Empty Without You

by Roger Streitmatter

  The resourceful couple also managed to transform one of the traditional duties of a new first lady into a holiday. Following White House tradition, Eleanor scheduled a meeting with Lou Henry Hoover to see the private quarters and make decisions about how she would use the various rooms. Unlike the other presidential wives who had come before her, however, ER made the trek to Washington accompanied by the woman who was about to fill an entirely new position: first friend. Eleanor even treated Hick to the grandeur of the Mayflower Hotel’s presidential suite—not the last time she would trade her austere ways for lavish ones on Lorena’s account. After spending the night and having breakfast in their room, the two women traveled the five blocks to the White House on foot.

  Only when Eleanor and Lorena arrived at the iron gates outside the mansion did they separate, Eleanor striding forward to meet the departing first lady while Lorena waited outside for what she later described as the longest hour of her life, knowing that this brief separation foreshadowed the much longer one that would soon place the women in two different cities. On the walk back to the hotel, Eleanor talked about how she would change the living quarters on the second floor. She decided she would occupy the suite in the southwest corner with its large sitting room, bedroom, and bath—the same suite where Grover Cleveland consummated his marriage to Frances Folsom, twenty-eight years his junior, following their June 1886 White House wedding—exclusively for herself and any guest she might choose to have sleep near her. Lorena nodded her approval.

  Eleanor and Lorena did not always agree. When the reporter first suggested that Eleanor hold weekly news conferences, ER shook her head. Not only did she have no news worthy of conferring, Eleanor argued, but why should she subject herself to a mob of rowdy reporters constantly criticizing her every move? Lorena persisted, promising to guide ER on how she could win the reporters—Lorena suggested the conferences be limited to women only—over to her side so they would write supportive stories. Still skeptical, Eleanor agreed at least to broach the possibility with her husband.

  FDR loved it. A master at finding new ways to manipulate public opinion, he immediately saw the benefits of his wife generating a continuous stream of news targeted at women voters. Besides, Franklin had the highest respect for Lorena’s judgment. During the campaign, he had told his wife that Lorena was a reporter worth paying attention to. “Franklin used to tease me about you,” ER told Lorena. “He’d say, ‘You’d better watch out for that Hickok woman. She’s smart.’” Concerned that Hick might be offended by her husband’s remarks, Eleanor quickly added, “He likes you a great deal.”13

  So with the double-barreled endorsement of both Lorena and Franklin, then the two most influential people in Eleanor’s life, she agreed to conduct her own press conferences on a regular basis. The sessions would become the signature element in Eleanor’s legendary success at redefining the role of the first lady as a public figure as well as a newsmaker independent of her husband. Lorena worked behind the scenes to help ER plan the details for the first session—such as Eleanor serving the women candied grapefruit peels so they would feel like personal friends rather than journalistic adversaries—and Eleanor would call Lorena immediately after that first session to report that all had gone well.

  Just how devoted the soon-to-be first friend was to the soon-to-be first lady became dramatically clear on March 3, 1933, the day Lorena committed her most egregious journalistic breach. She had again accompanied ER on the Baltimore & Ohio train to Washington, but this time, because it was the official journey of the president and his family for the inauguration the next day, Lorena had to ride in a separate car—holding Eleanor’s Scottish terrier Meggie on her lap. On that last night before the inauguration, the ascending first lady planned a quiet dinner and evening for herself and Hick in the privacy of the presidential suite at the Mayflower; they knew it was their last night together.

  The evening was stressful not just for Eleanor and Lorena, but for the entire nation. For people everywhere—from bankrupt investors on Wall Street to unemployed factory workers in the beleaguered Midwest—were turning their eyes toward Franklin D. Roosevelt in the desperate hope that the buoyant new president held the secret formula that would somehow pull the nation out of the worst economic crisis it had ever suffered. In an effort to answer that call, FDR worked late into the night on the final draft of his inaugural address. When he finished, he sent a copy down the hall to Eleanor’s room, and she read it out loud to Lorena.

  Thirty years later, Lorena wrote, “There I was, right in the middle of what, that night, was the biggest story in the world. And I did nothing about it. It did not even occur to me at the time, but I could have slipped out to a telephone after she read the inaugural address to me and could have given the AP the gist of it, with a few quotations. If I had, it would have been the biggest scoop of my career.” Indeed. For that was the speech that contained the single statement that, more than any other, would come to symbolize FDR’s approach to the Great Depression: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Hick’s priorities clearly were no longer on her professional career.14

  What was important to Eleanor during those momentous days jumped off the page of her personal engagement book. On the page for March 4, 1933, Eleanor wrote at the top “inauguration day” and then made a cursory list of the various public events—“Capitol,” “parade,” “tea.” The only entry that suggested any personal attachment whatsoever—or sufficient significance even to merit a complete sentence—was the one that recorded a private moment inside Eleanor’s suite. Beside the time block for 6:30 p.m., she wrote: “Said good-bye to Hick.” The following night, Eleanor commenced the extraordinary exchange of letters that would continue for the next thirty years.15

  One

  MARCH 1933

  The Pain of Separation

  The eight letters in this chapter were all written by Eleanor, most of them in the days immediately after the inauguration while the nation’s thirty-fourth first lady was settling into her new home and her new role. Unfortunately Lorena destroyed all of her letters to Eleanor written prior to November 26, 1933 (see p. 41).

  Eleanor generally wrote her letters at the end of the day, often writing in bed by propping herself up on her down pillows. She used a fountain pen and elegant, creamy white stationery with “The White House” embossed in rich gold letters across the top.

  The first paragraph of Eleanor’s first letter provided the phrase that ultimately has become the title of this collection of letters: “Empty Without You.”

  With this first letter, Eleanor established the three-part organization that she would repeat hundreds of times. First came personal words to Lorena. Then came a recitation of the events that had occurred that particular day, almost as though she were copying them straight from her engagement calendar. And last came more personal words to Lorena. In this particular letter, the first lady ended with several lines of verse.

  March 5th

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  Washington

  Hick my dearest, I cannot go to bed to-night without a word to you. I felt a little as though a part of me was leaving to-night, you have grown so much to be a part of my life that it is empty without you even though I’m busy every minute.

  These are strange days & very odd to me but I’ll remember the joys & try to plan pleasant things & count the days between our times together!

  To begin my diary, after you left I went to supper taking Fjr. [Franklin Jr., Eleanor and Franklin’s third son] & John [Eleanor and Franklin’s youngest son], Mama [FDR’s mother, Sara Delano Roosevelt] & Betsey [the wife of James, Eleanor and Franklin’s oldest son] & we were followed by F.D.R. & James just before the boys left. I went to the station with them & left the Secret Service man at home. (1st assertion of independence!) Saw the boys onto the train. Returned, had a short talk with F.D.R. James & Betsey. Tommy [Malvina Thompson, Eleanor’s secretary] came & we arranged to-morrow’s work. At ten Meggie & I took her to the gate & I
thought of you & “Prinz” [Lorena’s German shepherd]. She [Tommy] seemed very happy & said everyone had a grand time, also that you looked “stunning” dressed up! I then went back & devoted 3/4 of an hour to talking to Mama, then listened to F.D.R. broadcast,1 sorted mail & am now preparing for bed. So endeth my first Sunday.

  I’ll call you to-morrow night & this should reach you Tuesday a.m.

  Oh! darling, I hope on the whole you will be happier for my friendship. I felt I had brought you so much discomfort & hardship to-day & almost more heartache than you could bear & I don’t want to make you unhappy. All my love & I shall be saying to you over thought waves in a few minutes—

  Good night my dear one

  Angels guard thee

  God protect thee

  My love enfold thee

  All the night through.

  Always yours,

  E.R.

  [March 6]

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  Washington

  Hick darling, Oh! how good it was to hear your voice, it was so inadequate to try & tell you what it meant, Jimmy2 was near & I couldn’t say “je t’aime et je t’adore” as I longed to do but always remember I am saying it & that I go to sleep thinking of you & repeating our little saying.

  Well, now for the diary! Got up 7:15, walk with Meggie, breakfast in my room at 8 & suddenly Missy [LeHand, Franklin’s personal secretary] appeared half asleep to announce [Chicago Mayor Anton] Cermak’s death.3 Then she had breakfast in my room & I began to unpack & move furniture. Tommy & Nan [Cook, Eleanor’s close friend and business associate] came about nine and I left them in charge and went off with F.D.R. & James at 9:45 to Sen. [Thomas] Walsh’s funeral.4 I sat in the Senate Gallery & the coffin with the candles & lovely flowers looked impressive but I thought the service very unimpressive & the people in the gallery seemed to have come to a show rather than to mourn someone they cared about. I stopped to talk to the widow & daughter, saw [Secretary of Labor] Frances Perkins5 for a minute. She is a little startled to find how many purely social people write her for purely exhibition purposes.

  Back by 11 & moved furniture till 12. Then press conference of which I told you.6 1 p.m., all governors at conference [with FDR] & their wives to lunch [with ER], then a little more furniture moved & at 4:20 National Women’s Press Association tea, then home to find a mixture [of people] at tea with Mama. 7:30 Isabella [Selmes Greenway]7 came to dine & we had a short talk about her children & Congress & Anna [Dall, Eleanor and Franklin’s oldest child and only daughter] & Elliott [Eleanor and Franklin’s second son]. At last 12:10, bed & a talk with you—the nicest time of the day. A week from to-morrow8 I came back from the telephone & began marking my calendar, Tuesday week is so much better than Thursday!9

  My room is nearly in order & my bed is in the little room10 & I can see the [Washington] monument from it—a great comfort the monument has always been to me. Why, I wonder?

  Give Jean [Dixon]11 my love she is a swell person. No one is like you though. Hick—I love you & good night.

  Devotedly,

  E.R.

  On the day that Eleanor wrote this letter, Lorena turned forty. The letter includes the first of Eleanor’s many references to wanting to hold Lorena in her arms, as well as a clear statement about the importance that the first lady attached to the sapphire and diamond ring that Lorena had given her.

  [March 7]

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  Washington

  Hick darling, All day I’ve thought of you & another birthday [when] I will be with you, & yet to-night you sounded so far away & formal, oh! I want to put my arms around you, I ache to hold you close. Your ring is a great comfort, I look at it & think she does love me, or I wouldn’t be wearing it!

  Well here goes for the diary (let me know when you get bored!) Breakfast downstairs Nan [Cook] & I, joined very late by James. Then E.R. interviews Mrs. [Henrietta] Nesbitt12 & begins at the top of the house, meets all the domestics & talks over work, then with Tommy to meet secretarial force & 11:30 received [delegation of] Sioux Indians, at 11:45 the executive secretary of the “Girl Scouts” & must go to meeting (minus uniform) on Saturday at four. Then lunch & tour the White House, then take Mama to the train13 & had tea & took a party to the concert.14 There I thought only of you & wanted you even more than I do as a rule. Home at seven & Tommy & I worked till 11:15 & then I put all my children to bed. Elliott & Ralph Hitchcock [a friend of Elliott’s] go west to-morrow a.m.15 Louis [Howe] moved in & Mary Howe [Louis’s daughter] came to stay to-day—Missy [LeHand] moves in to-morrow.16

  By Saturday I hope to begin to read, & write, & think & feel again. What shall we read Hick?17 You choose first.

  It is late 1:15 & I am very weary, so goodnight my dearest one. A world of love & how happy I will be to see you Tuesday.

  Ever Yours,

  E.R.

  Tuesday night or rather Wed. a.m. March 8th—Hick dearest I know just how unhappy you are & I’m glad you’ll be with Jean [Dixon] tomorrow night & so glad you have Prinz. Give him my love—my thoughts are around you!

  [March] 8th

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  Washington

  Dearest, Your two letters this morning were such a joy & I loved your letter to Miss [Bess] Furman.18 She was outside Justice [Oliver Wendell] Holmes’19 when we went there to-day & I walked Meggie home so she walked along with me & told me she was sending me your letter & you were coming on the 20th!

  Just telephoned you, oh! it is good to hear your voice, when it sounds right no one can make me so happy!

  Diary. 8:30 a.m. breakfast & saw Elliott & Ralph Hitchcock off for the West in a Plymouth roadster packed with bags so the top couldn’t close! What a gamble it is,20 I wish I felt surer of Elliott. Saw the housekeeper 9:30 then about accounts at 10. Was presented by a California man named Staley with a box of dates at 10:45 in the red room & 11 the Cabinet ladies came. We agreed on no entertaining till autumn except for children’s eggrolling at Easter & veterans garden party. I told them I would receive at tea once a week (Sat. p.m. we meet the diplomats) & otherwise we would only have people in informally & Mrs. [Etta] Garner [wife of Vice President John Nance Garner] was much relieved. At 2:45 Nan [Cook] & I went to Sloane’s to choose some lamps [for the Roosevelt living quarters], then toured the town & back here for tea. At 5:30 Franklin, James & I went to Justice Holmes’. He is a fine old man with flashes of his old wit & incisiveness. We got back about the same time, though I walked Meggie & was almost rude to Miss Furman! She’s nice though & likes you which melted my heart! We dined [at] 8 “en famille” between conferences & it is now 12 & I am going in soon to find out if F. is staying up all night or not! I think when things settle I’ll have some privacy & leisure & I have better hopes than I had of getting away & of cutting red tape & pomp & ceremony! Perhaps we’ll be almost human by the time you come!

  I miss you so much & love you so much & please never apologize. I always know & understand, one does if one cares enough.

  My dear, love to you,

  E.R.

  At the end of the first paragraph of this letter appears Eleanor’s first recognition of the fact that she can expand the role of the first lady in ways that could be meaningful and satisfying to her. In the third paragraph, Eleanor describes placing Lorena’s photo in a strategic position where she not only can be reminded of Hick throughout the day but also can kiss the first friend’s image as her first activity each morning and her last activity each night.

  [March 9]

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  Washington

  Hick dearest, It was good to talk to you & you sounded a bit happier. I hated to have Nan go to-night & yet it is rather nice to have a few hours alone, so I know how you feel but I shall miss Nan to-morrow. She has been such a help & apparently enjoyed herself. The one thing which reconciles me to this job is the fact that I think I can give a great many people pleasure & I begin to think there may be ways in which I can be useful. I am getting some ideas which I want to tal
k over with you—

  Life is pretty strenuous—one or two a.m. last night & 12:15 now & people still with F.D.R. but this should settle things more or less.

  My pictures are nearly all up & I have you in my sitting room where I can look at you most of my waking hours! I can’t kiss you [in person] so I kiss your picture good night & good morning! This is the first day I’ve had no letter & I missed it sadly but it is good discipline.

  Now for the diary! Out with Meggie as usual. Breakfast 8:30, 9:30 housekeeper, 10:30 got splint for my finger21 & went to kitchen. Put books ornaments etc. around left at 11:40 for Capitol, back at 1:40 for lunch & James brought a California congressman making us 10 instead of 8 at last minute which was good training in our ways for the staff! After lunch some went back to Capitol. I took Nan to Mt. Vernon, back 4:40 saw 2 ladies for 5 minutes each, one brought gifts, one wanted to reorganize all government cafeterias! Tea, took Louis [Howe] to garage to see his car back, dressed for dinner & to-night dictated to Tommy, signed oodles of mail, took Nan to train & Tommy home. Gus [Gennerich]22 paid me a long visit while I signed & now 12:35 & to bed!

  Anna & the children23 left to-day at 2. So I have asked John [Boet-tiger]24 to go for a drive with me to-morrow a.m. Remind me to show you a note he wrote me, he is pretty sweet & I am so sorry for them [because they had to keep their love a secret]. James left at 3:30 by plane for Boston & returns with Betsey & Sara Saturday night. Betsey wired that Elliott has reached Little Rock! Here is the chronicle of my family, a bit varied, isn’t it?

  One more day marked off my dear. My dear if you meet me [in public] may I forget there are other reporters present or must I behave? I shall want to hug you to death. I can hardly wait!

  A world of love to you & good night & God bless you “light of my life,”

  E.R.

  The first paragraph of this letter contains one of Eleanor’s many cryptic messages about her relationship with Lorena.