Wedding Cake Crumble

by Jenn McKinlay

  Collectively, the crowd turned from Elise to the angry woman and back. It was a volley of accusations and insults and no one wanted to miss a single serve.

  “I’m guessing that woman is the one Elise’s husband left her for,” Angie said out of the corner of her mouth so that only Mel could hear.

  “I’d say that’s a safe bet,” Mel said.

  Cassie stepped forward as if she thought she might need to restrain Elise from doing a stage dive to get to the other woman.

  “Ladies, this is not the appropriate forum for this discussion,” Cassie said. The words were right, but her voice lacked the authority to subdue the two angry women.

  “This is my book signing. If you don’t want to hear what I have to say, I suggest you leave, Mallory.” Elise said the name with venomous relish.

  “Wow, she really hates her,” Ray observed.

  “I will not leave.” Mallory stomped her foot.

  She looked to be about the same age as Mel and Angie, but she was definitely the sort of woman who was used to being pampered. Her hair and skin looked like they’d just been polished at a spa, her clothes were haute couture, but there was no air of having a job or responsibilities or of being accountable or work-weary coming off of her.

  Elise writing about her unfavorably was probably the worst thing that had ever happened to Mallory, and the most infuriating part of the whole thing was likely the fact that there was nothing she could do about it. The anxiety on her face was almost comical.

  “Sweetie, you have two choices. You can kick up a fuss and I’ll have security escort you out of the building or you can sit there and listen to my book talk like a grown-up,” Elise said.

  Mallory pushed her way out of her row so that she stood in the middle of the central aisle. She wore a pink micro minidress that hugged her curves and ended about an inch below her bottom. Beige platform sandals added a half foot to each of her legs, making her taller than average. She glared at Elise, tipped up her chin, and planted her hands on her hips in a defiant stance.

  “Make me.”

  Angie made a gurgling sound in her throat as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

  Elise waved a hand at the security men, stationed by the main doors. Mel hadn’t noticed them before but now she wondered if they had anticipated some trouble since Elise’s book was known for being a thinly veiled portrayal of all the dish found in the Palms neighborhood, including her ex-husband’s affair with a much younger woman, aka Mallory.

  “You wouldn’t dare!” Mallory cried.

  “Oh, wouldn’t I?” Elise asked. The smile she turned on Mallory was pure malice. “After you ruined my marriage, stole my life, and made me a pariah in my own neighborhood, why wouldn’t I?”

  She nodded and the security team surged forward. Mallory let out a squeal and broke into a run headed right for the cupcake towers. The look in her eye was one of pure spite and Mel knew exactly what she was thinking. She was going to destroy the cupcakes to get revenge on Elise.

  “Oh, hell no,” Angie cried.

  She turned to bolt around the tables while Mel stood paralyzed as she watched hours of work swing in the balance of one woman’s cupcake-icidal rage.

  Mallory was three yards out with the security team hot on her high heels when a tackle came from the side and she was sent crashing to the floor by a blur in a black leather jacket.

  Mel rose up on her tiptoes to peer over the table. Sure enough, Ray had taken the woman out but had gallantly spun his body so that she landed on top of him.

  “Nice one, Bro!” Angie leaned over her brother and lifted up his hand to give it a solid high five.

  “Ugh,” Ray grunted.

  Mallory used her elbows to his midsection to push her way to her feet. She was disheveled and wobbly and the security guards grabbed her by the arms before she could get away.

  Elise had left the platform and was striding down the middle aisle, looking like she was taking a victory lap. It was very clear who was on whose turf now, and she seemed to be relishing it.

  She leaned close, putting her heavily made-up face right in Mallory’s fresh one and said, “Escort her from the premises.”

  “Mallory! Elise! What the hell is going on?” A man in a suit and tie charged into the room. His thinning gray hair was styled up in spikes as if to hide the pink skin of his balding skull, his middle-aged paunch hung out over his belt, and he was huffing and puffing as if running into the conference room from the front desk was more of a workout than he was used to.

  “The ex?” Angie mouthed to Mel from across the table. Mel shrugged, but it seemed likely.

  One of the security guards helped Ray to his feet. Ray brushed his clothes off, not that they needed it, and stepped back. He resumed his sentry position with his arms crossed over his chest and a forbidding look on his face.

  “Your child bride crashed my book signing,” Elise said. She gave Mallory a scathing glance. “Funny, I didn’t think she was old enough to drive.”

  There were a few laughs from the crowd and a corner of Elise’s mouth lifted. She was drawing strength from the people who had come to see her.

  “Elise, that is beneath you,” her ex-husband said.

  “Really, Todd?” she asked. “The whole reason we’re divorced is because she was beneath you.”

  “Do something!” Mallory stomped her foot and glared at her husband.

  “That’s right,” Elise goaded the couple. “The new Mrs. Cavendish wants you to contain the former one. Too bad you have absolutely no power over me. None. I’m Elise Penworthy now and I can do and say whatever I want, and I want to tell everyone exactly what a pitiful, middle-aged cliché you are.”

  Mallory growled and Todd’s face turned bright red. Todd Cavendish made a valiant effort to wrestle back his dignity by casting a withering glance at Elise, but it was nullified by his thinning hair, potbelly, and the furious glare being directed at him by his new wife, who was easily less than half his age.

  “I had no idea you were so classless,” Todd said. He sniffed as if he felt he was above a sordid scene.

  “Says the man who married a girl still wearing a school uniform every day,” Elise snapped. “Was it the pigtails, the plaid skirt, or the knee socks that got your . . . um . . . attention? Really, we all want to know.”

  “I’m going to slap her so hard,” Mallory howled. She shook off the security guard still holding her and took a step towards Elise.

  “No, you’re not,” Todd said. He grabbed his young wife’s arm and marched her towards the door.

  Elise raised her hand in a wave and cried, “That’s right, it’s a school night. You really should be tucking her into bed. Toodles.”

  “This isn’t over, Elise!” Todd yelled. “I will sue you for slander, libel, malicious intent—”

  “Blah, blah, blah,” Elise said. “If you don’t mind, I have an event here.” She waved her hand in the direction of the exit.

  Todd dragged his wife through the door, slamming it behind him so hard it rattled in its frame.

  “Well, that was delicious!” Elise turned to the crowd with a big grin. She was still standing in the middle of the aisle and she walked the length of the room, shaking hands and accepting congratulations. At the end of the rows, she paused to glance at the cupcake towers and then at Angie and Mel.

  “Those are spectacular,” she said. “Thank you for making them on such short notice.”

  Mel blinked. After Elise’s attack on Mallory, she hadn’t expected her to notice them or their cupcakes, much less show appreciation for their hard work.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  Elise gave her a small nod and then glanced down at Mel’s left hand, where Joe’s ring sparkled. “You’re getting married?”

  “Eventually,” Mel said. She gestured at Angie. “But her big day is in a
week.”

  Elise turned to look at Angie. She opened her mouth to say something then paused. She pressed her lips together, and then, as if she just couldn’t stop herself, she said, “You might want to run while you can. If you step back and look at it, marriage really isn’t in the best interest of the woman.”

  Mel’s gaze darted to Angie. This could go very wrong very quickly. To her surprise, Angie smiled at Elise and it was genuine.

  “No offense, but judging by what you married, I don’t think the problem is with marriage so much as groom selection,” she said. “Don’t you worry about me, I picked a perfectly ripe melon and I thumped a lot of them before I found him.”

  Elise stared at her for a beat and then tipped her head back and laughed. Mel felt herself sag in relief.

  “Angie!” Ray shouted. He looked horrified. “Don’t say that in front of me.”

  Elise glanced between them and Angie explained, “Brother.”

  “Ah,” Elise said. She moved over to stand beside Ray and said, “And he’s a nice defensive end, too.”

  She patted Ray’s behind, and Mel almost choked on her own laughter when Ray went up on his toes and turned as red as a stalk of rhubarb. Elise winked at him. She glanced at the table again.

  “I like you cupcake bakers,” she said. She turned to go back to her seat, but then turned back and looked at Angie and said, “Good luck on your marriage. Word of advice? Never let him forget how lucky he is to have you.”

  “No worries there,” Angie promised.

  A look of understanding passed between them, and Mel felt oddly left out. She was getting married, too, after all. Didn’t she warrant some special advice from the author? Clearly not. Huh. She shrugged it off as she settled in to listen to the rest of Elise’s talk.

  The audience was on the edge of its seat, eager to listen to Elise dish the dirt on her former friends and neighbors, even though she was careful not to use real names and she repeatedly insisted that it was all fiction, made up when she found herself dumped, divorced, and desperate.

  No one believed her. The question-and-answer portion was mostly pleas for Elise to name names, but she dodged the requests with a wink and a shrug. When Cassie announced it was time for Elise to sign books, the horde turned its attention on the waiting cupcake towers.

  Mel and Angie handed out cupcakes while Ray stood behind them glowering. More than one woman took a look at him and changed course to get in line to have her book signed instead of risk being tackled by the big, brawny, leather-clad bruiser.

  “Ray,” Mel hissed.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Take a walk,” she said.

  “What?”

  “You heard me,” she said. “You’re scaring the customers. Go scout the perimeter or something.”

  “I’m not supposed to take my eyes off of Angie,” he said.

  “So, keep your eyes on me from over there,” Angie said. “Seriously, you’re killing the cupcake-loving vibe.”

  “Fine,” he agreed. “But I’m going to be right there.” He pointed one stubby finger at the side of the room. He scanned the crowd and his voice boomed when he added, “Still in tackling range.”

  Angie rolled her eyes but the ladies looked collectively relieved to have Ray away from the table. Cupcake distribution swiftly picked up its pace after that.

  A few cupcakes were left and Mel boxed them up for Cassie and Elise to enjoy after the event.

  Cassie was standing beside Elise, opening the books to their title page for Elise to sign. The line was still pretty deep, but Mel wanted to say good-bye to Cassie before they left.

  Ray was hauling the decorative towers they had used for their cupcakes to the van, refusing to let Mel or Angie set one foot outside of the resort without security.

  “Cassie, we’re going to head out,” Mel said. “But I thought you’d like to keep the leftover cupcakes.”

  Cassie glanced up from the pile of books she was managing. She gave Mel a big smile and gestured to a resort staff person who’d been helping with the line to take over opening the books for the customers.

  “Thank you so much,” Cassie said, and she took the cupcakes. “Elise and I will enjoy these back at my townhouse with some champagne when we toast the success of this event.”

  Mel glanced at the line that wound down the wall. There was no doubt, Elise was well on her way to being a bestselling author.

  “Enjoy them,” Mel said. “And if you ever need us to fill in again—”

  “Don’t you worry,” Cassie said. “After this you’re back to being my go-to bakery. Such a tragedy about Brianna at the Cake Stop.” Cassie lowered her voice. “She wasn’t my first pick but Elise wanted her because anyone who lives in the Palms orders their cakes from her.”

  Mel tipped her head. She knew Brianna, only in passing, but she knew her. She’d always thought she was a nice hardworking baker, even though her cake had always seemed a bit dry.

  “What happened to Brianna?” she asked. “Why did she have to cancel?”

  “She didn’t cancel,” Elise said. “You didn’t hear? I thought for sure it would have been murmured through the bakery network. Brianna was found dead in her kitchen. Apparently, there was a gas leak from her oven. Can you imagine?”

  “No,” Mel said. She felt queasy. “I can’t.”

  “Elise, can I have just one more picture?” A photographer stepped in front of the next person in line and held his camera up.

  Mel glanced at Angie to see if this was making her think of Blaise. Judging by the sad look on her face, it was.

  “I’m telling you,” Cassie said, “I am so relieved by the turnout tonight. Everything was going to heck in a handbasket this week and I was sure we were doomed. But thanks to you and James”—she paused to point to the photographer—“we managed to pull it out.”

  Mel felt her heart thump hard in her chest. What were the odds? She had to ask.

  “Is James filling in for someone?” she asked.

  “Yes, we originally had Blaise Ione booked to take the event photos. He and Elise go way back,” Cassie said. “He took her author pictures and the cover photo on the book, you know.”

  “I didn’t.” Mel’s voice was breathy, and not in a good way, but rather in the way that happens right before a fainting spell.

  Mel reached out and grabbed Cassie’s arm to steady herself. This was too weird to be a coincidence. Way too weird. She turned to see if Angie had heard, but Angie was watching Elise talk to the next woman in line.

  “Hello, dear, would you like the book personalized or just a signature?” Elise asked.

  The woman in line grinned at Elise and said, “Oh, Elise, it’s so good to see you. You can just sign it to me.”

  Elise tipped her head to the side. It was clear she had absolutely no idea who the woman was. She didn’t even try to pretend.

  “And your name would be?” she asked, with her pen poised over the page.

  The woman, tiny and fragile-looking, with her slight build and glasses that looked too heavy for her face, stared at Elise with such a look of hurt that Mel felt sorry for her. Clearly, meeting Elise meant much more to the woman than it did to Elise.

  “I’m Janie Fulton,” she said. “I lived three houses down from you on Crestwood Drive for twenty years.”

  Elise gaped at her. Mel got the feeling she still didn’t know who Janie was, but she decided to bluff.

  “Janie, darling, it’s so good to see you,” Elise cried. “You look really . . . well.”

  “Thank you,” Janie gushed. “I’ve been keeping an eye on everyone for you, and I know everything that’s happening in the neighborhood, so I can help with the next book.”

  “Aren’t you a dear?” Elise asked. She looked a bit stiff. “But this book has only just come out, and I have to get through this publicity
tour first and then, of course, they’re already talking movie.”

  “Of course. I know you’re so busy,” Janie said. “But maybe we could get together for old times’ sake sometime.”

  Elise finished writing in the book and closed it, handing it to Janie. “Sure, doll, thanks for coming.”

  It was a stone-cold dismissal as Elise looked past Janie at the next person in line. Janie’s shoulders slumped. She opened the book and glanced at the personalization. Mel wouldn’t have thought it possible, but Janie looked even more defeated.

  “She spelled my name wrong,” Janie said to Cassie, who was standing beside Elise. “She wrote a y instead of an ie.”

  “Oh, no,” Cassie said. “I’m sure she’d be happy to make it right.”

  She gestured for Janie to wait, when Elise erupted out of her seat and snapped, “You!”

  Seeing the look that was directed at the woman behind her, Janie yelped and moved out of Elise’s line of sight lest she be turned to stone.

  “Me,” the woman behind Janie returned. She put one hand on her hip and tossed her perfectly highlighted hair.

  Elise and the woman commenced their stare-down and the entire room stood frozen, watching. Were they about to rip each other’s hair out or exchange nasty insults? Mel did a quick scan to see if there were any sharp implements in the vicinity besides Elise’s pen. Nope, they were good.

  “Eeee!” the two women squealed at the same time, and then Elise was leaning over the table to hug the other woman close.

  Mel sagged in relief and she noted that Cassie and Angie did the same.

  “I can’t believe you’re here, Shanna!”

  “Only for you, dearest,” Shanna returned. “Now sign my book to me, and make it naughty.”

  Elise bit the end of her pen and resumed her seat. She signed the book, talking all the while. “We simply have to get together while I have time. What are you doing after this?”

  “Actually, I have plans,” Shanna said. “My whole life has been in utter turmoil.”

  “Really?” Elise asked. “Why?”