I Am Not Junco Omnibus: Books Four – Six

by JA Huss

  "I'm sorry as well. I know we've been dishonest."

  "Pffft. Dishonest? Please."

  "We've lied, kept things from you on purpose, misled you. We're guilty. And I'm sorry, I have no excuse except to say that I don't understand you at all. I misjudged you at every turn. It's all my fault. If I could go back, I'd do it all differently. Which should prove to you that I never saw these things you accuse me of. I didn't, Junco. We all knew Isten would die, but that it would affect you like this? No. We never saw that, we do not understand you. Not what you really are, not where you come from, not why you were made. The only thing I understand about you, Junco, is that you're capable of a great number of things. You are very powerful, you are a force. So it just never occurred to me that it would be so easy to break you. I did not see your end in Deliverance. Or how Kush would die. I knew Kush wouldn't make it out of the fight, but I never saw that end." He stops to search my face for some sort of comprehension, but I just swallow and look away. "You must believe me. Do you believe me?"

  Do I believe him? No, not really.

  "I'm not the Devil, Junco."

  "I know that, Lucan. I really don't think you're the Devil but I'm not sure why you care what I think of you."

  "I care because I see myself in you. I see your potential, your possibilities, and I'm worried that I'm sending you down the wrong path."

  "What's this got to do with sunsets?"

  He laughs softly and I look back over to Tier. He waits with me, still and quiet.

  "When we had our first honest conversation, the one outside Fledge after you killed those boys, you lamented over the stars. Do you remember?"

  I nod. "Yeah. I remember."

  "And I thought about how I missed the sunsets on Earth. That's why I took you to see the stars that night. I wanted you to know that I understand. I really do. I have been you, Junco. I was forced to make choices when I was young and I stand by those choices to this day. I regret the price I've paid. I regret that Tier has to complete a job he wants nothing to do with. I regret that you are my saving grace and you'd rather be anything but that. I have a lot of regrets, but I am not unhappy. I am, in fact, very happy, all things considered. I never thought the Seven would be like you. I've imagined it millions of ways, but none of them even came close to what I got. I'm so glad you're my Seven, Junco. And I want you to know, above all else, that you're doing a pretty good job."

  I laugh again. "Oh, crap. I hope that's not true, Lucan. I suck." It was meant to come out like a joke but the tears steal away any hope of pulling that off and suddenly they are streaming down my face.

  "I know it hurts, Junco. I know you're tired. I know you have doubts and you think you're doing it all wrong. But you're doing just fine. Not perfect, but I can't expect you to comply with everything. That's not who you are. You can do it your way. I'm OK with that. I believe in you, Junco, so I will step back and stop interfering with your goals. I trust you. I know in my heart you will do the right thing in the end."

  I sniff as I wipe the tears away. "I wouldn't count on that, Lucan. Seriously." When I look up at his face he is smiling. "What?"

  He just shakes his head and motions for Tier to join us, which he does, and then he continues as Tier and I both wait it out together. "I understand your need for revenge, Junco. But you might be surprised to hear that I've taken care of all of that for you. We got the Vegas lab this morning. The lab where they held you."

  "You have? You did?"

  "Your killing is over now, Junco. I got them all, except for a few technicians in the lab that we kept for questioning. And Inanna, of course. I have no power to kill her." He stops and stares hard at me after this revelation.

  "What?" I ask again. I hate it when they stop short in their explanations.

  He looks like there are words on the tip of his tongue but he can't manage to get them out. He stares into my eyes for a few fractions that to me seem to stretch out like years. "It takes a certain skill level to kill a member of the High Order. I could not, for instance, kill you now that Inanna has changed you. But you could kill me. With your SEAR knife. If you had it."

  My gulp is audible, I'm sure of it. He doesn't know I have one? I look over at Tier for some kind of confirmation.

  "It's true, Juncs. The SEAR knife, the knife coded for you specifically, is the only thing that can dissipate Lucan."

  "I am protected, you see. By…" Lucan stops here, maybe wanting to take it back, or maybe to think up a lie, or maybe just to find the right words to say it. "By another party to this whole mess. The High Order did not agree with the actions I took against the semi-sentient beings that used to populate this planet. But this other party, my counter-part, He did, so I was protected. I flooded the Earth using many, many Pillars and wiped out the pre-humans and then made a new race. I created the code that messed up the High Order genetics and corrupted the avian genome along with them. I was given that power and I used it."

  "Oh," is all I can manage to say.

  "But everything has a weakness, Junco. And you and your knife are mine. You could kill me right now if you had it. Just slice me in half and I'd never get back up. I'd be flung out into the Universe for a very long time. Eternity, for lack of a better word. Of course, I would fight you and I'd win. I'm much stronger. That's why Inanna won when she took you. She never gave you a chance to use the knife, did she?"

  That day creeps back into my brain, the shock of her being in front of me, so close. The revelation that I was High Order too and she wanted me to go with her and wait for them to come back. But Lucan was there as well. And I chose Lucan instead of her. "No, I tried, I was gonna cut her head off. But she just raised her palm at me and I went flying backwards."

  "She is strong, but she is also weak, Junco. She is not protected, she is just lucky. You are her weakness. Her daughter. Do you understand?"

  I nod.

  He stares at me. Hard. Like he's not quite sure if I understand or not. I'm not quite sure either, to be honest. In fact, I've probably got it all fucked up in my head, but I nod again. With more conviction this time. This makes him smile and turn to Tier.

  "Take her to the Vegas lab, show her everything."

  "Lucan, I'm not sure that's a good idea. She doesn't need that—"

  "Raubtier, this is not a request. Take her now and show her everything."

  And then he is gone.

  Tier stares down at me and frowns. A deep frown that stretches across his whole face.

  "What?" I ask. "What are you guys hiding now?"

  "Things better left hidden, Junco. That's all." He reaches out for me, not a shoulder tap as per Lucan's usual method of transporting with me, but actually draws me into his chest. He holds me that way for several uncomfortable seconds, and then we're in the timeshift.

  And this is not like any kind of timeshift I've ever experienced. Tier presses himself up against me and we are one as we travel. It's not like taking a step, it's not quick and clean. It's long and filled with heat and heartbeats. His heartbeat thumps against my body. The rhythm of it fills my head, it relaxes me and I press my cheek against his chest and wrap my arms under his wings and back around to his shoulders. We stay that way, entwined in each other's arms, until we are out of the tunnel and back to reality.

  "What was that?" I ask, looking up at the soft green of his eyes.

  "That, Junco, is how I feel about you."

  Chapter Forty-Three

  We are definitely in a lab all right. It's filled with avians, bustling about and doing things that look suspiciously like logging a crime scene to me. Cataloging things, analyzing things. It has an atmosphere that says they're trying to put all the pieces of this little puzzle back together.

  Annun is over on the far end of the expansive room, past the many genetics stations that are neatly lined up down the center of the lab. He spots me watching him and raises a hand in a half wave, then turns and walks into a room that through the small crack in the door I see has a crowd of white-coated
scientists in it.

  The leftover technicians.

  "This is where Inanna made her mutants and clones, Junco. This is where Irin lived."

  "Oh crap." I look around with renewed interest.

  "Follow me. Lucan wants you to see everything, so that's what we'll do."

  I hesitate, wondering if I really need to see everything. "Maybe—"

  Tier takes my hand, squeezes until I look up at him, and the rest of my objection is lost. "You'll be OK, I promise."

  A long breath of air escapes before I can stop it. I'm nervous.

  "And by the way, Snowbird?"

  My eyes are searching the room, scanning, and looking for horrifying things. When Tier doesn't continue his thought, I snap back to him. "What?"

  "Thank you for not saying shit."

  I laugh before I can stop myself. "You know, it's hardly fair that you get to cuss all you want and I'm held to some girl standard."

  "Since when has life ever been fair? If life were fair I'd have you back on that little habitat and we'd be lazing around in bed, wondering if we'd make it all day with no food or if we have to put clothes on and actually go into town to find some."

  "I'd make it all day with no food, I promise."

  His mouth twists into a sly grin as he leads me over towards a shadowed hallway.

  And that's when I see what's been going on here. The glass rooms are filled with a hazy kind of smoke and I have to press myself up against the window to make out the small shapes lying on the ground inside.

  "They gassed them," Tier says in a low whisper. "We did not do this, Junco."

  The air scrubbers create a small wind and the thick gas moves in an almost clump-like mist, exposing a pile of children on the floor. The cloud moves up one body and I can make out the pants. A pattern of flowers and suns. I wait, holding my breath, until the gas drifts up over to expose the face.

  Mutants.

  Dressed up like children.

  "They did this in the Stag too," I reply. I stare at the horror a little longer before turning away. "Only I was the one who killed them all back there."

  Tier stays where he is as I pass down the line of windows. There are dozens of these little room and all of them are filled with the mutant children.

  I keep my back to him as the words come out. "Does that change things for you, Tier?"

  I hear him clear his throat and walk towards me as I continue slowly down the hall. "What would change things, Junco?"

  "Well, now you know. I'm not just a killer of mutants on the range," I say, turning back to him. "I'm a mass murderer. I murdered hundreds of them."

  "Why did ya kill them, Juncs?"

  "Do you know the genetics of these monsters, Tier? Did you guys find the records?"

  He swallows and nods.

  "Well, the ones they were making in the Stag were children of Gideon and me. So I can only assume these little bundles of horror were made along the same lines."

  He nods. "They were."

  "And obviously they all come out the same way when I'm involved. Monsters. I'm not the Teumessian fox at all. I'm the Mother of all Monsters." He stays silent for this and I start moving again. I turn a corner and stop short when I see a glass-front door. It has pink curtains drawn back from the glass so you can see inside the room.

  I'm twisting the handle to open the door when Tier rounds the corner. "Junco, wait. It's not what you think."

  What do I think? I ask myself as I step inside. It's a nursery. A very proper, first-class, Farm Family-looking nursery made specifically for a little girl. There's a crib piled high with extravagant blankets and matching bumpers and pillows. Soft teddy bears and stuffed puppies line a few shelves on the wall, and there are those flash frames hung up everywhere cycling through dozens of images of Inanna holding a baby.

  A very normal-looking baby with bright green eyes.

  I read the painted wooden letters decorated with pink polka-dots that line one of the walls. The baby's name is Savannah.

  "It's not what you think, Junco."

  "I don't know if I believe you, Tier. It all pretty much looks like what I think."

  He walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my chest as he leans down to whisper his words across my cheek. "She's not real, Junco. She's not ours. I'm sorry, darlin'. When you said you were never pregnant back at the Subjack camp, you were right. Layla found your records here, too. This was Inanna's sick idea of a trick. A trick to make you behave and do what she asks."

  "But—she's got your eyes. And her name is Savannah."

  "A nasty trick, that's all it was. If there ever was a baby living in this room, then it was human, Junco. One hundred percent human. We've tested the whole place, looked very carefully for any sign of avian genetics. I'm not sure who she belongs to, and she wasn't even here when we came in this morning, so she might not even exist. But one thing is for sure, she's not ours."

  "Who would do that to someone? Why does she want to hurt me like this? I don't understand. Why does she hate me?"

  "It's an old fight, Junco. It's got nothing to do with you, darlin'. This fight is all about Inanna and Lucan."

  I look up to Tier. "Does she love him?"

  "I guess, if you can call that love. Obsession maybe."

  "Did he ever love her?"

  "No, Junco. He never did. She has always wanted things she couldn't have and she wanted Lucan to give them to her."

  "What does she want, besides his love?"

  "To cross that Bridge, Junco. The Bridge that no Archer, let alone member of the High Order, can cross."

  "Oh." I'm sorry I asked. Because I can relate. "Does she have a loved one over there? On that side of things?"

  He simply nods.

  "Oh." I can relate to that too.

  "Inanna is losing, Junco. She's desperate. She took you, and what she did to ya, morphing you into an Archer, was just about the most heinous crime there is in the avian world. You cannot even understand the horror of what's she's done to ya. But we all understand, and that's why we've been patient. It's not your fault this is happening to ya. But going forward, Junco, you need to be very careful. The Archer morph has consequences. Violence and anger sets off these consequences and you do not want to know what you might become if you give in to the urges."

  My chest is rising and falling in a weird pattern and tears start to form in my eyes.

  "Do you hear me, Junco?"

  "I do want to know, Tier. What will happen? Just tell me now so I can get used to the idea."

  "You'll become like that thing ya saw in The Book."

  "A vampire bird thing? With knives as claws?" I look down at my hands and wonder if they're in there right now.

  Tier takes my hand and lifts it up. "You're not human, Junco. You're not avian. You're not Archer. You are High Order."

  "I don't understand what that means," I say, confused. "Aren't all of the Archers High Order?"

  He shakes his head at me. "No. Lucan, Gib, Rache, Inanna, and now you. You five are the only High Order in the Sol System at this moment. And when they get here, next week," he says, lifting my chin so I look him in the eye. "When they get here next week they will want things from ya. All five of ya."

  "What will they want?" I ask, still watching his eyes.

  "Full compliance." He drops his fingers from my chin but I don't look away. "And Inanna, Lucan, Gib, and Rache have been planning for this moment for thousands of years. Inanna has a plan to appease them. She took you as an offering so they wouldn't kill her and she's hoping she can trade ya, darlin'. For that trip she wants so desperately."

  Holy fuck. What kind of mother does that shit? Even Carolinia Coot looks like Mom of the Year compared to Inanna.

  "But Junco, we have a plan. So if ya just do what we ask, we might have a chance. We cannot fight them outright, Snowbird. As much as I admire your willingness to do so, you cannot fight any more. Or you will turn and they'll take you away. They'll take you and kill us. And that's the best
-case scenario, really. They'll probably shatter ya after they get you to dissipate Lucan, Rache, and Gib anyway. We are walking a very thin line, Junco. It's microscopic. And all this running yer doing is making everyone nervous. So just tell me what you want, tell me what you need and I will provide it. Because Irin is waiting to enter her Pillar, and we need the Halo. It has potential and possibilities and we must have both in order to have any hope of living beyond next week."

  I really wish I knew what he's talking about. This thought causes me to laugh and that makes me look a little crazy. Tier's expression goes from soft to confused in a span of fractions. "Sorry," I say, still stifling down a chuckle. "It's just, I have no clue here. What you just said has practically no meaning to me, I—" I shake my head, that's what I do. "I want to talk to those lab workers."

  He huffs out some air. "Why?" is all he comes back with.

  "Because I want to look them in the eye when I ask them if they know anything about this room." I swallow hard. "And that green-eyed baby."

  "She's not ours, Junco. Layla found yer records, yer Archer tank is on the other side of the compound. You were not pregnant."

  I nod, but don't look at him this time. "I understand that. But I need to ask for proof."

  He frowns and this makes his brow crinkle with annoyance. "Proof? That sounds a lot like Gideon if you ask me."

  I smile at the name. "I wish I could see him right now. And it is his word. Man of Proof, that's Gid. I just need to double check everything."

  "Man of Proof," Tier snorts. "I'll fucking give him his proof. He's got a lot of nerve, ya know that? Leaving ya to fend for yerself, even when he knows the consequences of what that bitch did ta ya."

  "Wait, isn't Gideon High Order, too? She made him an Archer. He's got the marks."

  "He's got marks, all right. But they're not High Order marks, they're not even Archer marks, from our point of view."

  "I don't get it, then what are they? He's got a triangle, like me, on his back."

  "No, Junco. Your mark is not a triangle."

  "What?"

  "It's a series of stacked horizontal lines that form a triangle, but Gideon's shape is closed. An outline. Your marks are open."