The Secret Life of Bryan

by Lori Foster

  But not until she knew he cared, and that he’d understand.

  “Until he followed Luna to North Carolina, Joe lived in Ohio. I…visited him there.” He shifted uncomfortably, crossing his arms over the table and visibly chewing his thoughts before deciding to share with her.

  Shay braced herself for some grand confession, perhaps that he wasn’t a preacher at all.

  But instead, he said, “I bought some land in Visitation.”

  “Really?” Surprise immediately led to worry. Did that mean he planned to relocate? What about his work? What about the women?

  She’d just bought property near his safe house. She’d envisioned them working together, united both in convictions and in love.

  “Yeah. Not far from where Winston lives now.” He shrugged. “It’s just an acre, but it’s secluded, edged by a farmer’s fields. And there’s a creek that runs across the back end and a lot of mature trees.”

  He sounded totally enamored of the land. Alarmed, Shay blurted, “You’re not moving, are you?”

  “Maybe. Someday.” He studied her a moment, then said, “Do you enjoy the country?”

  She’d enjoy living anywhere he lived. “Sure. Of course. Why not?”

  The way she rushed that answer brought a smile to his mouth. “No malls. Not much entertainment. Just lots of trees and plenty of bugs. But the air is fresh and the creek looks incredible in the sun or under the moonlight. You see deer and coyote and wild turkeys…”

  “It sounds like you want to be there now.”

  He hesitated again, frowned, then said, “I’d always planned to live in the country. Away from the smog and the traffic.” His gaze sharpened. “But my wife liked the city.”

  Shay almost fell off her chair. “Your wife?”

  “She’s gone now.” He watched her closely while admitting that.

  Oh God, she could not possibly be glad about that, but…“What happened to her?”

  “She was murdered.” He slashed a hand through the air. “A bullet meant for someone else hit her instead. She died almost instantly.”

  Her heart dropped to her knees. She shook her head. “I’m…I’m sorry.”

  Her whispered words seemed to jerk through him. He pushed to his feet. “You done eating?”

  With the giant lump in her throat, she’d choke if she tried to swallow another bite. “Yes.”

  He reached out a hand. “Let’s go back to bed.”

  It wasn’t an offer so much as a command. Resolve turned his dark eyes flinty and set his jaw in uncompromising lines. Shay didn’t hesitate. She accepted his hand and allowed him to lead her down the hall.

  With each step nearer to the bedroom, his urgency grew until she could actually feel it. He vibrated with a mixture of testosterone, savage possessiveness and iron determination. They were barely through the bedroom doorway when he turned and pinned her to the wall. He took her mouth and at the same time, caught her thigh and lifted it up to his hip so she could feel his erection, long and hard, against her.

  Just like that, Shay was ready. He could smile at her and set her on fire, but knowing that he needed her, that thoughts of his wife were now driving him toward a distraction, made her feel urgent, too. She wanted to be the woman he turned to. For everything.

  Gentling him, she kissed him back, softly, teasing. She stroked down his chest, insinuated her hand between their bodies, and cupped her hand over the fly of his boxers. Her fingers curled around his throbbing length.

  Hissing out a breath, Bryan tilted his head back and let her do as she pleased. Against the back of her fingers, his abdomen was rock hard and warm. His cotton boxers were soft, molding to his sex. She used both hands to stroke and tease.

  The tanned skin of his upper chest drew her, and she kissed him there, tasting his flesh, brushing her lips over hard bone and flexing muscles. When she started to slip her hand inside the snug boxers, he stopped her. Their eyes met. His nostrils flared with his deep breaths, and then he had her upper arms, turning her and toppling her into the bed.

  “I meant to go slower this time,” he rasped while stripping off her shirt and cupping her breasts, stroking her nipples. “Christ, I feel like I’m coming off a year of celibacy.”

  Shay panted, trying to pull him over her. “I am,” she said. “Two years, in fact.”

  He froze. Jerking up, he looked at her, his brows down, his eyes filled with stunned disbelief.

  She didn’t care. Touching his lower lip, she whispered, “I was married once, too. It…hasn’t been easy since then.” His expression didn’t change. “It doesn’t matter if you believe me. You’re special, Bryan Kelly. To me. Probably to a lot of people.”

  More seconds ticked by, then he smoothed her hair from her face, kissed her forehead, and turned to the nightstand for a condom. “Slow,” he said, rolling on a condom with ease. “I’ll go slow if it kills me.”

  Shay grinned. “I kind of liked it hard and fast.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut. “Yeah, me too.”

  “Then why mess with perfection?”

  He struggled with himself, but in the end, he lost. He turned to her with a growl, and then his hands were everywhere, holding her breasts, lightly tormenting her nipples. He stroked down to her belly, slid his fingers through her curls, parted her, pressed in.

  His mouth swallowed her groan, and then he was between her legs, pressing her knees apart, and she felt the thick length of his erection sink into her. It was wonderful. It was exciting.

  It was fast, as before, but infinitely more tender.

  Shay lay curled against him, her head on his shoulder, idly playing with his chest hair. She was boneless, drowsy. Very sweet.

  “I care about you, Bryan. A lot.”

  Bryan squeezed his eyes shut. The woman constantly knocked him off guard with the unexpected. “What happened to your husband?”

  “He died a few years ago.”

  “How?” He no sooner asked it, than he realized how abrupt he sounded. “An accident?”

  She shook her head. “Phillip was a really nice man. Gentle. Kind. Everyone loved him.”

  “Including you?”

  “I loved him most of all.” She snuggled closer. “He was older than me.”

  “By much?”

  She hesitated. “By a lot, actually.”

  Bryan didn’t ask. He didn’t want to know. So, Shay had turned to an older man, probably an authority figure, given her tragic childhood. She’d searched for love and acceptance…It didn’t work. His stomach churned with disturbing images of Shay desperate for affection. He tightened his arms around her. He wouldn’t let her ever feel that way again. Somehow he’d make sure she knew her own worth.

  “He had a weak heart and his health suffered for years before he passed away.” Shay twisted her head up to see his face. “Was your wife a wonderful person?”

  Normally, he hated talking about Megan. But with Shay, everything was different. He shook his head. “No. No, she wasn’t. She was…selfish. And confused.”

  Again and again, he trailed his fingers through her long, pale hair. It was silken and warm, like Shay. Bryan couldn’t stop touching her, couldn’t stop the tide of emotions that seemed to be growing more powerful by the moment. “In a lot of ways, she was too naive for her own good. That’s what attracted me in the first place.” He considered his words, and then shared things he seldom shared with anyone, even his father or brother. “Dad raised us alone. Did I tell you my dad is a preacher, too?”

  “No. You’ve never mentioned your family much at all.”

  She had him there. By necessity, he’d pried into her life while keeping his own very private.

  But there were some things he could share. “My mother hated the simple life we had. My dad started out in the service, and Mom thought they’d travel a lot, see the world. But then he got the calling and left the military to become a preacher.”

  He rubbed Shay’s shoulder, lost in his thoughts. “He’s good at what he doe
s, but Mom hated it. Our house was modest, our budget tight. She wanted more, so she split.”

  “Do you see her still?”

  He shook his head. “Somewhere along the way she remarried, but not long after that she died of cancer. She hadn’t ever kept in touch, and she didn’t have any other kids. I never really knew her, so I don’t miss her, but I decided early on that I’d never fall for a woman who couldn’t be content with me and what I do.”

  “And you thought your wife would be?”

  He shrugged. “She was shy and unsure of herself and she needed someone to look after her. I thought that someone would be me.”

  Shay pressed a warm kiss to his chest, right over his heart. “Do you still love her?”

  “No.” He thought about Megan, and said, “I feel guilt. I think I’ll always feel guilt.”

  “Because you think you could have saved her?”

  “Yeah. I could have.” But he hadn’t. He’d been too pissed to realize the danger she was in. He had to walk a fine line with this tale, but for some reason, he wanted Shay to understand. “She resented the time I spent working, and felt neglected. Because of that, she got involved with another man. A real low-life scum criminal. People were hunting him.” Including me. But he couldn’t tell her that. He couldn’t tell her that Bruno had used Megan to hurt him, because it would give too much away. “She got caught in the cross fire.”

  Shay pushed up on his chest to see his face. “So how could you have saved her?”

  As amazing as it seemed, he didn’t want to ruin Shay’s impression of him. He didn’t want her to realize that out of all the bastards in the world, he might be the biggest.

  But Shay being Shay, she wouldn’t give it up. Eventually she’d learn the truth about him, so it was better that she hear bits and pieces early on, to help prepare her.

  “You can tell me, you know.” She cupped his face in gentle hands, leaned down and kissed him with a tenderness he’d never known. “You can tell me.”

  With his hands loosely holding her narrow waist, he looked up into her innocent blue eyes and admitted the awful truth. “I knew where they were. I’m the one who sent the authorities after them. I could have warned her first, but I…I wanted her to see the drama of a man being captured, dragged in by the police. I wanted her to see…” He stopped and looked away.

  “You wanted her to see what she’d chosen over you?”

  Even in his turmoil, Bryan registered the silky texture of her skin, the heat of her body, her arousing scent. Now, though, instead of exciting him, it comforted him. She comforted him. He gave one sharp nod. “That’s about it. I never once considered that she might be hurt. I didn’t consider anything but feeding my ego, my anger.”

  “Your hurt.” Shay lay back down, this time atop him, giving him a full-body hug. “You’re a big, macho tough guy, Bryan, but no one is immune to hurt.”

  He wanted to deny it, but he knew he couldn’t. He’d told Shay enough lies already.

  “So,” she said, her voice lighter, “did the cops get the guy?”

  “No. Once Megan got shot, all their efforts went into helping her, and Bruno got away.” He tangled a hand in her hair and tipped her face up so she could see his satisfaction. “I wanted to get him. For Megan and for me. But it was Joe Winston who caught him.”

  “I’m glad it wasn’t you.”

  “Why?”

  “You’re a preacher, not a bounty hunter. You could have been hurt.”

  “Jesus.” He covered his eyes with a hand. Did she have to spell out his lies? Throw them in his face?

  “Or,” Shay continued, kissing each of his fingers until he removed his hand, “you probably would have hurt Bruno, because you were too emotionally involved. That wouldn’t have been good, either. I’m glad Joe Winston is the one who took care of it.”

  Bryan stared at her, and felt some of the crippling guilt wash away. “Yeah, me too.” And for once, he meant it. “Now the creep is rotting in jail.”

  “Where Freddie Baker should be.”

  He kissed her mouth. “Don’t you worry about Freddie. I’ll take care of him.”

  She started to say something to that, when Bryan’s cell phone rang. The fact that it wasn’t the landline told him it wasn’t one of the women from the safe house. Bryan rolled out from under Shay. “Damn, where the hell are my jeans?”

  Shay found them on her side of the bed and handed them to him. Gut instinct told Bryan that something was wrong, that he wouldn’t be getting a call now otherwise. After finally wrestling the phone from his pocket, he answered on the fourth ring. “Kelly here.”

  “You’re going to love this, Bryan.”

  “Joe?” Astonished, Bryan glanced at Shay. She sat beside him, totally nude, her legs bent beneath her, her expression reflecting the same curiosity he felt. “Hell of a coincidence.”

  “I don’t believe in coincidence.”

  “Yeah, I know, but I was just talking about you.”

  “Riveting conversation, I’m sure,” Joe drawled, “but Jamie is here and he’s blathering on about you and women you can’t trust. He’s got himself all excited.”

  “Jamie? Excited? From what I remember, he’s pretty mellow.”

  “Not this time.” There was a pause, a sound of disgust, and Joe said, “Jamie tells me we’re interrupting something. Are we?”

  His laugh came unexpectedly. The range of Jamie’s supposed skills amazed him. “As a matter of fact…”

  “Great. He just had to be right, didn’t he?” And then, “Oh, shut up, Jamie.”

  Knowing Joe’s sour mood was more put on than not, Bryan said, “Give me just a second. I’ll be right back.” He covered the phone and turned to Shay. “None other than Joe Winston himself is on the line.”

  Shay stared at him with fascinated glee. “Really?”

  “He has some things he needs to tell me. And I imagine the ladies are anxious to see you back, so why don’t you get dressed while I talk?”

  “You want privacy?”

  Hell, no. He wanted to pull her back down in the bed and love her all over again. “No, but I should be getting you back, so get dressed while I finish this conversation, all right?”

  “I wish I could stay.”

  Damn. He wished that, too. Bryan caught the back of her neck and pulled her forward for a soft smooch. He forgot about covering the phone. “Me too, babe. Now get some clothes on before I forget my good intentions.”

  He heard Joe’s laugh, then: “You, good intentions? She doesn’t believe that bodacious lie, does she?”

  Bryan settled back against the headboard and watched Shay saunter out into the bathroom. “’Course she does.”

  “Then she probably doesn’t know you that well.”

  Taking into account the fact that she thought he was a preacher, Bryan could safely say she didn’t know him at all. “Probably not.”

  “That’s what I thought. Well, all things considered, I suppose I should just spit this out.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Jamie thinks a woman is out to hurt you.”

  He reacted to that idiocy more than he should have. His hand tightened on the phone, his vision narrowed. Hell, he didn’t believe in Jamie’s ability. Forget that he saw it firsthand, that everyone in the town of Visitation, with the exception of a few men, believed it.

  But still the fine hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and a chill ran down his spine. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Joe sighed. “I figured you’d be pissed. Here. I’ll let Jamie explain.”

  “No!” Bryan jerked upright, away from the headboard. “I don’t want to talk to that damn nutcase—”

  “Something isn’t right,” Jamie said in his soft, deep voice.

  Bryan fell back. Hard. “Here we go.” From the little he’d seen of Jamie Creed during his trips to Visitation, once he started on his predictions, the best you could do was hear him out.

  “I don’t have everything clear
yet,” Jamie murmured with an air of mystery that few could master, “but you’re trusting a woman you shouldn’t, a woman who will betray you.”

  As if summoned by Jamie’s words, Shay came back in. She’d splashed her face, leaving it slightly damp, and had her head tilted, untangling her long, fair hair with her fingers. She looked like an angel—a sexy, strong, wonderful angel.

  Feeling his gaze, Shay smiled at Bryan, then bent and pulled on her panties.

  Oh God, he had it bad. No way could Jamie mean Shay. Sure, Shay had secrets, but that was because of her poor background, her dysfunctional childhood…“Who?” Bryan demanded. Not that he believed anything Jamie said, but he wanted him to confirm that it wasn’t Shay.

  “That’s just it. I don’t know. I wish I did. I was going to wait to contact you, but it felt…more powerful suddenly. As if things had escalated.”

  Yeah, escalated into a screaming climax. Twice. An invisible fist squeezed Bryan’s heart, and still he said, “I don’t believe in mumbo jumbo.”

  Insults never fazed Jamie. “You don’t have to believe. Just be careful.”

  “I always am.”

  “No. Not careful enough. In fact, lately you’ve been all but blind.”

  Bryan hated insults. “Listen, you damn phantom—”

  Joe said, “Forget it, he’s gone. You know how Jamie is. He says his piece, then goes off to contrive more ways to torment us.”

  Bryan’s temper suddenly hit the ragged edge. “You don’t believe in him any more than I do, so why the hell did you call me?”

  “Luna made me.” Joe sounded amused by that admission. “She does believe in Jamie. And she’s fond of you. I can’t have her worrying now, can I?”

  Shay had her bra on and was busy slipping her arms into the sleeves of her shirt.

  Bryan ate her up with his eyes. He would not start distrusting Shay based on bizarre warnings given by a man who seldom interacted with others. “I’m hanging up now.”

  “Yeah, right. But Bryan?”

  “What?”

  “Just in case Jamie’s right…”