The Rabbit Great And Terrible

by Chereta, Nelson

  The palace was different from just about every other castle Waldo had ever seen before in that it didn’t have an outer wall. One could walk from the street outside directly onto the palace grounds. To Waldo, that defeated the entire purpose of having a castle in the first place. When he mentioned this, the lieutenant told him…

  “Her majesty does not need walls to protect her. She is loved by all in Torikai, both high and low. The love of her people is a better shield than the highest stone wall.”

  Waldo thought about Castle Corpselover. I think I’d sooner put my trust in some thick walls, a strong gate, and a few thousand undead.

  Walking through the halls of the palace there were paintings, statuary, and exquisite pieces of furniture. All of those at least were real. The many servants they passed wore brightly colored clothes that would fit into a lord’s or rich merchant’s wardrobe. Despite the overuse of illusions, this queen was obviously immensely wealthy. She might even be almost as rich as his mother.

  “Darling,” Alice whispered to him. “Is this a good idea?”

  “This wasn’t my choice,” Waldo whispered back.

  “He didn’t say we had to come here. Couldn’t we have said no?”

  Waldo gave a quick shake of his head. “It’s not wise to refuse an invitation from a ruler. That would probably cause more trouble than coming. Don’t worry, I’ll meet with her, be my usual delightful self, and then we’ll return to the inn.”

  “Try not to be too charming,” Alice urged. “I don’t want us to end up in the dungeon.”

  XXX

  The lieutenant led them to the throne room where an audience was already waiting. As they waited in the antechamber the lieutenant came up to Waldo and had a very quiet conversation with him.

  “Whenever a mage is granted a royal audience for the first time,” Lieutenant Bartlet said. “He or she is told about a special law we have.”

  “Yes, I know,” Waldo said as he scratched his arm. “I promise I won’t dispel any of the wonderful illusions here.”

  “No, I am referring to a different law. Our beloved queen is blessed by the gods of the realm with youth and beauty. Her physical appearance is a sign of the love and adoration of our gods.”

  “Really? Then she truly is blessed. My gods mostly just laugh at me.”

  The lieutenant coughed into his hand. “That is not quite what I mean. Since her majesty’s youth and beauty are proof of divine favor, questioning or denying this miracle is considered blasphemy. In this country blasphemy is a capital offense. A handful of foolish and misguided mages claimed her appearance was the result of a common illusion. These poor creatures were immediately executed. I take it you understand?”

  Waldo frowned at him. “I think so, you’re saying I have to obey whatever laws your queen makes. Even if they’re stupid.”

  “Don’t commit blasphemy, Master Rabbit.” The lieutenant gave a quick nod and he and his men left.

  The door to the throne room opened, a herald in a gold and silver coat announced them. “The most honorable Master Waldo Rabbit of Avalon, his virtuous wife, Alice Rabbit, and his devoted servant, Belle of Tarsus.”

  Belle snorted a laugh. "Virtuous."

  Alice delivered a swift elbow "Shhhh!"

  The herald took a deep breath. “Weep in gratitude, for you have been granted audience with Queen Madis the First, ruler of all Torikai, beloved of the gods and all men, the queen of youth and beauty, the guardian of the gate, the keeper of the scales, the fountain of wisdom and mercy, the lawgiver, the keeper of contracts, and the living embodiment of all that is beautiful to behold.”

  Sitting on a throne that looked to be carved of solid gold, was a statuesque blonde in a gown that shimmered and sparkled; on her head rested a golden circlet encrusted in diamonds, rubies, sapphires, and emeralds. “We are most pleased to grant you this audience, Master Rabbit. You may approach us.”

  There was a small crowd on either side. Waldo, Alice, and Belle walked through the aisle between. Waldo noticed nine men standing in the front to his right wearing crowns. Only two of them were golden, the rest were silver or polished brass. In the front row on the left was Melissa, looking on stern and silent. The rest of the audience were well dressed and appeared wealthy. Standing beside the throne was a man in crimson robes, with a wolf in gold thread. He leaned over to the queen and said something to her. The queen nodded.

  As they approached, Alice leaned whispered in her husband’s ear. “Darling, I don’t like the way she is staring at me.”

  On her throne, Madis licked her lips.

  “I’m sure it’s fine, “Waldo whispered back. He was furiously scratching his arm. Waldo came to a stop about fifteen feet from the throne, he gave the queen a bow. Alice performed a deep, graceful curtsey and Belle managed a basic one without falling over.

  “Greetings, your majesty. Thank you for this great honor, though it is not one I was seeking.”

  “We know, we were most surprised to learn of your arrival and to discover you did not request an audience or our hospitality. This is most unusual for a White Mage; can you tell us why this was so?”

  “I didn’t come here on behalf of the Order of Mist, but for my own reasons.”

  “For what reason did you come to our city?”

  Waldo hesitated. What he wanted to tell her was that it was none of her business, but she might take offense to that. Well, he thought, I guess I can go ahead and put my lying skills to the test. “Who doesn’t want to visit Torikai, the greatest city in the world, at least once in their lifetime? Plus, the opportunity to visit during your majesty’s birthday celebration, seemed too perfect to pass up.”

  The queen gave a slight nod. “That is most agreeable to hear. Could you also explain to us why you demanded to ransack the library of the guild?”

  Waldo peered at the mage standing next to the queen. “Ransack is an interesting word. I merely asked for access, I even offered payment.”

  “We were under the impression that White Mages from Avalon never required any sort of assistance.”

  Waldo sent a quick glance to Melissa. She remained stoic. He wondered if she had been asked not to speak up. “Well that is normally true, we White Mages are the best. However, I happen to have a Talent in Illusion, and all know the greatest illusionists in the Shattered Lands reside here. Since I was in Torikai anyway, I thought I might have a look to see if there was anything of value to me.”

  The queen gave a girlish laugh and turned to her advisor. “Do you hear that, Master Garibaldi? He praises your guild.”

  The mage, (Garibaldi?) bowed his head. “I am certain my guild will be most honored, your majesty.”

  “And what of Valeria, Master Rabbit?” The queen asked. “We are most interested to learn why you spoke to the drow.”

  “It was for the same reason. To see if they had anything interesting to teach me.”

  “Your majesty,” Garibaldi said. “That cannot possibly be true. Drow magic does not use written or verbal spells. Instead, they use enchanted gems through which they can focus and channel their mana. Only the drow can use these gems, they cannot teach humans anything about magic.”

  “They’re called, ‘foci,’” Waldo said. “Not, ‘enchanted gems,’ I’m surprised you don’t know that. You deal with the drow directly, don’t you? Shouldn’t you at least know the basics about them?”

  The queen turned to her advisor. “Is that true?”

  Garibaldi’s face reddened and he gave her a quick bow. “I do not know, majesty.”

  “Well, now you do,” Waldo said helpfully. “No need to thank me.”

  Garibaldi sent him a harsh glare. “And do you also claim to be able to use these foci the way the drow do?”

  Waldo shook his head. “No, humans can’t use them, you at least had that much right.” There were a few chortles from the audience. Garibaldi’s lips flattened, and his cheeks grew a bit more flushed.

  “Then, what did you expect to learn from them,
Master Rabbit?” The queen asked.

  “Oh, I didn’t go to them to ask about magic. I wanted to discuss torture techniques. In the same way the illusionists here are supposed to be experts in their field, the drow are just as knowledgeable about inflicting pain. Naturally, we White Mages know all about it as well, but you should always be willing to learn from those with greater experience. For instance, they have interesting ideas for the use of vices and heavy weights.”

  There was an uncomfortable stir through the crowd. The queen’s mouth hung open for a moment before she could form a reply. “We… we were under the impression Avalon wanted to rid the world of all the races besides man.”

  “We do, but just because you want to exterminate someone doesn’t mean you can’t be civil.” From the corner of his eye, Waldo noted that Melissa was making a face that suggested she was in physical pain.

  “Does this mean from now on we can expect greater courtesy where the drow are concerned?” She sounded hopeful.

  Waldo opened his mouth, but it was Melissa who answered. “No,” she said in a loud and ringing voice.

  He glanced at her and thought her face would be enough to sour milk. “I am much more open-minded than most of my compatriots in the Order of Mist. You can’t expect them to be as sensible. We are all zealots plotting to take over the world after all.”

  There was a stir in the audience. The queen gaped at him. Garibaldi’s eyes widened. Melissa scowled and looked ready to do murder.

  “That… is an… interesting statement,” the queen finally said.

  “Well, we White Mages believe in honesty.”

  The queen shifted about on her throne. “We were also told you entered your servant in the tournament to be held in our honor. This surprises us, as we have always been told by the ambassadors from Avalon that the games are murder, and should be ended.”

  “They are absolutely murder,” Waldo agreed. “But I’m sure they are a very entertaining sort of murder. Belle loves killing and asked to be allowed to join in the fun. Since she is a hard worker I decided to indulge her. I try to be a good master to my servants.”

  “He does,” Belle confirmed. “He’s the best master ever.”

  “We do not doubt he is,” the queen said. “But Master Rabbit, you are aware that only the tournament champion will survive? That all the other participants will suffer an honorable and glorious death on the Arena floor?”

  “Of course,” Waldo said. “Who’d want it any other way?” Next to him, Alice stifled a groan.

  “Then will you swear that neither you nor Avalon, will take offense should your brave servant fall?”

  Waldo immediately placed both hands over his heart. “I swear it by all the gods great and small, and by the gods I follow.”

  The queen gave a slow nod. “Then we certainly cannot object, we wish your servant good fortune in the Arena.”

  “Thank you,” Waldo said.

  “We grant you our hospitality, a place has been set aside for you and your companions. We invite you to remain for as long as you wish.”

  “That really isn’t necessary,” Waldo said quickly.

  “We insist.” The queen suddenly stood and climbed down from her throne. Waldo noted an expression of surprise on Garibaldi’s face as he hurried to stay at her side. She shuffled over and peered intently into Alice’s face. Alice took a hasty step back and Waldo felt panic from her through the bond.

  “Uhm, is there something wrong, your majesty?” Waldo asked.

  “We are admiring your skill,” she told him. “It is a splendid illusion, truly exquisite.”

  “What? But Alice isn’t wearing an illusion.” As Waldo told her that, Garibaldi leaned in and whispered in the queen’s ear.

  “Really?” Madis gasped and stared at Belle.

  Belle grinned and waved. “Sorry, but it’s true. My good looks aren’t real. Don’t hate me for it.”

  The queen’s eyes snapped back to Alice and her hands began to rub together. “My dear, would you like to join us in our private quarters? So that we might come to know each other a bit better? We would be most pleased if you would agree.”

  Alice slid behind Waldo so that he was between her and the queen. “While I would be honored, your majesty, my husband doesn’t like me to be away from him for any amount of time. So, I’ll have to-”

  Waldo turned around and gave Alice a little push in the small of her back, forcing her to stumble towards Queen Madis. “My wife would be absolutely delighted to spend time with you, your majesty!”

  “Splendid!” The queen grabbed hold of Alice’s arm and began leading her away. “Tell me, my dear, have you ever enjoyed a nice massage while in a steam bath? It’s simply delightful!”

  Alice glanced back at her husband in a panic while being led away. Waldo gave her an encouraging smile. “Have fun, and be sure to tell the queen what a wonderful White Mage I am.”

  Waldo felt a stifling amount of anger and a sense of betrayal through the bond. He had the very distinct impression he would be receiving a kick from her later. With the queen leaving, the royal audience came to a sudden and impromptu end. Garibaldi departed with his queen. Melissa was glaring at him and starting to come over. “Let’s go find you a trainer,” Waldo said to Belle as he quickly exited the throne room before Melissa could reach him.

  XXX

  Fornette was busy overseeing the Arena gaming house when there was a large commotion at the entrance. He was surprised and more than a bit worried to see five drow and a burly human servant enter his place of business.

  “Who is in charge here?” The Exalted Lady Valeria called out. "I would like some assistance."

  Chapter 15

  A Very Large Bet

  The drow were not often seen in the Gold City. Valeria would receive invitations to the White Palace and sometimes attend special events with the queen. Otherwise, it was rare to lay eyes on a drow except for the guards at their embassy. The many merchants who traded with them always had to go to Valeria to negotiate, she didn’t step outside her fortress for anyone but the queen. The treaty Valeria had signed placed many restrictions on her and her people. It was understandable given their reputation, and how nervous the sight of them made folk.

  The sudden, unexpected arrival of five drow brought everything in the gaming house to an immediate halt. Both customers and workers anywhere near the door hurriedly backed away to give them as much space as possible. A couple of his female servers fainted. The guards on duty gripped their swords but did not draw them out and were trying to back away like everyone else.

  Cowards, Fornette thought as he hurried to deal with this. He gave their leader a swift bow. “I am Fornette, the manager here. May I be of service to you?”

  Valeria was in a purple and black dress, with slits in the front and back of her skirts that revealed most of her legs. She grinned at him and nodded. Her manner was friendly enough, but being so close to her Fornette couldn’t help but feel nervous.

  “I wish to place a wager on the queen’s tournament.”

  “Is that all?” Fornette asked in surprise. “You could have simply sent a servant.” And not caused such a huge disturbance.

  “The amount I intend to wager is substantial. I wanted to deal with the matter personally.”

  “I understand, please allow me to assist you.” He led her to the back tables where bets were accepted and recorded. He was more than eager to get this done as quickly as possible.

  Valeria followed him along with her guards and the single muscular human who was carrying a chest. As soon as the drow were clear of the door, the customers all began to exit. By the time they reached the back tables the gaming house was deserted except for guards and employees. Fornette wanted to curse, the day’s take would be disappointing. If rumors about the drow visiting got out, which they would, business would be bad for days or even weeks to come. Nothing I can do about that, he thought. I just need to get them out of here as quick and quiet as I can. The clerk who was
seated at the table paled and stared wide-eyed as they came up to him.

  “I have never actually made a wager before,” Valeria said. “Could you explain the process to me?”

  “Of course,” Fornette pointed at the blackboard up on the wall. “That is a list of all the contestants in the queen’s tournament, and their odds of winning. You simply give us the amount you wish to wager, we will accept your money, record it in our ledgers, and issue you a ticket. If your fighter wins the tournament, you must return here and present your ticket. You will then receive your winnings in full.”