Forever with You (Fixed)

by Paige, Laurelin

  “Don’t ever think that.” His tone was harsh, final. “If you think you can’t work with me as your owner, I’ll give you the club.” He would too, knowing him.

  And that was definitely not a gift I could accept. “I just want to keep my job, thank you.”

  He softened. “It’s yours as long as you want it.” He pushed my hand that still held the envelope back toward me. “And the certificate—keep it. You can use it anytime you want. There’s no expiration.” His fingers lingered on mine.

  Was this what we’d been reduced to? Stealing touches at any opportunity possible? Making up reasons to talk?

  I pulled my hand—and the envelope—away from his. “Fine. Whatever.”

  A chill ran through me, though the night was warm. Frantically, I searched for something else to say. “There’s another thing.” I took a deep breath. There really was something I’d been avoiding. “I need to get my stuff from the penthouse.”

  His mouth tightened. “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

  I ignored him. It was the easiest way to deal with statements like that. Especially when I so liked the way they sounded on his lips. “I want to come get the rest of my things Monday.”

  “I can have it packed and moved for you, if you’d like.”

  “I’d rather pack it myself.” If he packed, I’d end up with all sorts of things that didn’t belong to me—things he wanted me to have. As sweet as it might be, I didn’t want his gifts. I also didn’t have any room for them in the apartment with Liesl. Even if we got a two-bedroom place together as we’d been talking about doing, we couldn’t afford anything that big.

  “At least let me arrange a truck.” His tone was insistent, but his eyes were pleading. It was hard to resist.

  So I didn’t. “Okay. You can do that.” Only because it was going to be a pain to do it myself. And he did owe me.

  “It’s done.” His lip curled up at the edge. “This doesn’t mean I’m done trying to win you back.”

  “I didn’t think for a second that it did.” Though I bit back a smile, my pleasure at his declaration showed in my voice.

  Hudson tilted his head to study me. “You say that as if you almost enjoy my groveling.”

  I rolled my eyes and turned toward the club with a wave. But I couldn’t resist calling back over my shoulder, “I couldn’t say, H. I haven’t really seen you grovel yet.”

  ***

  Friday and Saturday saw more gifts delivered—a coffee table book of pictures from the Poconos and concert tickets to Phillip Phillips.

  “He’s, like, recalling your entire relationship with this stuff, isn’t he?” Liesl said on Sunday as I opened the box that had arrived that morning. “I hate to say it, but he’s kinda good.”

  I wadded up the brown packaging paper from the box and tossed it at her. “Shut up.”

  “What’s this one?”

  “I don’t know yet.” I pulled out the John Legend CD I found inside and read the song list on back. I knew of the artist but had never listened to any of his music. The case wasn’t sealed so I opened it easily and found Hudson’s note.

  This is the song that makes me think of you. Track 6. - H

  R&B. Huh. Hudson rarely listened to music around me. When he did, he deferred to me to choose. I didn’t even know what style he liked. Was this it?

  I looked back at the song list and found track six. “All of Me,” I read out loud. “I don’t know it. Do you?”

  “Never heard of it. Let’s stick it in.” She grinned and added her own, “That’s what she said.”

  Shaking my head at her, I pulled out my new laptop, put in the disc and pushed play on the track Hudson had indicated. I leaned my head back against the futon and listened.

  The song started with a haunting piano line. Then a tenor voice crooned about a beautiful woman with a smart mouth who had the singer distracted and spinning. He was a mess, but it was all good, because no matter how crazy she made him, she was still everything to him.

  It was the chorus that had me in tears, when he sang about “all of me” loving “all of you” and offered to give all of himself to her in exchange for the same.

  Sure, it was just a song, but if it really held the message that Hudson meant for me to hear, well, I couldn’t help but hear it loud and clear. If he could really give all of himself to me—no more walls, no more secrets—then what was left holding us back? The past?

  But my own history was imperfect. I’d even shown him my flaws on more than one occasion. He’d forgiven me and stuck around. Fixed me and found me and made me whole.

  And now…

  Not saying a word when I set the song to repeat, Liesl sat next to me and pulled me to her shoulder.

  “Liesl, I don’t care anymore,” I sobbed into her shirt. “Even if I shouldn’t be with him, I can’t live without him. He makes me feel better about me. I don’t care anymore about what he did in the past. I only care that he’s around in my future.”

  She rocked me back and forth. “No one’s telling you what you should or shouldn’t do here. Either way, you got my support.”

  “Good, because I think I’m going to give him another chance.” I wasn’t quite sure what that chance would be yet—dinner? A date? Lots of dates?

  That was a decision for tomorrow.

  ***

  Though I didn’t have a lot to pack up from the penthouse, I wanted to get started on it early enough in the day that we’d be long gone before Hudson arrived home from work. Getting Liesl anywhere before noon, however, proved difficult.

  “Maybe I could join you later,” she said, burying her head in her pillow at my first attempt to drag her out of bed.

  “But I need you the whole time,” I whined. “Please?”

  The pleading worked, but she tried again to get out of going as we were getting in the cab. Then at The Bowery, she suggested that she make a coffee run and join me later.

  “There’s a beautiful Keurig inside. Best coffee ever. I’ll make you as many mugs as you want.” Maybe Liesl wasn’t really big on packing.

  “Fine.”

  It was much easier to go inside the building with Liesl along. As we went up in the elevator, I wrapped my arm around hers, grateful for the support. Though I hadn’t been living there for two weeks, moving out was big. It reeked of finality. And with my recent decision to let Hudson back in my life in some way, I wasn’t quite looking for finality. I needed Liesl to talk me out of anything stupid.

  Like deciding to leave my stuff there and not move out.

  When the door opened to the apartment, I waited for Liesl to step out first. She didn’t move so I went ahead of her. I turned around and put my hand on the side to keep the elevator open. “Aren’t you coming?”

  “Uh…” her eyes grew wide. Then she pushed my arm out of the door and pressed a button on the call panel. “Don’t hate me!” she called as the doors shut.

  What the fuck? I heaved a frustrated air of breath out of my lungs and closed my eyes. Either Liesl had somewhere else she wanted to be or she had something up her sleeve. And if it was the latter, there was no doubt Hudson was involved.

  Might as well find out what was up.

  I opened my eyes and peered around the corner of the foyer toward the living area. It was empty. Not just empty as in no Hudson, but empty as in no furniture. None. I wandered into the room to be sure I wasn’t going crazy.

  Well, if I were going crazy, the delusion I was having was of an apartment with no furniture. I glanced at the dining room. Also empty. Strangely, the place didn’t feel any more cold and lonely than it had when I’d been there the last time. But the emptiness put me off. I couldn’t understand what it meant. Was my stuff gone as well?

  I backtracked and pushed the door open to the library. This room was only mostly empty. The sofa and desk and all the rest of the furniture were gone, but the shelves still contained all my books and movies. The books I’d pulled that Celia had marked were gone from the floor, but severa
l boxes were stacked against the wall.

  I walked toward the stack, intending to peek in and see if the books were there, but it was sealed.

  “Those are new books.”

  Ah, there he is.

  I turned slightly to find Hudson leaning in the doorframe. Again he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Dammit, he hadn’t even planned on going to work if he was dressed like that. And he looked extra yummy. Somehow he had arranged that as well, I was sure of it.

  He nodded again at the box I was still touching. “They’re for you. To replace the ones that had been damaged.”

  “Oh,” I said. Then I frowned.

  “What is it?”

  “I have nowhere to put all these.” I hadn’t intended to take them. They were beautiful and I loved them, but in New York City, that many books were a luxury.

  He sighed softly and I could tell the rejection of his gift hurt, no matter what the reason. But all he said was, “I’ll keep them for as long as you want me to.”

  “Thank you.” I caught myself scanning his body. It was impossible not to. He was so good-looking, and I missed him so much. Though I’d planned my move on a day that he wouldn’t be around, I was happy to see him. Elated, actually.

  I wondered if he could see that in my smile. “I didn’t expect you to be here.” I’m so glad you are.

  “You didn’t say I couldn’t be.”

  “It was implied,” I teased.

  He caught my eyes with his. “You don’t seem that horribly pissed to see me.”

  God, the butterflies were stirring in my belly. Not the tug of fixation that used to make me act crazy, but the twitters I felt only with Hudson. It had confused me when I first felt it those months ago, but now I recognized it for what it was—a combination of nerves and excitement and attraction and anticipation. It was such a gloriously delicious feeling.

  Surprisingly, it eclipsed the still fresh wounds from his betrayal.

  Still, I was scared. And I didn’t know what he was up to. His stuff was gone from the apartment. I didn’t like what that had to mean. What did it mean? “Where is everything?”

  His lips drew tight. “Your stuff is still all here.”

  “But where’s your stuff?”

  With another deep breath, he threw his eyes to the window then brought them back to me. “I can’t live here without you, Alayna.”

  “So you’re moving out?” I didn’t know how I felt about that.

  Strike that, I did know. I didn’t like it. At all. The penthouse was where our real relationship had taken place. I hated the idea of someone else being in our space.

  And Hudson moving out because I wasn’t there—that meant he didn’t really believe I’d ever be back.

  I was too late. He was giving up on me.

  But his next words tossed everything up in the air again. “Actually, I hope I’m moving in.”

  The twists and turns of this interaction had me flustered and on edge. I had to call an emotional timeout before I broke down. “H, you confuse me enough without you trying to be confusing. Could you say something I can understand?”

  “I confuse you?” His eyes sparkled with satisfaction.

  “Is this a surprise?”

  He shrugged.

  “So you’re moving in?” I prompted. Dammit, why did he have to be so difficult?

  Seeming to sense I was on my last nerve, he answered. “One day. I hope.” He rubbed his lips together—ah, I missed those sweet lips. “But for now, I want you to live here.”

  “What?” One day a proposal, another live in my million dollar penthouse without me. The man certainly knew how to keep me on my toes.

  He also had no idea what I really wanted or needed from him.

  Hudson’s expression grew serious again. “I can’t live here without you, precious.” His words were soft and low, but I could hear him clearly. “But I don’t want to sell it, because I love being here with you. Someday, you and I will be here again. While I’m waiting for you—scratch that—while I’m groveling for your forgiveness, it’s a shame to let it sit empty. You and Liesl should move in.”

  “I can’t accept that, H.” My eyes felt watery. But at least he’d said he wasn’t giving up on me.

  “I had a feeling you’d say that.” He sighed, giving up much more easily than was characteristic. “Then it will have to sit.”

  I bit back the urge to say we could live here together and offered instead, “You could rent it out.”

  His brows rose. “I could rent it out to you.”

  I laughed.

  “Best rent in town—only cost you a weekly dinner with the landlord.”

  “Stop it.” I was still smiling.

  “Biweekly then. I’m not above bargaining.”

  “Hudson.” He had no idea that he already had me sold. Not on moving in, but on the dates.

  “Fine, monthly. I’ll take whatever scraps you’re willing to give me.” He studied me. “You’re considering giving me scraps now, aren’t you?”

  “Maybe.” How did he read me so easily? And why was it so easy to be with him when he’d hurt me so deeply?

  The question scared me, so I skirted the issue. “Seriously, though, where’s all your stuff? Did you get another place?” All his furniture wouldn’t fit in the loft.

  He shook his head. “I gave it all to a charity fundraiser.”

  “Lifestyles of the rich and famous.” Though I couldn’t say I’d miss any of it. It was beautiful furniture, but Celia had chosen it all. I was quite happy with the thought of the less fortunate benefitting from it.

  It seemed Hudson felt the same. “I wasn’t attached to any of it.” He straightened and walked into the room, gesturing to the empty space. “This entire apartment was perfectly designed to my tastes and style, but it never felt like a home.” He stopped a couple feet from me. “Not until you, Alayna. You made it come alive. The things that were here—they were chosen for me by someone I want completely removed from my life. Right now, the things here are the only things that made this house a place I’d want to live. Your things. You.”

  “I…” My throat was too tight to speak.

  “And when I move back in, we can refurnish this place from scratch. Together. You and I.”

  I took in a shuddering breath. “You’re so sure that one day I’ll take you back.” The outlook was getting better and better.

  “I’m hopeful.” He smiled mischievously. “Would you like to see how hopeful I am?”

  “Sure.” Really, all I wanted was for him to pull me into his arms. I was almost certain that was where we’d end up. But the game we were playing to get there was intriguing.

  Hudson dug in his pocket and pulled out something small and silver. “I bought this.”

  He held the object by the jewel so I couldn’t really see all of it at first, but when I realized what it was, my breath caught. Because it was a ring. The ring.

  He dropped it in my palm for me to examine. It wasn’t silver after all—it was platinum, if I guessed right. And the jewel was surrounded by two tapered baguette stones that led the eye to a round, brilliantly cut diamond in the center. It was at least two and half carats, maybe three. Maybe even four, for all I knew.

  Tears gathered in my eyes and bewilderment muddled my brain. He’d handed it to me—it wasn’t a proposal. What was this then? A way to mess with me?

  “There’s an inscription,” Hudson said softly, as though he could read my confusion.

  I blinked to clear my vision enough to read: I give you all of me.

  Then he bent down on one knee.

  It was a proposal.

  I couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, couldn’t even breathe.

  “I realized something about the last time I asked this,” he said from his place on the floor in front of me. “I did it wrong. First, I didn’t have a ring, and second, I should have gotten on one knee. But more importantly, I didn’t give you the right thing. I offered you everything I had, thinking that was
the way to win your heart. That wasn’t what you wanted at all. The only thing you ever asked for, the only thing I would never give you, was me.”

  A sob escaped my throat, but for the first time in days, it wasn’t a sorrowful sob.

  “But now I do.” Hudson threw his arms out to the side. “Here I am, precious. I give myself freely. All of me, Alayna. No more walls or secrets or games or lies. I give you all of me, honestly. For forever, if you’ll take it.”

  He took the ring from my grasp. With hands that were so steady compared to my shaky one, he slipped it on my finger.

  I stared at it, shining brilliantly on my hand like a beacon in the darkness I’d been living in. Was he really asking me to marry him? Not elope, but marriage? Was this really something I could actually consider?

  My plan to let him back into my life had been much simpler and less drastic—like a dinner and a movie type of thing. Not a proposal.

  But that had always been Hudson. He moved fast and furiously, but when he truly wanted something, he committed with everything he had. If I said no, if I turned him away, I knew without a doubt he’d ask again and again. And again.

  That wasn’t a reason to accept a marriage proposal.

  The reason to accept was because I loved Hudson Pierce with every fiber of my being. Even his flaws and imperfections attracted me to him. They made him who he was. And I wanted all of him. I wanted to give him all of me.

  And he had a lot of making up to do to me. Forever might just be the only way he’d get it covered.

  “Alayna, I love you.” He drew my gaze from the ring to his eyes—his wildly intense, passionate eyes that shown brighter than the diamond on my hand. “Will you marry me? Not today, and not in Vegas, but in a church if you like, or at Mabel Shores in the Hamptons—”

  Somehow I found my voice. “Or the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens during the cherry blossom season?”

  “Yes, there.” His eyes widened. “Is that a—”

  “Yes,” I nodded. “It’s a yes.”

  Hudson pulled me onto his knee and into his arms faster than I could blink. “Say it again.”

  “Yes,” I whispered, placing my hand on his cheek. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”