“It’s rather strange, because I truly loved him. But somehow it just didn’t feel right. I can’t explain it, but it wasn’t fair to him.”
“I’m sorry,” Bess said. “You’ll find the right person.”
“Maybe,” Linda said with a look of resignation on her face. “It’s hard to talk about it.”
They crossed the street away from the noisy saloons and walked back to the hotel in silence. When they got back to their room, Bess felt slightly nervous for some reason, as if she couldn’t contain the butterflies dancing in her stomach. Linda looked totally comfortable and Bess wondered if she, too, might be nervous. They changed into their nightgowns and Linda extinguished the kerosene lamp on the bedside table as they both climbed into bed.
Bess lay on her back, her arms at her sides, stiff as a board. It was almost as if she couldn’t move. She thought that if she were to touch Linda, an electric shock might run through her body.
“Thank you for making it a nice day, Bess,” Linda said, breaking the silence.
“Thank you, Linda. It was special for me. I so much appreciate meeting you. I’m so glad we can spend a couple of days together.”
“It’s good,” Linda said. She paused, and said, “Can I ask you a personal question?” She turned to her side and faced Bess.
“Sure.”
“Have you been engaged? Or had a boyfriend?”
“Not engaged,” Bess said. “There was a boy who was interested in me, but I didn’t feel the same about him.” Bess felt a little bit uncomfortable, but also felt that she could trust Linda with her feelings. Personal relationships and her intimate feelings weren’t something she had ever talked about openly, especially with a stranger. But for some reason, she felt that she could express herself to Linda.
“I wasn’t drawn to my fiancé as a woman would usually be to a man,” Linda said in what Bess thought was a guarded voice. “I’ve never felt that I wanted to be close to men.”
Linda was touching on a subject that had been taboo in Bess’s mind but was, indeed, very real. She didn’t feel physically attracted to men, either. She thought about the time during her senior year at the school dance when Jake had wanted to kiss her, but she didn’t let him. She hadn’t wanted that at all.
“Me neither,” Bess said.
“I’m more drawn to women,” Linda said quietly as though she were treading on a sensitive subject.
Bess’s heart pounded in her chest. I feel the same way, she thought. She remembered when Mary Ann stayed for five nights at her house and they had shared the same bed—embracing and kissing. Bess didn’t know what to say and was silent for a few minutes.
Then, for the first time in her life, Bess uttered the words aloud, “I’m drawn to women too.”
Suddenly, the air in the room felt stale and heavy, and Bess thought she would suffocate. They both lay in bed in silence, and after a few moments, Bess turned over to go to sleep. She felt Linda’s hand reaching over for hers. Linda gently grasped her hand and gave it a tight squeeze. Bess responded with a squeeze. Bess’s breath quickened at Linda’s touch, and she suddenly felt self-conscious that Linda would feel her heart slamming out of her chest. But she felt safe and comfortable. She turned and faced Linda. “It’s been a wonderful day—being with you.”
“I feel the same, Bess.”
During the night, Bess woke up and didn’t know where she was. After a moment, she realized that she was lying close to Linda and had her arm draped across her. Linda stirred, then turned toward Bess. Bess’s cheeks and ears burned.
“Hi,” Linda said.
Bess blinked and smiled. “Hi.”
Then they kissed.
They held one another tightly and kissed again. And again. Bess’s head was spinning and she felt a sense of warmth and comfort unlike any she had ever experienced before.
Chapter Eight
Early-spring mornings are often beautiful in North Dakota with the sound of the birds and the blue cloudless sky making everything all the more vibrant. This morning was special. Bess could still feel the warmth and comfort of Linda’s body as they embraced while they slept. And that first kiss. And the others. She felt a warm glow all over and relived each moment over and over in her mind. What does this mean? Never in her life had she felt so … free.
Linda waltzed into the room from the lavatory down the hall. “Your turn,” she said as she gave Bess a hug.
Bess smiled and hugged her back. “Lots of work to do today.”
It was difficult for Bess to walk out of the room because she wanted to continue to hug Linda. And to kiss her. Her warm embrace had made Bess tingle. That Linda had decided to stay a couple of days made Bess happy, because she knew how lonely and difficult it would be to face the job of getting prepared for homesteading all by herself. Sure, she had her lists, but being with Linda would make things easier.
Holding Linda in her arms had been an exhilarating experience and reminded Bess of Mary Ann. Bess thought about Mary Ann and hoped that she was now happy on the farm, keeping house for Jake.
As Bess washed up and prepared herself for the upcoming tasks ahead, she thought about the goals she had set for herself to accomplish in Dickinson and the obstacles in her path. Her plan raced through her mind.
First, she needed to visit the land office where she could see the homesteading maps and discover what might be available down south. From the research she had done in the Cando library, the conversations she had had with the Hansons and Don Grant the lawyer, and from the many brochures she had received from various land companies, her primary thoughts about a good location focused south in the area of the little town of Haley, North Dakota, along the north fork of the Grand River.
Second, she needed to purchase supplies that she would require immediately upon arriving in Haley. These included basic tools such as a shovel, hammer and nails, pitchfork, hoe, rake, axe, scythe, a pick, and some related tools she would need when constructing a shelter for herself on the homestead. After purchasing the items, Bess could have them hauled down to Haley on the freight line from Dickinson.
Third, she would need a small stove and some piping for the smoke exhaust. She knew there was considerable coal available in the Haley area because of the abundant lignite coal mines, so it would be a coal-fired stove.
Fourth, and most important, she would need a good horse, along with saddle, bridle, and blanket. That would be a major task and one for which she knew she should be very careful and deliberate. She wanted to find a relatively young, healthy mare, much like Patches, who was gentle, well-tempered, and easy to ride. Papa had made a list about how to buy a horse and Bess intended to review that carefully before making any purchase.
Bess made her own mental list as she was getting herself ready for the day, but she had her written lists that she and Papa made before she left Cando. She didn’t want to forget anything that was of vital importance before making the journey to Haley, which was about eighty miles south of Dickinson on the North Dakota/South Dakota state line.
When she finished getting herself ready for the day, she went back to the room. Linda was already dressed in the work clothes that Bess had loaned her because she had packed only dresses for her trip. Linda was almost exactly Bess’s size, so she easily fit into her clothing. Neither of them wanted to look like ladies out for a stroll in town, so they wore light-brown trousers and white blouses with scarves they could use if necessary. Each had tied her hair up in a bun. It looked like the day would be warm and sunny, so they would not need any wrap or coat.
They went downstairs for a nice breakfast of pancakes and eggs. As Papa used to tell her, “pancakes stick to your ribs,” so maybe they wouldn’t have to worry about going hungry during the day. The cook had provided some chokecherry syrup for the pancakes—something new for Bess, but the cook told her that chokecherries were indigenous to the area.
After breakfast, their first stop was at the Western Land Securities Company.
Bess felt j
ittery … it was finally happening! “All we need to do is go over locations where there’s a lot of homesteading activity. I’m not going to actually buy land; I’m going to file for a homestead in the area where the company doesn’t own the land,” she said softly. She told Linda that she would need to file for the tract of land that she wanted to homestead, prove up on it for five years, and then it would be hers. “When I do that,” she said proudly, “I’ll get a document that will be signed by the President of the United States!”
They headed inside and were greeted by an older, portly gentleman who introduced himself as the manager of the office. “Good morning, ladies,” he said with a grin. “Can I help you?”
His face was tanned and weathered, his hair was uncombed, and he had scruffy grey whiskers that made him look like he hadn’t had a shave for several days or perhaps was trying to grow a beard. He had wrinkles on his forehead and cheeks, making his face, what they could see of it, appear like the surface of a walnut. He wore glasses and had a visor placed low over his beady eyes. He wore a wrinkled white shirt with stains on the sleeves, and a black bow tie.
“Good morning,” said Bess. “We would like to look at some of your homesteading brochures.”
“Over here,” said the man, who didn’t introduce himself. He pointed to a small room to the left of the entrance and to a table in the center of the room. The table was covered with many brochures and what appeared to be magazines. The back wall of the room had shelves from floor to ceiling filled with books and files neatly labeled and organized in carefully arranged rows on the shelves. There were two filing cabinets near the door to the room.
Bess and Linda walked into the room with the manager. “We’re interested in land down around Haley,” said Bess. “To the south.”
“Quite a bit down there,” said the manager as he pulled a couple of folders from one of the shelves. “Good land. Lots of interest.”
“Do you have any homestead maps?” asked Bess innocently.
The man looked at her with a look of curiosity. “Homesteading?”
“Yes.”
“Of course,” he said as he went to one of the file cabinets and pulled out three folders. “Some down near Bowman—in that folder,” he said as he pointed, “and some south of Scranton down and into South Dakota.” He pointed to the two others. “Take your time looking,” he said pleasantly. He opened the Scranton and South Dakota folders.
Bess thought he must consider it rather odd that two women would be looking for land to purchase. Bess didn’t tell him their true purpose in looking at the materials. “Quite a bit of activity south of Scranton,” he said as he pointed to one of the maps. “Not much yet in South Dakota. Most of the purchases have been between New England and Haley, mostly to the north.” He pointed to an area about twenty miles north of Haley near New England.
Bess and Linda both smiled. “Thank you,” said Bess.
The manager left the room and Bess and Linda sat down at the table to go through the brochures and maps. “Think he knows what we’re doing?” whispered Linda with a chuckle.
“Don’t know,” said Bess. “Maybe. Maybe not.” She smiled.
It was clear that the company didn’t own land in the Haley area, but their maps clearly showed there was land to homestead, particularly across the state line in Harding County, South Dakota. Haley was almost directly on the state line, so that piqued Bess’s interest. The problem with the land in South Dakota meant that she would have to go to the town of Lemmon, South Dakota, which was about forty miles east of Haley, in order to file her claim.
Bess and Linda spent about three hours looking at possibilities and writing down the exact descriptions of the sections of land that might be available. A section of land consisted of a square with 640 acres. Under the provisions of the Homestead Act, homesteaders could file on a quarter section, or 160 acres. There were several quarter sections directly south of Haley, and two that were on the state line. The Hansons had told her that when they did their research, they found that the South Dakota land had just opened for homesteading, so there had not been much activity south of the state line. Bess felt confident that the chances of her securing a reasonable section were quite good. The land company manager told them that most of the land purchases during the recent month had been farther west and north of Haley, which was encouraging news.
Linda seemed interested, and enthusiastic about homesteading. Bess had fleeting thoughts that maybe there was an outside chance they could homestead together, but she didn’t come right out and make such a suggestion. After all, Linda had expressed a desire to spend some time in Miles City, Montana with her relatives before considering any drastic life change. Bess couldn’t suppress the thought, though, because Linda’s interest seemed high, and meeting her was exciting and encouraging. Linda is so much like me, thought Bess. She wondered what might happen in the future, as her body tingled whenever she thought of Linda’s touch.
When they had finished, they walked into the main area of the land office and thanked the manager. He again gave them a look of curiosity, then shook their hands. “Glad to help,” he said. “Come back any time.”
It was shortly past noon when they left the land office and there was a small restaurant with a sign in the front that said “Paul’s Lunch” across the street. “Hungry?” Bess asked Linda.
“I suppose we could have something,” said Linda as they walked together to the restaurant. Paul’s Lunch featured hearty home cooking, and while they were not very hungry, they couldn’t resist ordering some fried chicken. It tasted so fresh and reminded Bess of Mama’s cooking.
As they were finishing their fried chicken, Bess said, “I have a list of things to buy that I have to ship down to Haley on the freight line,” Bess said.
“What kinds of things?” Linda asked.
Bess pulled out the list of items that she and Papa had carefully prepared. “See?” she said as she proudly pointed to the list. “Not much--basically tools—a hammer, shovel, some nails, an axe, things like that. Papa helped me with this. Part of the plan,” she laughed.
The land office manager had told her there was an excellent hardware store in Haley, which was reassuring. “It’s called the Currie Store,” he said. “Supplies a lot of the homesteaders down there.” Bess did not have much detailed information about stores in the town of Haley, and she definitely didn’t want to have to travel eighty miles to Dickinson each time she needed to buy some tools.
The hardware store in Dickinson was the largest Bess had ever seen—certainly more than Bess had expected. “This is a very big store,” Bess said quietly to Linda as they began to walk up and down the well-stocked aisles. Bess pulled out her list and asked the clerk who was stocking one of the shelves if she could use a cart.
“Certainly, miss,” the clerk said pleasantly. He went to the back of the store and wheeled out a large cart with a flat bed, four squeaky wheels, and a large metal handle, which Bess and Linda could use to lug the heavy cart around the store.
Finding the tools and hardware on her list was not difficult because the general store was well organized and it took only about half an hour for Bess to complete gathering the supplies on her list.
“Think you have enough?” laughed Linda as they wheeled the cart slowly to the clerk in the back of the store.
“Got all on my list,” grinned Bess.
Bess explained to the clerk about her need to have the items sent to Haley.
“Do that all the time,” said the clerk. “The Curries, the folks who own the hardware store in Haley, have a freight line that hauls freight twice a week from here to Haley. We can deliver your supplies over to their freight office on the east side of town and they can ship them down. Freight goes in a couple of days.”
After Bess finished purchasing her supplies and arranging for the shipment, she and Linda spent some time walking around the bustling town. During the three years after she’d graduated from high school, she had collected as much in
formation as she could about the area.
“I know quite a bit about Dickinson,” Bess said as they walked slowly down the wooden sidewalks of the main street.
Linda seemed fascinated by the depth of Bess’s knowledge.
There was a small park just to the south of the hardware store and Bess and Linda found a comfortable park bench to sit and rest. “I’ll tell you what I know about Dickinson,” said Bess.
“First, it was founded around 1883 and was the main town this far west in North Dakota. They first called it Pleasant Valley Siding for the Northern Pacific Railroad. It’s close to Montana and a good place for the railroad to store provisions.”
“Makes sense,” said Linda, admiring Bess’s knowledge.
“A gentlemen by the name of Messersmith—German, I believe—from St. Paul was the first resident of the town.”
“St. Paul,” laughed Linda. “A neighbor!”
“Ha ha,” laughed Bess. “They built some portable buildings down by the tracks—a water tank, depot, and a little makeshift hotel even with eating facilities. Not where we’re staying, though.”
Linda smiled. “Thankfully.”
“Later, a man—Dickinson was his last name—bought some land by the railroad and laid out the town plat. They named the town after him and called it the Queen City of the West.”
“Good promotion for the town,” said Linda.
“Yes,” said Bess. “The town then grew rapidly. It became as it is now, a place from which farmers and ranchers can ship their cattle to Chicago and their grain crops to Minneapolis.”
“Sent them to me!” Linda laughed. “You certainly did your research.”
“Well, I had about three years to do it from the time I graduated from high school until now. I probably know more than most folks around here.” Bess felt that her comment might have sounded a little smug, but Linda laughed in agreement.
“You should be a teacher, Bess. Is there a test?” chuckled Linda in jest.
Bess: A Pioneer Woman's Journey of Courage, Grit and Love Page 7