. She couldn’t get anything else out because he’d began to massage her breasts, as if weighing them for something important or… remembering them in his hands. When his thumbs touched her puckered nipples, she whimpered. Her nipples had always been sensitive and him teasing both at the same time had her core flaming hot, the flames being fanned until that old erotic feeling she’d thought she’d lost had ignited deep within her.
“I want to taste you, Caitlyn.”
“Okay,” she breathed.
“Do you want to undress the rest of the way or may I?”
A pang of nervousness hit her again, and she swatted it away, tired of allowing it to interfere. She knew it’d never go away—her past couldn’t as much as she’d like it to do so—but she could allow herself this pleasure. “How about we undress ourselves the rest of the way? That way, you can get your pants over….” She didn’t want to imply he had a problem, but she didn’t want to catch his pants on his artificial leg.
When she’d half expected him to rebut her comment, he just nodded and went for the button on his jeans. Shrugging, she did the same and that pang of anxiety returned as nervous excitement this time. She liked that feeling much better.
They scrambled out of the rest of their clothing, as they rushed to unfasten buttons and zippers before disposing of underwear. By the time they were both naked, Caitlyn’s need for him rocketed to desperate. She burned hot and needed his touch.
Naked, they stared at each other, as if one touch would bring an end to the fiery passion they shared. Breaking the tension, Matt crawled on the bed and moved to his side. He patted the space next to him. “Come here. I need to lick and kiss every inch of your luscious body. Be ready for pleasure, but know I still remember your ticklish spots.”
With a chuckle and a smile, she scooted up next to him. He didn’t even kiss her. He did exactly what he said, and his mouth went straight to a breast. She sucked in all of the air around her in bliss. As he suckled her nipple, goose bumps spread over her body. When his tongue flicked her stiff bud, she nearly came off the bed in ecstasy. The man was trying to kill her and they’d only just started.
In an effort to turn the tables, she moved so her breast was free from his sensual ministrations, and scooted down until she could kiss him on a level field. He was faster than she was and took her mouth, devouring it with his lips and tongue, showing her how much he wanted her to be his.
Breaking the kiss, she fought to catch her breath. Both panted as they gazed into each other’s eyes.
“I’ve missed you, Caitlyn. I need to taste all of you,” Matt rasped. “Like you got to taste me.”
She wasn’t stopping this. She wanted him to taste her. Braving it, she rolled to her back in open invitation.
Maybe a bit of her tensed and Matt didn’t cover her body fully as he moved down her torso. Instead, he loved her body from the side, and it felt incredible. Each kiss along her chest and belly ignited a match to her burning desire. Lost in his red-hot kisses trailing her skin, Caitlyn hadn’t realized Matt had moved his full body between her thighs, his head level with her mound. She took a deep breath. Oh, the anticipation. Sweet Jesus.
“If you can’t do this, we won’t,” Matt told her gently.
Inside, a small part of her wanted to scream, “No. Leave me alone,” but she didn’t feel the need to do it. She just had to remember it was Matt, and that he wasn’t trying to overpower her. She could do this—with Matt. “No, I’m okay,” she said honestly.
And after the first flick of his tongue on her, she was okay. More than okay. His tongue ran the seam of her wet folds, and when his fingers split them so he could taste the core of her, she moaned so loudly she was sure the entire house heard her.
She grabbed the covers on the bed tightly when he flicked her hard, throbbing nub. Her body arched in invitation when he sucked on it. His mouth and tongue were magic.
Imitating what he planned to do with her in a few minutes with his erection, it was all she could do not to come right then and there. She wanted to come with him inside her.
As his thumb rubbed her clit in unison with the work his tongue was doing, the erotic sensations climbed inside her, fighting to get out with each movement he made.
“Matt.”
He didn’t respond except to double his efforts in pleasing her. And he was doing that. His fingers joined the mix, and two of them slid inside her, curling to find that magic spot while he sucked and licked on her clit.
She hadn’t felt this much desire, lust, and pleasure in a long time. Since Matt. It was mind-boggling that she’d finally feel it again—something she’d been sure would have been absent for the rest of her life—with Matt.
Her flesh felt afire and her core was the epicenter, ready to erupt. Her muscles tightened, and she bowed from the bed as her orgasm exploded, shooting rays of euphoria rapidly through her veins to leave her in a state of extreme, sated paradise.
As she lay there, limp as a pleasured woman, Matt slipped back up her side, not on top of her. She looked over and saw him stroke himself, and her lustfulness returned full force. “I want you now,” she said. Every nerve ending flared red-hot, making her frantic for more.
“You’re in control. I’m yours to command.”
Although what he’d said hadn’t been the entire case so far, ripples of anticipation built inside her. She didn’t want the chance to freeze, so, like he’d done, she wasn’t about to t
ake the chance their position would do that. With a hand on his chest, she pushed him on his back. “I’m on top.”
A devilish grin spread across his handsome face, and she knew how much he loved this position. Although she didn’t do it to please him, she was glad it did. Besides, he’d just given her a monster orgasm. She wanted to do the same to him.
Seeing him lying on his back with his rigid cock ready for her, she steeled herself, gathering her courage to continue. Reaching for him, she wrapped her hand around his hard length and stroked him briefly. The man was more than ready for her, so she climbed up his body and positioned herself above his cock.
He stopped her movement. “Condom,” he growled. Then he pulled a packet from his wallet that he’d set on a bedside table and ripped it open, grasping the condom inside. He slid it down his erection, then motioned her to continue before lying flat for her pleasure.
With her hand on him, she took a deep breath and slowly slid him inside her. She didn’t freak out with him inside. Granted he wasn’t fully sheathed inside her yet.
It took a bit of movement, even though she was wet, because she was so tight. But when he was inside her, they both froze and stared at each other as if the mysteries of the universe were held in the other’s eyes. Realizing she’d stilled on purpose and not frozen up in fear, Caitlyn found out how perfect lovemaking had been. How perfect he felt inside her. How perfect he made her life.
She met his heavy-lidded, passion-filled eyes that smoldered with desire. “God, you feel so right for me,” he told her, mirroring her thoughts.
With his hands on her hips, he raised his eyebrows. “I’m ready when you are.”
Oh, she was ready. Nodding, she said, “I’m more than ready.”
She moved her hips, and he helped her achieve a rhythm that drove them with near ecstasy.
True to Matt’s old habit, he reached out and played with her breasts, and a blissful smile broke out on his face. She’d told Matt he was right for her, and that was the truth. The touches, the loving feelings, their strong connection all played into the rightness not only of them together but of the moment.