First

by Penelope Sky

  I stepped farther inside so I could shut her office door.

  My movements snapped her out of her daze. “Why are you here?” She stared at my face with such concentration, as if she wanted to memorize my features because she couldn’t look at me again. She hardly blinked as she took me in, that ferocity mixed with a subtle hint of longing.

  I stepped closer to her, stalling for time because I didn’t know what to say. “What are you doing?” Now that I was this close to her, I could smell her perfume. It wasn’t the way she used to smell, like she’d upgraded to something fancier now that she had Liam’s money again. That would explain the diamonds in her lobes as well as around her neck, in addition to that big diamond ring. “That asshole cheated on you. You left him and moved on. Now you’re right back?”

  Her eyes narrowed in anger. “So?”

  “So?” I lifted my arms and threw them down again. “You deserve better, and you know it.”

  “Yes, I do deserve better. But better isn’t out there.”

  She’d slammed her fist into my heart. “Annabella, there is better out there. Don’t settle.”

  Her hands moved to her hips, her fingers digging into the fabric of her dress. “I’ve been single, and it sucked. I met a lot of guys who were really just boys who hit puberty early. And the one guy I actually liked dumped me. I don’t want to waste my time anymore.”

  “And Liam is the solution?” I asked incredulously.

  “He loves me.”

  “When a man loves a woman, he doesn’t cheat.” I threw my arm out. “Ever. No matter what the circumstance is. Even if she cheats on him first, he doesn’t do that shit. Because a real man is loyal, devoted, and will be committed until those goddamn papers are signed.”

  “Maybe real men don’t exist.” She spoke with defeat.

  “Yes, they do. Look at Hades. I’ve been with him to every bar, and every time Sofia would never know if he fooled around. And trust me, he doesn’t even fucking look. And there’ve been offers. When times got tough, it didn’t change anything. He was there—every fucking day. So yes, they exist.” I placed my palm over my chest. “I’m a real man. I’m honest and loyal—”

  “But you didn’t want me.” Ferocity was in her eyes, as if she’d never forgiven me for what I’d done, as if she wasn’t over it. “You dumped me. And you knew how I felt, Damien.”

  All my confidence went out the window when I heard those words, when I was confronted by this level of intimacy. I’d never spoken to a woman like this, listened to her speak to me like this. It was the first time…in my thirty years.

  “Don’t be a coward. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

  I breathed hard, feeling the vest of my suit stretch over my rib cage with every breath.

  “I loved you.” She didn’t drop her gaze like she had in the bank. She looked at me head on, fearless, and confessed, “I fell in love with you, and you broke my heart.”

  “I didn’t know—”

  “Yes, you did.” She dropped her hands from her hips. “It was obvious every time I’d wake you up in the middle of the night to have you. Every time I climbed on top of you and said you were mine. Every time I’d reach out for you in the middle of the night because I felt so safe with you there.”

  Paralyzed, I just stood there, listening to this gorgeous woman tell me these terrible things.

  Tears formed on the surface of her eyes, growing wet and reflective with her speech, but she didn’t let them well up and fall. “I still don’t know how that happened. I expected it to take years to feel that way about someone, especially after the losers that came before you. But you were special…and I knew it. I’m tired of getting my heart broken, and I don’t have the energy to put myself out there again. I know what’s out there—nothing. Liam loves me, would do anything for me, and I know he’s sorry for what he did. He knows what it’s like to live without me, so he’ll never do that again.”

  “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

  Her eyes narrowed farther this time, furious about my reaction. “After everything I just said, that’s the only response you have?”

  It was the only thing that came out, but it wasn’t the only thought I had.

  “Why do you even care, Damien?” She threw her arms down. “You don’t want me, so why do you care who I want to be with? What Liam did was wrong, but he’s a good man in every other way. He made a mistake, and I’m not going to vilify him forever—”

  “But you don’t love him.” I really needed to shut up.

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, I can’t be with the man I love…”

  I was the first one to break eye contact because the self-loathing was too much. I wanted to tell her the truth, that I left to protect her. I could tell her the reason right now, but she would try to convince me that she wasn’t afraid, that she didn’t care about the risk. And I would cave… I knew I would. And if I loved her and truly cared about her, I would give up everything to be with her, but I didn’t feel that way. We weren’t Hades and Sofia. We weren’t soul mates. I hadn’t even been with her long enough to develop intense feelings like that. She was just a woman I liked…and that wasn’t enough.

  “Unless I’m wrong?” she asked hopefully, her voice breaking with emotion. She blinked a few times to chase back the tears, to maintain a strong expression that contradicted the emotion building inside her chest.

  No. She wasn’t wrong. “No.” I lifted my gaze and looked at her again. “I do care about you…deeply. And I want you—”

  She raised her hand, doing her best to keep her tears at bay. “Leave.”

  I stood rooted to the spot because I didn’t want to leave her like this.

  “This conversation is over.” She slowly lowered her hand. “I’m going to move on with my life. And I’m going to do my best to forget you. Let me forget you.”

  32

  Annabella

  I had my old car, but I took the long way home.

  I didn’t want to walk in the door with all this baggage on my shoulders. Liam would be there, and he would see right through my poor attempt to mask the shitty day I just had. He didn’t want to hear about the guy who still held some real estate in my heart. He didn’t deserve that.

  But I couldn’t shake the feeling.

  And I couldn’t lie either.

  So, I finally walked through the front door and hung up my coat in the entryway.

  The sound of someone working in the kitchen was audible, heavy pans hitting the bottom of the sink. “Baby, is that you?”

  I sighed as I slipped off my heels and left them by the doorway. “Yeah.”

  “You’re home later than usual.”

  Because I was wandering around the streets with my music blaring. I moved down the hallway and entered the large kitchen, seeing him plate the food and set it on the kitchen island. “Paperwork.”

  His back was still turned to me so he couldn’t see my face. “You can quit whenever you want. You know that.”

  I wanted to keep working. It was nice to have something to do, something that got me up in the morning and kept me active. “I like my job.” I sat on the barstool.

  He turned around and put the plate in front of me. When he read the expression in my eyes, he said, “Doesn’t seem like it.”

  “Well, today wasn’t my favorite.”

  He grabbed a couple forks and set them between us. Then he stared at me again, reading my expression like words on a page. “It’s more than just work. I can tell.”

  He knew me better than anyone. “I don’t want to talk about it…” I started to push my food around so I could keep my eyes averted.

  He grabbed my fork and set it down. “I’m your husband, so you’re going to talk to me about it.”

  Not yet.

  “Annabella.” He used that deep tone to get me to look at him.

  “Trust me, you don’t want to hear about this.” I didn’t want to hurt him because I cared
for him. Some would say this was karma, but even then, I had no desire for payback.

  When he understood my meaning, he sighed quietly. “Yes, I do. I want to hear everything about your life…even the shit I don’t like.” He was trying much harder to be a good husband this time around. He hadn’t been nearly this attentive and emotionally available in the past. Losing me had really changed him.

  I stared at my plate again. “He found out I was getting married.”

  Liam didn’t say anything, but his body tightened in anger, as if he was afraid I was about to leave him. His response to any situation was violence, but that wasn’t applicable here.

  “Told me I shouldn’t…that I deserved better.”

  He closed his eyes.

  “We argued for a while, and then I asked him to leave.”

  “You didn’t take him back?” He lifted his gaze to look at me.

  “No…but he didn’t ask. He still doesn’t want me. He just doesn’t want me to be with you.”

  He gripped the counter with both hands and sighed. “What is it about this guy?”

  “I don’t know…he says he cares about me—”

  “No.” He sighed again. “Why are you still on his hook?”

  I hadn’t thought about Damien much in the last month, probably because I didn’t have to see or talk to him. But the moment I saw his pretty eyes and hard features, I was sent back in time to all those nights we’d spent together. Feelings rushed back like no time had passed at all. “I don’t know…”

  “Are you in love with him?” Liam had never asked me details about my former lover because he preferred to avoid the elephant in the room, but when the problem wasn’t going to go away, he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

  I couldn’t look him in the eye as I answered. “Yeah…I loved him.”

  He couldn’t hide his hurt. “I asked if you loved him now.”

  “I…I guess. But I don’t want to. I hadn’t thought about him much lately, but when I saw him…everything started again.”

  Liam had clearly lost his appetite because he didn’t even look at his food. “Is it done now?”

  Damien had said what he wanted to say, and now it was over. I’d told him how I felt, and he didn’t reciprocate. He hurt me all over again. Now there was no reason for us to ever speak again. “Yeah. It’s done.”

  “If he wanted you, would you go back to him?”

  I wanted to lie to spare Liam’s feelings, but I couldn’t. “Liam…”

  “I think I already know the answer, but I want to be sure.”

  I stared at my plate. “Yeah…”

  He dropped his hands and stepped back for a second, unable to hide his disappointment.

  “We don’t have to do this, Liam. I understand if—”

  “You’re the only woman I want to be with.” He came back to me, his arms crossed over his chest. “None of this would have happened if I hadn’t fucked up everything. We’d still be together right now, maybe even have another kid on the way. I’m the only one to blame for this, so I accept the consequences. I know in time you’ll really forget about him…and I can be patient.”

  33

  Damien

  Weeks had passed since Annabella and I had spoken.

  Since she’d told me she loved me with tears in her eyes.

  And I’d just stood there…and felt worthless.

  Time had passed, but the wound was still fresh. When my thoughts wandered, they always wandered to her. Now I sat in my office at the lab, my feet on the desk as I stared at the weird painting on the wall. It had been there when we’d moved in to the place, but Hades and I thought it was so stupid that we had to keep it.

  A knock sounded on my door. “The Skull King is here.”

  I took a deep breath and steadied my temper. I wanted to pull out a rusty knife and stab him right in the throat, let the blood spill and the rust enter his veins. “Send him in.”

  A moment later, the arrogant son of a bitch entered my office. “Nice place.”

  I dropped my feet and righted myself in my chair. “The money is on the table.” In a black duffle bag were the royalties that he was due. “Paperwork is inside.”

  He grabbed it with one hand and tested the weight.

  “You can count it if you want.”

  He lifted it over and over. “I am.” When he was satisfied, he put the bag on his shoulder. “It’s always nice to see you, Damien.” He stood at my desk and grinned, enjoying every second of my submission.

  I’d get my chance.

  He continued to linger. “Why the sour face?”

  I rose from my chair and faced him. “You got your money. I don’t owe you anything else.”

  He chuckled. “We could be friends, you know.”

  “I have enough friends.”

  “Well, Balto doesn’t owe you anything, so he doesn’t count. So, Hades is all you’ve got, but he’s out of the game, so he’s useless to you.”

  “He doesn’t need to do anything for me to be my friend.”

  “True. But he’d be a much better friend if he could save your ass. I could do that for you. It’s what you’re paying for, right?”

  I’d never ask for help, even if I desperately needed it. “Goodbye, Heath.”

  He grinned again before he walked out.

  When I opened the door, Hades stood there.

  In a nice suit with his watch on his wrist, he stood with his hands in his pockets. “Damien.”

  “I told you I’m not going.” I left the door open and walked away. I was in my sweatpants, and I hadn’t showered. It was too early in the day to drink, but that hadn’t stopped me. I moved to the couch and fell into the cushions.

  He stood near the roaring fire. “You have to.”

  “I don’t have to do anything, asshole.” I poured myself another drink.

  “Damien.” His voice turned cold.

  I shook my head.

  “You know he’s an important client—”

  “He’s your important client.”

  “Damien,” he repeated. “We know how this is going to end, so don’t make it difficult. Waste of time.”

  I shook my head and dragged my hand over my eyes, so frustrated I could explode.

  “I know this is hard, but you have to go.”

  I grabbed the glass and took a drink. “I shouldn’t have to watch her marry that jackass.”

  “I know,” he said gently. “But that’s how it has to be.”

  “If he knew I’d fucked her, he wouldn’t want me there.”

  “Or maybe he’d want you there more.”

  I gave him a glare.

  “Damien, you had your chance—twice. You said no. Be a man and move on.”

  “Just because I don’t want to be with her doesn’t mean I want to watch her be with someone else, especially a jerk who cheated on her.”

  “Damien.” He spoke to me like a child. “I got here early because I knew you’d be like this. You have an hour to shower and get ready. Don’t make me rip off your sweatpants and throw you in the shower—because I will.”

  I groaned.

  “Liam is going to make us a lot of money very soon. This is important to me—so I’m asking you to do this for me.”

  I groaned again. “You can’t do that—”

  “I just did.” He flashed me his irritated look. “Now, get your ass up.”

  The ceremony was in an old cathedral.

  Interesting choice since Liam had killed people with his bare fists…

  I sat beside Hades on the wooden bench, sitting on Liam’s side even though I had no affinity for the man. There weren’t very many people, maybe a couple dozen. Everyone there knew why they got divorced, so I was surprised they were so supportive of this.

  Annabella deserved better.

  How hard was it not to cheat on your wife? Just don’t fucking do it.

  And why the fuck would you cheat on a woman like Annabella?

  I sighed in my seat and glanced a
t my watch, wanting this nightmare to end.

  Hades didn’t say anything. Sometimes he gave me glances to make sure I wouldn’t explode where I sat.

  Then the music began.

  Unlike a traditional ceremony, there were no bridesmaids or flower girls. Liam walked down the aisle in his suit, bulky and massive as he headed to the place where he would wait for this bride. He turned around and brought his hands together at his waist and waited.

  Hatred exploded inside me as I stared at him, as I saw the genuine affection in his eyes, the excitement that Annabella was his once more. Maybe things would be different this time around, maybe that was just a one-time mistake. It seemed like he loved her…really loved her.

  And then she came.

  Fucking angel without wings.

  In a long-sleeved wedding gown made of lace, she glided across the stone floor carrying a beautiful bouquet. Pops of color—pink, white, and green—were in her hands, the colors complementing the simple pink ribbon tied around her small waist. Her eyes were straight ahead, looking at the man who couldn’t wait for her to reach him.

  For an instant, I wasn’t sick. I was peace…in awe of her heavenly glow. Her brown hair was scattered around her shoulders, and she’d chosen to go light on the makeup, letting her natural beauty fill that cathedral to the very top. With her rosy cheeks, painted lips, and gorgeous eyes…she really was the most beautiful woman in the world.

  And I watched her go.

  She passed me without knowing I was there, and that was when the nausea returned.

  The sadness. The despair. The regret.

  I’d made my choice, and I stood by it. There was no other possible outcome, so there was no past to rewrite. I was where I was supposed to be…as was she. But that didn’t make this pill easier to swallow, didn’t make me less angry.

  But I couldn’t stand there and watch.

  I shifted down the row of people, disturbing their view for a moment before I finally made it to the aisle. The music still played over the speakers as the ceremony continued. I made it to the main doors just when the music cut off and the priest began to speak. “We’re gathered here to—”