by Jayne Blue
“In one sweep, we got rid of our bird problem,” Axle said.
“Yes, except Moss. He ran when the ATF stopped the truck. So he’s out there. But we’ve cut out his support. He’s powerless.”
I turned to the Great Wolves.
“Thank you. I hope this works toward building a new partnership.”
“When Bear called, we couldn’t say no. He has a lot of respect in a lot of our chapters.”
“We’re going to collect, soon, if that works for you,” Hammer said.
“With a gym near the downtown? Yes, here’s the deed.”
We’d signed over a huge warehouse property that Bo had renovated. The Great Wolves were mostly legit and one of their businesses was MMA gyms. To make The Wolves’ help worthwhile, The Saints had voted to open Port Az, for the first time, to another MC.
The Wolves would open a gym, train fighters, and nothing more, unless agreed upon by the Saints. In return, they strung The Hawks along, made them think we were cornered, and helped us put a noose around their necks.
“If we hear rumblings from other Hawk Chapters, remember, the Great Wolves have your back. This town draws a lot of interest. It’s a pretty nice setup.”
“It is. I think this is a great beginning between our two MCs.”
I stood up and we all shook hands and bumped shoulders.
“Whatever you need for the trail. Gas? Food?” I said.
“We’re good. We’re going to say hey to Bear before we leave. We’ll let you all finish your meeting,” Gun said, and he and Hammer walked out, leaving the core ten of us.
“Shit, we did it,” Maddox said, and he pounded the table.
“We fucking did, goddamn Hawks. I had the DiSalvo’s locked and loaded and we didn’t even NEED my damned in-laws. Thank god,” Zig said.
My brothers congratulated each other. They congratulated me. I put on a brave face. It was true: thanks to Bear’s contacts and good reputation we’d been able to forge an alliance with the Great Wolves and set a bird trap.
It was good to know that the immediate incursion was over. We’d spent a lot of coin getting the drugs but not only were they out of The Hawks’ hands; they were off the streets thanks to the Great Wolves tipping off the ATF. We knew no one in the ATF would believe it if a Saint played canary. That was another reason the Wolves were the perfect partners.
And the world was getting smaller. We had to accept that. We’d need the Great Wolves to keep an eye out if we were going to fend off more attacks from The Hawks, or the Cartel, or whoever the fuck wanted to mess with Port Az.
I stood up from Church and walked out to the MC.
My brothers were cracking open beers and starting to throw back shots. They were calling their old ladies and arranging to get them back into town. It was good. It was…
“Ow!”
There was a crack to the back of my head.
“What the fuck did you say to JJ?”
“Mom, Jesus. I know you liked her. But she admitted she’s A.J. Moss’s fucking niece. She was telling them everything!”
“No shit. I TOLD her to tell them shit. How do you think they knew where you were headed with that truck? SOMEONE had to let them know. And she was the perfect person for that.”
“She’s a liar.”
“She’s the best thing, that ever happened to this family, well, other than me. And you better damn well go tell her that and thank her for putting herself in danger for this club.”
I tried to let it all sink in. JJ, my Mom, and the words I said to her.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“If you haven’t blown this, she’ll tell you all about it herself. But her Uncle put her in prison and he got her out. She had no choice and she still chose us, the MC.”
“What?”
“You know that shiner she had? It was because she didn’t tell The Hawks about the raid.”
It was almost too much to process. I thought she was the traitor, but it was me. I’d fucking bailed at the first sign of trouble without listening to her.
“If I were you, I’d head to the bus stop and be quick about it.”
“You shouldn’t have kept this from me, you should have told me. She should have told me.”
“I told her to stay out of the way tonight, to protect her while it all went down. I thought we’d all talk it out in the morning. Plus I figured you’d believe her over any lowlife Hawk who happened to recognize her.”
“I need to find her.”
“Yeah, you do.”
I was pretty sure there was no going back with JJ. But I had to try. I found my bike and gunned it.
The bus stop was my only lead.
15
JJ
* * *
I drove to the bus stop. I’d leave the car there. I didn’t want to be traced. I needed to get out of Port Az. I’d lost the trust of everyone I cared about.
I couldn’t run to my Uncle, I couldn’t run to Shep – even my own Mother wasn’t a safe house for me. She never had been.
I had to put distance between Texas and me, and just hope.
I parked the car outside the bus stop and left the keys under the mat. I still couldn’t believe I’d found people so willing to help me that they gave me a car to use.
And now they hated me.
I walked toward the station. I didn’t see it coming. I thought I’d had more time. But I knew the voice before I saw his face.
“You fucking thought you’d get out of town, did you?”
I tried to bolt. I tried to yank free. But Uncle A.J. had my arm in a vice grip.
I could see the bus station. Damn it. I pretty much couldn’t do anything right.
“Get in that car. I need to get out of fucking town. And you’re going to drive me.”
“Just let me go. Take the car.”
“You’re pretty shitty at following directions.”
My Uncle punched me. The blow landed on my cheekbone. I fell to the ground.
“Shake it the fuck off and move.”
He yanked me to my feet. My mind tried to process what my best course of action was. Should I fight? Or try to run?
My brain was short-circuited again as my Uncle smashed my face into the window.
“Fucking bitch! Can’t even do this right. Get in and drive, dammit.”
I couldn’t see. My face was bleeding. I fished for the keys. I’d gone from trying to run to trying to survive.
“Where?”
My Uncle pointed.
“Highway. I fucking need to get out of town, thanks to your goddamn dick boyfriend. He double-crossed me with the Wolves.”
“What do you need me for? Just let me out, take the car.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
I pulled out of the parking lot and did what I was told. I needed to stop bleeding and think.
“Highway, I said highway.”
I drove a little, but it was impossible.
“I have to stop. I can’t see.”
The car swerved. If I could make him think it was impossible for me to drive, maybe I could get out, get away. I slammed on the brakes. My Uncle grabbed me again.
“I’m not doing anything else for you,” I said coldly.
I wrenched the door open and fell out. I scrambled up and ran. He was older than me, fatter, slower. I had a better chance running than I did driving him. I was sick of him deciding what I did or when.
But he was hot on my heels. Whatever had gone wrong with his Hawks was all my fault, even though I was a minor part of all of it. His rage had to a find a place to land and it landed on me.
I felt my legs go out from under me.
My Uncle was on top of me and he hit me again.
“You’re going to fucking pay for this bullshit. If it weren’t for me, you’d be goddamn in prison still, or turning tricks, or homeless. You and your mother are so fucking lazy.”
I didn’t really know what he was saying. But I felt each point with a punch. I tried to crawl. I blo
cked my face with my arms. But my Uncle was in a rage and I was the focus.
I was going to blackout. There was no question. And if I did, he’d kill me or put me in the trunk or who knows what. I had never been an actual person to this man. I’d always known I was in danger with him, but with each blow I finally began to understand that I would die at his hands.
I flailed against him. And then I felt it: he was using something other than his hand to hit me.
I saw spots in front of my face. I fought him, I fought against the darkness, but it was pulling me under.
There was no one coming to help me. There was no way out.
I stopped running, stopped fighting, and I stopped struggling to stay conscious. My Uncle hit me again.
I saw a headlight. If I could just wave down a car… maybe…? I heard a loud engine. But the second I stopped covering my face to try to see who or what was out there, my Uncle was relentless. He punched me again, and everything went black.
It was a relief.
And it was brief.
It had to be, because something woke me. Maybe some instinct to survive or live? I was still on the gravel next to the road. I hadn’t gotten away. But the punches had stopped. And there was that revving of engines.
Someone lifted my head off the pavement. I thought it was Shep. I hoped it was Shep. But I hadn’t been hit so hard that I forgot my real life.
My real life was getting the shit kicked out of me by an Uncle who saw me as disposable.
My real life was a disaster. I had tried to run from my real life and it had found me, in the dirt, almost dead. Shep was a dream. I was hallucinating that he’d come to save me from A.J. Moss.
I struggled to pull myself back up. I could see more headlights. I heard more engines. I fought to figure out what had happened. What was happening now? My mouth felt foreign. It was filled with a coppery taste. Blood.
“What?”
That was the only word I could manage.
“Do you know where you are?” I heard Shep’s voice. It was Shep. Unless I was actually fucking dead. And if I was, well, Heaven had a lot of blood.
He asked me again. “Do you know where you are?”
“I’m on the ground, next to the highway.”
Part of me wished I could erase what had just happened. But I knew exactly where I was. And the pain of getting pummeled was setting in.
“‘Atta girl, yes.”
It really was Shep. I struggled to sit up.
“Whoa, slow. Do you know who you are?”
“I’m Joan Jett Hollins and I just got the shit kicked out of me by my dick of an Uncle.”
“Sounds like JJ to me.”
It was Deacon, he was on one side and Shep was on the other. Shep. There were other Saints, but I couldn’t see who. They were arriving, cutting their engines, and it looked like working fast. I didn’t see my Uncle.
“Where’s my Uncle?”
I put my hand to my face to wipe away the blood that was trickling down. I tried to stand. Things were becoming clear as the pain woke me up. Shep had an arm around my waist. I pushed him away. Every second of the last few hours flooded into my brain. I couldn’t lean on him. I couldn’t. What was he even doing here?
And then I saw it. My Uncle was on the ground. Motionless. Dead. There was blood on his face. I couldn’t tell if a bullet had caused it or a fist.
I turned to Shep. We locked eyes. The fog was lifting and it all fell into place.
Shep had stopped Moss as he tried to kill me with his bare hands.
He’d pulled him off me and Shep had done to A.J. what A.J. had tried to do to me.
I stared for a moment. Took it in. Deacon, Axle, Zig, Maddox, Kade, and Shep. They were all here. Shep stayed near me, but the rest, they were working.
“Dugger’s on the way. Get her out of here,” Axle said.
“We’ll take care of the car. And anything else,” Deacon said.
Shep looked to me.
“If you want to call the cops, do something different than what I’m doing. I won’t stop you. But I killed him because he hurt you and the club. And I’ll confess to it if that’s the route you want to go.”
Shep was letting me decide his fate.
“Won’t they find out anyway?”
“No, we know how to handle this. His MC won’t miss him. And well, you’re his family, so it’s up to you.”
I moved away from Shep and walked over to where my Uncle’s body lay.
And I spat on it. The spit was half blood. I was surprised that a tooth didn’t come out with it.
“I don’t need the cops,” I said as an answer to Shep’s question. Any secrets I knew about The Dark Saints I’d take to my grave. Including what had happened here.
I turned away from my Uncle’s body. I tried to walk like I had some sort of strength. I tried to stand straight up. I’m sure my face looked horrifying. It felt horrifying. Shep put out a hand to try to steady me. I didn’t take it. But I did need one more thing.
“If you take the car, well, I need a ride. I can’t walk too far right now. Can you take me to the Budget 8, exit 12, it’s near the bus stop? I can clean up before I head out.”
“No.”
“Okay, fine.”
The Dark Saints didn’t owe me a thing. And Shep had simply killed his rival MC Prez, not the man torturing his woman. I wasn’t that. I was a lying gash.
I’d fucking walk.
“No, I mean you’re going to the MC. Josie needs to look at you. This one cut, I’m sure it needs stitches.”
I knew if I went to an E.R. there would be questions. Taking me to Josie was another way to keep this piece of club business quiet. It wasn’t Shep trying to save me. I needed to keep that at the top of my mind. Or the hurt in my heart would bleed just as bad as my face right now.
“Okay.”
“Can you climb on?”
I nodded. Shep got on his bike and put out a hand to me again. I didn’t want to take it but I felt a shifting in my ribs.
“Fuck!” I couldn’t take a deep breath.
“He kicked you. They’re probably cracked.”
“Deacon! I need to take the car. Can you guys deal with my bike?”
“Yep.”
Shep got off his Harley and pointed to the car.
“You can lay down in the back.”
“I can’t. If I do, I won’t be able to get up.”
Shep opened the passenger door. That seemed the easiest, and I got in and sat down.
We drove in total silence back to the MC. I tried not to cry. And I wasn’t entirely sure if the tears were physical or emotional, but either way, I wasn’t giving up any of them in front of Shep. He didn’t deserve a guilt trip and I didn’t deserve his support.
Josie and Tracy were waiting at the MC.
They took over, thankfully, and as they shooed Shep away, the tears came. They were quiet tears, hot, and they were mixed with blood.
16
Shep
* * *
I wanted to take back the moment where I lost my shit and said those ugly words to JJ. But I did not want to take back the moment where I killed Moss.
Josie and Tracy took her from me and wrapped her up. I watched as they supported her and walked into the kitchen of the clubhouse.
My mother, and now Tracy, had bandaged a lot of cuts, reset bones, and even fished out bullets in that kitchen.
I winced when I thought about how close JJ had come. Moss was in a rage, no question, and JJ was a rag doll.
I thought she was dead at first. My rage conquered Moss’s rage. I hauled him off JJ.
I choked him at first. And then I shot him, point blank. In the temple.
He knew it was from The Dark Saints before he went. And The Hawks would also know it was from The Dark Saints.
But it wasn’t the club that shot him. It was me. He’d nearly killed JJ.
And I loved JJ, more than anything else in the world.
I knew that. I’d kno
wn it from the first shot she poured me.
Funny, Mama Bear knew it too. I was still angry with her. She should have told me about her plan with JJ. If I’d have known from the beginning, I would have done things differently.
I certainly wouldn’t have let JJ be the leak. I’d have cut JJ off from her evil Uncle and that would be that.
Which is funny. Because that was assuming JJ would listen to me. Or Josie would.
I realized that was probably unlikely.
I paced in the main bar of the MC and slowly my brothers trickled in.
“Any word on our girl?” Deacon said, and I realized that JJ had become a fixture here. She’d found a place in my heart, I knew that. But she’d also found that my brothers were her brothers. That was what Sarge, my Dad – hell, what all the OG Saints – meant to happen when they founded this club.
This MC was still standing. The brotherhood had not broken. But I feared if JJ didn’t forgive me, it would all feel hollow.
I wanted her in this MC, in this bar, in my life, however I could get her.
I answered Deacon.
“I’m waiting for Mama Bear to get me up to speed.”
“I’ll wait with you.”
“Me too.” Axle sat down next to me at the bar.
In short order, Zig, Chase, Domino, Kade, Maddox, Bo, and Benz filed in.
“Any word?” Bo asked, and Deacon shook his head no.
But they all sat with me and we let it sink in.
We were still a club. We’d fought off The Hawks, got a shit ton of Cartel drug product off the streets, and created a new alliance with The Great Wolves. It was a lot of success, without Bear at the helm. It made me feel good about the future of the club.
But my own future hinged on what was happening in the kitchen and what JJ felt. In the process of saving my MC, I may very well have fucked up every other thing in my life.
Finally, Mama Bear came out and we all looked to her for good news.
“You all waiting on word about your favorite bartender?” Mama Bear asked.
“It looked like Moss nearly killed her,” Axle said.
“She’s a lot tougher than that,” Josie replied, and I was hopeful for the first time since I’d seen JJ lying on the ground.