She's Gone (A psychological thriller)

by M A Comley

  “It’ll happen. Fingers crossed it’s soon.”

  Once they pulled up outside what was to become Martin’s home again, he unloaded the car while Debs entered the house to put the kettle on. He looked up and down the street and caught a few curtains twitching here and there. He shrugged and carried his case inside.

  They sat down in the newly fitted kitchen, something they’d put in a month or two before he’d walked out, with a loan he was still paying off, and switched on the TV. They watched the afternoon bulletin together. Seeing their beautiful Adele’s face on the screen, Debs’ head dipped and her shoulders shook. He gathered her in his arms, putting aside his own helpless emotions to take care of Debs.

  “It’s hard, I know. But the more they keep showing her photo, the more likely it is we’ll get her back, sweetheart.”

  “I know. Oh, God, I miss her so much. I’ve tried to be strong, to keep my emotions in check, but it’s proving harder every hour she’s missing. Maybe coming back here has made it worse, I don’t know. I feel her all around me. I’m aware her toys are stored away in the cupboard over there. I wish she was here making a bloody mess. I swear, if she comes back, I will never curse her again for leaving her toys lying around for me to stub my toe on.”

  “When she comes back, not if. I suppose every parent in our situation has the same conversation with their family members. It’s a tough position to find ourselves in. We’ll get through it. Think of the happy times you spent with her. The holidays we went on. Remember that time we went on a mini-break to Guernsey? She loved it there, messing about on the beach, chasing the seagulls as they landed, scavenging for the odd scraps of food the holidaymakers had left behind.”

  “I do remember. She was three at the time. She’s been driving us crazy ever since to go back there.”

  “I wish I’d taken her to the beach the other day, instead of the lake. It was a toss-up between the two. If only I had, we wouldn’t be sitting here, struggling to get a hold of our feelings.”

  The doorbell rang to interrupt him. He cleared the lump in his throat and went to open the door, then paused at the doorway. “God, I forgot myself then. It should be you answering the door, Debs.”

  She waved the suggestion away. “No, it shouldn’t, please, I’d rather you do it.”

  He smiled and then walked into the hallway to answer it. Standing on the doorstep was a young man in a suit. “Yes?”

  “Mr Jenkins, I’m Todd Wilkins from the Liverpool Echo. I was wondering if you had time for a quick chat.”

  “About what?” Martin responded, acting dumb.

  “Come now, sir, there’s no need for you to be so coy; we both know why I’m here, interested in speaking with you.”

  “Yeah, we do. Look, we’d rather be left alone right now. We appreciate what you’re all doing for us, keeping our daughter in the minds of the general public, but I held a press conference up in The Lakes, that took a lot out of me, as you can imagine. We don’t want to be bothered every five minutes with a journalist from a different newspaper, knocking at our door. I’m sure you can understand our feelings on that issue.”

  “I can. Look, I’m experienced in these types of cases. Not bragging or anything, but in the past, when a child has gone missing and the parents have opened up to me and the readers, it has had startling results.”

  “Meaning what?”

  “That the child has been found and returned home.”

  “In every case?”

  “More or less.” Wilkins grinned.

  Martin shook his head. “I’m sorry, I repeat, as much as we welcome you guys sharing our daughter’s disappearance, I don’t feel comfortable opening up to the press every five minutes. We’re quite private people and this kind of intrusion is only going to make our emotional ride a darn sight worse.”

  “Are you two back together?”

  Wilkins’ question rocked him. Martin frowned. “What does that have to do with you?”

  The journalist shrugged and smirked. “I think you are, which again, in itself could make a wonderful headline for the paper.”

  Anger surged. “That’s enough. Goodbye, Mr Wilkins.” The door slammed in the reporter’s surprised face.

  “Who was at the door?” Debs asked the moment he stepped back into the kitchen.

  “A bloody nosey reporter. Wanting another sodding exclusive with his paper.”

  Debs held her head in her hands. “Is that what our life is going to consist of in the days ahead of us? Us dodging the cameras and reporters? If it is, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to cope.”

  “It won’t, I promise. Why don’t I make us another cup of coffee? That usually makes the world feel a better place again, doesn’t it?”

  “Okay. I suppose I should think about getting something organised for dinner as well.”

  “Burger and chips from the takeaway around the corner will do for me, don’t feel like you have to cook for us, sweetheart.”

  “Phew! That’s a relief, not sure I’m up to much. It’s been a hectic twenty-four hours or so, you know how much I hate travelling.”

  “Why don’t you take your drink upstairs and have a lie-down?”

  “Would you mind? What will you do?”

  “Don’t worry about me, I’m sure I’ll find something to occupy my mind. I might even call around to Louise’s and pick up the rest of my stuff, if that’s all right? If you’re a hundred percent sure about me moving back in here with you.”

  Debs hopped off her stool, stood in front of him and slid her arms around his neck. “Of course I am. There are no doubts running through my mind, I can assure you. I need you and your support, Martin, like I’ve never needed it before.”

  “You’ve got it.” He kissed her deeply and then groaned. “I think we better stop before we both end up in bed.”

  She smirked. “Fine by me.”

  He kissed the tip of her nose. “Go, I’ll bring your coffee up when it’s made.”

  Debs trotted out of the room and he proceeded to get a coffee ready, just for her. The kettle boiled, and he took her drink upstairs.

  A strange feeling descended as he walked up the stairs. It had been a while since he’d ventured into the bedroom with Debs, and he wasn’t sure how he’d react once he walked in. Before he reached the master bedroom, though, he had to pass Adele’s room. The door was ajar. With one finger, he poked at it and the door slowly swung open to reveal his daughter’s pink princess bed, the one he’d put together himself three years earlier when she’d grown out of her cot. His heartstrings tugged as he took in all her cuddly toys and the dolls lined up on the floor along the skirting board, similar to the way he’d found Lucy Lou back at the cottage. Maybe Adele had placed the doll in that position under the bed, after all.

  He crept into the room as if a magnet was drawing him in. Once inside, he turned slowly, taking in all her possessions; then he closed his eyes and imagined her back there, in her room, snuggled beneath the bright pink quilt cover, smiling up at him. When he opened his eyes again, the reality hit him like a sledgehammer to the gut. Martin placed the mug of coffee on the small bedside table, sat on the edge of the bed and broke down.

  Debs must have heard his heart rending sobs because she appeared in the doorway seconds later. “Oh, darling, you shouldn’t have come in here. It’s why I went straight to my bedroom. I knew the devastation it would cause if I opened the door and poked my head in.”

  “I miss her so much. My God, I need her to come home. She’s only just come back to me after all these months apart and I failed her. I let her out of my sight and someone bloody took her. You can’t imagine the guilt I feel knowing all this could have been avoided. If only I’d put Adele’s needs first… we wouldn’t be in this position and she would be with us now.”

  “No, you’re wrong. First of all, you’re not to blame. Secondly, if Adele hadn’t gone missing, then we wouldn’t have been thrown back together.”

  Rubbing a hand across his face, he s
miled at her. “I know. Let’s hope it’s an omen and she comes back to us soon. I’m sorry for breaking down, I’m trying my best to remain strong for both of us. It’s hard though.”

  “I know you are. Hey, you’re emotionally overwrought, go get your stuff and I’ll knock us up a nice meal to celebrate your coming home. Forget the takeaway, I want to show willing and look after my man instead.”

  “No, I refuse to let you do that, you need your rest, love. I’ll pick up a takeaway on the way home, and you can cook us a special meal tomorrow, how does that sound?”

  “Okay, sounds good to me.”

  They shared another kiss and left the room. Debs slipped into bed and he put the mug down beside her. “I won’t be long. Is there anything else you need?”

  “Only you. I love you, Martin. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

  He felt elated and her heaven-sent words plugged a gaping hole in his heart. “I know. I feel exactly the same. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for leaving you. Again, if I hadn’t left, Adele would still be with us now.”

  Debs smiled and shook her head. “You mustn’t keep punishing yourself like that. We can’t turn back the clock, neither of us can.”

  “I know. Let’s not get maudlin, I want to try and remain upbeat about her coming back to us. The alternative is for us to mope around and that’s not going to get us anywhere, is it?”

  “You’re wise to think that way. I’ll be fine, leave me and go. I’ll drink my coffee and then snuggle down for a snooze.”

  Debs’ eyelids fluttered as she struggled to keep awake. “I won’t be long. I’m not going to get into an argument with her; if she starts, I’ll leave my stuff there and come home straight away. So you may see me sooner than you think.”

  “I hope she doesn’t kick off. See you later.”

  He bent to kiss her, and she hugged him tightly and smiled.

  Martin sucked in a deep breath and left the car. He had parked in front of his own vehicle, the one Louise had driven back from The Lakes. He’d need to make arrangements to pick that up another time, when Debs was feeling up to it. He rattled his key in his trouser pocket, but chose to ring the bell instead.

  Louise seemed confused when she opened the door to him. “Oh, hi, why didn’t you use your key?”

  “I forgot I had it,” he lied. Then admitted, “It didn’t feel right, sorry.”

  Louise stood back and motioned for him to come in. Cautiously, he stepped into the hallway of the Victorian house he’d come to regard as his home for the past eight or nine months.

  “Any news?” Louise asked. She led the way through the regency-coloured hallway to the kitchen at the rear.

  “Nothing so far. We drove back this afternoon. I settled Debs at the house and decided to come over and see you.”

  “That was kind of you.”

  He detected a note of sarcasm in her tone. “Sorry I haven’t called you. I’ve been up to my neck in the search, speaking to the media and the police. Time passes by so quickly when you’re being bombarded from all angles.”

  “I can imagine. Had I been in your position, though, I would have kept you updated. I suppose that’s the difference between us.”

  “Don’t start, Louise.” He went on the defensive.

  She leaned against the quartz worktop and crossed her arms. “Don’t start? I make a simple comment and that’s the first words out of your mouth?”

  “We hardly parted on speaking terms, did we?”

  “And whose fault was that? I left you a note at the cottage and I told you to your face, several times how sorry I am. No matter how many times I say it, it’s never going to be enough, is it? Go on, tell me, truthfully.”

  He wandered over to the bi-fold doors and stared out at the garden which was full of equipment for the kids, her kids. And again, his heart sank. “No.”

  She came to stand beside him and tugged on his arm, forcing him to face her and have the conversation he was reluctant to have now that he was here.

  “No? What are you saying, Martin?”

  He turned to her and watched the colour instantly drain from her face. “That it’s over between us.”

  “Jesus! Why? Because of one lousy mistake?”

  He gritted his teeth and then let out a harsh laugh. “In my book, it was a pretty massive mistake.”

  “For which I apologised. I’ll feel guilty about not keeping a closer eye on Adele, your child, for the rest of my bloody life. It’s not like I did it intentionally… wait, you can’t possibly think that?”

  He shrugged.

  Louise let out a screech and slapped him, hard. So hard his head snapped to the side and rebounded. He narrowed his eyes and glared at her. “You heartless fucking prick. How dare you come here and accuse me of intentionally taking my eye off the ball, allowing your daughter to wander off like that?”

  “She didn’t.”

  Her brow furrowed. “What? I don’t understand.”

  “The inspector in charge of the case suspects Adele was abducted. Haven’t you seen the news?”

  “No. I’ve kept the TV and radio off since we got back; all this has been too traumatic for Matilda and Jake, so I made sure they didn’t have access to any of the news reports. That’s by the by, what makes the inspector think she has been abducted?”

  “Protecting your kids, as any mother should.” He grumbled. “The scent for the sniffer dogs went cold at the road. They believe someone probably led her away and drove off.”

  “Oh fuck. I never imagined anything along those lines might have taken place. No wonder you’re angry with me.”

  “Angry is one word for it. I can never forgive you, Louise, as harsh as that sounds, even to my ears. I would be letting my daughter down if I did.”

  She stumbled backwards and clutched at the dining room chair behind her. “It needn’t be over between us, we could mend things, couldn’t we?”

  “What? I find it incredible that you could possibly think things could ever be right between us.” He shook his head and let out a guttural groan. “You thought we could get past this and carry on with ‘our happy little family’ vibe? There’s no way I could do that, not now.” His words came out more cruelly than he’d intended. The whole conversation hadn’t gone the way he’d imagined. She pushed his buttons, thinking they could continue being the ideal couple.

  Louise sank into the chair and slapped a hand to her cheek. “My God, you’re serious, aren’t you? You’re intent on blaming me for this… God, I never thought I’d hear those words come out of your mouth. It was an accident, a misguided lapse in concentration. Actually, it wasn’t. Yes, I’m guilty of putting my own daughter first, because at the time, it was Matilda who needed me. If that’s me being a bad parent, then yes, heap it on me. But you’re wrong. This isn’t about who needed my attention more on the day. You only had one child, an older child to look after, I had two, one aged six and Adele who is five, no mean feat to contend with, I’m sure you’ll agree. At least any normal, fair-minded person would come down on my side. Why can’t you see that?”

  It was as if she’d practised her speech a dozen times over before their meeting, but no matter how she tried to paint what happened that day, he was having none of it. “You’ve got your take on it and I have mine. It doesn’t matter who comes down on the side of being right or wrong, the conclusion will always be the same. Adele, my five-year-old daughter is missing.”

  She stared at him and shook her head. “I can’t take it. The thought of you heaping the blame on me.” Tears emerged, and she angrily swiped them away. “How can you stand there and speak to me like this, after all we’ve been through together?”

  “Don’t be such a drama queen. We’ve been together eight months after we started a damn illicit relationship at work. It was hardly the love affair of the century, was it?”

  Her hand reached out and grabbed the salt pot. She aimed it at him and it hit him in the arm, stunning both of them. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do
that.”

  “If that’s what our relationship has come down to, then it’s a good job I’m leaving.”

  “No. Don’t say that! You can’t go. I won’t let you.”

  He leaned in and sneered, “You haven’t got a choice.”

  He opened the bottom drawer on his immediate right and tore off a black sack, then marched through the house and up the stairs to the bedroom they used to share. Thankfully, Louise didn’t bother following him. He’d had enough arguments to fill a lifetime over the past few days. Functioning on the emotions rising and falling within him, he removed all his clothes from the wardrobe and thrust them into the black bag, not concerned whether they ended up creased or not. He did the same with his underwear and T-shirts from the one drawer Louise had kindly given up when he’d moved in. He wasn’t really one for shoes, so there was nothing to pack there as they were all back at Debs’ house in the suitcase he’d taken on holiday.

  Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and Louise appeared in the doorway, her arms folded as she leaned against the doorframe. “You’re a cruel man, Martin Jenkins. One day in the future, when Adele finds her way back home, I hope you recall what was said here today and the disgusting way you’ve treated me.”

  “If she ever comes home, no doubt you’re right. I won’t apologise for telling the truth, Louise. Most men would have resorted to name-calling by now, but I haven’t sunk to that level. My daughter means the world to me, I’ve fought the system for months to spend time with her; and when I do, she vanishes. Have you even considered how the fuck that is going to look when the judge finds out?”

  “My God, that thought is at the forefront of your mind? Is that why you’re moving out, probably back in with her?”

  “No, it’s not. Don’t even think that way. During our time together, I’ve realised I still love Debs; I don’t think I ever fell out of love with her, if I’m honest. Our time together has been a mistake, one that I’ll regret for the rest of my life.”