Shattered Days (The Firsts Book 7)

by C. L. Quinn

  Shaking her head, Tamesine bit her lower lip hard enough to split it. “No. I didn’t remember any of this. None of it, Marc.”

  “Do ya want to hold her before I take her away?”

  Tamesine glanced at the baby in the old lady’s arms. She could just barely see her tiny face. For a moment, she considered it, desperately wanted to, but then she turned away.

  “No. Please, just take her.”

  “I should attend to you first.”

  “I will be fine. My kind are very capable. Just take her, I do not want to see her, please.”

  The old woman nodded.

  “Luck be with ya, then, dear girl. The couple that will take the child are well off. The baby will grow up well in polite society. Ye’ve done good.”

  After the woman took the newborn, Tamesine laid back, her eyes searching the empty space over her head. She wasn’t looking at anything, she was trying to understand the level of pain that crawled up from the pit of her gut.

  “I cannot care for a child, I cannot. I cannot go home. I have no home. I am lost. I am nobody.”

  That was when she began to weep, and it didn’t stop by the time the scene faded into a noisy, crowded pub.

  Marc’s heart was breaking as he watched the kind and beautiful woman at his side follow through the worst kind of luck in a life. She may be vampire, and nearly immortal, with incredible abilities, the most beautiful woman he’d ever known, but what he’d seen so far of her life, he wouldn’t wish for anyone.

  He knew now that his past was minor in comparison. He also knew he would be here for her no matter what.

  Tamesine stood beside Marc, watching herself in the scene before her, dancing on a tabletop, freezing men, and then having sex with them, just because she could.

  The woman she became took anything she wanted, and didn’t care who she hurt.

  She turned to Marc. “I don’t remember this either. I think my insanity began right after the child was born. It is apparent once I started to slip away, I just kept sliding. I don’t want to see any more. It gets uglier and uglier from here. What I remember of the last 500 years was narcissistic mania to find something, anything, that would bring me happiness, purpose, and I never did. I never fell in love because I never let anyone in. I hurt people, Marc, and some died. I was a vampire like you depict in your movies…a monster that used people, fed on them, sexed myself on them, and left them in the dust. I purged those horrible memories, and over time, I lost all reason. I’m not a good woman, Marc.”

  “You are a good woman. The mania is gone now, and although you don’t feel as if you’re completely whole yet, you aren’t insane anymore, are you?”

  “No, but…”

  “Don’t. Don’t tell yourself that the out-of-control woman you were during those times is who you are. The woman I know is calm, gentle, loving, kind. This is who you really are. Your sister was jealous of you because you are a beautiful person, and I’m not only talking about the beautiful blonde with incredible breasts standing here. The soul of you, the heart of you, that’s what I fell in love with, that’s who you are.”

  Fell in love with? Oh. God. That he believed in her, that this spectacular man could watch what she had become and still tell her that he loved her. He humbled her and he validated her.

  The journey was complete. The spirit guides returned them to the star-lit scene in the dreamscape.

  “You were a victim, Tam,” Marc said, his arms around her shoulders. “Because you were so powerful, it went really wrong. But anyone who experienced the extreme of betrayal and pain you did, would have been crazy. You’re okay, Tam. You have people who love you, and that can heal the world.”

  He was right. Tamesine had to admit that who she was now was definitely not the crazy woman they’d watched in her trip down psychotic memory lane.

  She now knew she was no danger to those she loved, she had total control over all of her actions. She could go home.

  When Tamesine and Marc woke the next day, he pulled her into his arms to kiss her thoroughly.

  “Hello, my beautiful lady,” he whispered into her hair.

  “Hello, my knight,” she answered back. “Thank you for helping me through that. I knew it would tear me apart, and it did, but you held me together.”

  “I always will, Tam. After all, we were put together by God, or the universe, fate, destiny, I don’t know and I don’t care. I just want to love you.”

  “I want to love you, too. Marc, why don’t you go back to your apartment and I’ll come as soon as it’s dark enough. I just need a few minutes alone to work things out in my mind.”

  “Of course. I’ll skedaddle. But don’t keep me waiting too long. I’m kind of addicted to you now.”

  He got up and dressed, and before he left, he looked back at her sitting on the big mattress, the sheet only partially pulled over her. Perfect, beautiful, his…

  Life might beat you up, but it was still the only game in town. You just had to go for it, to risk it, to hope, to dream.

  He had just started his shower, but when the knock on his door came, he wrapped the towel around his hips and went straight to it.

  The door opened wide, Tamesine took in the wet, nearly naked man, and smiled.

  “Wow, that’s the way to answer the door.”

  “Just for you,” Marc said and picked her up to carry her to the couch. He sat on the coffee table across from her, his knees apart, his hands on her knees, ready to slide up under her dress.

  “The question is, do I get dressed, or do you get undressed?”

  He’d learned a lot about her these past days of their intense relationship, and he could tell by her stiffness that something was going on.

  “Okay, I’m not a vampire, but I can still read you. What’s wrong? You’re lips are smiling, but the smile doesn’t reach your eyes.”

  “You’re right. We need to talk.”

  His heart froze in his chest.

  “O. Kay. Dear John letter, right?”

  “No. Absolutely not. It’s a Dear Marc, you are the most wonderful man I’ve ever met, letter. We were brought together to heal each other, and we’ve done so. You’ve risen to the occasion better than anyone would expect. Marc, you’ve discovered how strong and beautiful you are and that you have an amazing life ahead of you.”

  “I thought we had an amazing life ahead of us.”

  “That’s why I needed to see you. The vampire world is crazy, dangerous, and I still don’t know where I fit in with my new family. I don’t know my role when it comes to the first blood children, but things are changing for the first bloods. We don’t know what it is, but we all agree, it’s epic. You don’t deserve to be thrown into the middle of all of that. We were brought together to heal, and we’ve done so. Marc, you need to go home to live the life you were meant to live. I saw the look in your eyes when you were with the girl back home in Wisconsin. Is Gina your soulmate? Maybe, maybe not, but you deserve the chance to find out.”

  “No.”

  Marc stood and walked away from the couch. He kept his back to Tamesine. “My life changed the moment I left for Afghanistan. There’s no going back. Who I was is gone, and who I am is a man ready to love you. Through all of it.”

  “I don’t want you to.”

  He turned then, tugging at the knot on the towel. “You don’t love me?”

  With a long sigh, Tamesine stood. “That’s just the thing, Marc. I don’t know what I want. Do I love you? I think I do. But my needs can’t matter here, only yours. I still come back to what makes the most sense. I think I was brought to you to give you back your life. Like Lazlo, I’m willing to sacrifice my own feelings for what will make you happiest. Family, a wife, children, all the things human beings live for. The things that makes all of this matter. I can’t take that away from you.”

  Her eyes lifted to his. “Marc, look at me.”

  He trusted her completely, so he did.

  “I am doing this for you. Please sit down on t
he couch,” she compelled, placing him under her influence.

  Marc walked over and sat on the couch.

  Reversing their positions, Tamesine sat on the coffee table.

  “Marc, after your shower, you will call Joe and tell him you appreciate all he’s done for you, but that you’re going home. You will pack up, and go home to Waukesha. Live your life the way you want to when you get there, call your old friends, find fulfilling work. Look up Gina and see if you two still have a relationship. Be happy.”

  This was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done. Placing her hands on his face, she let her fingers move across his eyes, down along the side of his nose, and over his lips.

  “You are so beautiful. I wish I could let you remember me, but… It isn’t fair to you. Marc, once I walk out of this apartment, you will forget you ever met me. You will forget the vampire world or that supernatural beings exist at all. You will forget the abduction and anything that had to do with it. Marc, all you want to do is to go home and live your life to its fullest. Make Lazlo proud. Honor your brothers-in-arms.”

  Tamesine leaned in and kissed him. “I’ll miss you.”

  She got up quickly and headed for the door, but once her hand was on the doorknob, she paused. She didn’t look back, but couldn’t make herself move forward either.

  It’s almost done, she told herself. Let him go home, and you can go home too. This spirit journey is over.

  Turning the doorknob, she opened the door just wide enough to get through it, and closed it firmly behind her.

  He didn’t hear her sob or see her tears as he walked slowly into the bathroom, dropped the towel, and stepped under the sprays of water. Suddenly, he was thinking of home.

  Tamesine stood outside of Frank’s Place. Frank was behind the counter, grinning at a customer, a waitress behind him turned around and smiled up at him as she carried a plate away.

  All was as it should be. She’d miss him, but he belonged exactly where he was.

  “Thank you,” she whispered to the universe for protecting him for her. She was done here.

  TWENTY-TWO

  Ahmose had failed. Lamont and Claude were gone. He’d hired a team of thirty local professionals and there was no clue as to where they had gone. It appeared the fight would not end today.

  Disappointed, exhausted, he called Koen to let him know.

  “We shut down that facility, as you asked. Nothing remains. But the two men we sought have escaped again. Koen, this is unacceptable. It’s a big world and it seems he has endless resources.”

  “He’ll fuck up and we’ll get him. Until then, we’re vigilant and on guard all of the time. I have a request, my brother. We would like to take the children to Zambia. There cannot be a safer place on earth for them right now.”

  “You are always welcome, any member of your family, and especially the children. Just let Chione know and she will make all of the arrangements.”

  “Thank you, Ahmose. Do you come home now?”

  “Soon. This has been overwhelming, and I have never been to California before. I thought I might stay and enjoy the Pacific Ocean for a few days while I am here.”

  “Windari had a vampire-prepared beach house that will be perfect for a vacation. I will text an address.”

  “Vacation. It is an alien word to me. I have not taken a break from my people or duties in six centuries.”

  “Brother, everyone needs to recharge. You carry a lot of responsibility. Take the time, stay, relax, return to Africa a new man.”

  Ahmose looked at the text Koen had sent and nodded. This he would do. The beach house was only a short distance by car and he could make it by daybreak. He admitted that Koen was right, he did need time off from his usual concerns. A vacation was welcome.

  After filling his car with a variety of prepared foods and wine, he followed the GPS to the beach house left abandoned after they had captured Windari months ago.

  In the quiet car, he thought how nice it would be to just drop everything…everything, for a few days…and just breathe.

  Taggert walked easily through the hallways of Lamont’s London facility. Looking around, the place was all shiny and brand-new, and he thought that this might be Lamont’s final location. If the vampires destroyed it, the two vampire-wannabes would have nowhere else to go to ground.

  He’d followed Claude to the private jet when he left the facility several nights earlier, hoping to find out where Claude was holding Marc. At the time, he’d been certain that Marc was on the plane, so he’d slipped aboard, avoiding Claude. When he verified that Marc wasn’t, he’d been upset. Since then, he had been grateful to find out that the vampires had destroyed the L.A. warehouse, and rescued Marc.

  Only Claude and Lamont knew that he no longer believed in the mission, and that his sympathies lie with the supernatural world. He just needed to avoid them. He was more effective like this than he would be outside of the organization. So he stayed and kept an eye on Lamont and Claude’s exploits.

  Soon, he would be able to call the vampires in to finish this, and he’d be done with all of it as well.

  He had no idea where he’d go from there.

  IN SOUTHERN FRANCE

  Daniel held his son, both of them satiated from first meal, as he relaxed on the second floor balcony, the fresh sea air pleasantly cool in the early summer warmth. Caedmon was babbling on about something Cairine had done last night, but Daniel was only partially listening. He watched Tamesine running along the beach with her golden retrievers, the only link she had to her life before she came to live in the villa.

  He was amazed at her easy smile now. Whatever she’d been seeking when she left here three months ago, she had found.

  When Eillia and Park had brought the insane woman into their home nearly a year ago and placed her in the bedroom suite next to theirs, he’d been horrified. But Eillia had assured him that it was going to be all right. No matter how much he trusted his mate, Daniel hadn’t believed it.

  But she was right. Something had happened with Tamesine and Marc in L.A. and although he didn’t know the details, she had returned a different woman. More than anyone, Daniel understood how life tore you up, how choices made, and the consequences, can haunt and break you.

  Tamesine had been so badly damaged for such a long time, he would have bet that she could never find her way back from the darkness. Now, though, he barely recognized the troubled woman she’d been. The only time he thought he saw even a spark of insanity was when she was giggling with the children, and he knew that was because she’d lost her own youth and it was a kind of insane joy bubbling up.

  Caedmon slipped off of Daniel’s lap and ran over to the railing.

  “Tam, Tam,” he said, as he peeked through the ornate iron stiles because he wasn’t tall enough to reach the top.

  “She’ll be back, monkey,” Daniel assured him. “Come here and I’ll see if mommy can bring us some ice-cream cones.”

  Caedmon smiled at his father, looked back down at Tamesine holding her skirt clear of the waters as the dogs ran circles around her, and then toddled back to Daniel.

  “Happy,” he said.

  Daniel watched him for a moment, trying to read the boy, but his skills in that department were still unreliable. He wished he knew what destiny had designed for these first blood children and their deep connection to Tamesine.

  “Time will answer that, sweetie.”

  Eillia handed him a double scoop of chocolate ice cream as she walked out onto the edge of the balcony.

  “She does look happy.” Turning to pick up her son, who wanted to share her vanilla ice-cream-cone, she leaned against the railing. “And she is. But she’s also grieving.”

  “She misses her soldier.”

  “She does. I understand why she chose to send him home, more than anyone, because that’s what I did to you.”

  “I’m forever grateful that you changed your mind. Nothing in my life could have prepared me for your vampire world, and I
wouldn’t have wanted to miss any moment of my life with you and this child. If she loves him, she should give him the chance to choose as you did with me. Her relationship with Marc, it’s kind of the same as yours and mine back in Bali.”

  Eillia was silent as she concentrated on Caedmon and a now dripping cone. Her eyes moved up to Daniel, suddenly serious and intense.

  “What?” he asked quietly.

  “More than you know.”

  They just looked at each other without speaking.

  “Wow,” Daniel said, moments later.

  “Yes. She hasn’t told me yet, but I know. I recognize the symptoms.”

  “What do you think she’s going to do?”

  Eillia shook her head. “I don’t know. Oh, Caed, you silly goose. Here, take it. Make your mess.” She handed the rest of the cone to her little boy, who dropped down onto the deck and buried his tongue in the slick, cold mess.

  Glancing back down at the beach, she pushed away from the rail. “I’m going to talk with her. You boys are on your own.”

  “By that you mean I have clean-up.”

  “I always said you were the genius in the family.”

  As she passed him, Eillia kissed Daniel’s sticky lips.

  The surf was high tonight, a full moon played with the oceans roaring water as Tamesine fought to keep her skirt dry. It was useless, so she let the tail drop and allowed the cold sea to tug on the thin fabric.

  She sighed. This, the soft nights, the brilliant moon, playing with these pups, she’d missed. Tamesine had lived around the entire globe through a thousand years, and nothing had ever felt like home more than this five story villa cut into a cliff here in the Orientale’s.

  Eillia was making her way down the path towards her. Tamesine loved everyone in this household. Now, with her mind clear, she realized her fortune in finding a home here with people who she thought were learning to love her too.