Blasphemous

by Ann, Pamela

  “Then…”

  “I was drunk, yes, but I made sure to double check if they broke and as far as I recall, they didn’t.”

  “Unless…” she trailed off, thinking.

  “Unless what?”

  “She had sex with you when you were asleep.” Her eyes were questioning, but her mind was recalling the times she rode me while I was asleep.

  “I would know, Emma. I hadn’t cared with you because it was you, but trust me when I tell you, I would know if she did.”

  She was crying now, breaking me as I watched the pain in her eyes. “If it’s yours, what happens then?”

  I was going to have a baby—my child, my own flesh and blood. The thought of it was terrifying and yet, I couldn’t somehow neglect the fact that if it were mine, I was more than okay with it. I had always wanted children, but I had wanted it to be with a woman I wanted to be with. However, life never pans out the way you pictured it to be. If this child was mine, then I would gladly take responsibility for it. “Then I would be a father to my child.”

  Seeing the hurt and anguish cross Emma’s face made me realize what really was at stake here. I just got the woman who made my life worth living for and now I was back to where it all began, at the edge of the cliff, not knowing if she was going to stay this one out with me or not. “I want to be selfless here and say that if you can’t accept it, then I would have to let you go.” I swallowed my fears and faced the only purpose I had in life. “But I can’t. I’m a selfish man when it comes to you. Please, tell me you won’t leave me. The first time was awful. The second time was wretched. If you leave me for the third time, I won’t survive this one, Emma. I’m telling you now, I won’t survive it if you chose to leave again.”

  She was shaking her head, kissing my chest, over my heart. “As long as your heart belongs to me, I never will leave you, Bass. I will love your child as my own because I love you.”

  “I’m so sorry to put you through this after what we’ve just gone through. It seems that hell is adamant for me to pay for my sins.”

  Emma clung on to me, solemn. “We can do this together, Bass.”

  “Together, my love.”

  I knew, with everything that I was and everything that I was going to be, it was never going to be me. It may seem rubbish and naïve of me to say that I was going to love Emma until I die, but it was the truth. There was nothing much more clear to me than what I felt for her.

  Emma was holding her ground and I wanted to believe her, so fucking badly, but I knew once push came to shove, she might have to rethink her decision.

  “Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is war; love is growing up.”

  - James A. Baldwin

  Torn Series:

  1. Scornfully Yours (Emma) out now

  2. Frayed (Trista) out now

  3. Blasphemous (Emma #2)

  4. Scorned (Lindsey) July 7 2013

  5. Fixated on You (Emma #3) August 2013

  6. Crushed (Amber) September 2013

  Chasing Series:

  Chasing Beautiful (out now)

  Chasing Imperfection (out now)

  Chasing Paradise (June 30)

  Lily’s Mistake (out now)

  Follow me for chats, updates and sneak previews for upcoming releases on Facebook or Twitter.

  Thank you!

  http://www.facebook.com/pamela.annauthor

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  Much love,

  Pamela Ann xo

  Read the first chapter of the upcoming novel Chase by Authors Chantal Fernando and Dawn Martens out on June 1st….

  CHASE

  Prologue

  I watch her from across the backyard, where I’m leaning against a wall.

  She is so beautiful; she is dressed in white and looks so ethereal.

  Like an angel.

  I keep staring at her, hoping for her to glance up.

  To notice me.

  To see if she feels this attraction I’m feeling for her.

  I’ve never felt anything like it.

  She is chatting with another girl, and laughing loudly. I find my own lips twitching.

  I don’t know what it is about her that draws me in, but I’ve never felt this towards a woman before.

  More than lust.

  Something.. else.

  Something that makes me want to protect her, cherish her.

  “Don’t even go there,” I hear in a dangerous rumble from behind me. It’s my friend, whose house I’m currently visiting. I ignore him, my eyes still on the angel, but he continues, “I wouldn’t let you near any of my sisters or cousins, but not her, definitely not her.” I bite the inside of my cheek. “She’s a good girl, and only seventeen. Come on let’s get out of here.” He slaps my back in a friendly gesture, as if to soften the blow of his words.

  I glance longingly at her one last time, before I turn around and follow him.

  I know I don’t deserve her.

  But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop wanting her.

  Chapter 1

  I was screwed.

  And not in a good way.

  I glanced back at the newspaper in my hand, the page full of red circles. After seeing five different places that were close to my university, I was down to the last one. The others had been terrible. I don’t even want to go into what the guy at the last house offered me; I hope he was still lying on the floor in the fetal position after I kneed him in his junk. I started classes in one week and I still had no place to stay. I repeat- I was screwed.

  I grew up in a small town with my family, and I’d driven up from there to look for a place. I’ve been staying in a motel for the last two nights, trying my luck for a decent place to stay that’s in this area. I stare at the ad for the last place. Room available for rent. 100 per week. Perfect for student. It’s only five minutes away from my uni which is perfect. I lay the newspaper down in the front seat of my black Subaru Forrester Sti GT and drive towards the house.

  I park my car behind a black expensive looking jeep and make my way to the front door. There is a sexy looking Harley in the drive way too. The house is gorgeous, two storey and modern, all cream and black. I knock on the door, and no one answers. I wait a few minutes and knock again. This time the door opens. A guy sticks his head out, blonde hair mussed. He looks two or so years older than my twenty, and I must say he is pretty cute. Pale blue eyes, a straight nose, and full lips, the bottom one pierced with a small hoop through it. Hot!

  He looks me up and down and grins, his blue eyes crinkling, ‘Hello’. His grin is contagious and I find myself grinning too.

  “Hi I’m Layla. I’m here about the room for rent?” He looks confused for a moment, but then nods in realization. “Of course, come on in Layla.” I glance down and only then, realize he is shirtless, only wearing a pair of boxer shorts. I blush and look at the floor, and then I hear him chuckle. I slowly raise my eyes to his amused ones.

  “Come on, I’ll give you a tour. I’m James by the way.”

  The house is amazing, spacious and surprisingly tidy. Considering this is my last option I feel like I’ve won the lottery. We pass four bedrooms and I’m very curious as to who else lives here. James shows me the guest room and it’s perfect. I thought it would be tiny but it’s more than enough room for me.

  James clears his throat. “So are you a student then?”

  I nod. “Yes I start next week.”

  He smiles. “Great! Well you seem normal enough. Definitely cute enough.”

  The last part was mumbled under his breath. I laugh. I know what he means, considering the last few places I just checked out. It’s harder than you’d think to find non creepy people to share a place with.

  “Are you wanting the room?” He asks softy. He looks almost hopeful.

  I glance around once more, I’m a little hesitant to share a house with men, but this place is amazing, and I’m currently out of options. Oh what the hell. I n
od.

  “I would love the room.”

  “Perfect! You don’t have any problems with parties and stuff like that do you?” he asks seriously, “because this is kind of a social house.” His lips twitched into a smile when he said the word ‘social’.

  I laugh. “No, I think the whole university lifestyle will be an experience.”

  “Excellent!” he responds enthusiastically. “Any other questions?”

  I shake my head no. James smiles. “Welcome to the family. I think the landlord is going to be thrilled at my choice of tenant. He’s away for work at the moment. Let me know if you need any help moving your stuff, okay?” He offers his hand and I take it, expecting a hand shake, but instead he places a soft kiss on my hand. I blush. “I promise we are awesome roommates, you have nothing to worry about okay,” he says in a gentle voice. Weirdly, I believe him. I get no creepy vibes from him at all.

  “I’ll hold you to that James,” I tease, causing him to chuckle softly.

  “We’re gonna be fine. Just yell out when you want a hand with your stuff.” I thank him and step into my room, smiling to myself.

  I leave the house and go to the motel room to collect my belongings. I didn’t bring much, a huge suitcase and two boxes. I still needed to purchase all my school books, stationary and necessities. James had given me a key to the house, and I’d offered him the bond and rent money, but he told me so take it up with the landlord when he gets home. He seemed like a funny guy, he even made a comment about feeling free to bring my hot friends over. I chuckle to myself, because at the moment friends are something I didn’t have in abundance. I come from an extremely large family, and this is the first time I am doing anything on my own. Instead of scaring me, the thought of independence thrills me. After my sister left the nest to travel, my mother has become extremely overbearing, and as much as I love her it feels good to be away from all that.

  By the time I return to the house it’s evening. I grab my suitcase and wheel it to the door, pulling out my key to open it. The sight that greets me when I walk into the kitchen has me wondering exactly what I have gotten myself into. Two guys stand there, along with James, laughing and eating pizza. They all look at me when I enter, all with surprise except for James who is wearing a huge grin.

  “Layla! Come and have a seat, I’ll carry your stuff into your room.”

  As James does that, I awkwardly place myself on a stool at the breakfast table, with two pairs of eyes on me. I knew my cheeks must have been bright red, as I waited for someone to talk.

  James walks back in and saves me by introducing everyone.

  “Layla this is Kade, who lives here with us, and our friend Derek.”

  I look at Kade, eager to see who else lives here. He looks a lot like James, with his white blond hair and blue eyes. His hair is longer than James, down to his chin, and slightly wavy. They are definitely related. Derek has brown hair and deep brown eyes, and is very handsome and muscular. Hell, they all are. Hotness overload. A soft sigh escapes me. They all say hi to me and offer me some pizza and beer, which I politely decline.

  “Oh, are you one of those girls?” Kade asks with a smirk.

  “What kind of girls are you referring to?” I say, eyes narrowed.

  “You know, won’t eat in front of a guy, or maybe just counting every single calorie,” he says, and I can hear the challenge in his tone.

  I burst out laughing. While yes I am a little shy, which would be part of the reason I declined, but the main reason was that I’m not very hungry. He raises his eyebrow at my laughter.

  “Since we will be living together, you will be able to see for yourself that I am neither of the type of girls you mentioned. But way to stereotype Kade,” I retort. “Trust me, I eat a lot. You’re going to see something special,” I say with a wink. Kade chuckles, slapping his hand on the table.

  “So where are you from Layla?” Kade asks, his voice now husky and low.

  “Umm, well my mother is Sri Lankan and my dad’s Australian. They live a couple hours down south from here.”

  My hair is long, thick and black, my skin tanned and my eyes almond and brown, hinting at some sort of mixed ethnicity. James walks over to me and affectionately wraps a lock of my hair around his fingers.

  “Can you cook?” he asks with a devilish smile.

  I laugh and look into three pairs of hopeful eyes.

  “Sorry, but, not at all.” I’m holding back a laugh, because they all look heartbroken. I can in fact cook, but I don’t tell them that.

  Kade sighs dramatically. “That’s okay, good thing we have a drawer full of menu’s.”

  “It is 2013 you know, you can pick up a frying pan and learn to cook yourselves,” I say simply, “gender equality and all that.”

  “What’s the fun in that?” Kade snickers.

  James chuckles, “Layla’s already busting balls.”

  “I think you are just what this house needs Layla,” Derek says, giving me small smile.

  Kade gives Derek a reprimanding look. “Don’t even think about flirting with our new roomie Derek, she’s way smarter than that.”

  Kade folds his arms over his broad chest, drawing my eyes to his ripped arms. I glance up at him to see his eyes twinkling. Busted. I shrug it off, “Come on you’re all pretty sexy,” I blurt out.

  Crap, did I just say that?

  Masculine approval all around. Yes, I guess I did.

  “But Kade is right, I am smarter than that.” I throw a wink at Kade.

  He grins, opens a beer and hands it to me. This time I accept.

  Kade sticks his beer out to me and I clink it with mine, giggling.

  These guys are good fun. We all make small talk. Play a bit of PS3, in which I must say, I am not too bad. I excuse myself and go unpack and shower. I wonder which of the boys I’m sharing a bathroom with, considering there is masculine products all over the place. After calling my parents and assuring them all is well, I jump in bed and fall asleep.

  ~thank you~