Avalon Revamped

by O. M. Grey

  Pathetic.

  Monstrous, even.

  Cowardly, for sure.

  There was never any excuse for victimizing an innocent, no matter how much pain one endured. Everyone had their ghosts, but not everyone transferred their hell to others for their own benefit. Those that did, like Nesbitt, would get that hell transferred back to them and then some.

  “Good evening, sir,” I said and curtsied to Baron Vincent Von Rictus Baine.

  “Ah! Miss Sopha! Delighted to see you again! Are you enjoying the cruise thus far?”

  “Oh, yes. I am indeed! Earlier I went on the stargazing tour, and that was very cold to be up there at night. I’ve stayed down here for the rest of the evening, but I do believe I shall be calling it a night soon enough. Big day, tomorrow. Although, I think I shall stay inside and get some writing done.”

  “Will you not see Paris at all?”

  “Well, I’ll tell you a secret, Vincent. I’m here for a very important business meeting that could very well start my career as a journalist. Oh, sir, it is my greatest dream!”

  “I have no doubt you will inspire others with as much elegance and grace through your writing as you do through your company, my dear. How wonderful for you! Please, do let me know how it goes.”

  “Oh, I shall, Vincent! I shall, indeed.”

  “Would you care to dance once more before you retire, Charlotte?”

  “I would be absolutely delighted, Baron!”

  As we waltzed, we chatted about this and that as we’d done before. Just as I knew he would, he proved to be the perfect gentleman. Such a lovely man. With every word and action and genuine expression on his handsome face, he proved it. Not another word of romance or suggestion to pursue anything other than a friendly acquaintance, or perhaps even a friendship. No pouting or sardonic remarks about being in Paris alone tomorrow or my choice to write over his company. A true gentleman, indeed.

  True gentlemen, I found, had no need to tell you that they were gentlemen.

  They showed it with every breath.

  As the dance ended, my few moments of grace with Vincent were ruined. Nesbitt stumbled through the ballroom, colliding with couples on his way to the staircase. He picked up one of the poinsettia plants and proceeded to vomit into it before placing it back on the corner of the stairs.

  “Ugh! Why do they continue to invite that man?” I asked the Baron.

  “Unfortunately, he is rather famous in these circles. Between the tales of his adventures and his position at Oxford, not to mention his silly antics, he has become a kind of celebrity, I’m afraid.”

  “That excuses his disgusting behavior?”

  “Not in the least, my dear. People have a tendency to overlook certain things in celebrities, don’t they? He makes people laugh with this pathetic buffoonery, plus he can be charming, not to mention quite brilliant. He’s a doctor and professor of science at Oxford after all, but I quite agree with you. None of that excuses such behavior. I would not invite this man into my home or to any gathering. Not at all. I’ve seen how he treats ladies, and it is deplorable. I pity his wife and family, really. They deserve better than this pathetic debauchee. No amount of talent or brilliance or laughter can make that behavior acceptable in my opinion. I, however, am in the minority on this one, I’m afraid.”

  “I don’t think I will ever understand High Society, then.”

  “Oh, sweet lady, it’s not just High Society, sadly. I’ve traveled far and wide, even to other times, and it’s always the same wherever or whenever. They believe lies because they want to, not because it’s truth. People will look the other way unless if affects them directly. Then, they find, they’re alone, because everyone around them is doing the same. Looking away. Pretending. Yes. Something I cannot do, my dear.”

  “No. You are far too genuine for that, and I respect you, sir, for that as well as for your kindness. It is all too rare, indeed.”

  The Baron blushed. “Well,” he said, pulling out his pocket watch, “it’s nearing midnight, my dear, so I believe I will retire for the night myself. It has been a pleasure, as always, to chat with you. Do tell me that your meeting goes as splendidly as I’m sure it will.”

  “Thank you, Baron. Good night.”

  “Good night,” he said, bowing, then left, and I found myself watching him go with some longing to follow, a desire to love. If only my heart were my own. Best not dwell on that which one cannot change.

  I turned to see the doctor stumble up the stairs. He looked at his own pocket watch, and realizing the time, straightened up and with his sleeve, wiped his mouth, then smoothed down his dark uniform. Throwing his chest out, he climbed the rest of the way up and headed, no doubt, to his chamber where I was to meet him minutes from now.

  Best get changed.

  I knocked on the doctor’s cabin door, then smoothed down my white apron and ensured my now-blonde hair was tightly pulled back properly in a bun beneath the white kerchief.

  The door opened with a swish, and the doctor stood there, poised as the perfect gentleman.

  “Good, e’enin’, sir.” I curtsied.

  “Sweet, Claire. I’m so pleased you came.”

  “I keep my word, sir, but I just came to tell you that I’d rather meet with you in public first, sir. Perhaps once we’re back in London. This just don’t seem righ’, sir. I ‘ope you’ll forgive me, sir.”

  “Nonsense! You’re perfectly safe, my girl. I am a gentleman, after all.”

  As I said…

  “No, sir. I fink I should just—”

  “Don’t be silly, girl. You’re here now.” He grabbed my arm and started pulling me inside, but I resisted.

  “Please, sir.”

  “It’s fine. Like I told you before, I promise, we shan’t do anything you don’t wish to do. Don’t you like me? You kissed me before didn’t you? Were you just toying with me? Playing with the heart of a lonely man? You’re not that cruel, are you Claire?” His eyebrows creased when he said this, and he let go of my arm and twisted each side of his mustache, arranging his face to an expression of one who has been slighted. Bravo.

  “A’course not, sir!” My eyes were wide with fear of having offended such a noble man.

  I could hardly even think those words without laughing.

  “I like you, sir. I really do. It’s just, well, sir, it’s not propa, sir. Not propa at all, is it, sir? I mean, I jus’ met ya an’ all, and I don’t want ya ta think I’m a trollop, sir.”

  He chuckled at this, his face softening. “Come here, you,” he said with such sweetness. Gathering me up in his long arms, he embraced me and made a tsk tsk tsk noise. “Nonsense,” he said again. “I think no such thing. I respect you, Claire. Utterly.”

  Mind you, while he spoke these words, he was grinding his erection into me again. Before I knew it, he had maneuvered me inside and shut the door.

  “Now, let’s get more comfortable, shall we?” He pushed me down on the bed and sat next to me. I scooted away from him, and he followed, until I was trapped between him and the wall. “It’s all right,” he said, putting his hand on my knee.

  I tried to move it away, but he fought me until I gave up.

  “Come now, silly girl, it’s harmless. It’s just a knee after all. No need to get huffy.”

  He began talking about how it would be once we were back in London, and every few minutes, he’d inch his hand further up my thigh. His other hand would sometimes go to his trousers and rub himself a few times and saying, “Oh! Oh! Oh!” as he did so. Then he’d continue talking as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

  “How long have you been married?” I asked him and hoped talking about his family would dissuade him from progressing, yet knowing full well it wouldn’t. It was always interesting to see how these libertines reacted to mention of their wives and responsibilities.

  “Too long, I’m afraid. As I told you, arranged marriage. It’s all rather unfortunate business, but I don’t want to hurt them, you see. Th
at’s why we must meet in secret, just for a while. I have to let them down easy, you see. After the new baby is born, then perhaps a year afterward, so I just don’t leave her in a state. You understand, don’t you? Yes. It’s for the best. Yes, indeed.”

  “New baby, sir?”

  “Yes. My wife, she’s pregnant with our fourth, you see. Then there is the matter of her dowry. Oh, yes. She has quite a sizable one, indeed. Yes, indeed. Can’t have word getting back to her. No. Not yet anyway. You understand, don’t you, Claire? But we can have a real courtship in London in the meantime. You’re so young and…delicious. A few years is nothing to you, my dear. It will be perfect. Then we shall be together. Properly married.” He licked his lips, tongue sticking far out and swirling around and around the outsides of his lips. “Could I have another kiss, please?” he asked. “The first one was so sweet.”

  “Well, all right. But just one kiss,” I warned, and he kissed me with such tenderness, then pulled back and looked deeply into my eyes. His hand had reached all the way up to my privates, and he tickled my clitoris with his pinky finger while looking at me with a very serious look. With all Claire’s might, I tried to push his hand away, but he resisted. Then, in another instant, he had me pinned back on the bed, kissing me and groping my breasts with one hand, pulling up my skirt with the other.

  “No!” I cried. “Stop, sir. Please!”

  “Shhhhhhh,” he said. “It’s all right. It’s a proper courtship after all, so it’s all right. I’m a gentleman.”

  “I don’t want to, sir. Please. Not like this.”

  His hand had reached all the way up my skirts and into my bloomers. As his finger slid into me, I gasped.

  He groaned, “Oh. Yes. So tight! So wet. You see, you love this. Let me please you, just tonight. Let me love you, just for tonight. All right? You will love this. I promise.”

  “Stop! Please, sir!”

  “This feels good, doesn’t it? Come on, now. It does feel good. Admit it! Admit it, and I’ll stop.”

  “Yes. It does. Now please stop.”

  He kissed my mouth and cheeks and neck, then slipped another finger inside me and got more forceful with thrusting them in and out. Sitting up between my spread legs, he removed his fingers and licked between and all around them. His bulgy, black-rimmed, tea-colored eyes glared at me. The color reminded me of the mud on the banks of The Thames, filthy and rank. He started to remove my bloomers, and I grabbed both his hands, holding them steady for a moment. “No. I’m a maid, sir! Please, sir! I aim to stay one until I’m married as is proper, sir. Please let me go, sir.”

  “You shall stay a maid. I promise.”

  He ripped my bloomers down, then buried his head beneath my skirts and licked me, flicking his tongue around and around until I moaned. The entire time, I tried to struggle away, but he kept me held in place with his hands.

  “Stop. Please. This isn’t right. I’ll scream, sir! I will!”

  “Shhhhh,” he said, popping his head up, mouth and chin wet. “It’s all right. You don’t have to do a thing. Just enjoy it. It feels good, right?” Sitting back up, he started to undo his belt. “This is a proper courtship after all.”

  “No! Please!” I said and squirmed out from under him, running to the door, tripping on my bloomers, but he got there before I did and held it shut, standing between me and the door.

  “Shhhh,” he said again. “Don’t worry. I’m a gentleman. You said no, and I respect that. I shan’t put it to you, girl. You will be a maid when you leave this room tonight. All right? You can trust me. You enjoyed that, didn’t you? I heard you moan. Yes, indeed. You enjoyed it quite a bit.”

  “It was pleasurable sir, but I don’t want this, sir. Please.”

  “See? You liked it. I can please you more.”

  “I just want to leave. We can meet in London. Right, sir? Do a courtship propa. Like ya said, sir.”

  “Foolish, girl. What do you think a courtship is? This is a real courtship. This. What we’re doing tonight. Are you really so naive to think men and women just sit and have tea and chat for hours and hours? Ha! Now I promise I will leave you a maid, but you’ve had all the pleasure thus far. It’s my turn. You care for me, don’t you? You do, I know you do.”

  He pushed me down, and I tried to resist, but he was stronger than this young chambermaid was. He pushed down on my shoulders until I was on my knees, then released himself.

  “No,” I said, pushing against hips.

  “It’s all right. This is what people in love do, after all. This is a proper courtship, dear.”

  I tried to turn my head, but he held it straight and pushed himself into my mouth.

  I wept.

  “Shhhh. It’s all right. I’ll be gentle. Oh, yes. Oh! Oh! Oh!”

  Enough proof. Since I didn’t have a poppet ready for him, there wasn’t too much I could do without it being too quick, and this one deserved a long punishment as well, so I endured. I pushed him away with all of Claire’s might, which was just enough to get off my knees, since he was drunk.

  “I don’t like that, sir.”

  “I’m so close. You can’t leave until I’ve finished. It’s only fair, after all. If you leave me like this, I shall be right sick tomorrow. You know a man needs to finish? You do know that, right? Didn’t your mum teach you anything about the ways of the world, child? Everyone else knows this. I thought you were wiser than this. Perhaps you really are a silly girl after all. Everyone knows if a man doesn’t finish once a woman has gotten him all bothered that he will get sick. Really sick. You don’t want that, do you?”

  “Well, no, sir. I don’t want you ill, sir.” This man was even more disgusting than I had thought.

  “I’d be no good to you dead, now would I? How will we marry if I’m dead?”

  “No, sir. I don’t want you dead, sir. But I don’ like that, sir.”

  “All right. All right. Not in your mouth and I did promise to leave you a maid, and a gentleman keeps his word! Yes, indeed! Come. Lay back down.”

  I reached for the doorknob again, but he flattened his hand against the door, making it clear I wasn’t going to leave. I turned away and cowered in the corner, crying.

  “Shhhhh. It’s all right. It’s all right, sweet girl. You don’t have to do anything. All right? I shan’t even lift your skirts. All right? And look, I’ll put him away.” He shoved his penis back into his trousers. “See? He’s gone now.” Up until this moment, he had been stroking it while he pleaded with me. “Will you feel safer that way? It will be over soon. I’m so close. So so so close.”

  I nodded, and he led me back to bed.

  “You’ll keep your trousers on?”

  “I will.”

  “And you won’t put it back in my mouth?”

  “No. I won’t. I won’t even take him back out, all right?”

  “Well, all right. Will it hurt?”

  “No, you silly girl. Just lay back.” I did and crossed my legs, keeping my arms tucked in close over my breasts. To my horror, he started writhing against me, rubbing his erection against my hip bone, saying, “Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!” over and over again until his face made the most comical, twisted expression and his eyes rolled up into his head.

  He collapsed next to me and slept.

  “Doctor Nesbitt?” I nudged him. “Doctor? I don’t even know your name, sir.”

  “Hm?! Oh. Nimrod. But you can call me Rod, sweetheart. That was lovely. Splendid. Yes, indeed,” he mumbled.

  “Can we still meet in London, sir? For a proper courtship, sir?”

  “Of course. Yes, my dear. Of course. But don’t approach me on the ship tomorrow, remember.” He forced his eyes open to see that I understood. “We must keep this secret for now.”

  “What if we don’t get the chance to talk again, sir? How will I find you once in London, sir?”

  With his closing, he slurred, “Boxing Day, behind St. Saviour’s in Southwark. Tea time. All right? Satisfied? Can I sleep now?”

 
; With that, he was out and there was no waking him.

  Boxing Day? Looks like I’ll be making a new poppet or two.

  This would be a Merry Christmas indeed. Yes, indeed.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  ARTHUR

  I must’ve wandered around for hours, weighing options and thinking about what the Captain had said, for when I looked again over the side of the ship, I could see Sacre Coeur in the distance. Paris at last.

  This would be one lonely Christmas Eve.

  “Balderdash!” I straightened up and smoothed down my labels. “I wanted to be done with her anyway. Bored. Truly. Chastity is my love. She’s my true love. I can feel it,” I said into the night, convincing myself.

  The Captain was right. The love of a good woman was rare, indeed, but Avalon was the past now. Too much work to fix that. No doubt. Why not just start anew. Chastity. Yes. My sweet, perfect love. She would make me happy and fulfilled like no one ever had, and she would love me as Avalon did. Better. As Catherine did. True love, this time. For how could she not?

  With a skip in my step, I danced around the top deck with Paris at my feet. Chastity and I would explore the city together, and I shouldn’t have to worry about Avalon at all! She said she would stay out of sight. All the better. No need to cause more distress in our community. No need to ruin others’ Christmas Eve. No. That would be quite rude, indeed. She should stay hidden away. She never quite belonged anyways, did she? I belonged here. This was my community, after all. I brought her into it, but it just wasn’t meant to be. So Emily and her husband might not speak to me at the gala tonight, but they knew what was truly important in society. Before long, no one would remember this indiscretion anyway.

  It wasn’t even an indiscretion because it was love. Yes. Just a technicality that I hadn’t broken things off with Avalon, yet. She was to blame, really. Not me. Never. She was cold and withdrawn. She was overemotional. Clingy and rather mad, too. Yes, perhaps the prospect of immortality weighed too heavy on her frail mind. That must’ve been it.