Will. Time. Fate.

by Andrew Yake

  “I did it!” He says with a deeper and huskier voice as he turns toward me. My eyes go down to his privates, but they are covered in fur. I can make out where they are and see the outline, but the hair is masking the majority of the show. I am not sure how I feel about that. I am turned on, but at the same time I don’t like that I am turned on. This feels wrong somehow. Whatever, freaking hormones!

  “Try on the pants you were wearing if you can. They are the military kind so they have tabs on the side to let out the size of the waistline.” I point down where he dropped his pants.

  “Now you tell me?” He snarls slightly. It sounds kind of funny to me and I giggle again. Sometimes I hate being a girl with girlish sounds. I watch as he bends down and pulls his pants on. They are tight and he does not seem all the comfortable. I walk over and find the next size up from the shelf of clothing. I hand it to him after pulling the tabs out so that the pants are completely loose. He tries them on and grins. “Perfect!” He smiles at me. I reach over and grab one of the largest black button up military tops that are meant to go over the tee-shirts. Zack just looks at me as if I am crazy. “My arms will not fit in there.”

  “Rip off the arms then. Just do it along the seam.” I hand him the top. He gives a slight tug and there is a ripping sound as the first sleeve comes off. He repeats the process with the second sleeve. “Now put it on.” He does this and looks surprised at how easily it goes on. The black top goes well with the green pants. I grab a pair of dark tan leather boots that look like they will fit his bigger feet. He slides his feet into them, trying to be careful not to rip the leather with his toenails.

  “I’m not sure about the boots, but the rest is good.” Zack’s rough voice still sounds funny to me.

  I step back and regard him. “Now try changing back.”

  Within a moment I see him shrink in size. His pants are now too big, but he quickly grabs the tabs and pulls them tight so that the pants do not fall down. Again, I am fighting with my hormones. The open button up top is showing of his very toned body and I can see the trail of hair along his navel that leads down to the top of his pants. Yummy. Oh man, what the hell is wrong with me? Now is not the time for this. I cannot help it. I find that I am hoping that his pants fall. They do not. I am disappointed. He, on the other hand, looks pleased.

  “Cool.” He shifts forms again and releases the tabs so that the pants fit as he grows in size extremely fast. Just as fast, he shifts back to his normal size. “I think I have a handle on this.” Zack says as he smiles at me.

  “See, now you have something to practice. Hey why don’t you see how comfortable you are wielding a gun or sword or something. While you are in that other form.” I suggest this as I walk over to my books and take a seat. I hear Zack taking some steps over toward one of the dismembered vampires and picking up a short sword off the floor. I can hear him swinging it around in the air and snarling as he seems to be practice fighting non-existent foes.

  I return my attention to a book that is discussing how to create a trap for the mind. Essentially, the idea is that the person becomes trapped in a dream state. I can tell that I can make it pleasant or painful. I see a third possibility that is not in the book. Like I said, I think fast and I have a steep learning curve. I consider linking the spell to their own life force. This will accomplish two things. One, I know that it will last longer and not require as much of my energy. Two, the dream state will be tied to their own insecurities and the longer the spell is active the more it will drain them and start devolving into a nightmare. I like this option and begin making the spell alterations. I start burning it into my mind to be able to cast it with a single word on a moment’s notice.

  I complete this task and take a short rest. I feel ready, but I also feel tired. I let my eyes wander over to Zack. I watch as he twists and jumps into the air swinging his blade. I see little droplets of blood fly off the blade as is swishes through the air. He continues to thrust and swing the blade. I find that I enjoy watching him flex his muscles as he does his acrobatic exercise in this form. The clothing moves with him and the top is unbuttoned and flows around his chest with his movement. I watch as he practices going from his human form into this strange wolf hybrid form while in midair swinging his blade. I close my eyes for a moment to rest them. I listen as he continues to practice.

  I hear the metal door behind me open and I hear three sets of foot steps behind me. My eyes open and I quickly turn to see who is with Jane and Alex. Eli has walked out with them. He looks around the room and seems to not enjoy the bloody ambiance. Either that, or he can somehow tell that we have killed some of his friends, or something. Eli’s eyes come to rest on me.

  “Hello witch.” Eli is addressing me. I had not thought of myself as a witch, but I guess if the shoe fits…

  “Hi E. How’s it hangin’?” I smile and wink at him. He sighs in response.

  “Alright, you guys ready?” Alex looks at me and then over to Zack. Zack stops swinging the blade and shifts back to his human form. He walks over and smiles. Alex walks over to a key pad and punches in a number and rests his human hand on a scanning pad. The floor starts to separate in one section and one of the racks that has weapons and tactical apparel rises from the floor. It stops with a hiss and click. Alex walks over and grabs a short sword with a scabbard and hands it to Zack. “Try this one I think it will suit you better.” He then turns and grabs a black vest that has lots of clips and buckles. It has a place for a gun and rounds along the right side of it. “Put this on.” Zack takes it and slides it on over his sleeveless top. Alex watches and then goes to assist him by clipping the sword and scabbard to the vest. His metal arm touches Zack’s arm. The touch of the metal on Zack’s exposed arm causes him to jerk back in pain.

  “Ouch!” Zack starts rubbing his arm where the metal had touched him.

  “Sorry about that.” Alex does not sound sincere in his apology. He starts attaching things to the vest again. He then grabs a sawed-off shotgun from the rack and puts it into the holster on the vest and puts some rounds for it in the vest. “This is simple.” Alex is now facing Zack and his tone seems to suggest he is not sure if Zack understands what ‘simple’ is. I hate the way he talks down to Zack. “This is a point and shoot. There are only two shots in it at a time. When the two shots are over you open the barrel and the two empty rounds will pop out. Then put in two more and close the barrel and you are good to go. Got it?” Zack simply nods and looks slightly annoyed to be talked down to, but he does not say anything to talk back to Alex.

  “What do you want?” Alex turns to me.

  I had not considered it, but I suppose it would be good to be armed with something other than my spells and my incredible wit. “Uh, how about one of those point and shoot things.” I point to the gun that Zack has strapped on him. “But I am not sure if I fully understand how it works. Do you have anything that is simple for a little girl like me?” My sarcasm mixed with my mock babyish voice is an obvious slam on how he had just talked to Zack. This earns me a stern look from Jane and Alex alike. Eli simply looks amused. I stand up and walk over to the rack and put on a similar vest and arm myself instead of allowing Alex to dress me. I see a very nice-looking knife with a ten-inch blade and clipped it to my vest.

  Jane had made her way over to the section of the rack with ammunition and was putting rounds into the clip of her silver gun. She then put the clip back into her gun and grabbed five more clips that were the same size. They already had rounds in them. She simply slid them into the slots she had available on her belt. I watched as Jane picked up a katana that had a rubberized looking handle and no hilt. She motioned for Alex to come over and he helped her connect it to her back in such a way that she could easily pull it from the sheath. I doubt that I would be able to pull off something like that. Jane is way taller than I am. Alex armed himself similarly to Jane. Eli simply looked bored as he waited for us to finish.

  Once everyone was ready, Alex motioned to the opposite side of
the room. It was not where we had entered and I became curious. The room was big, but I did not recall seeing an exit on that side of the room when we came down here. Then again, I wasn’t paying attention that much when I first came down here. Hell, I had been out of it. We follow Alex to the far side of the huge room. It is much cleaner here, because there is a lack of blood and body parts. Alex puts his metal hand into what appears to be a large crack in the concrete block wall. The back side of the room disappears. I realize that there was no wall there. It was an illusion like the doorway in the hall.

  There is a black military Hummer sitting there. The style is older and boxy. I do not see the attraction, but this guy seems to be big on the whole military stuff, so it makes sense that he would basically have a freaking batcave complete with a fancy armored vehicle. Boys and their toys. Well, it beats the heck out of walking. We all pile into the vehicle. I, mysteriously enough, happen to get seated right next to Zack. I have no idea how that happened, I swear. I cannot help looking at Zack’s toned muscular arms and smell his musk. Damn, what the HELL!?

  I look away and scan the outside of the vehicle for Alex. Before Alex gets in, he touches along the surface of the wall and the room we were just in disappears from view. I have to admit that is really cool! I watch as Alex gets into the driver’s seat. His bulky frame makes the vehicle sink slightly as he sits and closes the door. He starts the engine and starts driving through the dark tunnel. I had never considered that there would be a tunnel wide enough for a truck under the city. I wonder if this is an old train tunnel. I keep my thoughts to myself. The rest of the vehicle is silent as we drive.

  24

  Battle and Balance

  War is ugly. It is painful. It is frightening. It is unfair to those on the battle field and those who are impacted by its wrath. The struggle of war and balance is not one that lends itself to the concept of what is fair. It is an unfortunate reality of things. It can grow to massive proportions like a wildfire and burn out quickly. It can burn cold and long and last for hundreds of years. It can come out as hate crimes or sexist ideals. War happens. It is an expression of balance. It is a tenuous connection, but it is there. War is, in itself, an expression of imbalance with the struggle to balance the wrongs that are perceived by the powers that are on any given side of the forces involved. Each battle waged in the course of a war is a gust of balancing force in the chaos of war.

  It’s a funny thing. I mean if you think about it, the idea of balance simply means that two opposing sides are equally weighted. What happens when that is not the case? Glad you asked. There is an imbalance. That imbalance can come out in many different ways. You can see it all over the place. In nature where there is an imbalance you can see a storm. The pressure systems build up and there you have it. Rain, sleet, or snow come down and poor postman has to get wet and possibly cold.

  What is my point? Glad you asked. In any great story there is an ultimate striving for balance. One of those ultimate things in life, as in a good story, is the balance of good and evil, right and wrong, sexy and grandma. Here is the thing about this type of balance. It is complete crap! It is all subjective and perception. If a storm happens I could say that it is a good thing. You could say that it is a bad thing. It depends on the context that it takes place in and our perception on that context.

  When we go to war, it is usually not the soldiers who are deciding what is good, bad, right, wrong, or even best for that country. True, they may believe in the cause that they are fighting for, but that’s not always the case. It is about the powers that are in charge arguing with each other. It doesn’t really solve anything and usually only proves who is left. That doesn’t mean that I don’t think that war is bad or that fighting for what one believes in is wrong. No, I think that it can be very noble to do these things. Here is the catch, you have every right to think that I am absolutely crazy for thinking the way that I do. You have every right to agree with me. You have every right to protest my use of my power. And, when you do, you create a balance against my power. See how nicely that works out?

  I sit in my room. Here I am safe and comfortable. I have seen many battles and waged many wars. Many of which have started as an internal struggle. Many have ended as an external struggle after I have decided that action has needed to take place. I contemplate what has been set into motion. I consider the beginnings of time and space and see a world of infinite possibilities, but I do not like all of the outcomes. I decide, once again, that it is time for change. My internal struggle is external. I will lay out a path for my will on this place. Each part that is and has been played must be done of the person’s free will. I lay a path that only leaves viable options that lead to my will.

  I believe in free will and desire it for all of creation. Yes, I said creation. I have seen enough to know that random chaos is not a viable option in battle or in the intricacies of life. I have a deeper understanding of these things. I am not a god, and I have no doubt that there is a higher power at work. Once I figure out how it works, I will bend it to my will also, so that I may understand it and it understand me. There is an opposing balancing force to my desire and it has cost me my ability to believe in linear order. That is why I am here, talking to you. I am fully aware that I am only telling one side of this idea of balance and power. I know that it is unfair to suggest you only take my ideas into account. There are always two sides to any story of struggle and when my opposition gets around to telling his side of things you may have the opposing view.

  I stare at the white walls of my small room. The walls are solid, but I can see that they were not always here. I can see through this tangible nature and I pull back to see their purpose. They are here to provide a balance and a boundary. There must be boundaries. Every will, every power, needs to have these boundaries. There is an imbalance in this city and I must correct it. I contemplate these things as you have contemplated them. I think of them in the same way you see your daily struggle with a boss, parent, teacher, friend, lover, or yourself.

  Who am I? I don’t know better than you. Like I said, you are welcome to keep me in balance with an opposing belief. So, who am I? I am a no one with a name that only has a designation for this time and place. I am Matt. I may tell you how I came to be at some point. I may tell you about my life instead of the lives of those I have laid my will upon, but now is not that time. I hear someone opening the door to my room.

  “Matt it’s time to take your meds.” There is a stocky man with short brown hair and a white clinical uniform. This is one of the many orderlies that keep me stable in this place. I like him. His name is Matt too. I do not find it to be a coincidence because I have set things into motion so that I can surround myself with grounding stimuli. My counselor agrees that this is best for me right now.

  So, I take my meds and thank this man. Now let’s go check in on the things I have set into motion. I have high hopes that this time, it will work out and the balance will return.

  ******

  Zack:

  I am happy to be on the streets again. Being underground was bothersome for me. I am happy to be out of the room where I lost control and tore people apart. I watch as we pass under the illumination of the street lamps. There is no such thing as a dark road in New York. I look around and see that Allison keeps looking over at me. I can smell that she is sexually attracted to me. I do enjoy the attention, but I am already in love with Hailey. That is, if she is still Hailey. The smell that she had was hers, but also like Benny and the attackers that I ripped apart. I am sure that she is a vampire now. I have no idea what that means for us, but I am willing to find out.

  I am grateful when the vehicle comes to a stop in a parking garage across from our destination. The cool air on my naked arms will feel good. Allison opens the door and I feel the blast of cold air. It exhilarates my senses.

  “Stay close and keep quiet. We don’t know exactly what to expect.” Alex speaks calmly as we get out of the Hummer.

  Eli smiles as he loo
ks around at the nearly empty garage. Eli and I seem to both enjoy the ambient sounds of the city. There are cars on the streets and there are people on the streets. He looks to Alex and nods and turns to leave. I am curious about where he is going, but say nothing. I glance over to where I see him walking and see two figures step out of the shadows to greet him. Then they seem to blur for a moment as they run. They are all gone from sight.

  “You ready?” Alex looks at me and then walks to the back of the Hummer and opens the back hatch.

  “I think so.” I am not totally sure of my answer, but I know that I am as ready as I can be with the minimal preparation time.

  “Here.” Alex toss me a long black coat made of some very thick cotton or nylon material that covers my vest and comes to my knees in length. I put it on. It feels heavy, but comfortable. He tosses the same type of coat to Allison and Jane. He puts one on and then puts on black gloves. He appears to be completely normal, large, but normal. Any person looking at him would think that he is just a muscle bound Pilipino with regular muscular arms. He closes the coat enough to hid the weaponry that he is carrying. I do the same. I see that Jane and Allison have followed suit. We begin walking out of the garage.

  ******

  Jane:

  I am grateful for the extra covering. It is cold out here and I am not exactly keen on walking on the streets of this city as heavily armed as I am. True, there are fewer people out than the last time I was out here, but I don’t think that it would be a good idea to draw lots of attention to ourselves. Plus, I am sure that they will have cameras in this building and I don’t think that we want to announce our presence just yet. I take a cigarette out from the pack I took off of Benny and light it.