Fallen Flame

by J. M. Miller

  “What do you think they’re talking about in there?” Haidee whispered before taking a huge bite of bread we had grabbed en route to the chateau library where the queen and Caulden were now talking behind closed doors.

  I inspected the piece of bread in my hands while I finished chewing what I’d already bitten off. “Everything.”

  She nodded. “Do you think he’ll marry her?”

  “Do you really think it’s up to him?” I shoved more bread into my mouth, needing to quiet my stomach as it twisted from emptiness and emotions.

  “No, not really. I was just wondering how you think he’s handling it. He seemed indifferent before they arrived.”

  “He wasn’t. He’s been concerned since word about their coming, more so with how Queen Havilah’s been handling the entire process. She’s not happy.”

  “And she has every right to not be,” Haidee agreed. “That discussion in the dining hall proved this is not just about a marriage.”

  It was my turn to nod as I scanned the hall and listened hard for any approaching footsteps, from outside and inside the library. The last thing I needed was to be caught talking. Captain Baun said not to give the queen another reason to reprimand me, and with how bad the day had already been—for all of us—I wasn’t prepared to test her tolerance.

  “This is about regaining control,” Haidee continued, staring blankly at the opposite wall. “It’s basically a polite way of seizing Garlin and all our goods. She covets what our queen has, and she continues to loathe our people for something that happened ages ago.”

  “She is also the one who makes the decision. She knows that Garlin holds no position to deny her. Our Guard isn’t large. We lack the ships they have, the defensive weaponry, a formal army. Their forces could take our peaceful island with little damage to the goods and soil they covet.” I paused, leaning back against the wall. “Of course, marrying Caulden and Anja would ensure their claim here, but she might not be too keen for Caulden to take the throne in Islain, even if it’s only a consort title and the Tamir name maintains rule. There is hope, though. If Queen Havilah gives her a fair enough trade deal, maybe Queen Meirin will choose to forgo the marriage and let the Bylors keep Garlin.”

  “I hate to think how the queen is feeling. She has to be hurting. For the prince. For our people.”

  We let the silence spread, listening to the intelligible words behind the door, the distant chatter downstairs. In all the silence, I could feel the one thing the queen felt more than hurt. Fear. She had no options, no choices. Her hands were bound. Even if Garlin remained our own kingdom, Islain would forever own us. And she was afraid.

  -|————

  Leint took over watch during the afternoon, posting at the prince’s rooms where Caulden had retreated until dinner. After speaking with the queen in more detail about the findings at the lake, Captain Baun gained permission to enter the chateau’s library—ordinarily off-limits. Along with a group of other Guards, Haidee and I returned with him to seek any possible information about the assassins’ origins.

  Captain Baun unlocked and pushed through the door, his body taking up the entirety of the frame, almost having to duck and turn to fit. “Focus on anything about the united kingdoms. Islain, Urelya, and Astone. Look for anything about family specialties, traits, and skills.” With a glance at me, he added, “Also, birds.”

  All the others spread out as the captain slid the curtains away from the wall of thin, arched windows at the far end of the room, spilling daylight onto the floor’s center. I stood next to Haidee, watching her eyes gleam and her mouth slacken as she took in the massive library. Aside from a fireplace, the wall space was comprised entirely of shelves stacked with books, small paintings, and sculptures. I recalled having the same look when Caulden had allowed me in to study with him the first time. My visits inside the library had been few, but I was awed every time. And even though it had been years since I’d stepped inside, I’d read quite a few of the books, Caulden often passing what he’d recently finished to me before returning them.

  “Let’s move to this section here,” I said, tugging Haidee’s hand with a soft laugh.

  “This is …”

  Like me, she’d stood outside the doors numerous times. But watching the prince or the queen pass through, catching a glimpse or even staring in, never compared to stepping foot inside. “I know,” I replied then frowned some as my stripped position came to mind again. “You may not come in here often, but living so close to the prince has other benefits. He’ll surely pass some books to you.” I ran a finger across a few bindings then tugged a book from the shelf and opened it wide, too lost in thought to truly see the content.

  Her shoulders dropped, the excitement falling a notch with understanding. “That’s if he stays here at all. Or if we stay here at all.”

  I looked up from the pages as she grabbed her own book to search. “If we stay?” Her words surprised me. “Even if the prince leaves, our people will stay. Queen Meirin will make sure our island provides for Islain.”

  “No, I meant us, as in you and me. I overheard two Guards near the dining hall earlier, just before we came here. They were discussing something about Guard Trials to decide who accompanies the prince if he is to leave.”

  I narrowed my eyes and cut them to the captain. Naturally, the queen would want to send some of our own with the prince to better ensure his safety. “I hadn’t thought …” I had never really considered leaving the island. This was home. Caulden and I had talked as children, daydreaming of what was beyond our island. We had lain in the courtyard one day and stared at the fog, watching as its movements formed grand ships and foreign castles. The queen had heard us and dismissed the idea quickly, the ships dissolving back into fog behind her while she lectured us about our home and duty. He was never really meant to leave. And being his lead ensured I wouldn’t either.

  But change had come.

  “Captain,” I said, calling his attention and watching him stalk toward us.

  “Did you find something?”

  “No. But I did hear something interesting,” I replied, removing my hood and mask, ignoring the looks from the other Guards in the room with whom I wasn’t as familiar. Haidee shuffled her feet—a nervous habit.

  “Oh?” he asked suspiciously, crossing his arms over his expansive chest, reading my tone and actions well enough to know my next words might cross an insubordinate line. He tipped his head back slightly, blond beard hairs twinkling as they caught the sunlight.

  “Is it true there are to be Trials for us if the prince is to leave? I would think that his own detail would already be chosen and notified.”

  His eyes flitted from side to side, noticing that all movement had ceased within the room. “If the prince is to leave, yes, there will be Trials for the Guards wanting the honor of accompanying him to Islain. If those on his detail want the chance, they will have to participate as well.”

  “Why not just address us as we are? We are his detail.” His avoidance of our positions was vexing. “So you’re saying that we will have to run these Trials also to prove our abilities when it’s already known that we are worthy enough?”

  “Yes, his detail will have to run the Trials,” he replied stiffly only to relax his arms to his sides and release a tiny sigh. “Though, that does not include you, Vala.”

  Haidee coughed in surprise beside me but didn’t dare speak.

  “What? I am on his detail still. Are you saying that I will not participate?”

  “Yes, you are. But as I told you earlier, the queen allowed you to stay on his detail with restrictions. This is one of them. You will not be permitted to go with him if he leaves, so there is no point for you to participate.”

  I slammed the book at my fingertips and gritted my teeth, anger flaring from the deepest part of my being. The judgment was not fair. “If he were allowed just one, it would be me. I am the most dedicated—”

  “This is not the time—” His words cut across m
ine.

  “The first one who would welcome death if it meant his life,” I pushed through his words without pause.

  “—or the place, Vala,” he continued, his own words raising in volume as he cast a hardened glare from his steely eyes.

  “You know I speak the truth!” I pressed on. “The queen knows. My whole life has been for him!”

  If it were possible, the room had gone even more still. The only noise was the captain’s slow intake of breath. “Perhaps that added to the queen’s decision,” he replied in an even tone. “Perhaps you’ve gotten too close.”

  I scowled at his accusation then slung the book across the table.

  “I suggest you take leave before I’m forced to report your actions. I’ll send word if and when you’re to take post.”

  Haidee bit her lips together as I loosed an uncontrolled growl. My world was crumbling, all my years falling around me like heaps of inconsequential rubble. I had been nothing but loyal, honest. Dutiful. And now it was being stripped away as if none of it had mattered, as if my life had been worthless from the start.

  I could feel the heat of Captain Baun’s gaze following as I stalked away without acknowledging his command.

  “Back to your duty!” his voice bellowed inside the library when I cleared the door.

  -|—————

  Valued grounds servants, handmaidens, and Guards with families lived along Chateau Road—the main road connecting the chateau to Florisa’s Cove with the crossroads to the eastern farms and vineyards in between. They rarely were individual houses, most only simple stone buildings divided into shared sections, no larger than two floors. Others who held details in town kept residences there, while those who were young and without families stayed in quarters on chateau grounds.

  Saireen’s was among the oldest and closest to the chateau, bunched with a few others, each with a single room and small garths of land between them and in the back to cultivate a garden, though not many had one. Whenever I’d travel the island with the prince, I would look upon the house, nostalgic for the woman who had dared to raise the scorched girl she had found abandoned along Chateau Road. If our lives had been switched, I wasn’t sure I would’ve been so brave.

  Earlier in the morning, prior to the greeting, I hadn’t had the time to dwell. Standing at the front door for the second time in one day and with more than enough time, memories of her took their hold. In the years prior to her passing, we only spoke at the chateau. I was always with the prince, and she had continued to work for the queen, so we never had time for a proper visit. Maybe in some ways I had avoided one, hoping to let go of such a vulnerable past.

  So it had been years since I’d stepped foot inside her house. Now I was to live there once again. This time without her.

  In my years away, the space had shrunken as if the roof and walls had been beaten upon a blacksmith’s anvil. I reached up and grazed the boarded ceiling with my gloved fingertips, feeling as giant as Captain Baun in such a tiny space. Through a child’s eyes, everything had looked different. I picked up my bags and walked past two cushioned chairs in the sitting area, past the fireplace that also made up the kitchen with its wide hearth and stone stove, then opened the door to the bedroom and washroom. I placed my bags on the floor, noticing some of Haidee’s clothing still hanging from a drying line beside the bed. Beneath them lay a basket of carved wooden toys and cups, those Saireen had used to soothe me, to feed me. My heart stung for her, all she’d done for me and for how she had lived. She had never complained.

  Hours had passed and the sun had set, a blanket of darkness settling around me. I stared at the cut logs readied inside the fireplace, but I wouldn’t dare start a flame. Even though some light would be nice, the warmth wasn’t something I needed. My skin was protection enough, keeping my temperature even. Despite everything else, fear was the only true reason. The fear that had ruled my life. No one knew what had happened to me those years ago. Was it a curse? Real magic? Taking any risk around the flames seemed like a death wish or maybe worse. Could it be me? There was no way to ignore how my body responded whenever I neared a fire. The flames grew louder than most everything else, as if my ears only wanted to hear them speak. My skin also reacted, tingling in a way, differently than what was caused by fear.

  Hoof clatter drew my attention from the empty darkness. Maybe the anger I’d roused in the captain had quieted and he decided to finally send news. I was outside in a few short strides, sword at my side, hood and mask on, waiting in the shadows for whatever message was to be delivered. But it wasn’t a single rider as I’d expected. There were two riders leading the way down the road. The queen’s horses trotted along behind them, towing her carriage as they had earlier in the morning. The moon was still hidden, no different than the previous night, but through the starlit fog, I saw two more riders guarding the rear. With hardly time to consider who was traveling, the first horses passed the house. And then Haidee’s familiar whistle hit my ears.

  EIGHT

  With several ships from Islain docked at port, Florisa’s Cove had become a different level of lively. It wasn’t the normal kind of rowdy often seen during the nights visiting traders docked or when our own would return home from Islain. At the edge of town, the smell of wine hung in the air heavier than the reek of fish, and the voices and music carried louder than I’d ever heard. Streets were brightened with every lantern available. Windows of houses and shops were also alight, everyone too drunk on the prospects of more business to shut down for the evening.

  Along the ride, as we’d gotten closer to the glow of town, I confirmed that the Guards leading at the front of the carriage were Haidee and Leint, which ensured Prince Caulden was a passenger. And because he wasn’t riding his own horse, and since the guards at the back of the carriage weren’t our own, I surmised that Princess Anja had requested an evening out.

  The piebald mare I’d taken from a house near Saireen’s neighed uneasily as I slowed our pace, keeping far away from the carriage to remain unseen. Haidee wanted me there, but whether she informed anyone else would stay unknown until we could speak. The carriage bounded past the keep tower—the silent beast of rock that guarded Chateau Road—and turned onto Trader’s Row, leading away from the main docks and toward the shallow end of the cove, where the merchant shops and taverns stood. I followed until the buildings grouped more densely, where people spilled out onto the road along with the music from one of the largest taverns, dancing and staggering about. To ensure a ride home, I hitched the mare to a post beside a bucket of water at the rear of a fisherman’s shop displaying handlines, longlines, and nets draped over sorted racks.

  I wasn’t surprised to see the carriage stop at The Siren Den—the darker-stoned tavern with wooden shingles sitting at the backside corner of the row. Caulden’s favorite. Not many people shared his affection, leaving only a few patrons at a time, which made it the most logical place to take her. We’d been there enough times, knew the owner well enough to trust his information, and knew the regular drunken patrons enough to pick out anyone suspicious. I wasn’t exactly happy about him trudging around town after almost having died at the lake, but I supposed if we had to be in town, The Siren Den held the best odds in avoiding foul play.

  With my eyes on the carriage, I crossed the road, cutting through the low lying fog along the edge of the buildings, using the shadows to avoid any sober eyes. Haidee dismounted her horse first and moved toward the entrance. After stepping inside to secure the area, she exited and spotted me at the corner of the building, well behind the carriage and guards. She held her hand up with a wave, calling me over.

  The rear guards eyed me as I passed. Despite a wicked urge to glare, I chose to ignore them then stopped in front of Haidee just as Leint had. I nodded and skipped a friendly exchange for what was more pressing. “Did Captain Baun have a message to go along with the call to join you? Perhaps a few angered words involving my spending another morning with Orimph in the prison chamber?” At this p
oint, after what had happened in a single day’s time, I wouldn’t doubt I’d wind up there again. Especially if they thought they could keep me out of the Trials to accompany the prince.

  “Actually,” Haidee said with a quick glance at Leint, who raised his eyebrows, “he doesn’t know.” When the carriage made a noticeable movement, she added, “We’ll talk inside.”

  Leint grabbed hold of the carriage door while I stepped aside, my back to the building and my eyes on the perimeter. Princess Anja exited first. She had changed gowns from the morning, choosing to wear a dark shade of blue similar to what her mother had worn. Her hair remained loose, some strands falling off a bare shoulder as she turned to take in her surroundings. There was no denying how beautiful and decorative she was, a fact even more pronounced as she stood on the dull and dirty Trader’s Row. I stole quick glances at her from the corner of my eye as hers fell upon me and stayed. Caulden hopped down from the carriage step and made to grab her arm until he noticed me as well. Leint closed the carriage door behind the prince, and I turned slightly, preparing to move inside. An easy smile appeared on Caulden’s lips as he locked eyes with me. “Vala.” A quick nod. “Shall we?” he asked the princess then guided her through the tavern’s door.

  I waited until all the others had gone in then eyed all the shadows and all the people down the road one last time before regrettably following the others inside—guarding the door suddenly felt like a better post. When I walked inside, the stench of sweat and mead wrapped around me like an old friend—an embrace tolerated but not fully welcomed. The barkeep greeted me with a silent nod, showing a little less hair atop his head since I’d last visited. I returned the gesture. We’d done the same any time Caulden came to unwind or to unravel completely.