Chocolate Reality

by Steena Holmes

  “Thanks. Yes, I had a rough night, a rough morning, and I definitely need this right now. Nothing takes the blues away like chocolate in the morning.” I said just before I took a bite of the delicious treat.

  “Oh, get ready … here comes her reaction.” said Tracey.

  “Hmmm, ohhhhh, hmmmm” I moaned as I took a bite of this delicious treat. I am known to savor chocolate. To take a bite of any type of chocolate, whether it’s a cookie, square or even a chocolate bar, and not savor that first sweet taste as it melts on your mouth, is just wrong. There is a technique to this I have discovered. I’ve tried time and time again to explain this to the girls, but they just don’t appreciate a good thing when they bite into it.

  First you need to smell the chocolate. You can always get your taste buds going on hyper drive just by one smell. Can you smell the mint or caramel in what you are about to enjoy? Maybe it is hazelnut? You’ll never know though until you smell it first. Then close your eyes as you take that first bite. Gently sink your teeth into the soft chocolate, let it sit on your tongue for a few seconds, and savor the unique feeling of that chocolate beginning to melt on your tongue. Allow the sensation to sink in; you’ll begin to feel it all through your body. First it’s one of those ‘Ah’ moments, and then you get that feeling that all is right with the world. When you have a piece of chocolate in your mouth, nothing else exists.

  I always get teased by these ladies for how much I enjoy my chocolate. I’ve never hid the fact that chocolate is one of my passions in life. I think that is why Chocolate Blessings is so successful. It’s a full-blown passion for me. How many people can honestly say that they have taken their top passion in life and made it a success?

  “Make fun of me all you want Tracey, but you know that you love chocolate just as much as I do.” I said after I enjoyed my first bite.

  “True, but no one has made eating chocolate an art.” she came back at me with.

  “Ladies, ladies … enjoy your chocolate and call it even.” Pastor Joy said to us with a smile on her face.

  “I think we might need to give Wynne an extra treat this morning. She’s going to need it, I think.” Judy mentioned as she patted my arm again.

  “I’ll take the chocolate, but why do you think I need it?” I asked curiously.

  “Well dear,” Judy began, “we heard about this party that you are throwing and we are all a bit concerned. Now don’t get me wrong. We stand behind you, we will help you plan it, but we were there for you when he left. We’re a bit concerned about how you are handling all this right now.”

  I look at the ladies with, what I’m sure is coming across as, an exasperated look.

  “Tracey put you up to this, didn’t she?” I asked. I smiled at them, perhaps trying to reassure them that I really am okay.

  “No hun.” Pastor Judy said softly. “Jude’s mother, Nancy, called me up yesterday to tell me. She assumed you would want to use the church basement to hold this party, and she wanted to make sure that it would be available.” She explained.

  I slumped in my chair at this news.

  “Nancy called you? Great. I can imagine what she had to say about this.” I said as I sighed.

  “Yes, she had a bit more to say, but that is neither here nor there. Wynne, what I’m concerned about is the fact that you offered to throw this party. You know you don’t have to do this. I’m sure one of us, or any other lady is our church for that fact, would have offered to throw this party had we found out. Actually, I think Nancy would have loved to have thrown a huge shower for her son and his fiancé.” Pastor Joy told me.

  “In all honesty, it was spur of the moment decision. Jude stopped over unannounced and told me the news. I was a bit shocked and over reacted. Tracey came over for our girls’ night and because I had been embarrassed to how I reacted to his news, I just blurted out that I would throw the party.” I admitted to the group.

  “But, the more I think about it, the better it sounds to me. If I throw this party, then everyone will realize that I’m not pining over my ex fiancé and that I’m okay with him getting married. Everyone knows how much I love to throw parties, so no one should think twice about this, right?” I asked, sincerely hoping for their agreement.

  There was a moment of silence around the table. I started to doubt that I would receive their agreement.

  “Wynne, honey. Are you serious?” asked Joan.

  “I thought I was.” I answered a bit hesitantly. The way the ladies were staring at me began to cause a little bit of worry to seep into my mind.

  “Wynne, we were there, remember, when you broke down sobbing because he up and left you at the church alone. We’ve been there when you have been angry with God because you thought He wasn’t hearing your heart’s cry. We heard you when you told us of your secret hope that if Jude was ever to come back to town you might get back together with him.” A sad smile crossed Judy’s face. “You can’t fool us honey, no matter how hard you try.”

  “I know. But obviously its God’s will for me to be alone right now. Otherwise Jude would have come back sooner and without a fiancé in tow. I have to accept that. I have to accept that there is a strong probability I will be single for the rest of my days. I might not like the idea, doesn’t mean I have to hide from it though, right?” I asked her.

  Why is it everyone seems committed to making me face my deep issues with this whole Jude/engagement party blow up?

  “Just because Jude obviously isn’t the one for you, that doesn’t mean God wants you to be single for the rest of your life. Look at me, I didn’t get married until I was thirty-five.” Pastor Joy admitted. “God has just been preparing you, getting you ready so that when that perfect man does come along, there will be nothing holding you back.”

  I now she was trying to encourage me but for a pep talk - it sucked.

  “Don’t you think that by throwing this party, it shows that I have moved on with my life? I really don’t think this was such a bad idea. It’s just one friend throwing another friend an engagement party. What’s so wrong with that?” I asked them with a hint of desperation to my voice.

  Tracey hands me another chocolate turtle and pushes my coffee cup closer to my hands.

  “There’s nothing wrong with a mere friend throwing another friend a party. But when it’s an ex fiancé throwing the party then it looks like she is trying really hard to prove not only to herself, but also to the rest of the world that she has really moved on with her life.” Tracey responded. I give her points for trying to butter me up first with chocolate though.

  I took a deep sigh. I never could hide anything from these ladies, and I’m not about to start trying now. I might as well admit the truth, open myself up completely, and trust that they will still love me enough in the end to help me plan this party.

  “Okay. I admit that I have some issues, and I admit that offering to throw this party probably wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had. I’ll admit that I probably still have some feelings left for Jude. But, and this is a big but, I don’t love him anymore nor am I jealous that he is getting married and I’m not.” I exclaimed to the group.

  They all stared at me with their eyebrows raised. I guess they don’t believe me.

  “Okay, okay. So I might be a little bit jealous that he’s getting married. But only a little bit. What girl wouldn’t be? But I made the choice not to marry him three years ago. If I’m still holding some unrealized feelings towards him, I have to let them go. I don’t understand why he’s getting married and I’m not. I don’t understand why God is withholding that desire from me. It’s like He keeps dangling that dream in front of me, and yanking it whenever I start to hope too much on it. That’s not fair.” I cried out.

  I definitely need more chocolate now. Seeing that the basket is now empty, I rise from my seat and hurry over to the counter to fill a plate full of muffins and cookies. I need something to take my mind off my emotions; otherwise I will start crying soon.

  There is a nice lull
at the table when I return with the plate of muffins. As everyone is helping themselves to the treats, I venture some quick peeks at all their faces. Some are watching me with speculation in their eyes; others are fixated solely on their muffin or cookie.

  I take a deep breath. Perhaps I can steer the conversation away from my unsettled issues and onto the major issue at hand. The party.

  “Admitting that there are still some issues that I obviously have to deal with is one thing. But actually having to plan this party is another. I need some help.” I asked them.

  Joan immediately rushes to my rescue. Bless her heart.

  “Well, of course you need help sweetie. That’s why we are here. I’ve already made a list of the major tasks that need to be done. You just tell me what you have planned and we’ll go from there.”

  So with the conversation successfully changing directions, we proceeded to spend the remaining hour left of our study making party plans. Once again, these ladies have saved the day.

  *****

  “Hey girl. Your sign says you’re closed, so come with me.” I hear a familiar voice call out to me as the doorbells jingle their merry tune.

  “Heather. What brings you by? You should be at home snuggled up to your hubby in front of your roaring fire.” I smile at her while continuing to close up the store.

  “Matt is at a meeting tonight at the church. The men’s group is having a ‘chef contest’ tonight. I made Matt take my apron and hat with him so that he looks like a real chef.” She explained to me while she started to giggle.

  “Which apron did you give him Heather?” I asked. “Your professional white one, or your girly pink one that I bought you for Christmas last year?” I asked her.

  “Well, I stuffed it all into a plastic bag, so he won’t find out until he gets there – but of course the pink one.” Heather giggles.

  I started to laugh. That was exactly something she would do. I can just see Matt’s face now when he pulls out his chef’s uniform in front of all those guys.

  “Too bad you didn’t have someone to take a picture,” I said to her as I gathered up my coat and purse.

  “Oh, but I do. I called Pastor Miles who is leading the group tonight. I told him what I did, and he can’t wait to see Matt all dressed up. He’s agreed to take a few pictures for me,” she said as she grabbed my arm and led me to the front door.

  “Now that’s a sight I definitely wouldn’t want to miss. So, where are we going?” I asked her as I locked up the door and started out towards her car.

  “I thought we could go out for dinner tonight, just you and I. It’s been awhile since we’ve gone out and had some girly fun. I’m in the mood for some nice Italian food, how does that sound?” she asked me while doing a little dance in the snow by her car door.

  “Well, you definitely seem to be in quite the mood tonight.” I said to her. “What’s up? I didn’t think we were doing the girly night thing until next week?” I asked with a hint of hesitation to my voice.

  Heather is normally a spontaneous type of girl, but she’s acting a bit, hmm, I don’t know, strange tonight. Something is definitely up.

  “What do you mean, what’s up? Why does something have to be up when all I want to do is go and have some fun girly time tonight? I don’t want to wait until next week.” She stopped her twirling and stood there with her hands on her hips, almost like she was ready to do battle.

  I place my hands up in the air. “All right, All right. I give up.” I say as I start to laugh. It feels good to laugh. I think I need this tonight.

  “Good. Now get in the car and let’s go. I’m hungry.” Heather said to me with a sigh as she stepped into her car and started it up.

  *****

  We ended up at Mama Rose’s, the best little spot in town for Italian food. I absolutely love their Fettuccini Alfredo. I usually try and do take out here at least every week as a special treat to myself. Once in a while I’ll come in and dine, but not too often. This place has a real romantic flavor to it, and it’s too much to handle at times.

  The moment we walk in, we are instantly greeted by Mama Rose herself.

  “Wynnie, Wynnie. So good to see you.” she greets me while enfolding me in a warm hug and kisses on each cheek. “It’s been too long since you came in here. I haven’t seen you in over a week now. I made a cheesecake just for you, and you never come. Wynnie, Wynnie, what am I gonna do with you?” she says as she pats each cheek gently.

  “Heather. Now this is a treat. So good to see you. I remember when you girls used to come in here all the time. Then you get married, and you don’t come in as much. And where is that handsome man of yours?” she asked as she glances behind us.

  “It’s just us Mama Rose. We’re having a girl’s night tonight” I say to her as she takes us to a secluded table.

  “A girl’s night. Just the thing you need I think. Now you come this way. Best spot in the room, nice corner where you girls can have a quiet evening. And I will have a mochachino with chocolate whip cream and shavings to you in a jiffy. Come, come.” Mama Rose clapped her hands while leading us to our table.

  “Mochachino and cheesecake. Mama Rose, you spoil me.” I declared to her as I placed my arm around her thick waist and gave it a squeeze.

  “Ah, Wynnie, you need to be spoilt every now and then.” she replied as a blush swept across her face.

  “Now, sit, chat and enjoy.” and with that she left us and disappeared behind the counter to make our sweet drinks.

  As we sit, I take a glance around the restaurant. I absolutely love how Mama Rose has created the ambiance for the room. White Christmas lights are wrapped around the walls and create a soft glow throughout the room. Ivy is intertwined amongst the lights, and there are long wooden shelves along each wall holding antique items that range in size and detail. On one wall you can find white water pitchers set among antique looking mirrors that are surrounded by either potted plants or flowers. There are wall sconces everywhere with dimmed lights to help create the soft atmosphere that is part of this place. Soft classical music is being played somewhere. You almost expect to see musicians suddenly appear walking among the tables, serenading each couple as they hold hands, gazing into each other’s eyes. On each table is a cream-colored tablecloth, complete with a dazzling place setting and a candleholder. Each corner holds a tall plant, and there are mirrors situated in the perfect spots around the room to help catch the soft glow from the candles, and lights. The perfect setting for romance.

  After a server brings our mochachino’s, Heather and I settle in for a girl fest.

  I’m feeling a bit leery of where our discussions might lead us. You never know with Heather what journey her thoughts will take you. I figured it might be safer if I was to start the journey before she actually does.

  “Okay Heather, fess up. What do you have up your sleeve?” I asked her. With all her dancing, laughing and sly looks, I knew something was up.

  “Well, why don’t we just enjoy our chocolate drink, eat some good food, and then go from there?” Heather suggested while she toyed with the glass in her hand.

  “I’m game.” I told her. “As long as you promise to fess up later on. I’m not going to let you get out of whatever it is you have to say that easily.”

  Heather just laughed at me as our server came to the table with complimentary garlic bread from Mama Rose. She even topped half of it with melted cheese, yum, just the way I like it.

  We both decided to order our usual. I had the fettuccini while Heather ordered the special three-cheese lasagna. If we work this right, we will sit here long enough to enjoy our food, chat up a storm with each other, and still leave room for dessert at the end. When Mama Rose makes one of her special cheesecakes, you are just not allowed to pass that up. I am really hoping that she made her special Turtles Cheesecake, or even a Chocolate Chip Cheesecake.

  After chatting about normal girl things, from the likes of the new shoes Heather bought this week, to my need for new throw cushio
ns on my couch (thanks to my new pets), Heather decided to drop a bomb on me.

  “So Wynne. I got a hold of Rich and found out he is still single.” Boom.

  *****

  I could hear the whistle of the bomb from the moment Heather began with ‘so Wynne.’ When I heard the word ‘Rich’, I knew it was directly above me, and when she said ‘single’, that was when the bomb exploded. I felt paralyzed for a split second. Complete and utter shock and disbelief. Shock that this came out of nowhere. Disbelief that she would actually go behind my back and get in touch with Rich. I feel myself becoming immersed within those feelings until from the depths of my being I manage to resurface and actually hear what she just said.

  “You did what?” came exploding out of my mouth. The disbelief and the beginnings of what I can only describe as outrage could be heard within those three words.

  Heather just sat there calmly, nibbling on a breadstick while I felt like I was inside an out of control locomotive.

  “I found Rich for you.” She said as she let another bomb drop and explode around me.

  I couldn’t believe I actually heard her say that.

  “Why?” I asked her in stunned disbelief. “Why would you do that?”

  “One day you are going to wake up from your dreams and realize it is all too late. I don’t want that to happen to you. I love you. I’m your best friend. Why wouldn’t I do this?”

  I wanted to reach out and throw away the breadstick she nibbled on and them stomp on it.

  “Um, maybe because I never asked you to. Or how about because you knew that I wouldn’t want you to. Really Heather, I’m not all that happy about this. I can’t believe you would go behind my back and do this.” I answered her in even more disbelief, if that was even possible.