Head-Tripped: A Sexy Rock Star Romance (Ad Agency Series Book 2)

by Nicole Archer

  And soon Urban was on their way to Paris, speeding down the highway in the Barbie Disco Bus, everyone singing and laughing at the top of their lungs, like they were tripping on hallucinogenic drugs.

  30

  Impresario

  Disneyland, Paris

  Soundtrack “Super Freak,” Rick James

  The concert in Paris went off without a hitch, and since they had time to kill before they had to be in Belgium, he surprised Effie with tickets to Disneyland.

  They dressed up in biker costumes and ran into Cato at the elevator. Head down and eyes on his phone, the bassist stepped on the elevator without noticing them.

  Effie snorted.

  Cato grabbed his heart. “Shit. Thought I was on here with a bunch of Easy Rider motherfuckers.” He narrowed his eyes. “Why are you dressed up like Hell’s Angels?”

  Effie tossed her braid and adjusted her bandana. “So nobody recognizes us at Disneyland.”

  “I want to go to Disneyland. Hold up. Let me get my wallet. I’ll go with you.”

  Elias shook his head and waved behind Cato’s back. No way did he want Cato tagging along on their date.

  But Effie ignored his distress signal. “Want to wear a costume?” she asked. “I’ve got more stuff back in my room.”

  “Let’s see what you got.”

  An hour later, Rick James and a couple of bikers stood in line at Disneyland.

  Cato punched him in the shoulder. “‘Sup with you, old man? Why you so grumpy?” He called them “old man” and “old lady,” claiming that’s what motorcycle gangs did.

  Grumpy wasn’t the right word, more like furious. Until Rick “Cock-blocking” James showed up, Elias had planned to make out with Effie on the kiddie rides all day. On top of that, Cato would not stop singing “Super Freak.”

  “You feeling okay?” Effie asked him. “You’re awfully quiet.”

  “He’s super freakin’ about the Temple of Doom,” Cato said, sitting his ass between them on the ride.

  It was hard to tell what Elias hated most about the Temple of Doom—Cato chanting “super freaky” every time they hit a deep slope, or his running commentary about the movie set. And since Effie hadn’t seen the movie, Cato gladly filled her in on the plot during the Thunder Mountain ride.

  “He fell into a pit of snakes?” she cried. “Then what?”

  Cato told her on the next ride.

  When an asteroid zoomed toward them during the Armageddon ride, Cato screamed melodramatically and made the little girl next to them cry. “Sorry for super freakin’ out your kid,” he told the parents.

  After that, Cato bought monogrammed mouse ears for everyone—Grumpy for Elias, Bootsie for her, and Super Freak for himself.

  Elias ditched the mouse ears on the next ride, and now, it was time to ditch the Super Freak.

  The minute Cato excused himself for the bathroom, Elias grabbed Effie and made a break for it, yelling “freedom!” like Mel Gibson in Braveheart.

  She laughed. “Where to now, old man?”

  He motioned to the Alice in Wonderland labyrinth. “Let’s get lost in there.”

  On the way, he bought her a Mickey Mouse lollipop and kissed her freckled nose. “Let’s hurry before Rick James catches up. We’ve got a lot of making out to do.”

  Inside the Queen of Heart’s castle, they dry-humped each other in a dark corner until the Mad Hatter showed up and tapped his shoulder.

  “Excusez-moi. Vous ne pouvez pas faire ça ici. You can’t do that here.”

  “This is maddening,” she said.

  “Hop on, let’s get out of here.” He gave her a piggyback ride through the maze and finally found a secluded mushroom. He set her on top, next to the life-sized caterpillar, and stood between her legs. “With those braids, and that big lollipop, you look like a naughty Alice.”

  She winked and licked the sucker from top to bottom.

  He growled and bit her neck. “Keep doing that and I’m going to have to take you right here on top of this mushroom, old lady.”

  She beamed. “I’m having the best time. Thank you for bringing me to Paris.”

  “Thank you, for existing.”

  Tears glistened in her eyes. “No one’s ever thanked me for living before.”

  He stroked her cheek. “What’s wrong, mi vida?”

  “You make me feel...”

  “Feel what?”

  “That’s it. You make me feel. I was numb before I met you.”

  Her kiss tasted like lollipops and happy tears.

  “Well, well, what do we have here?”

  Every muscle in Elias’s body went rigid. “Mierda.”

  Behind them, Cato grinned satanically underneath the giant Cheshire Cat. “That’s right, mucho grande mierda, motherfucker. You got some ‘splaining to do, Lucy.”

  “Oh, no.” Effie bit her knuckles and groaned.

  Cato cupped his ear. “I’m sorry, what’d you say, Yoko Ono?”

  “You gonna tell the others, man?” Elias asked.

  Cato pushed his tongue against his cheek. “Nah, we cool.”

  “Sure about that?”

  “We cool, I said.” And that was the last time he mentioned it.

  31

  Glissando

  Soundtrack “She’s The One,” The Beta Band

  Forget music, romancing Effie had become Elias’s new mission in life. Making her happy filled him with machismo. Around her, he felt stronger, taller, more sexual—like a panther on the hunt.

  He couldn’t wait to surprise her with a real life Candy Land.

  The minute they arrived in Brussels, he snuck out and went to the famous candy store Pierre Marcolini.

  Pink and purple flower vines climbed over the store’s entrance, and colorful chocolate Manneken Pis statues filled the window displays. A chocolate kid, taking a chocolate piss—not exactly appetizing.

  Inside the store, red and white swirled lollipops hung from the ceiling like balloons. Shelves of chocolate stuffed the store and bins full of rainbow-colored candy lined the middle. The sugary aroma of melted chocolate flooded his senses.

  All of a sudden, he was a four-year-old boy again, making Los Submarinos with his mother in the kitchen. He sprinkled the dark powder into the steaming pot of milk while she stirred and hummed tango songs. Her hair was the same rich color as the chocolate. Back then, he thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

  Until she ruined herself.

  He rubbed his chest, trying to deaden the dull pain the memory caused.

  After he bought two enormous bags full of candy, he strolled down the street, whistling while he walked.

  In a window display a block away, a sparkly ring caught his attention. The stone was the same color blue as Effie’s eyes. A delicate silver setting surrounded the raw stone like tiny petals folding over a flower bud.

  Without a second thought, he marched into the shop to buy it for her.

  A woman in pigtails behind the counter lifted her goggles and shut off her blowtorch. Her eyes bugged out. “El Love?” She blabbered French nonsense for over a minute before realizing he couldn’t understand a word. “My God, it is you. I can’t believe you’re in my store!”

  He flashed her a smile. “Could you show me the blue ring out front?”

  “Sure. Sure.” She sprinted to the window and retrieved it.

  “What is this stone?” he asked.

  “Aquamarine.”

  He held it up to the light. “I’ve never seen anything like it. Did you design the setting?”

  She clutched her chest and gushed more French. “Oui. I’m so glad you like it.”

  He pulled out his wallet. “I’ll take it.”

  “Mon Dieu!” she cried. “You’re getting engaged? But your fans will be so heartbroken.”

  Had he heard that right? “Engaged?”

  She swooned and fanned her face. “I can’t wait to tell my friends El Love is proposing with my ring.”

  He held up hi
s hand. “Por favor, did you say this is an engagement ring?”

  She blinked. “Mais, bien sûr.

  Her response hit him like an electric charge. “Can’t it just be a normal ring? Why does it have to be an engagement ring?”

  The jeweler jerked back as if he’d wounded her. Then she went on and on about her design and how it represented a merging of souls.

  Whatever. No one tells Elias Lovaro what to do. So what if he wanted to give Effie a ring for the hell of it? Who said he had to get down on one knee?

  He passed her his credit card.

  The shopkeeper shrieked and rung him up. “This is so exciting. How long have you been together?”

  “A while.” Why didn’t he tell her the truth? Maybe because no man in their right mind would buy a woman a ring so soon. “Actually.” He laughed nervously. “Not long.”

  “Ah, c’est un coup de foudre?”

  He shrugged.

  “It means struck by lightning in English. But in French we say it to describe love at first sight.” She smiled and handed him the bill.

  His heart skipped a beat as he stared down at the total. Speaking of lightning, he’d just been struck by a twenty-five thousand dollar volt. Dios mios, what the hell was he thinking? He didn’t even know her. They hadn’t even had sex, yet.

  He grabbed the ring out of the box, closed his eyes, and tried to kick start his logic. A million excited birds fluttered in his belly instead. He didn’t have to give it to her right way. He could hold onto it until the right moment—like before their wedding.

  An insane laugh burst out of him. “I’ve lost my mind. I’ve gone completely crazy.” He twirled a finger next to his head. “Loco!”

  The jeweler smiled and gave him a sympathetic nod. “Love makes everyone crazy.”

  32

  Andante

  “Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.”

  Soundtrack “Sacred Heart,” The Civil Wars

  After the show in Paris that night, Elias snuck into Effie’s room. “I have a surprise,” he whispered.

  “You do?” She leapt out of bed and did a split jump. “Goody, goody, gum drops!”

  “Shh!” He pressed a finger over his smile. “Follow me.”

  They tiptoed down the hall like thieves, freezing every time the wooden floor creaked. “Cover your eyes,” he said. “And don’t peek.” He led her inside his room. “Okay, now you can look.”

  Instant tears clogged her throat. A trail of fancy gift-wrapped chocolates, lollipops, and gummy bears led to the bed, where he’d fashioned a heart out of candied hearts.

  “It’s Candy Land,” he said.

  “It’s . . . magical.” She raised her nightie over her head and lay down buck-naked on the pile of candy. “Come here, Elvis.”

  He gave her a sly, sideways grin and crawled beside her.

  She stroked him through the fabric of his pajamas. “I want you so bad,” she murmured.

  He grabbed her ass with both hands and hauled her over him. “I want to taste your sweetness,” he said, then peeled her apart and licked a path down her center. “Mmm, you taste good.”

  He pinched her lips together and sucked and licked and massaged her into a frenzied state. Elias Lovaro clearly loved giving head. He savored the experience, drew it out, closed his eyes and moaned as if he were feasting on a gourmet meal. He was an oral sex aficionado—the God of Pussy Pleasure.

  She grabbed his hair and bucked on top of him, ecstasy rippling through her core. And right as she was about to come, he lifted her up and lightly flicked his tongue, teasing her to the brink of madness.

  Her clit throbbed as if it had its own heartbeat. “Oh my God!” She dropped back her head and cried out, “I can’t take it anymore. This is torture.”

  He smiled then dove his tongue inside her.

  She writhed and shook and begged him to do filthy things.

  Then he raised her up again and leisurely pumped a finger inside her.

  Panting and trembling, she reached back for his cock and stroked him, praying he’d pick up the pace.

  He grunted and buried his head between her thighs again. “Fuck my face, amor.”

  A thousand white stars exploded all at once, and she melted all over him.

  Then he went back for seconds. “That’s it come again, amor.”

  Elias Lovaro was the best high ever. He made her soul tingle.

  Not once did he push her for sex. He made it clear that night was all about her.

  Afterwards, they lay tangled up in a pile of candy, munching on chocolate and drawing on each other with licorice ropes.

  He captured a bit of caramel off her lip and sucked his finger clean. “You have the biggest smile on your face.”

  “This is my happy place.” She wiggled her toes. “Little squirrels live and play here.”

  “Bob Ross?” he asked.

  “Yep.”

  “Total genius.” He kissed her passionately. “Estoy loco por vos, mi amor.”

  “I don’t know what that means, but it sounds beautiful.”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  “I’m crazy about you, Elvis.”

  “Ha! That’s what I just told you.”

  “In Spanish?”

  “The exact same thing.” He folded her into his arms and instantly fell asleep.

  Later, she drifted off into Candy Land and dreamt she was Lolly and Elias was Lord Licorice, and close to the end of the game, she fell into the chocolate swamp and drowned.

  33

  Cadence

  Amsterdam, The Netherlands

  Soundtrack “Some Sunsick Day,” Morgan Delt

  The houseboat leaned dangerously to the left when they boarded. Inside, it smelled like a wet swimsuit stuck in a plastic bag for weeks.

  “I said houseboat,” Elias told Annie, “not a shipwreck.”

  “I had a coupon,” she said.

  “Of course you did,” he said. And with the Amsterdam Festival that weekend, and every hotel booked solid, they were stuck on that sinking ship the whole weekend.

  Elias stepped to the other side and the boat swayed with him.

  “We’re gonna die tonight,” Cato said.

  Griffin shouted from below deck. “There are no rooms down here, just bunk beds.”

  Elias turned to Annie with gritted teeth. “You!”

  “Wha?”

  He stabbed two fingers at her. “I’m onto you, old woman.”

  She stuck her nose in the air. “Ungrateful son.”

  Meanwhile, Effie had a ball pretending to be captain. She steered the big wooden wheel and talked on the broken CB radio. “We can cross another item off our bucket list.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Sailing.”

  “This isn’t sailing.”

  “Sure it is.” She flashed a sweet smile. “Just have to pretend.”

  He brushed his mouth against her ear. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Now?”

  “I’ll tell everyone I’m going for a run and then text you my location.”

  She tapped her nose and winked a few times. “Have fun on your run.”

  Thirty minutes later, an elderly woman, wearing a fanny pack and a shirt that said sexy grandma, sat next to him on the bench. The woman winked a blue eye at him. “How’d you like a little cougar action?”

  “Effie?”

  “What’s up, stud? What do you think of my disguise?”

  “I hate it.”

  She pushed out her bottom lip.

  He pinched it then kissed her.

  From under the bench, she pulled out a paper bag. “Go get changed, old man.”

  He peeked inside and groaned. “Oh, no.”

  She smiled and nodded. “Oh, yes. Come on. It’ll be fun.” She patted his leg. “Hurry, I’ve got another surprise for you.”

  “Can’t wait,” he said dryly.

  A few minutes later, he walked out of the café, wearing plaid
shorts with black socks, a grey mustache, and a baseball hat with a fake grey ponytail attached.

  “Sexy.” She hugged her stomach and laughed.

  He shook his head and followed her to a tandem bicycle chained to a rack.

  “Ready to ride this puppy?” She patted the seat.

  “Is it safe?”

  “Probably not. Front or back?”

  He rubbed his chin. “Back, so I can watch your butt.” He glanced down at her polyester pants and changed his mind. “On second thought.”

  “What? You don’t like my britches?” She bent over and twerked in the middle of the street.

  He just smiled and watched. Passersby probably thought she was convulsing.

  “Saddle up, stud.” She straddled the front seat.

  “Maybe we should take a lesson first,” he said, getting on the back.

  “Pfft.” She flopped a hand. “We’ve got this. But first we need a name for this bad boy.” She stroked the silver frame. “How about Lightning?”

  “Perfecto. On the count of three?” he asked.

  She honked the bike horn three times. They pedaled a few wobbly feet then crashed into a garbage can.

  “Whoops,” she said. “Sorry, that was my fault.” She got back on and honked the horn. “Ready?”

  “Not really,” he said.

  They made it around the block then crashed again. He picked up the bike and held it steady. “Think we’re getting the hang of it,” he said. “Tour de France, here we come.”

  The third time was a charm. “We’re doing it,” she cheered. “We’re riding a bike. Go team Love!”

  Over the bridges, down the tulip-lined cobblestone streets, in front of the crooked cartoon buildings, and alongside the murky canals, they rode Lightning at warp speed. With the wind in his hair and the sun smiling down on his face—he felt like a balloon soaring above the clouds.

  They ran over a bump and the gray bun in the back of her head bounced. “Whee!” She honked and waved at everyone.