Forever with You (Fixed)

by Paige, Laurelin

  “But…”

  “But she’s not into you anymore. I can see it in her eyes.” It was a fair way to avoid spilling Norma’s secret. Besides, I could see it in her eyes.

  “Good. Then you believe the things I’ve told you.” He appeared pleased.

  “It was never the things you’ve told me that were the issue. It’s the things you haven’t told me.”

  “They aren’t your things to know,” he snapped back.

  The sliver of composure I was maintaining disappeared. “What the ever living fuck?” I was infuriated. Enraged. Out of my mind with exasperation. “I could say the same thing about you—spying on me, digging into my history before you’d even met me—maybe I think those aren’t your things to know. Still, you did and do whatever the hell you want with no regard to boundaries or personal space.”

  I squared my shoulders and faced him head on. “And while that’s out there, let me be clear—since you aren’t able to explain things to me, I’m digging on my own.”

  Concern flashed through his eyes.

  It fueled me. I wanted him off kilter. Wanted him where he always had me—flustered and imbalanced. “That’s right. I’ve been through all of the books Celia sent. I’ve been to see Stacy. And Norma. I’m collecting my own facts. Don’t you think it would be better to tell me your secrets than have me find them out on my own?”

  “Alayna, stop digging.” He took a step toward me, his voice even but strained.

  Why, why, why couldn’t he just tell me what I’d find? “You’re protecting Celia again, aren’t you?”

  “Celia’s not who I’m protecting.”

  “Who then? Yourself?” I was yelling, not even caring if his doors were solid enough to absorb the sound. “Me?”

  He reached for me, grabbing me at the elbow. “You need to leave, now.”

  With those five words the anger disappeared and the hurt returned full force. The air left my lungs. My chest constricted. My eyes filled. He wanted me to leave, wanted me gone. And the last thing I wanted was to leave.

  We were at such odds. All there was between us lately was struggle. There was never any progress.

  I wiped a renegade tear from my cheek. “Shutting me out again. Like you always do. Hiding behind your thick walls. What’s the point of me even fighting for you if you’re never, never going to let me in? Who are you protecting, Hudson? Who?”

  His grip on me tightened. “Yes, you, dammit! I’m protecting you. Always you.”

  Before I could blink his mouth was on mine, crushing into my lips, bruising me with his abrasive kiss. He tasted of the same neediness that I felt deep in my own belly—of lonely desperation. Of lust and affection that had been bottled for far too long.

  My tears halted and my hands flew to his lapels, pulling him to me. I lifted my leg around his, my skirt bunching around my upper thighs. Pressing against him, I tilted my hips, rubbing my core against his erection. He groaned in frustration and I echoed the sound, eager to be even closer, not able to get close enough.

  In a blur, he spun me toward the couch. I grasped the back as he removed my panties. He growled when his fingers dipped into my hole and found me wet—soaking wet. Next, I heard the sound of his belt, then his zipper. His palms settled on my ass. Then he drove into me, deep and hard, again and again. He grunted with each thrust, his balls slapping against my ass, his fingers curled around my hips like a vise-grip.

  He was fucking me, bent over his couch, and it felt so good and I needed him like that so much. But I couldn’t see his face—not in that position—couldn’t look into his eyes. I knew that he was doing that on purpose, trying to avoid that extra level of intimacy, hoping to make the act just about sex and nothing else.

  But it was never just sex with us. It was always something more—a complete and total union of him and me, where we became whole and healed and brilliant. I couldn’t let him succeed in making it less.

  Twisting my torso, I reached my hand back to his chest and clutched onto his shirt. His lids had been squeezed shut, but at my grasp, they popped open. I locked my gaze on his. With the contact of my eyes, his drive steadied—still fast, but no longer frenzied. It was the connection I needed. My pussy clenched and I began my ascent. The friction increased as I tightened around him, but he continued at his even pace through the tension until he was spilling his seed with a long stroke and spilling my name on a low groan.

  As his orgasm tore through him it spurred mine to higher heights until my head was spinning and my vision blinded. I fell forward on the couch, panting and euphoric. Hudson collapsed on top of me, holding me tight for several beautiful moments while our breathing became regular.

  The minute he pulled off and out of me, I straightened and turned into his arms. He welcomed me, tilting my mouth to his. He locked my upper lip in a hard kiss, holding me in place with his hand behind my head. It was different from any kiss we’d shared—our mouths not moving, our bodies held together in a desperate union, as we breathed in and out in tandem.

  When we finally broke apart, I wrapped my hands tightly around his neck and kissed along his jaw. “Oh god, I miss you. I miss you so much.”

  “Précieux…mon amour…ma chérie…” He ran his hands down my face, caressing my skin with sweet sweeps of his thumb.

  He was tender and perfect, and though I was afraid to break the moment, I was more afraid to miss out on the power of our junction. Barely above a whisper, I voiced the question I desperately needed to ask. “When are you coming home?”

  He leaned his forehead against mine with a sigh and settled his hands at my neck. “I have to go to L.A. for the weekend.” He tilted his wrist to glance at his watch. “I’m set to leave in about twenty minutes, in fact.”

  If it was possible to be both elated and disappointed at once, that’s what I was. He wasn’t pushing me away as he had been the last few days, but if he was coming back, it wouldn’t be tonight.

  I proceeded with caution, pressing him to let me in without scaring him off. “Part of your big business thing? With Norma?”

  It wouldn’t bother me if she were going. Well, not as much as it would have before I’d spoken to her. I just needed to know the answer.

  Hudson stroked my nose with the tip of his. “Yes, with Norma. And after this, if all goes well, we’ll be done.”

  I closed my eyes and inhaled him. So close…we were so close to working everything out…I felt it in my heart, felt it in my bones. Would we lose it all because he was leaving now?

  Invite me to go with you. I willed him to say the words, Come with me.

  He didn’t.

  With what felt like great reluctance, he pushed me away. He tucked himself in, zipped up his pants, and stood to face me, his fist on his hip as if trying to decide what to do about a problem that had arose unexpectedly.

  It was surprising that I could still be hurt when I was already in so much pain. Wasn’t there a limit? Where the ache would become so unbearable and my spirit would simply cease to go on? If there was a threshold, I hadn’t met it yet. Because that look on his face—it pushed me further into the depth of the hell that I was in. It crushed me.

  I didn’t want to be his problem. I wanted to be his life. After all, he was mine.

  Then, all of a sudden, everything changed. He dropped his hand to his side and his expression melted and transformed, and for the first time in days, the look in his eyes said I was the center of his world again. The crux of his universe. The core of his existence.

  He reached for me, and instantly I was back in his arms. He clutched me tightly to him, with determined devotion. “God, Alayna, I can’t do this anymore.” It was almost a sob. “I can’t bear to be apart from you. I miss you so terribly.”

  “You do?” I leaned back to look into his eyes, to see if they told the same story.

  He settled his hand at my jaw, his thumb tracing the line of my lower lip. “Of course, I do, precious.” His tone was uneven but sincere. “You’re my everything. I l
ove you. I love you so much.”

  My heart thudded in my ears and the world closed in around me as if there were only Hudson and me and nothing else.

  He’d said it. He’d said it twice. Said it, and meant it. I felt the sincerity in every cell of my body.

  And with just those three little words, the darkness scattered and the sky cleared. The heaviness that had cocooned me for days fell away, and I was left new and beautiful in its place. It was he who’d finally taken the step, had metamorphosed enough to deliver what I needed to hear, but it was me who was now the butterfly—me who could finally soar.

  And still, as I was already flying, I needed to be sure. “W-w-what?”

  His lips fell into an easy smile. “You heard me.”

  “I want to hear it again.” I held my breath, afraid that if I stirred at all that the spell would be broken and I’d be alone in our bed at the penthouse, that all of this would be a dream.

  But it wasn’t a dream. And I wasn’t alone. And I was in the arms of the man who was saying once again, “I love you.”

  “You love me?”

  He brushed his lips over mine. “I love you, precious. I’ve always loved you. From the moment I first saw you. I knew before you did, I think.” He tilted my chin to meet his eyes. “But there are things—things in my past—that have kept me from being able to tell you. And now…I have to do this…this thing. Finish this deal. Then, when I get back, we’ll talk.”

  “We’ll talk?” I felt like a parrot, repeating his last words, but I was delirious, my mind hazy with happiness. It was all I could manage.

  “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. And if you still want me, I’ll come home.” He swept a strand of my hair behind my ear, seeming to need to keep touching me as badly as I needed to be touched.

  God, he’s such an idiot! “Yes, I want you home. Of course I do. We belong there together. There’s nothing you could say that would make me stop loving you. Nothing. I stick, remember?”

  He sighed into me. “Oh, precious. I hope that’s true.”

  “It is.” It was the truest thing I knew, like the way the sun knew to rise in the morning, the way a rosebud knew to blossom in the spring. He was in my veins, in the innermost recesses of my heart and soul. I’d love him until I died—through death, even. Through fire, through hell. I’d love him through eternity.

  And now I believed he might love me that way too.

  I dug my fingers into his jacket and shook him softly. “Say it again.”

  “You’re such a spoiled girl.” He circled my nose with his. “And I love…spoiling you.”

  I leaned back and smacked his chest.

  “And I love you.” He pulled me back toward his mouth. “I love you, I love you. I love you.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Hudson and I kissed and cuddled right until the moment he was supposed to leave, neither of us wanting to end our reunion. Hand in hand, we walked out of the building together. He invited me to ride with him in the limo to the airport. I considered it, but Norma was accompanying him, and the look in Hudson’s eyes said he’d have his way with me, no matter who was present.

  We did get a chance for a goodbye kiss. “I’ll miss you,” he mumbled against my lips.

  If he wasn’t going to say it, I would. “You could ask me to come to L.A.”

  “Someone keeps reminding me about a club that she has to run…” He ran a hand down my bare arm, sending chills down my spine. “And I’m going to be swamped. Though I’d love you there, you’d be ignored.”

  Briefly I wondered if he had an ulterior reason for not wanting me to go with him, but I didn’t let the thought stay. He was right. I had responsibilities at home. His recognition of that was a big step on his part.

  But I pouted all the same.

  Hudson kissed my forehead. “Don’t pout. Stay here, go to David’s going away party on Sunday, I’ll be back by Monday.”

  “Back to the penthouse?” I wanted his reassurance once more. I could bear a few more days if he’d come home for good.

  “Back to our house, yes.” He brushed one more kiss against my lips then got in the limo and rode away.

  ***

  Though Hudson and I were still apart in the literal sense, the fact that we were a couple again made all the difference in our distance. Finally, we were happy and in love. Happy and in love like we’d never been before. I fluttered around work all shift like I had wings. Gwen introduced herself to me, claiming we’d never met. David, on the other hand, spent the evening being glum. He blamed it on his impending move, but I knew it was me. He’d been hoping Hudson and I were over. Thank god we weren’t.

  Even across the miles, Hudson showed me things were different. He had flowers sent to work—a bouquet of wildflowers that looked exactly like the patches we’d seen in the Poconos. He also texted me, something he rarely initiated. I’d received several before I had the chance to look at my phone.

  Just landed in L.A.

  Did you get my flowers?

  I had some sent to my room too, so I could think of you.

  Are you avoiding me now?

  I laughed at his repeat of what I’d said when he hadn’t responded to my texts. Then I sent: Not avoiding you, working. Thnx for the flowers. Keep texting. I’ll read every one.

  His next message came immediately, as though he’d been sitting with his phone in his hand, waiting for it to buzz. If that’s a challenge, I accept.

  He continued texting me throughout the evening. I responded when I could between the busy Friday nightclub scene. Our messages varied from romantic to sexual to sweet to funny. We acted like a couple in that slaphappy, I-can’t-get-enough-of-you phase that happened at the beginning of relationships. With our untraditional start, we’d never really experienced that. Then we’d had too many walls. But now they were all down—or nearly all down.

  On Saturday, more flowers arrived at the penthouse. Then late that afternoon, he did more than text. He called.

  I answered on the second ring. “I can’t believe you’re calling me.” Hudson called as rarely as he texted. He was a no-nonsense type of guy. To him, chit-chat was a waste of time.

  Now though, he was acting like I was anything but a waste of time.

  “I wanted to hear your voice. Digital letters weren’t cutting it any longer.”

  Talk about wanting to hear a voice…

  His low tenor stirred butterflies to dance in my stomach. “I love hearing you too.” I stretched on the bedroom floor, my legs raised to rest against the bed. “Did you sleep well last night?”

  “I did not. I’ve slept horribly every night that I haven’t fallen asleep inside you.”

  I couldn’t hide my grin from showing in my voice. “So you’re horny.”

  “No, Alayna. If I were simply horny, I could take care of myself.”

  That’s something I wouldn’t mind watching.

  “It has nothing to do with sex—” He paused. “Well, it only has some to do with sex. It’s connecting with you that I miss.”

  Damn, now I was horny. “I get it. I feel the same. When you come back, we’ll connect for hours, how does that sound?” Knowing Hudson, it would be literally hours. We had lots of reconnecting to do.

  “It sounds wonderful, precious.” His tone grew serious. “But we still have to talk.”

  “We’ll talk. We can connect first and then talk. And then connect some more.” I shook my head as I listened to myself. Usually it was Hudson who was all about the sex.

  “You’re insatiable.” He didn’t sound like he minded. “You forget that you may not want to connect after we talk.”

  I waggled my eyebrows even though he couldn’t see me. “Another reason to connect before. But I’m not worried about it. Just your willingness to talk is enough.” That wasn’t quite true. “Okay, not exactly enough, but it pleases me. A lot.” And even though I knew whatever he had to say would likely rock me, I was sure that we’d get through it.

  Hud
son still didn’t believe that. “Hmm,” he said, and I knew he doubted the strength of my love.

  Part of me wished he’d just spill his secrets now, over the phone. I was eager to hear what they were, but more than that, I was eager to put him at ease—to prove that I’d stick around.

  But I had to start getting ready for work soon. There wasn’t time. And I had the feeling we’d need connecting after his revelation, in whatever form that took.

  We sat silently for several seconds, and I worried he was fretting. “What are you thinking about, H?”

  “You. Bent over the couch in my office.”

  I laughed. “No, you aren’t.”

  “Actually, I am. The sounds you made…the way you looked at me…your eyes when I made you come…God, Alayna, do you have any idea how beautiful and sexy you are?”

  My face warmed and my toes curled into the comforter. How could he make me blush over the phone? “If I am, it’s because you make me that way.”

  “That’s a lie. I never want to hear you say that I’m responsible for your beauty again. I can’t take an ounce of credit for your perfection.”

  “But you can take every ounce of credit for my happiness, and that’s much more important to me than beauty.”

  He was silent again, and I feared I’d scared him. “What is it, Hudson?”

  “I was just wondering what I did to deserve the responsibility of your happiness. I hope that I can live up to the honor.”

  Perhaps it had been an ill-timed remark since he’d so recently made me miserable. That was the fact of the matter though—Hudson had the power to lift me to heights I’d never imagined, and that meant he also had the ability to absolutely obliterate me.

  Maybe it was a lot of pressure, but it was part of the romantic relationship package. “You deserve the honor just for loving me,” I said softly.

  “And love you, I do.” He barely let a beat pass before switching gears. “What are you wearing?”

  “Black lacy panties and a camisole.” I pulled the phone from my face to check the time. Shit, I needed to wrap things up soon. “I was just about to jump in the shower when you called.” I rolled to my knees and stood.