A Time to Heal

by Barbara Cameron

  "It's for business, not personal chatter."

  "Ah, I see." Chris shoved his hands into his pockets and absorbed the quiet dusk settling down like an indigo cloak.

  "You have any experience with gas engines?"

  "I used to work on my car all the time."

  "Maybe you can help me with the engine we were using on the conveyor belt yesterday."

  "Be willing to try."

  They walked to the barn and as Matthew started to pull the door open, Chris felt he had to say something.

  "I'll make up that time I missed yesterday."

  Matthew glanced at him. "I'm not docking you for that.When you were working you were doing twice the job I expected. I was beginning to worry that you were pushing yourself too hard." He hesitated for a moment.

  "You got something to say, say it," Chris told him bluntly.

  "I would. I will," Matthew amended. His eyes were direct on Chris. "Are you sure you didn't overdo and that's why you had the flashback?"

  He shrugged. "I doubt it. It's more likely that . . ." he broke off.

  "That you thought Hannah was in danger?"

  "How'd you come to that conclusion?"

  "I put two and two together." He smiled slightly. "And I talked to Hannah later. I know she can look out for herself, but I'll always be her big brother."

  Buggies were pulling into the drive, filled with the men who would help that day. Chris wondered if anyone would say anything, but after an hour went by, he decided they'd been too far away yesterday to notice.

  Working with horses instead of horsepower had felt strange at first but as the days passed, Chris became accustomed to a slower pace—more arduous, certainly, but with a lot of satisfaction as well. Chris liked partnering with another man to accomplish a task, but today he didn't mind working alone, tinkering with the engine. He thought it was interesting how the engine was prohibited in a tractor used for harvesting or in a car, but it could be used to help power a piece of machinery like a conveyor belt.

  Matthew came into the barn to see how he was doing and to tell him dinner was ready. He appeared relieved to hear that the engine still had a lot of life in it. As they left the barn, Chris saw Hannah hanging laundry on the clothesline.

  "Oh, you're doing the laundry," Matthew said as they stopped where she stood pinning up one of Annie's dresses.

  "Some people would thank me for my help," she told him with some asperity as she bent down to pluck a pair of Joshua's pants from the basket of wet clothes.

  "That means Jenny's doing the cooking."

  Hannah stared at him, poker faced. Then she covered her mouth with her hand, but she couldn't stop the giggles.

  "Oh, this is so wrong," she said. "We shouldn't poke fun at her. She tries so hard!"

  Out of the corner of his eye, Chris saw someone approaching.Jenny. Should he tell them any second she'd hear them joking about her cooking?

  Remembering how Hannah had behaved the last time he'd seen her, he decided to stay silent. He felt a little guilty that Matthew would take some heat. The guy had been good to him, especially after finding him in the loft with his sister. But it couldn't be helped.

  "So, what's so funny?" Jenny asked brightly and Hannah jumped and spun around.

  "Oh, nothing really."

  "But you both were laughing so hard."

  She looked from Hannah to Matthew and back again.

  "Did you come out to tell us dinner is ready?" Matthew asked her.

  Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. "You were talking about my cooking, weren't you?" She swatted him with the dish towel she carried in her hands.

  "Oh, now why would we do that?" he said quickly, a little too quickly, for she looked even more suspicious.

  Jenny turned to Chris. "That's what they were doing, right, Chris?"

  He hadn't expected this. "Er, uh, now why would they do that?"

  "Because my cooking's still not very good," she said honestly."Now tell the truth. That's what they were doing."

  "I—" He held out his hands and shrugged.

  "Did I tell you that I'm the farm's bookkeeper?" she asked, giving him a sweet smile. "I sign the paychecks."

  "You sign my paycheck?"

  She folded her arms across her chest. "Yes."

  "Sorry, I'm giving you up for that," Chris told Hannah and grinned when she glared at him. "Yes, Jenny, they were making fun of your cooking."

  "I think you should have an extra slice of pie for dessert," Jenny told him.

  "Pie?"

  "Shoofly pie."

  When he hesitated, she frowned. "Phoebe made it."

  "Oh, okay."

  She tossed the dish towel at him. "You're no better than those two," she complained.

  But she was smiling at him, so Chris didn't figure he could be in too much trouble with her.

  "Hmmm. Phoebe brought over the pie."

  "That she did, dear husband."

  "I still get a piece of it, don't I?"

  Chris saw Jenny's lips twitch.

  "I'll need some convincing," she told him, giving him a smile.

  Chris exchanged a look with Hannah.

  "See you inside," she said and she slanted her head in the direction of the house.

  Chris nodded, showing he understood the silent message.Chris and Hannah walked to the front of the house and climbed the porch steps. He opened the door for her.

  As he followed her inside, he turned and wondered where Matthew and Jenny were, then he saw them silhouetted behind a bed sheet. It was obvious they were kissing.

  "Newlyweds," Hannah said with a smile.

  The explosion caught them unaware as they sat at the table eating.

  Matthew jumped up and looked out the kitchen window."The barn's on fire! Jenny, go to the shed and call 911."

  Chris shot out of his seat and followed Matthew out the door. Flames were licking up one side of the wooden barn.Before they got to the barn door, Eli came staggering out, waving his arms wildly, his shirt on fire.

  Acting on instinct, Chris ran and tackled him, throwing him to the ground and using his hands to put out the flames.Groaning in pain, the man stared up at Chris, his eyes wide and terrified, his face blackened by the explosion.

  "What happened?" he croaked.

  "Lie still, help's on the way."

  The shirt had burned off Eli and his skin was peeling, blistering, a burning bright red mass on his chest and arms.

  "Are you okay?"

  "Ya," he said. "I think so." He struggled to sit up. "I need to help."

  Chris pushed him down, hoping he didn't hurt him further."You stay here."

  Hannah raced over and dropped to her knees beside him."No, don't get up. Jenny's called for help."

  "Got to—got to help them put out the fire," Eli gasped.

  "Make him stay here," Chris told her. "The pain hasn't set in yet so he thinks he's okay but he's not."

  He sprang to his feet and ran to help the other men throwing buckets of water from the water trough onto the fire. It seemed like hours, but only minutes later, Chris heard sirens heading toward the farmhouse. The local volunteer fire department arrived and began unfurling their hoses and spraying water on the blaze.

  Paramedics grabbed their bags and ran to Eli. Relieved of his firefighting detail by those more experienced, Chris walked over to watch them check Eli's vitals, insert an IV, and do some preliminary treatment of the burns.

  Though Eli protested, they placed him on a gurney and took him to a waiting ambulance. The vehicle pulled away, siren blaring, and raced down the road.

  Chris stood with Matthew, Jenny, and Hannah and watched as the men extinguished the fire. A large gaping hole showed in the side of the barn, the edges of the wood blackened and smoking. The stench of smoke lingered on the air.

  "Thank goodness the horses were out in the field," Hannah told Matthew as she rubbed his back with her hand.

  Matthew had the look of a shell-shocked soldier in the field.

 
"I don't understand what happened," he said. "Did Eli say what happened?"

  Jenny put her hand on her husband's arm. "He was in shock."

  "I should go to the hospital and see how he is."

  A man separated himself from the group of firemen who were talking and walked over to them.

  "Are you the property owner?" he asked Matthew.

  "Yes."

  "I understand you heard some kind of loud noise before the barn caught on fire? Any idea what could have caused it?"

  "No, I don't understand it, we're careful, all of us, with what we do and what we store in the barn."

  The man nodded and looked at the barn. "They're always a problem. Wood structure, hay, equipment . . ."

  He flipped open a pocket on his shirt, dug out a small notebook and pen and jotted something down. Then he glanced up at them.

  "I'll be back tomorrow when things cool down to look around some more. Keep everyone out, okay? Don't want anyone messing with evidence, just in case."

  The firefighters loaded their hoses onto the truck, climbed aboard, and drove away.

  "Evidence?" Hannah said, frowning. "What does he mean by that?"

  "I'm sure it's nothing," Jenny reassured her. "No one around here would deliberately set fire to our barn. Come on, Matthew, let's borrow my grandmother's buggy and go to the hospital to see about Eli."

  They started to walk away and then Jenny stopped and clapped a hand to her mouth. "Oh, Hannah, the children will be home from school soon. Can you—"

  "Don't worry about a thing," Hannah said quickly. "I'll take care of everything."

  After they left, Chris walked over to the barn.

  "He said not to go near it—"

  Waving a hand at her, Chris moved a little closer and peered into the blackened barn. The family buggy had collapsed into a heap of burned rubble; the horse stalls still smoked. Farm tools were blistered by the heat of the fire. The table where Chris had worked on the engine lay broken in many pieces on the dirt floor.

  He wondered if the structure might be safe enough to repair it or if it would have to be torn down and rebuilt. Well, it would have to wait until they were finished harvesting. Getting the crops in had to be first. No matter what happened, the family depended on the money they would bring in.

  Sighing, he shook his head. Something nagged at him, something he couldn't put his finger on.

  "I'm making some kaffi," Hannah said. "Do you want some?"

  "Huh? Oh, yeah, that would be great. Thanks."

  He followed her back inside. The remains of their dinner lay on the table, sandwiches dropped on plates and cups on their side amidst a puddle of coffee.

  "Oh," Hannah said, then she looked at him. "I should have thought to ask you . . . we'd barely started eating. You must still be hungry. I'll fix you something."

  He shook his head. "I'm not hungry. Are you?"

  She pressed a hand against her stomach. "No, I couldn't eat.Not after seeing what happened to Eli—" she shuddered.

  Chris picked up a plate, scraped the contents into the trash can, and put it into the sink. He noticed that she didn't tell him that she'd do it and to sit down because he was a guest.Clearly, she'd been rattled by what had happened.

  He watched her out of the corner of his eye as she dumped the cold coffee in the sink, filled up the percolator with fresh water, and measured out ground coffee. She set the percolator on the stove, turned on the flame, and sighed as she looked around the kitchen.

  "You're sure you're not hungry? I can warm up the soup, make new sandwiches."

  He shook his head. "Just the coffee."

  The liquid heated and began to beat with a rhythmic music against the clear glass knob at the top of the pot. It was a familiar sound he remembered from sitting in his grandmother's kitchen. A soothing one. The newer electric coffee makers just didn't make the same sound or give the process a homey feel.

  The rich aroma of it brewing took him back to sitting at the table in his grandmother's kitchen just before he deployed.She'd made him coffee and served him a plate of his favorite cookies—oatmeal raisin—and pressed a box of them to his chest as he left the house. Later, he'd known something had happened to her, even before the chaplain notified him. There hadn't been the usual weekly care package of cookies at mail call.

  He shook his head, forcing the memory away, as Hannah set a cup of coffee before him.

  Instead of sitting down to drink a cup herself, she started filling the sink with hot water.

  "Sit down," he said. "I'll help you with them after you have a cup too."

  She continued to stand at the sink and he saw her look out the window.

  "Don't," he repeated. "We need to take a break first."

  She started to argue and then she nodded. "Let me finish putting them in water. They'll be easier to clean that way."

  But when she sat, he noticed that she just stirred and stirred the coffee without drinking it.

  And his own coffee cooled as Chris stared into his own cup as he tried to figure out what had happened to Eli and the barn.

  9

  Hannah walked down the road quite a distance from the farmhouse so she could talk to her nieces and nephew before they saw the barn.

  They looked surprised when they saw her standing by the side of the road. They were old enough now that they usually walked home from schul by themselves.

  "Something happened today," she told them. "Everyone's all right," she assured them quickly when she saw fear spring into their eyes. She didn't blame them—they had lost their mother and probably the first thing that came into their minds was that they were about to get bad news concerning their daedi or mamm.

  "There was a fire in the barn today."

  "The horses—" Joshua cried.

  Hannah grabbed his arm as he started to run. "The horses were in the fields. They're fine."

  "What caused the fire?" Mary wanted to know.

  "The firemen don't know. They're going to find out."

  Annie tugged on Hannah's apron. "Daedi and Mamm aren't hurt? You're sure?"

  "Positive. You'll see for yourself when they get home. Eli was hurt but he'll be okay."

  Annie stuck her thumb in her mouth, something Hannah had seen her do many times when she felt uncertain. She hadn't done it since Jenny came into her life. Hannah held out her hand and Annie took it as they walked to the barn.

  She told them what happened, leaving out the part about the explosion and graphic details of how Eli had looked with his skin so burned. Instead she focused on how quickly the firemen had arrived so they'd be reassured that there were people who would help in such an emergency.

  "We're not to go near it," she warned. "The man who's in charge of the firemen said that they want to come back tomorrow when it's not hot inside and see if they can figure out what caused the fire."

  "Will the house catch on fire too?" Annie asked.

  "No, no, liebschen," Hannah soothed. "Something in the barn caused it. Maybe some paint or something. We don't know but the fireman will find out."

  "Where will our horses sleep?" Mary asked.

  "Either at Phoebe's or the Lapps. They'll be fine."

  Joshua glanced around. "Did the buggy burn up?"

  Hannah nodded. "Ya, it wasn't safe to go in and get it. So your mamm and daedi are using Phoebe's to go see Eli. Your daedi will get a new buggy later."

  "Maybe one with a radio?"

  Laughing, Hannah shook her head. "I know that Leroy has one in his courting buggy, but he's in his rumschpringe."

  "But why is it okay when he's in his rumschpringe but not later?" Joshua persisted.

  "That's something you should ask your daedi. Just not today, allrecht? I'm sure he'll be too concerned about Eli and the barn."

  Joshua nodded.

  She ran her hand over his hair. "How about we go inside and have some kichli and milk before we start our chores?"

  "Yes!" they chorused and the three of them raced to the kitchen. Af
ter oatmeal-raisin cookies and big glasses of milk, the children went about their assigned chores. Mary went to take down the laundry, Joshua ran to get the stalls in Phoebe's barn ready for the horses, and Annie started setting the table for supper.

  Phoebe. Thank goodness she'd gone to help a friend today, thought Hannah. It would have been so upsetting for her to witness what had happened, to see Eli burned. Hannah didn't look forward to telling her later, but being there herself would have been too much for the older woman.

  Hannah went into the pantry and thought about what to cook for supper. A roast had been left to thaw in the refrigerator.This must be what Jenny had planned to have for supper, she thought.

  Pulling it out, she glanced at the clock and figured she had just enough time to cook it for supper. She'd put some carrots and potatoes in with it. Dessert would have to be something simple and quick to make.

  Someone knocked at the front door. Hannah went to answer it. Chris stood on the doorstep, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, his expression unsmiling.

  "Is there anything I can do? Chores that Matthew would do at this time of day that I can take care of for him? Animals to feed or whatever?"

  "Joshua is fixing up some stalls in Phoebe's barn. The horses are out in the pasture," she said after a moment. "I'd thought about sending Joshua out to get them—"

  "I'll take care of it."

  She bit her lip, thinking hard. "Take Joshua with you since they know him. Phoebe's got room but I don't know if she has enough food. If not, let me know and I'll send Joshua over to get some from the Lapps."

  He nodded and turned to leave.

  "Chris?"

  Turning again, he looked at her. "Yes?"

  "I appreciate you thinking to offer this and I'm sure Matthew will too."

  "I'm happy to help."

  "And you've been a help too," she said. "You came here for a vacation and you've had little of it."

  "I had a lot of time off before this," he said, shrugging.

  "I'd hardly call being in the hospital time off."

  "I'm not used to sitting around for any reason."

  "Hannah, do you want me to peel the potatoes?" Annie called.

  "No! Don't touch that knife!" she turned to respond. "Do you hear me?"