Oval Office Oddities

by Bill Fawcett

  BAD RAP

  For years, his critics and most of the nation were sure that his large meals and lavish parties were the reason that Chester A. Arthur was the epitome of the do-nothing president. It was not until he died nine months after leaving office that everyone learned he had been suffering from Bright’s disease, an inflammation of the kidney. Bright’s, combined with a resurgence of his malaria, did him in. It seems that his lethargy and lack of energy were real and not character flaws. Then again, if he was so sick, you have to wonder about all those parties, drinking, and late hours.

  SINISTER NEWS

  The first left-handed president was Rutherford B. Hayes, elected in 1876. Righties dominated for almost all of the first century of the nation.

  SNOOZE

  William Howard Taft was not only a big man, weighing in at more than three hundred pounds, but a most hearty eater. He tended to have large meals several times a day. These meals tended to make the president drowsy and he often fell asleep during conversations and even cabinet meetings. The common reaction to this was simply to wait, as President Taft normally woke up after fifteen or twenty minutes and resumed any conversation as if there had been no interruption.

  President Taft was such a large man, in fact, that he had trouble using the existing bathtub in the White House. After an embarrassing incident where he had to call for help to be extricated from the normal-sized tub, the president had a much larger tub installed. History does not record what his successor, the much slighter and lighter Wilson, thought of the massive appliance.

  TALLPOX

  Biological warfare is not a new development. Catapulting diseased animals and human bodies into cities under siege goes back to ancient timies. Surprisingly, it was used successfully against Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War. The presidency was seen as much more an office of the people at this time and those with grievances, or those seeking office, were often able to meet directly with the president. One female Confederate sympathizer went directly from being with a man who was infected with smallpox to such a meeting in the hope she would spread the disease, and without the president the nation would lose its resolve. Lincoln soon developed the disease and was laid up for several weeks. In keeping with the long tradition of never telling the public the truth about any presidential illness, his doctors stated Honest Abe was suffering from a mild case of the far less serious varioloid. The president eventually recovered fully.

  SELF-INFLICTED WOUND

  Theodore Roosevelt was one of the most physically adventurous men ever to serve as president. He was extremely aware of one weakness: his poor eyesight. While a Rough Rider he was known to carry as many as six pairs of glasses with him.

  Teddy Roosevelt’s eyesight got a lot worse while he was president. Always a very athletic man, he often engaged in contact sports, mostly boxing and jujitsu, while in office. He was always looking for a good boxing opponent and often fought much younger military personnel or professional boxers. One suspects that some of the young army and navy officers might not have worked too hard to beat the commander in chief, but he insisted they give him a good fight. During one boxing match in 1904, President Theodore Roosevelt didn’t quite duck quickly enough and took a glancing blow to his left eye. Now, who did this has been a bit vague. Most attribute the blow to a young naval officer. But Teddy also was known to say it came from the current heavyweight champion, whom he also fought. Given this president’s ego, the actual opponent was likely the naval officer; claiming it was the champion made the wound more acceptable.

  Whoever actually landed the blow, the truth is the real damage was done by Teddy himself. A few hours after the fight, floating spots appeared in the president’s vision. They were caused by blood leaking from ruptured blood vessels. Normally this was not a major problem. The patient makes sure not to jar the head and rests the eye a lot and the vessels seal up. But the president could never be described as patient. He announced that he could not rest his eyes since he had another boxing match and also his jujitsu lesson that day. He kept up this intense regimen for the rest of his term in office. All sight in Teddy’s left eye was gone by late 1908; of course, the president didn’t admit publicly to the loss until a decade later when he wanted to raise a regiment to fight in World War I.

  MOUTHING THE WORDS

  In this age of TV candidates, a quick mouth and resonant voice are a real asset. Grover Cleveland actually lost his. In early 1893, at the start of his second term, President Cleveland was given the shocking news that he had a cancerous growth on the top of his mouth. There was no chemotherapy at the end of the nineteenth century. U. S. Grant had died of cancer less than a decade earlier and untreated cancers were a death sentence. But President Cleveland had another concern. The United States was at the peak of a major financial crisis. He had been reelected to solve the problems causing it and even a hint that he might be unable to continue as president would likely cause a panic.

  So the president chose, as several other presidents have before and since, to keep what was happening from the public. At the end of June, President Cleveland completed an appearance in New York City, then boarded a friend’s boat to take a “six-day cruise” around Long Island. The reality was that the yacht had been equipped with an operating theater and doctors waited on board. A portion of the president’s upper jaw and palate was removed in a way that left no visible scar. When the yacht landed in Buzzard’s Bay, the president walked ashore without help and no one was the wiser. A few weeks later, a follow-up operation removed a much smaller area of cancer that had been missed at the edge of the growth. Then a dentist put in a rubber fixture that replaced the lost bone. The operation and the new palate were a success. There was little change in the president’s voice or appearance. Eventually the economy returned to normal, but it was not until after Grover Cleveland died ten years later that the American public learned of the president’s cancer and operation.

  HYPOCRITICAL OATH

  There is a real tradition of hiding presidential disabilities. From Kennedy’s multiple illnesses to FDR’s legs, the American public rarely learns when their president has a problem. One of the worst examples of this was the collapse of Woodrow Wilson. After World War I, the scholarly Wilson was convinced that war could be ended if there was a forum at which international disputes could be settled. This was his beloved League of Nations. There was only one problem: a growing isolationist movement and questions about the League’s structure meant that the treaty met with solid opposition in the Senate. In response, Woodrow Wilson went on an extensive and exhausting railroad tour of the Western states. He often made four or more speeches in a day and returned on the edge of collapse. On October 4, 1919, a few days after returning the to the White House, President Wilson was found unconscious on the floor of a bathroom.

  When the doctors were able to bring Woodrow Wilson back to consciousness he appeared to have had a stroke and his entire left side was paralyzed. This was a major and serious condition, with the president not only incapacitated but in danger of dying. For his last five months as president, Wilson was barely, if at all, able to function. Only his wife and personal secretary were allowed to enter his room, with his wife reporting the president’s “decisions” from his sickbed to awaiting staff. Yes, there is a question of who was actually making those decisions, but this was a more genteel era. Can you imagine what Rush Limbaugh would do with such a situation today?

  To relax her husband, the First Lady turned to the newest media wonder of its day. Every afternoon, a movie was shown in the East Room for the benefit of the president. Many of the studios and producers cooperated, sending copies of their movies to be viewed by the president and his guests. Gradually, Wilson recovered, and in February of 1920, was able to make a short trip in his automobile. During all this time, even after Warren Harding became president, there was virtually no mention in the newspapers or on the radio that Woodrow Wilson, the president of the United States, was unable to function in the office.
/>   A SHORT VISIT

  The shortest celebrity likely to have visited the White House arrived during the administration of James Polk. This was the famous General Tom Thumb, star of P. T. Barnum’s famous show. When he heard that the showman and the perfectly formed, but very short man (at this point standing about two feet six inches) arrived, President Polk adjourned a cabinet meeting to rush out to meet them. This visit went much better for the little person than one of his meetings with Queen Victoria, where he was attacked by her pet poodle.

  TO THE RANCH WITH YOU, MR. PRESIDENT

  The best way to describe Warren Harding’s end was that he worked himself to death. The story of how this happened makes you want to encourage presidents to spend more time getting healthy, even on their ranch. To begin with, the thirtieth president knew he was not healthy. He had diabetes (before there were effective treatments for it), an enlarged heart, and his arteries were hardening by the day. But rather than take it easy, the president embarked on an intensive trip to the West Coast and Alaska.

  It seems likely President Harding was aware of the risk he was taking and just how far he was pushing his body. Before leaving, the president made a will, sold some property, shifted investments, and generally put everything in order. His concerns must have been increased by a bad case of flu he was still recovering from, and which he constantly complained about as having left him weak. Yet he not only took a strenuous trip, but did so on a schedule that would exhaust a healthy twenty-year-old.

  In the next months after his illness, Warren Harding traveled by train to fifty-four cities and delivered over eighty speeches. He also rarely repeated a speech, so he was constantly changing them, or creating new ones during the trip. In addition, he was featured at literally dozens of ceremonies ranging from giving Boy Scouts badges to laying a golden spike in Alaska. Even as he traveled between the various stops, the train was filled with local politicians, each one determined to have a few minutes with the president on what was likely their only chance to have such a meeting.

  Weak and ailing, Harding carried on and never missed an appearance. It was only after he had come south from Alaska and was in Seattle that the toll of his efforts began to show. During a speech there, the president seemed to pause and almost collapse, but he managed to finish the speech. President Harding made it back to San Francisco before he was hospitalized, and soon died of pneumonia and a suspected brain hemorrhage. The simple fact was that Warren G. Harding worked himself to death.

  BEST DRESSED

  Perhaps JFK and Millard Fillmore could give him a run for his money, but the top candidate for Best Dressed President had to be Chester A. Arthur. In the era when most men owned “a suit,” he had eighty pairs of pants, with matching coats and accessories. But then, the widowed twenty-first president needed to dress well, as he was a serious party animal. He regularly visited nightclubs and stayed in them late into the night.

  FACING IT

  Abraham Lincoln was many things, but by the standards of then or today handsome was not among his attributes. It is likely that in today’s blow-dried, TV-dominated elections he could not get elected. The tall president may have had Marfan’s syndrome, which would explain his unusual height, thin but strong physique, and long limbs. His arms were proportionally longer than normal, which is very long indeed for a man as tall as he was. Lincoln also had no illusions about his looks. He said it best himself. Once in a debate his opponent called him “two faced.” The future president’s quick reply was, “I leave it to my audience. If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?”

  MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY

  In the tradition of Grover Cleveland, Theodore Roosevelt loved to eat. A typical breakfast for the active president consisted of up to a dozen eggs, large amounts of coffee, and side dishes. Even his constant exercise and hikes could not totally reverse the effects of the twenty-sixth president’s enormous appetite. To put it politely, in modern terms, Teddy developed a belly. A really large and noticeable belly. All that cholesterol every morning may have also had a second price. It is likely that Teddy died of arteriosclerosis and atherosclerosis (calcium and fat build up and blockage in the arteries).

  PURPLE ABOUT EVERYTHING

  While there have been other presidents who were injured, none can hold a candle to the sheer volume of abuse Theodore Roosevelt subjected his body to. A short list of his major accidents alone is impressive, even more so when you realize he died not from any of them but from clogged arteries.

  Teddy was thrown through a glass window when a steamship he was in collided with another ship.

  He lost the sight in one eye in a boxing match with a sailor at the White House.

  Roosevelt broke an arm falling off his horse while riding to the hounds (a fox hunt).

  His arm was broken again in a stick-fighting bout, which was a martial art fighting style from the Philippines he became trained in.

  The president was almost killed when his carriage was hit by a trolley in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. A Secret Service agent did die and the bruise the president received on one leg was so bad that it became necrotic. Doctors cut away dead tissue all the way down to the bone.

  In 1912, he was shot on his way to a Progressive “Bull Moose” Party rally in Milwaukee. The bullet was slowed when it first hit his eyeglass case, but it did penetrate the president. Everyone got ready to rush the former president to a hospital, but he was already at the rally and could hear the crowd as word of the shooting spread. Before leaving to be treated, Roosevelt got up on the stage and announced to a shocked and pleased audience, “I do not know whether you fully understand that I have been shot, but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.”

  THE TYPO OF LOVE

  When Woodrow Wilson lost his wife to disease in 1914, he was overwhelmed with the loss and excessively depressed. For some time, there was concern that the nation might have its first presidential suicide. What helped pull Wilson out of his downer was Edith Boling Galt. The couple met and she quickly charmed the bereaved president. Soon they were dating, and since they married a year later, the Washington Post report of one of their first events may have been not untrue but only premature. The president escorted Edith Galt to a play. It must have been obvious that the couple paid more attention to each other than to the actors, but still the Post report appearing the next day was likely off, considering the very proper manner of both subjects of the piece. The article read, “the President spent most of his time entering Mrs. Galt.” We think they meant “entertaining,”

  SLEEPER

  If Calvin Coolidge had a lifelong hobby, it has to be sleeping. He was by far the champion sleeper in a job that is characterized by sleepless nights. The thirtieth president rarely missed his 10 p.m. bedtime and slept at least eight, and often ten, hours each night. He also napped most afternoons. His proclivity for slumber was well-known. At a performance of Animal Crackers, the always-irreverent Groucho Marx once spotted the president and, in the middle of the show, faced the audience and asked, “Isn’t this past your bedtime, Calvin?”

  JFK AND FDR

  While president, both Jack Kennedy and Franklin Roosevelt had a similar secret. Today, most people know that FDR was crippled and unable to walk without braces, but few even today realize that JFK had a similar problem. The thirty-fifth president had a bad back even when young. During his truly heroic efforts after the sinking of PT-109, he seriously aggravated the problem when he had to tow a wounded sailor some distance to a nearby island when their boat was rammed by a Japanese destroyer. Eventually, Kennedy had a steel plate placed in his back which later had to be removed. Because of his back, Jack Kennedy often used crutches to walk around the White House but, like Roosevelt, he never let the American people be aware of his many medical problems, much less see him use assistance to walk. Also like FDR, the press kept a gentleman’s agreement, and neither wrote about nor took pictures of JFK using his crutches.

  LEGACY

  One of Jac
k Kennedy’s doctors, Seymour Hersh, MD, has stated that he regularly treated the president for chlamydia, a nasty venereal infection that can leave a woman sterile. He went on to say that, with his promiscuous personal habits, JFK was constantly getting infected by STDs, as were his partners. The age of Camelot has long faded, but perhaps some of the STDs JFK passed on are still around.

  GOTTA HAVE HEART

  While a senator in 1955, long before he became president, Lyndon Baines Johnson had a severe heart attack. He made a complete recovery and was the Democratic Majority Leader of the Senate while Eisenhower was president.

  ANOTHER SECRET SERVICE

  President Gerald Ford had occasional problems with his lower intestinal tract. This tended to manifest itself by producing gas in large quantities, which was occasionally very loudly expelled. When this occurred while walking, President Ford would turn to his escorting agent and blame one of them for the unpresidential outburst.

  MODEL PRESIDENT

  One of Ronald Reagan’s jobs while a student at the University of California was to pose, with just enough on for modesty, for the life drawing classes. Because of this, he was once voted “Most Nearly Perfect Male Figure.” Maybe that was what Jane Wyman saw in him?

  BUSHUSURU

  It is not many men that have a word created from their name. For most who do it is a dubious distinction, just ask Boycott and Lynch. President George H. W. Bush achieved this distinction in one televised action. It was the night he vomited into the lap of the Japanese prime minister at a state banquet. The word Bushusuru quickly appeared in common use as a slang phrase in Japan and continues to be used to this day. As you might guess, the meaning is “to throw up.”