Joshua's Folly

by Dean, Taylor

  Torture.

  “Welcome home, Marisa!” Bethany’s little voice squealed excitedly. Mary, Jerome, Bethany, and Constance all greeted her at the door, as if they’d been anxiously awaiting her arrival.

  Marisa forced herself to smile for Bethany’s sake, when inside all she wanted to do was cry—and get the heck out of Joshua’s arms.

  They lingered in the entryway for several moments in an awkward silence. Then everyone seemed to talk at once.

  “How are you, Marisa?” Bethany asked, sweetly.

  “You look so much better. Your color is back,” Mary muttered.

  “How’s my girl?” Jerome said, patting her shoulder.

  “I’d better get her up to bed,” Josh announced.

  Marisa acknowledged Josh. “Yes, please. I’d like to lie down.”

  Josh took her upstairs and gently placed her in the bed.

  I’m back. I’m back at the ranch. By a horrible twist of fate, I’ve returned.

  “Can I get you anything, Marisa?” Josh queried as he ran his fingers through her hair, tenderly, surprising her with the physical contact. His fingers traced the contours of her face, gently moving her hair away from her eyes.

  “No, thank you,” she answered, avoiding his eyes, wishing he’d stop touching her.

  “Marisa…I owe you an apology. I’m so sorry about everything.” His lips brushed her forehead in a soft caress as he laced their hands together.

  “Me too,” she whispered. “I’m sorry about your truck. I shouldn’t have taken off like that. It was a stupid and careless thing to do. I’m responsible for…”

  “I don’t care about the truck,” Josh interrupted. “I already have a new one. I’m just glad you’re okay. That’s all that matters. Please, I need to talk to you about…”

  Apparently noticing movement in his peripheral vision, Josh looked up at the doorway.

  “Mary,” he smiled, even though he was unable to hide a flash of irritation at the interruption. “It’s great to have you back. I’ll leave you two to visit for awhile.” Josh kissed her forehead one more time and slowly released her hands. “Rest, Marisa,” he whispered.

  Mary and Josh embraced for a moment before he left the room. Marisa did the math in her head. It’s been sixteen years since they’ve seen each other. Unfortunately, it’s taken a tragedy to get Mary to return to the ranch.

  Marisa knew from Mary’s expression that she was filled with questions. Josh’s tender ministrations had told her more than words could convey. Little did Mary know that it—whatever it had been—was already over, before it had barely even begun.

  “Oh…my…gosh,” Mary said succinctly.

  Marisa felt the blood drain from her face.

  Mary knew.

  She waited to be bombarded with questions she didn’t know the answers to. Instead, Mary studied Marisa’s expression, somehow perceiving her inner turmoil.

  Quietly, Mary asked, “Marisa…why didn’t you tell me?”

  Several seconds passed until Marisa replied, “Tell you what?” Total obvious evasion.

  “About Joshua?”

  “What about him?”

  Clearly a little exasperated, Mary rolled her eyes. Marisa noted the sincere concern in Mary’s eyes, hiding behind her display of levity, and she loved her for it. “Why didn’t you tell me about you and Joshua?”

  Marisa capitulated only slightly. “Me and Josh?”

  “Yes, you and Josh. It’s clear that something happened between the two of you.”

  “What makes you say that?” Since she or Josh had never told Mary about their burgeoning relationship, it seemed a moot point to tell her about it now.

  Mary scoffed at the query. “Marisa, anyone who saw the two of you together just now would know immediately. The way he looks at you, the way he touches you, the way he kisses you, the way he tenderly runs his fingers through your hair. Are you kidding? It’s not something you can hide.”

  That’s what I thought too. I was wrong.

  Marisa relented, letting out a deep sigh. “I love him, Mary,” she said softly, not wanting to share any of the details.

  “You love him?”

  “Yes. I wanted it to happen before I arrived, before I even met him.”

  “I know. Or at least, I suspected. Who do you think had to wipe off all those fingerprints from Joshua’s picture in the hallway?”

  “I didn’t know you knew.”

  “I surmised your feelings were more than just obsession with a handsome face.”

  Marisa said nothing more. Josh and Mary had always enjoyed a good relationship and she didn’t want to cause a family rift. It would hurt Mary to know that she and Josh were breaking up. It was best to keep quiet about the entire affair.

  “So…the two of you…” Mary coaxed, clearly dying to know more.

  Marisa shook her head in the negative. “No. It’s over.” A single tear slipped down her cheek, unchecked.

  “I see.” Mary studied her speculatively. “Marisa, exactly how far did things go between the two of you?”

  Several tense moments passed as Marisa didn’t answer right away. Her eyes filled with tears, but no more fell, as she slowly breathed, “Far.”

  Mary appeared hesitant to ask the next question. “How far?”

  Marisa answered quietly, “Not as far as you’re thinking.”

  Mary let out a sigh of relief. “Good, because I was about to kill Josh if he’d taken advantage of you in any way.”

  Uncomfortable, Marisa changed the subject, “Thank you for being here, Mary. I’m so glad you came.”

  Mary hugged her while mumbling, “I was so worried about you, my precious daughter. We all were.” She sniffled, revealing her concern. “To be honest, it feels good to be back in my childhood home. It really does.”

  Mary glanced at Marisa’s nightstand and picked up the beautifully framed picture sitting next to her lamp. She studied it intently for a few minutes and Marisa knew exactly what she was seeing. It was a picture of herself, Josh, and Bethany. Bethany sat on Marisa’s lap. But Josh was behind Marisa, his arms securely wrapped around her, their cheeks pressed together, huge smiles on their faces. Marisa’s arms were raised, her hands buried in Josh’s hair. It was the inclusion of Bethany that made the picture misleading—otherwise they looked like summertime lovers, happy and carefree.

  Marisa found herself feeling extremely grateful for Mary’s decorum. Sensing Marisa’s angst, she didn’t ask one more single probing question about Joshua Kensington.

  She didn’t have to. The picture said it all.

  –16–

  Late that afternoon, Mary barged into Josh’s office. She didn’t knock and Josh found himself hiding a smile. Evidently, being a ‘firecracker’ was a learned behavior. Josh knew exactly where Marisa had learned it too. Truth be told, he wished it was Marisa bursting through the door—because she was the person in his life who could always enter without knocking. I want that.

  “Marisa?” he inquired.

  “She’s sleeping. It’s the best thing for her right now.”

  “Good.”

  “May I speak with you, Joshua?” Mary asked politely, standing in front of his desk, hands on her hips, her eyes directly on his, her tone incongruous with her stance. He knew this moment was coming and he’d been dreading it.

  “Sure,” he said coolly, leaning back in his chair, his hands clasped behind his head casually. He propped his feet up on his desk, attempting to act natural even though he knew it was ‘fess up’ time. Neither Josh nor Marisa had ever mentioned to Mary that they’d been ‘seeing’ each other. He wondered if Mary was going to be angry with him.

  Mary suddenly smiled, distracted. “When did you grow up, Joshua Kensington? You’re a handsome little devil.”

  “Several years ago, in fact,”

  “I still think of you as twelve, running free on the ranch by day and never coming in till well after dark.”

  “Things have changed.”


  “They certainly have. I can’t believe what you’ve done with the place. It’s amazing. The Folly is absolutely incredible. Jerome doesn’t want to leave it. He spends all of his time wandering around like a lost soul, mumbling about beauty. I can’t ever find him either. I think he might be hiding from me. And the pool…wow.”

  Josh chuckled. Mary’d always been a rather colorful character. “Thanks, Mary. I hope this means you’ll come to visit more often.”

  Her demeanor changed as she was no longer sidetracked. “What’s going on?”

  “What do you mean?” He’d make her spell it out before he admitted to anything.

  “Between you and Marisa,” she stated bluntly. “Don’t bother denying it. Marisa already admitted that something happened between the two of you.”

  Josh stood, his hands in his pockets, and faced the window. “She’s a beautiful girl. Inside and out.”

  “You’re evading the question.”

  He faced her. “What exactly is the question?”

  “What happened? Why was Marisa leaving the ranch early? Why was she driving your truck to the airport with all of her luggage in the back? And why do the two of you look at each other and then pretend you weren’t? Why does silence fill the room whenever you enter? Do you need more questions? Or will that suffice?”

  Josh ran his hand through his hair tiredly. “That’ll do.” Mary was anything but unobservant. She didn’t miss a thing. “I didn’t expect it to happen. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew the moment we met at the airport. Because of our family connection, I was hesitant, unsure how to proceed. And then, everything seemed to happen so fast. It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, the passion between us, the emotions. We hardly slept, we wanted to spend every moment in each other’s company, as if we were two teenagers ready to run away together.” Josh lowered his head and exhaled deeply. How could he possibly explain what had happened between him and Marisa? He hardly understood it himself. Their feelings for each other had become intense so quickly. Neither one of them had expected the huge blow up of emotions they’d faced on that last fateful night. He cringed inside at the thought of it.

  “You’re in love with her,” Mary breathed, unmistakably dumbfounded. “You really are.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Yes, it does. Where love is involved, anything can happen. Miracles can happen.”

  “You always were a romantic. Don’t think I don’t remember all those romance novels you were always reading. Dad always said you had your head in the clouds.”

  “Maybe I still do. Look, you don’t need to tell me any personal details, that’s between you and Marisa. But if the two of you are in love with each other, you can work this out. Don’t give up, Josh.”

  “You mean you approve of us?”

  “Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “I don’t know. Marisa and I worried over your reaction, that’s all.”

  “I wondered if something might develop between you two when I sent her out here. To be honest, I was kinda disappointed when nothing seemed to be happening.”

  “You’ve been matchmaking?”

  “Not really. All I did was agree with her decision to spend the summer here. She’s always wanted to come and see the ranch. I didn’t dare send her out here when she was younger—for this very reason.”

  Josh knew if they’d met years ago, the same thing would’ve happened. It was inevitable. “A wise decision.”

  “Evidently,” Mary said with amusement. “May I ask what went wrong?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “These things always are. But they don’t have to be, Josh. Marisa is strong, she’ll pull out of this, just like she did before.”

  “What do you mean?” Josh asked, unsure what Mary was talking about.

  “The accident, her recovery.”

  “Wait. She’s been in an accident before?”

  “She didn’t tell you about it?”

  “No. What accident?” he asked with trepidation.

  “That’s how she lost her parents, remember? I told you about that.”

  “I know her parents died in a car accident, but are you saying that…”

  “Oh. I thought you knew. She never talks about it. It was very traumatic. She had nightmares for several years, and still does on occasion.” Mary paused. “She was in the car with her parents during the car accident. She was hurt rather severely, but never lost consciousness. She could see her parents amidst the wreckage. They were both gone upon impact. It took them nearly an hour just to get Marisa out of the car. I can’t imagine what kind of a grueling hour that must’ve been for her.”

  Josh fell silent, overwhelmed by this revelation. “How did she survive it?”

  Mary seemed to know he didn’t mean physically. “It wasn’t easy. She had some rough days.”

  “Just how badly was she hurt?”

  “Would you like to see what I saw the first time I saw Marisa?”

  “You mean you have a picture?”

  “I do. The foster agency called and attempted to prepare me for meeting Marisa. They told me they had a lovely eleven-year-old girl who had just been in a horrific accident wherein she’d lost her parents. They said it was a miracle the girl had lived. That’s when I found out her name was Marisa, a form of Mary, and a name I would’ve given to my own daughter. It seemed like fate. They gave me a picture so I would know what to expect. It didn’t help. The picture in no way prepared me for the reality. The visual impact was so much harder in person. She was so little, so frail. It broke my heart. I sat next to her and started talking to her, softly. I held her hand and her hand squeezed mine as tears slipped down her cheeks. I was in love with her from that moment on. As far as I’m concerned she became my daughter in that instant. The picture is not easy to look at, Josh. Are you sure you want to see it?”

  Josh swallowed. “I want to know everything about her.”

  “I’ll be back in a moment.”

  While Mary went to retrieve the picture, Josh mulled over this new revelation. Marisa seemed so normal, so well-adjusted, so sure of herself. It didn’t seem remotely possible that she’d endured a harrowing experience in her childhood. Not that losing her parents was not horrible enough, but to have been in the car and witnessed it while sustaining physical injury at the same time was horrendous, almost unthinkable. How do you recover from something like that? How do you move on with life?

  Mary entered the room, looking somber, causing him to be filled with dread at what he was about to see.

  “Are you ready for this?” she asked.

  Just how bad was it going to be? Surely it wasn’t that appalling. It wasn’t as if Marisa had physical scars from the ordeal. She had healed. She wasn’t crippled, or maimed for life. Mary must be exaggerating, having lived through it with Marisa. It must’ve been emotionally draining. “Sure,” was all he said in response.

  “I don’t look at it often, but I keep it with me as sort of a reminder of the tenuousness of life. It keeps me focused on what matters most.” She handed the picture to Josh and he hesitated, feeling as though he was invading Marisa’s privacy. She’d never spoken of the event. That, in and of itself, was telling as to just how much of a trial it had been for her.

  But he wanted a future with her, and he planned to make things right between them again as soon as possible. He simply had to wait for the right time. He wanted, no, needed to know everything about her. It would help him to understand her. He reached out, feeling the smooth glossy photo paper between his fingers. He didn’t immediately glance downwards at the photo, but instead held Mary’s disturbed gaze for a moment. When he finally looked at the photo, he actually felt his knees go weak and his stomach turn. The young girl in the picture was covered with black and blue bruises, eyes swollen shut, lips cracked and bloody, a blood stained bandage wrapped tightly around the head. Tubes seemed to be everywhere, sustaining her life. Josh fell to the chair behind him, feeling as tho
ugh he’d just been sucker punched. He handed the picture back to Mary. He didn’t want to ever see it again in his lifetime.

  “That can’t be Marisa.”

  “It is. It’s a daunting sight, I know. Another reason I kept it was to remind me of what she’d been through in her life. We wondered if she would have severe emotional scars. We thought she would be guarded, moody, sullen, and non-communicative. We all expected her to be a difficult child with serious psychological problems, with good reason, mind you. I thought the picture would remind me to go easy on her when the going got tough.” Mary sighed. “But that never happened. Instead, what we got was a sweet, loving little girl who seemed to soak up affection like a sponge. She was well behaved and polite to a fault. She cleaned her room and made her bed. She wanted to do everything I was doing, cook with me, clean with me, or run errands.” Mary paused, a perplexed expression marring her features. “It wasn’t until Marisa was a senior in high school that she admitted something to me, something that disturbed me greatly.” Mary wiped away a stray tear. “Marisa admitted to not eating much during her first few years with us. She said that she was petrified of becoming a bother to us, of being too expensive, or of being too much trouble. She worried we’d send her back to social services and she wouldn’t have a home or a family anymore. Can you imagine a young child feeling like that? It broke my heart,” Mary admitted. “She was so very quiet at first. She never wanted to do anything with other kids. She was content to do whatever we were doing. Of course, in time that changed as she opened up and made friends. She was always an excellent student, we never even had to remind her to do her homework. I couldn’t ask for more. She was a pleasure to raise and I’ve never regretted our decision to bring her into our home. Over the years she’s brought us so much happiness, she’s been an absolute joy. She is loyal and loves unconditionally.” Mary looked him in the eyes. “She doesn’t love lightly. She knows the cost of losing a loved one, and she lives her life accordingly.”

  Her words had the desired effect. Josh felt a ripple of guilt wash over him. He admired the way Marisa had moved on with her life, not letting past hurts determine her future—something he’d had a hard time doing. His decision to let her move on with her life was based solely on his past experiences and not at all on what Marisa was saying to him. He hadn’t trusted Marisa enough to know her own mind and what she wanted in life. He hadn’t listened to her. Not at all.