Why Me?
Page 20
Then for a moment he stopped. Cassie wasn't saying anything. She had stretched out, letting him unbutton and nudge off her clothing. She watched as he stripped. When he finished, they looked at each other a very long moment. And she smiled a welcoming smile.
He could feel the need pounding up from his balls and cock and spread with equal ferocity through his whole being. She could be so welcoming with her tight, soft, wet pussy and her hot, seductive mouth. He wanted to be in her. He had to be in her.
Wynn knew he should wait a little longer, but he knew her body would be as welcoming as her smile. The echoing words he needed to say kept hammering into him as he moved up.
He slid into her and almost gasped. That felt good, maybe the best he'd felt since he'd been shot, but it wasn't the same kind of good as before. He rocked against her while he thought about why.
Oh God. Of course it wasn't. He couldn't mentally link with Cassie.
Wynn knew he had gone too far to stop. But he didn't know what she wanted! How was he supposed to tell?
Even while he thought that, he slid his hands automatically to the special spot at her collarbone and kissed her. He knew she was sensitive there. That couldn't have changed. She shivered, just the way she always did.
The paralyzing fear moved further away. He knew Cassie. He'd mapped out her body and its pleasure spots by now. Mind link or not, he knew what she liked.
He slid his fingers down, toyed with one nipple, then the other. Sure enough, her breath caught again. She swallowed hard. So did he.
Cassie. Already slicked up with sweat and trembling. He could do this. He wanted to do this. He had to do this or he was going to die.
When he heard her first little whimper he thought he might burst then, in a mix of lust and triumph. But he didn't want to right away. He could get more out of her than a whimper.
He suckled one breast and she twitched gently. He did it again and she moved less gently.
He knew he could finish then and satisfy them both, but suddenly he was sure that wasn't what she wanted. And if Cassie didn't want that, he didn't either. They could make this better yet.
He moved as quickly and smoothly as he could and then Cassie was on top, laughing a little breathlessly at him. She hadn't laughed while they made love in what seemed like a long time. The laughter felt good, too. She positioned herself so he could just feel the entrance to that lovely pussy of hers but couldn't enter.
"How did you know it was my turn to make you crazy?" Cassie murmured.
Was letting her on top taking the easy way out? Cassie could still read his mind. She knew what would make them both happy. All he needed to do was lay back and enjoy the show—Cassie touched his cock with her hand and he nearly tried to throw them both off the bed. Cassie wasn't going to let him just relax and enjoy. That was all right too.
He had to—he had to—He took his hands to position her and then slid her hard down on top of him. She moaned just a second after he did.
He could still feel and smell and watch Cassie and that was damn exciting.
Just as he thought that, for one short moment, there was a flash of almost blinding light and he was sure he could link again. God knows the two of them must be generating enough electricity that Cassie could see that light with her mental link. He watched it burst in front of his eyes and then-then there was nothing.
Just that one flash had been enough, though. He heard her sobbing now, saw her shivering. Now. Wynn arched up and emptied into her.
Then he felt her stretched on top of him, her arm curled up against his body. The weight felt good. He felt good. Again. Cassie bloody knew how to do that to him.
Wynn thought about that brief flash and his jubilation subsided a little. Was that the last of his telepathy? He shut his eyes. Gone. Gone in one last burst of light.
But he could feel Cassie. She wasn't gone. He smiled, a lazy smile. He'd done that much anyhow. He'd satisfied her and he'd satisfied himself without his gift. That light had been a little bonus at the last moment.
If that was the last link he would ever feel, it wasn't a bad way to have it end. He hadn't needed his gift to make her happy. He could handle things. He could manage without his mental linking with Cassie.
He opened one eye. Cassie was still collapsed against him. He'd exhausted her, but he knew in his gut that she had some energy left.
He could do it again. He could do it forever.
"God, you're a fantastic lover." Cassie muttered the words against his chest. "And, God, I'm glad you're still around to be one."
Wynn swallowed. He wasn't going to ask if she was being truthful. He wasn't going to be one of those losers who asked women for reassurance.
Besides, he knew she had meant what she said. She must. Cassie never lied. And how could she lie about something that made her cry and shudder the way she had?
"I love seeing you watch me while we make love—" Cassie stopped.
She meant telepathically. Wynn was sure of it. He'd loved doing that to her, too, back when he was able to.
Gone. His gift was gone but she could still use hers.
Wynn got up, abruptly, from the bed. He moved toward the window to look out. Naked or not, he needed at least the illusion of space and freedom. The bedroom suddenly felt confining.
Wynn pushed aside his sudden resentment. If Cassie could use her gift to enhance lovemaking then he ought to be glad. He was glad. He was still the one who made her feel the way she did when they made love. She'd said he was fantastic. Cassie'd meant it. He was deep down sure of that.
He could still make love with her and it was more intense, more special than it had ever been with any other woman. He might have lost some of his abilities, but he hadn't lost that one.
He thought about the last time he'd looked out the window instead of at Cassie. He thought about what he'd asked her then.
Those words were hammering inside of him, demanding an answer. Without thinking any more about whether he should wait longer, Wynn said the words out loud.
"So. Are you?"
"Am I what?" Cassie asked, still sounded rather sleepy and satisfied.
"We're not going to die any more. At least not immediately. You've had time to think about it. Are you going to marry me?"
Jesus. He was standing, literally and figuratively, naked in front of a woman and asking for her opinion. Hell, he might as well go all the way. Why not face her to see what she was going to say?
He turned from the window to look at Cassie.
Cassie looked odd. How funny. After all these years of feeling like a freak because he had his abilities, of longing to feel ordinary, he wondered if Cassie would refuse him because he didn't have his gift any more. Maybe she was used to the old Wynn, too. Maybe she wouldn't like the new one.
Besides, what did this Wynn have to offer? He'd remade himself once, using determination and his gift. Now he was back to nothing again—he didn't have much more to offer Cassie than his naked self—and he only had one of those original assets left. But he had a hell of a lot of determination.
"You really want to?" Cassie asked.
Was she scared? God knows he was.
Wynn knew he couldn't hesitate. He didn't want to have her agree out of pity but all of a sudden he was positive that having her say yes was the only thing in the world that would help make him feel better about becoming...well, normal.
"Absolutely."
Cassie looked like she was bracing herself. "All right then. Let's."
"Soon?"
Wynn wasn't going to let her get away with a long, indefinite engagement. That would be a little too close to whatever she'd had with Ned.
"Sure. If we're going to, we might as well get it over with."
"Ah, yes, now that's the way I like my bride-to-be thinking." Wynn moved closer to her.
He couldn't tap into her mind, but when he kissed her he could tell she wasn't as reluctant as she had sounded. He could feel a spreading warmth inside him. He'd done th
e smart thing, the only thing. Maybe he didn't have much to give but it looked like he had Cassie anyway.
She began to kiss him back, tentatively first, and then more possessively.
Wynn was feeling better. This was going to be all right. In fact, this might have been the most all right thing he'd ever done in his life. Absolutely.
Cassie opened her eyes, smiled dreamily at him a moment, then murmured, "But you have to break the news to Tash and my dad. I don't want to hear Tash gloating."
Chapter Nineteen
Things were not all right. Cassie smiled and tried not to sweat too much in her designer silk dress. Tash had insisted on buying it for her engagement party. Tash had insisted on an engagement party. In fact, Tash had pretty much taken over their engagement.
To make matters worse, Cassie was wearing the pearls again.
"Darling, I'm so impressed with your young man," her stepmother cooed to her when they met at the dessert table. "I can't believe he advises Art Hornsby. And that the Senator was willing to show up at our party, especially with the elections so close!"
"Yeah, well, I don't know how much longer Wynn is going to keep advising Art," Cassie told her. "I have a feeling Wynn won't have that job for long."
"Well, if he doesn't have anything lined up, I'm sure your father could find a spot for him at one of his companies," Natasha refused to acknowledge concern. "He seems very impressed with Wynn as well."
"Wynn working for Dad?" Cassie wanted to laugh and then stopped to consider the idea.
Maybe Wynn would think it was a good idea. Dad certainly paid well and it was a very—steady—sort of thing, working for Dad. Very settled and married. Wynn might like that sort of thing. He was the one pushing for the settled and married routine after all.
She was just the one who said yes because—well, she didn't know why she had said yes except that Wynn seemed to think it was so important to him. She knew he was feeling a little lost and confused right now and she hadn't wanted to add to that by refusing to marry him.
But marriage was starting to feel more and more like a bad idea to her. Not Wynn. Not at all. He wasn't a bad idea. Just marriage.
Cassie opened her mouth to tell Tasha that and then shut it again. Tash actually looked happy with her tonight. Tash might be the world's most insufferable snob and Cassie knew that in any contest between Cassie and her father or brother, Tash would favor the man but—Tash did look happy. That emotion was rare enough for Tash that Cassie decided not to destroy the mood.
If Cassie tried hard enough, she could imagine Natasha was actually happy for Cassie. That was nice. Someone ought to be happy for Cassie at her engagement party.
* * * * *
Wynn could tell Art wasn't happy. He was learning to read body language more now that he had to rely on that to gauge emotions and thoughts. Judging body language was a much trickier business without mind reading to aid him, but then he was used to Art.
"I appreciate you coming tonight." Wynn meant it.
"I appreciate that you allowed me to be alive to come here tonight." Art sounded like he meant it, too.
"Ah. Well. I was doing what I said I would." Wynn resisted an urge to shuffle his feet in embarrassment.
"That's more than most people would do." Art nodded to someone. "I'll be glad when this is over."
"The polls say you'll win?"
"The polls? They say I might lose. I got a little upsurge in a sympathy vote when the news first came out but that's smoothed itself off now. Guess I should have been shot a little later."
"Oh. Well. Polls can be wrong."
"Wynn, for the first time in my life I can tell you I don't give a damn. Winning or losing won't change much."
Art sipped at the glass of white wine in his hand.
"What does that mean? Of course it will make a difference."
"Not for me. For my lifestyle, maybe. But either I get to go on doing what I've always done or I do a little more of it than before. I'll still be the same old bastard I've always been. And the people around me will be the same old sharks as well." Art stared into the cup. "I'd appreciate it if you were around, Harmon."
"Art. I'd be of no more use to you." Wynn was glad he could get that out. He still wasn't sure how to phrase it so he would be believed. "When I got shot—something happened. That's the truth. I can't do what I used to for you. I don't have the ability any more. Um...my sources of information have dried up."
Art let out a brief laugh. Wynn knew it wasn't a happy one.
"Damn. My one honest advisor gone. You haven't lied to me before so I'll have to believe you."
"Please do. I don't need any special visits from any of your people asking for favors or checking to see if I could help. I'm being straight with you. I can't."
"Yes. Yes."
"If you ever want me around—uh—as a friend, I'm here." Wynn wasn't sure how to say what he wanted. "An e-mail away."
"That might be...pleasant. Thanks, Harmon."
"My pleasure, Senator. I wish I could have continued to help you."
"Don't lie. You started hating this long before I did. Maybe you're lucky you can get out." Art hit him lightly on the unwounded shoulder and then turned to an eager-looking woman who had appeared at his elbow.
* * * * *
Wynn thought about that. Maybe he was glad about being out of the whole situation. He thought about going to go back to his old life, drifting until he found another chance...But he didn't have his gift to help him out. His old life wasn't going to be so easy to regain. Maybe he was going to end up like his Da after all, just a two-bit con man.
Even that life didn't seem as bad as he used to think it was. He'd come to accept that his idea of becoming something important would never have happened anyhow. Art couldn't afford to let someone like him become too prominent. In many ways he would've remained what he always had been—a mysterious consultant who could be summoned when needed and dismissed when he wasn't. He never would've been openly acknowledged. Art would never show Wynn how he was important to him.
At least now Wynn wasn't going to have to worry about losing his life or having people demand more of his time and energy than he could give. Yeah, compared to Art and his life, maybe he was a lucky man.
He looked over at Cassie. Maybe he wasn't so lucky after all. Something had changed, gone wrong, since he told her he was missing his gift and then asked her to marry him anyhow. She wasn't like herself anymore. He couldn't reach her.
She didn't even look like herself any more. He stared at the silk sheath and the pearls. She looked tasteful. Expensive. Hell, her stepmother had even gotten her to pose for some engagement photo for the newspaper. None of that was Cassie.
She complained about her family, long and bitterly, but right now she looked like she fit in just fine with the rest of them. Probably she expected he would fit in, too.
He'd done his best tonight. Cassie had laughed as he went over and over which tie to wear for an engagement party. He thought back to their earlier conversation
"What difference if it's black or red?"
"It's important to look right." Da had taught him that. Once you looked the part, you acted the part and everyone believed you.
Oh damn. This wasn't a part. This was his new life.
No, he wasn't going to be allowed to slink back into his old life. Cassie would expect more than that. She should expect more. Wynn wasn't sure he was going to live up to expectations.
Maybe marriage was supposed to change you completely. Wynn brooded. If so, Cassie wasn't going to like what he had told her father not half an hour ago.
Could he work for Bill Cassidy if Cassie expected him to? Wynn went and abruptly got some more white wine.
He didn't have to work immediately, of course. If Emmanuel's goons hadn't trashed his rental place he had some antiques he could sell. That would stave off making any decisions for a while. He might not have to tell Cassie or her father anything for a long while if he worked it right.r />
Still, what if that was what he'd have to do? Settle down. Settle in. Especially now that he was going to be a father.
Wynn almost sloshed the wine out of the plastic cup.
Where had that come from? He and Cassie hadn't talked about that. Except for that one time that Cassie had said maybe she could get pregnant. Maybe. But he could feel the conviction growing inside that he was going to be a father.
Oh, hell. Was that why Cassie was acting so strange? Cassie knew. She must know. She hadn't told him yet, but she knew. Oh, hell and blast. Was that the only reason why she had agreed to marry him?
* * * * *
"Hey, Dad." Cassie put her cheek against her father's.
Enough champagne and wine had gone down everyone's throat that she didn't feel awkward making that gesture. Maybe she hadn't been drinking herself, but she knew no one else would mind what she did by this time in the evening.
"Hello, daughter."
Her father actually put his arm around her. This was an unusual evening. "How're you enjoying yourself?"
"Well, not much. But this evening wasn't for my enjoyment, was it? It was to show me off. Me and Wynn." Cassie couldn't help saying that, no matter how mellow the alcohol was making him feel.
"I like him. Much better than the last one."
That approval would have been the kiss of death to any potential boyfriend once. Cassie would like to think she'd matured a bit since her teenage and college years.
But the words still made her uneasy. She'd seen Wynn and her father together. At first Wynn had eyed him over as distrustfully as always, but within the hour the two of them had been talking to each other and she'd seen Wynn visibly relax.
That's when Cassie realized the truth.
The man was actually going to fit in with her family. She'd never brought home anyone able to do that. Give him another few days and he'd be inviting Tasha over to pick out the brand of china they'd ask for at the bridal registry.