Imperfect Love: Not Her (Kindle Worlds Novella)

by Julia Bright

  She already has the water going when I step into the bathroom. No doubt, Heather is the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I step into the shower and stare at the water running over her perfect breasts and lower, down her abdomen, to her beautiful pussy. Every inch of her calls to me, and her pussy is no exception. I want to taste and touch her everywhere. My cock is waking up, wanting more. Would she be up for another round? I certainly hope so.

  Washing her body is nearly a religious experience for me. My fingers glide over her skin, sliding over her sweet flesh. I seek out her clit, circling it with my finger. She gasps and then moans. She’s still slick, maybe from my cum, maybe just from her excitement, but it feels amazing. I’m fully invested in taking her to the next level.

  Heather turns, and my cock slides between her ass cheeks. I gasp as the skin of my cock catches a little on her butt cheeks. It is amazing, better than jacking off.

  I slide my fingers down to her clit, pressing just enough to get a response. She arches back against me, her ass lifting just a little. Heat swamps me. I need to be inside her. I line up but remember the condom. Her ass keeps rubbing against me, tempting me.

  I grab the condom and rip it open, rolling it on fast. My knees bend just enough so I can slide into her pussy. I want to fuck her ass, but we hadn’t talked about it. Doing that without discussing it would be one way to ruin our relationship.

  She’s about to come even though I’ve just entered her. Her pussy walls are squeezing me, and she’s gasping. Slamming into her would feel so good, but I take this slowly. My fingers seek out her clit and I toy with her, taking her closer to the edge.

  The moans I’m getting from her ramp up my excitement. I stroke in a little faster and she gasps. I’m going to go crazy if I have to keep moving this slowly. But what a way to go. She’s so freaking sexy I can’t hold it together. She’s better than I ever could have guessed.

  “Mmm, Baxter, so fucking sexy.”

  Her words make everything hotter. She wants me, and I can’t hold back. Then she gasps and arches her back. Her hands are clawing at me as her pussy squeezes around me. I want to shout my triumph at bringing her to orgasm. She is putty in my hands as her body relaxes. I can’t hold back. I slam in, fucking her hard. She’s gasping as she holds tight to my arm.

  “So good, Heather. You’re so freaking good.”

  “Baxter.”

  My name on her lips is enough to make me come. This time was just as intense as before. Though I wish I hadn’t worn the condom because feeling her come around my cock was the best feeling I’ve ever experienced.

  The sigh Heather releases sticks with me long after our shower. That noise had twisted through me, snagging my heart, making me want for so much more than I had.

  Not long after we stretch out, her breath evens out. I’m still awake as she lies with her head on my shoulder, her hair fanned out on my chest. I wasn’t into cuddling. I usually got up, kicked the woman out, or went to my computer and worked until I was exhausted. But with Heather, I want to remember this moment forever. I’m afraid I’ll screw this up. She’s perfect, and I’m not. She’s always been amazing, and I’ve never been. I can’t believe I ever walked away from her. My life wasn’t better without her.

  My earlier vow to stay distant mocks me as she sighs in her sleep. Heather isn’t the type of woman I can stay away from. My parents hate her. It was obvious from the way my mother turned up her nose when Heather walked into the room. The words my dad said under his breath showed how much he dislikes her.

  This weekend was about showing my father how responsible I was for choosing an acceptable woman who would help me settle down, but I was starting to not care what he thought. Having Heather was beginning to mean more than having the company.

  The next morning, I find the bed empty. A pang of sadness fills me. I can’t stand the thought of her not being in my arms so I go in search of her. Was I really this whipped? I knew the answer and I wasn’t sure I liked how easily I’ve fallen for her.

  I find her on the back patio with Alisha. They’re sipping coffee. Fruit and a few pastries are laid out on a tray. For a few seconds, I can observe without their notice. Heather really is beautiful, but it’s more than just looks. There’s a light inside her and I can’t stay away. This isn’t just lust and getting my rocks off, my feelings for Heather have taken over.

  “We’ll have brunch in a few hours when your parents get up,” Alisha says.

  I nod and pour myself a cup of coffee before sitting next to Heather. She leans in and brushes her lips over mine. I still feel it, that connection we’d made last night. It was the type of connection built to last.

  My father comes down and looks at me before curling his lips into a sneer. Heather notices, her shoulders getting stiff, though she says nothing. His attitude is wearing on my nerves. Living in New York, working at the company managing one of the larger divisions, has given me some inner strength. I know what I’m doing, and I’m making good decisions for the company. Though I’m not the CEO, I’m important. Heck, I wasn’t the same boy who had fought for his daddy’s attention. I didn’t need his approval.

  Heather takes a sip of coffee, and her gaze meets mine. Maybe proving myself wasn’t worth it. I’d gotten the buttercup tattoo because it reminded me of her, but had I lost myself trying to become someone my dad would accept?

  “Would you like to take a walk?”

  Heather’s eyes crinkle at the corners, and she nods. I hold out my hand, and when she takes it, my heart skips a beat. She’s gotten to me without even trying.

  “Grab your coffee.”

  “Sure. Thank you, Alisha, the coffee is lovely. If you like, I can help you get brunch on the table later.”

  My dad opens his mouth to say something but Alisha beats him to the punch.

  “You’re too kind. I have someone coming in to cook in an hour, but I would love to have your help with the drinks.”

  Heather nods and smiles at my dad. “Good morning, Jason.”

  My dad grunts and anger washes through me. Heather’s hand on mine is the only thing preventing me from telling my dad off. I don’t want to argue with him because I’ve done it before and lost. My mind twists over the arguments we’ve had as Heather and I walk down the hill and past the tennis courts. I’ve taken this path so many times. It leads through the trees and twists past piles of dirt.

  “When I was a child, I came back here to play. It was my sanctuary, my hideout.”

  Heather turns and walks backwards for a few steps before spinning around. “It’s nice out here. How long have William and Alisha lived here?”

  “Forever. Their children are older than me. I think her grandfather owned the house. They’ve added to it, built the tennis courts, put in a pool, but they’ve had it forever.”

  She stops and looks up, spinning a little as I watch. I could look for a hundred years and never find a woman as good as her. “They’re different than your parents.”

  I laugh. It’s a painful realization, one I can’t quite talk about. I pluck a leaf from Heather’s hair before catching her hand in mine. Anger from the past surfaces. I thought I had that old fury beaten, but something had set it off. I try to focus on Heather as we make our way to the creek that twists through the woods.

  “This is nice.” Heather’s words pull me from my musings.

  We’re close to the creek and I take my hand from hers to move a limb that is blocking our path. “It was one of my favorite places as a kid. I know it may be tough to imagine this, but my parents fought all the time.”

  She slaps her hands to her cheeks. “What? Surely you jest.”

  I laugh with Heather and move to bump her shoulder but my foot slips on a rock and I slide down the bank, landing in the creek with a splash.

  “Are you okay?” Heather looks horrified as she tries to make her way down the slippery bank.

  “Don’t come—”

  It’s too late for my warnings. After a screech and a splash, Hea
ther is in the water next to me, her laughter warming me all the way to my toes. I chuckle and try to stand but Heather picks up a wad of mud and tosses it at me. It smacks me on the side of my face. A flash of annoyance fuels my anger. Years ago I’d come home muddy after playing by the creek. My father had beaten me, leaving red marks up my back and down my legs. It had traumatized me. I fight through the haze, shoving my anger down. I don’t want to be my dad, ever.

  I pick up a handful of mud and smear it over Heather’s neck and down to her cleavage. As weird as it is, I’m getting hot. Heather gasps then laughs louder. In less than thirty seconds we’re both dripping with mud. She pushes me to the bank and hovers over me. A glob of mud drips off her neck to my cheek.

  We both laugh as she lowers. “We’re so dirty.”

  “If this place were more secluded, I’d strip you naked and show you how dirty I really am.”

  She sits back and studies me. “Why do you try so hard to be like your dad?”

  I sigh and shake my head, hating the truth. I go to cover my eyes, but my arm is too dirty, so I let it drop to my side. “I don’t know. Stupidity maybe.”

  “You’re not a stupid man, Baxter.”

  My father had drilled in how dumb I was when I’d done stuff like come home covered in mud. Again and again, he’d railed, telling me I was stupid. “You don’t know that.”

  “Please, we were friends. I know you’re not dumb.”

  I turn over and crawl up the bank. Disgust fills me. Heather doesn’t know that her challenge makes me feel powerless. Her words rub salt in wounds I’d etched on my body after tireless nights spent trying to be good enough. Once at the top I turn and look at her. She’s still in ankle deep water with mud running down her neck onto her breasts. She’s everything I want to be. Free-spirited, kind, loving, and I’m not enough of anything that used to be me when we knew each other in California.

  “You don’t understand.” The words were flung at her in anger. I try to remain calm, but it’s too much. Memories flow fast, making my head spin.

  “Are you happy?” Heather climbs up the bank with little help from me. I should reach down and pull her up, but anger has me frozen.

  Pain lances my heart. Her question sets off a fire chain of anger I can’t control. “What do you know about business? You wear your funky clothes and do your hair however you want. You don’t have to deal with the real world or what it takes to run a business. I work hard, and still, my dad is an asshole, keeping the business from me. It’s not like I can be happy and work. I have to choose.”

  I draw in a deep breath as realization dawns. I’d made a huge mistake. The words were my father’s, not mine, but they were out there and the hurt on Heather’s face was too real. I reach for her, but she shakes off my hold.

  Without any hesitation, she turns and races away. I go after her.

  “Wait. Please don’t go. I didn’t mean it.” I see tears in her eyes and I want to wipe them away, but my hands are filthy. “Heather, I’m sorry.”

  “I’m done. I’m going home.”

  Panic sets in. “Please. Don’t leave.”

  Heather turns on me, her eyes blazing. “Why, so your family doesn’t figure out you’re not really engaged?”

  “No, please, it’s not that. I beg you. Stay, please.”

  She shakes her head and turns to go.

  “I-I can’t lose you.”

  “I’m not yours to lose.” She lifts her hand and shakes her head. “I won’t tell your family you lied, just let me go.”

  The crushing weight of her leaving is enough to pull me out of my stupidity. I don’t care if my family knows I lied. I don’t care if my dad thinks I’m an untrustworthy idiot. All that matters is Heather.

  “Wait,” I shout, stopping her in her tracks.

  Heather spins around and throws up her hands. “What? What could you possibly want?”

  “You.”

  She shakes her head violently. “You don’t even know me.”

  I hold out one dirty hand as I approach her. “No, I don’t.”

  Her eyes are narrowed and her face looks pained. “I can’t stay. Not after what you said.”

  “Fine. I’ll drive you home. I’m sorry.”

  She sighs and her shoulders drop. “I don’t want your sorrys.”

  I’d gone too far and I had no defense. “Let’s eat brunch then I’ll drive you home.”

  “I can find another way.”

  Self-hate fills me. I’m such a jerk and I may have ruined the best thing I’ve ever had. “Alisha will be disappointed if you leave.”

  Heather stills. I can tell that manipulating her may have worked for now, but she’s not the type of woman to bow to pressure.

  “Fine, but that’s it.” Her words are crisp and unforgiving.

  I follow her through the woods, wishing I hadn’t let my anger loose. We slip inside and make it to our room without being seen. Shower time is much less exciting. Heather washes first. When she finishes, she barely even gives me a second glance. I wash quickly and come out to find her packed and ready to go.

  “I didn’t mean what I said.” I kneel in front of her but she won’t look at me. “I hate how I feel.”

  After a long moment, her gaze connects with mine. “I’m having a hard time believing you’re sincere.”

  “I’m an idiot. I’ll admit that.”

  Heather scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  “I made a huge mistake. I see you being happy, loving life, and for a moment I thought I could have that. I’ve never felt so good with anyone. Back in school, you made my life good.”

  She frowns. “Why didn’t you ever kiss me then?”

  I swallow, stalling as I think about that time. “When I met you, I was depressed. I didn’t even know how depressed I was until you took my hand that night and held it while I cried. You saw a part of me that I’ve never allowed anyone else to see. You didn’t hold my weakness against me. The next day, you were nice. I didn’t want to ruin it. You’ve seen how my parents act. I thought that’s what being in a relationship was. I didn’t want that with you. I wanted something special, and I knew that if I kissed you, if I touched you, I would end our relationship because I’m an asshole.”

  Her brows pinch tight and she shakes her head. “You don’t have to be that way.”

  “No, I guess I don’t. I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone.”

  “You were engaged, right?”

  I nod as my heart sinks. I had been engaged but that relationship was even more fake than what I have with Heather. “Do you actually think it was anything like what I have with you?”

  Her brows pinch together. “Didn’t you love her?”

  I screw my lips up and shake my head. “I’m a dick. No, I didn’t love her. I loved that my dad would stop riding my case and I could get on with life. We didn’t spend much time together. She was arm candy and not much else. We weren’t friends and we barely knew each other. I needed a fiancée and she was the least annoying woman I knew.”

  “That’s sad.”

  A bark of laughter escapes my lips. “I know. It’s very sad and disgusting. I’m a terrible person.” She doesn’t automatically disagree and I guess I deserve her revile. “My life since I left California has been different. I forgot a lot of things. I forgot those afternoons we spent in the library studying together and those evenings we spent walking around campus while we discussed everything under the sun. I don’t want to be the person my dad wants me to be.”

  “Baxter, I don’t have the emotional energy to prop you up again. I did it before. I can’t do it a second time.”

  I take a step closer and she stiffens. I don’t deserve her trust. I messed up big time. “I’m not asking you to. I’m just asking you to give me a chance. I’ve been bowing down to my dad for years and doing things his way. Don’t toss me out yet. Give me time to adjust.”

  Her eyes dip a little, but she isn’t gone…yet. I ho
ld out my hand and she stares at it for a long moment. I’m about to give up when she laces our fingers together and squeezes.

  “Brunch, then we’ll make an excuse and head home?” Part of me wants to stay here and get to know her. But staying here would be doing what my dad wants me to do. Heather means more to me than my family’s stupid company where I’d been working for since before I was old enough to have a job. My dad wouldn’t ever give in. He wasn’t going to allow me to take over. The sad realization hits. No matter what I do, I’ll never be head of the company.

  “Okay, brunch. You’re right, Alisha would be unhappy. We don’t need to crush her just because you’re an idiot.”

  I laugh and Heather’s gaze meets mine. A balloon of stress pops in my chest and my shoulders drop. I can’t lose her. God, I’m such an idiot. I had her in college but I wasn’t ready then.

  “Baxter, there’s one thing you need to understand.”

  Her statement scares me. I’m not sure if I can take too much more understanding or revelation. I’m a mess, no question, now I just need to figure out how to un-screw myself.

  “Yes?”

  “I’m not the same impressionable girl I used to be. I’m not who you think I am.”

  “You’re nice, that’s all that matters.”

  Her eyes narrow. “I’m not a pushover.”

  “I don’t want a pushover. I want the woman I see in front of me.”

  She lifts a brow. “And who do you think I am?”

  “Someone who isn’t going to put up with my shit. You’ll set me straight and tell me when I’m being a jerk. You’re smart, no question. Obviously, you have changed. Allow me to be me without the influence of my dad.”

  Her brows lift. “Can you do that?”

  “Good question. Before, when we were in college, I thought I had more time before all of this taking over the company bullshit.”